My current boyfriend and I were watching my brother Chris on his bet special when there was a knock at the door.
"I'll get it," I stood up and walked over to it, immediately peeking through the door. My heart dropped and I looked down, fumbling with my fingers. "Bae...it's Shad."
"HOW MANY TIMES I GOTTA TELL THIS NGGA OFF!" Bluey got mad, standing up. "Baby, go to the bedroom." he walked over to me.
I met Bluey halfway and held his shoulders to stop him. "Baby, no! No, i'll handle him."
"You'll handle him?" He bit his bottom lip and nodded. "You'll handle him like you did the last few times...and wound up cheating on me? Right?" he kept on nodding and walked away to the bedroom.
I sighed. I was completely honest with Shad. I told him everything, and admitted to cheating. He forgave me, but this time there wasn't going to have to be any cheating because I was going to tell Shad off. This time, I wasn't gonna fall for his sorry cries. I opened the door and there Shad with a bouquet of purple flowers.
"Sofia, I love you with all of my heart. Please take me back." he smiled crookedly.
I shook my head. "Shad, we had this conversation before. No."
"I know you love me, Sofia. Stop fronting for ya man in there. He don't love you like I do. Matter of fact he ain't never did the sht that I did for you. Stop being in denial."
"I'm not in denial. Bye shad," I began to close the door, but he blocked it with his body. "Shad, move."
"I'm not leaving, Sofia. I'm serious. I've changed, okay?"
"Yeah, right. You said that sht the last time I took you back and guess what, you made a fool out of me, again."
"I swear to God that I've changed. Please."
"Shad, I'm in love with another man. Move on."
"Why can't you just stop thinking about how good that ngga bang yo pussy and remember how a real man made love to you! I mean even your friends are saying that you should take me back. They don't even know this ngga. Got you all couped up at his crib. What type of man don't show his girl off to the world."
"First of all, Bluey makes love to me every day and night. Second of all, you ain't do sht but bang them other btches. Third of all, I don't care what my friends say because it's about how I feel and what I think and what I wanna do. Fourth of all, they don't have to know him because I know him. And I know that I'm in love with him."
"Sofia you don't love this ngga."
"Shad, you need to leave."
"I'm begging you. Baby, I'm on my knees." He got down and set the flowers beside him. "Please," he put his hands together. Water filled his eyes and he looked up at me. "Sofia Margueritte Hawkins, please take me back. I love you. Forgive me for all my sins. I've changed. I-I...I'm not even partying like I use to. All I do is take care of Shai and be alone at my crib thinking about you. Sofia, please."
"SOFIA!" Bluey called. "Tell this ngga..." he sighed. "Taking all day."
"Shad, you have to go. It was a waste of your time coming here."
"Sofia, love is blind sometimes. And I know now that having a girlfriend is a responsibility not a privilege. I want to make you smile. I want see you smile and be happy and give you everything you want. I'm here. Give me another chance. I promise you that it'll be better this time."
Tears filled my eyes and I covered my mouth as I became full of emotions. I did still love Shad, but I couldn't be that fool, again. I couldn't fall for his 'I've Changed' speech. But every time it gets longer, and this time I actually saw him cry. That made me cry, but how could I tell if this was real this time.
"I can't do this, again. You hurt me too much. I'm sorry." I closed the door.
"Sofia!" Shad called. "Please!"
I turned around to see Bluey in the kitchen smiling with a spoon of peanut butter in his mouth. "Finally," he said.
I stared at him and went to the bathroom to cry. Bluey was a better man. He never cheated on me. He always treated me right. And even though I said I loved him, I loved Shad more because we had something so good. But I couldn't. Sometimes it's better to let go of the things you love. But this love was completely misunderstood.