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For The Record {Chapter 55 Added} {3/10/13} {I'M BACK!!!}

HI! :) Haha, this is my first CB story so let me know what ya think!

<em>Cause when I'm looking in your eyes
Feels like the first time
Give me one good reason why
We can't just press rewind</em>

The lyrics spill out on the page without much effort. She doesn’t have to try hard. They’re embedded in her brain and easily transferable to the paper. She tries her damn hardest to withhold the tears that are threatening to fall. Her make up for today isn’t waterproof and she doesn't feel like taking time out to do it over because her jolted emotions can’t control themselves. Misty eyes are as far as she’s letting it go. He’s not worth her tears. At least, that’s what she tells herself. Then again, she’s been telling herself a lot of untrue things lately.

Sighing heavily, <a href="http://a1.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/558604_298229126926725_100002189217716_659503_781618814_n.jpg" target="_blank">Layla “Lala” Brown</a> sets the pen and paper to the side. She doesn’t feel like writing anymore. The sudden urge she previously had to finish the song is no longer there. She gets up from the writing desk and makes her way over to her California King Size bed. Yanking the covers back, she slides in the warm bed, huddling under the covers. The vacancy next to her is impossible to ignore. She lies on her back. Her long jet-black hair splays all over the pillow. She does not bother wrapping it up. She sees no reason to; it’s not as if she has to wake up tomorrow looking presentable for <a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_CXZz9nlRxAc/TTOpwb80rXI/AAAAAAAAAQw/MeXtIsBBRYc/s1600/chris+brown11.jpg" target="_blank">him</a>. He won’t be there.

She winces slightly thinking about where he is. She doesn’t know exactly, but she has a pretty damn good guess. A guess that makes her heart ache even more. She wonders how she got there. How they got there. She has a good life. At the tender of age of 20, she lives a life most people would kill to have. Her debut album went multi-platinum and won her two Grammy's along with countless other awards. She has sponsorships with mega companies like Juicy Couture, Nike, South Pole, etc. She successfully ventured into the acting business and received critical acclaim for all her performances. Millions of girls look up to her and want to be just like her. Guys think she’s sexy as hell. Most importantly, she’s the wife of international superstar Chris Brown. Yet, she’s miserable as hell.

Her eyes start to water even more as she thinks on how much things had changed. She knew marriage was going to be hard, but she never thought it would be this difficult. She always knew she would never be enough for Chris, sexually. How could she? She was inexperienced when it came to sex before Chris. She knew the logistics of it, but that was it. She was clueless when it came to what guys liked, what turned them on and all the right places to attack. He wasn’t. He knew exactly what to do and was perfect at it. He constantly reassured her that she was fine in bed and shouldn’t worry so much. She blindly listened to him. She should have known better. If she was really fine in bed, why the hell was he out somewhere f***ing one of his many whores?

She wanted to believe, if not her skills in bed, then maybe her undying love for Chris would keep him from straying. Their love should have been enough. But it wasn’t not anymore. They weren’t the same people they were almost two years ago. His love for her has diminished and she wonders if there is any hope for them. So much has happened.

Is it too much to overcome though?

Comments

And ANOTHER THING!

Lol, y'all thought I was done huh? Well too stankin' bad. Lala and these damn secrets, when in the hell will she get enough of playing hide and go secret! Because Damn, threats and stuff is pretty damn huge! Like wtf? These men are out to hurt you, to purposely kill yo ass. You telling Mickie ain't gonna sh*t, I mean I'm all for their friendship and Mickie has her back, but Chris is her MAN. Her husband, that nigga will kill for her safety. Duh! She's suppose to tell him, didn't she learn from this sh*t already? Secrets aren't good at all, her friend is lying in the hospital in a coma and could die! Wtf! LALA please have some freaking sense, because right now you tryna keep peace and be damn near superwoman. But the Brian and Trey, they gonna get theirs! Rape her?! If Chris knew this he'll blow the hell up, everybody know he don't tolerate BS! Especially her, that his family, his wife, of course he's gonna fight for her regardless! So if she doesn't tell his ass, more bad stuff may happen and he'll find out at the wrong damn time an maybe by the wrong damn person. And he doesn't need that, Lala isn't....she jus isn't good at letting people in. Take her ass to a counselor so she can seek help, and tell Chris! Like damn!

UGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!
Right now, Lala is on my negative chart.

I'll be damned, that's messed up. Totally messed up, & right now I'm not talking about the story, I'm talking Bout how your former best friend can steal from you and lie about it. Jesus! What is going on with these people today? *throws holy water over everyone* God bless them! Have mercy! & I've always been a social beautiful, I love joking and acting like a pure clown, (if you ain't already know) lol! But my circle isn't big either, a couple and that's it.

Now, my response to the update. Poor Chris, he was so needy and helpless. Even a bit heartless, but I understood what he meant. I know Chris would have loved the hell out of their son, I can tell he misses Marcus very much. An innocent child shouldn't have to leave the world young and my get a shot at life. In the story you may have said how did the baby die, but I don't remember. Did Marcus die quickly after birth, miscarriage, or when he was a couple months old? Awwwwwwwl. I feel bad for Lala & Chris, they had a family, :( but not to worry Chris, because all this "needing" y'all doing lately surely is gonna put a bun or two in Lala's oven! If ya know what I mean. ;) lol. But I'm glad Lala and Chris are gonna help Carlos, but please have them be smart, and not write some big ass check to Mariah, her ass might not use it for him. Smh! It's just a thought, so tell the Doctors instead you'll pay it to them, duh!

Whew. I imagine Chris being so vulnerable and sexy. Whew!

And who is that man? Urrrrr, :O

glad lala was able to "persuade" chris that she was helping caros and not really mariah..im glad their relationship is improving..they are awesome together..! After this whole operation with carlos and what not i hope mariah aint gon be tryna be all buddy buddy with lala..and come on ashley..i hope she starts to improve and get better..looks like she has a unexpected visitor..hmmm RUN IT!

Lol thanks. :) that was sweet the way chris needed lala just like lala needed him. I know its a sticky situation with talking about their son ..but maybe they should try again. Having another child may not be such a bad thing. (She may be preggo already ;p) Counseling is still gonna be good for both of them. I see the love between them. Run it quickly!

Tia && Kianna

Yeah, online schooling is....not all it's cranked up to be. I've been doing it since the like..the beginning of the middle school. It's starting to get boring. I keep my circle small by choice. I've had a lot of people turn on me this year. (Example: My <strong>former</strong> best friend stole from me on my birthday, after I spent money on her and then tried to lie and turn it all on me. It was messy.)

Plus, since bad ass Tia seems to be the social bird, ps seems just fine for her. ;) Never been to one though. Always private school.

Hi Nana! I'm glad you took the time out to read my story and even happier that you like...er...love it. As far as my writing, I know this is starting to sound redundant, but I don't see how my writing is all that great.

I certainly don't have a conventional writing method. With the exception of making sure my contractions (Your and You're, They're, There, There) are on point and my spelling (amid the simple mistake I occasionally make) is intact, I pretty much go with the flow. I try to make my writing as vivid as possible to make sure you guys feel like you can actually picture and feel what's happening.

shestayfly89 also mentioned something like that as well. I can always hear Lisaraye's voice whenever I'm writing for Crystal. lol Speaking of her, maybe it's time for her to make an appearance. *Closes Lips*

So yeah, thanks to all of you who comment (especially Lovelylace_13©) you seem dope. All of you do. :)

Until The Next Update....

<strong>BE BREEZY!!!</strong>

Lmao

~Amber~

Omg!
Love the chapter!
And why main b**** Leelee daddy back in the picture!
And I don't know why I got a feeling Mariah not telling Lala aka Layla aka Chanel the whole truth
Anyway Run it Amby!

::.Chapter 37.::

*No One’s POV*

“I honestly can’t believe you’re acting like this.” Lala shakes her head, walking into she and Chris’s master bedroom. “You’re being so f***ing heartless.”

“And you’re being naïve.” Chris retorts, following behind his wife. “Have you forgotten about everything Mariah has done to us?”

“Of course, I haven’t forgotten. I’ll never forget.” She rolls her chocolate eyes and removes an earring. “But I can forgive her Chris. I <strong>have</strong> forgiven her and so should you.” She takes out the other earring.

Chris scoffs bitterly and slips off his shirt. “Fine, if you wanna play the Virgin Mary and forgive folks and act like s*** ain’t happened, all the more power to you. But don’t expect me to do the same.”

Lala whisks around to face her husband. “Why are you focusing all your attention on Mariah and what she did?”

Chris gives her a ‘Are you serious’ look. “Gee, I don’t know, maybe because this whole thing is about <strong>her</strong>.”

“No.” Lala shakes her head, unbuttoning her shirt and throwing it in the hamper. “This is about her <strong>son</strong> Chris. Not her. A child. An innocent child who didn’t ask to be conceived the way he was or to be born to the mother he has or to have a bad heart, for that matter.”

Lala watches as Chris’s handsome face blankets with confusion. She mentally curses herself, realizing she’s revealed too much information.

“Conceived what way?” He questions. “The f*** are you talking about?”

Part of the agreement is that Lala will keep Mariah’s rape a secret between the two until she’s ready to come out and disclose it. London is the only other person that knows what happened to Mariah.

“What if….” Lala looks down at the ground and debates whether she should say what she’s about to. “What if it was our son Chris?”

Her question leaves him so astonished; it takes a minute before he’s actually able to say something. “That’s different and you know it.” His voice is low and filled with emotion.

“How?” She challenges, slipping on a tank top. “How is it different? Because of we are and who Mariah is? Because you think we’re somehow better than her?” With each word, her voice rises and her feet start carrying her towards the heavily tattooed man. “Or maybe because-“

“It’s different because our son is dead Chanel!” Chris snaps at his wife, causing her to jump back as she releases a wince at the insensitive tone of his voice. She can’t deny it. His words hit her hard, but she knows she has to stay strong.

“And soon, Carlos will be too, if we don’t help him.” She replies expressionlessly, still surprised by his outburst.

The two stare at each other for what seems like hours. Eventually, Chris ends the starring match and situates himself on the edge of their bed.

“I just don’t…” He stammers, placing his head in his hands. “I don’t understand why some people get to live and others don’t. Why….Carlos gets a chance at life…and our child didn’t.” He looks up at Lala with such anguish and despondency, it nearly breaks her heart, and she wants nothing more than to take his pain away. “I know it sounds bad and that I probably sound heartless, but…..” He looks down at the ground. “I can’t help the way I feel Chanel. I resent the boy for reasons beyond his control.”

“Yours too.” His wife adds on, rubbing the back of his neck. “You also had no control over the situation. It wasn’t your fault baby.”

“I sometimes wonder….” He refuses to look at Lala and the words that leave his mouth leave her flabbergasted. “If God taking him from us was punishment for what I did to Robyn….”

Her gasp is loud and fills the room. “Christopher.” She calls out his name and when he makes no effort to respond, she forces him to look at her. “Don’t you <strong>ever</strong> think that again. What happened between you and Robyn had absolutely nothing to do with our son. I don’t know why exactly…it had to be…Marcus.” She bites her lip to hold back the tears. She smiles inwardly remember how she and Chris would go back and forth while trying to come up with a name. Finally, the two agreed on naming their first child ‘Marcus’, in honor of her father. “But, God apparently didn’t want us to have him. You can’t blame yourself for something that was always out of your hands.”

Still, he doesn’t look at her. She can tell he’s dealing with an internal struggle. Trying to be strong, but feeling so helpless. She knows that feeling all too well.

“Chris…” She pleads, desperation drenching her voice. “Talk to me please. Yell at me. Scream at me. Whatever. Just don’t….don’t shut me out.”

After what seems like forever, Chris finally brings his glazed eyes to meet hers. “I need you…” He mumbles, and Lala immediately understand what he means. Just like that night she needed him, it’s now time for him to need her. She doesn’t even hesitate to crawl on top of his lap.

Raining kisses from his face to his neck, she brings her mouth to his ear and sensually and lovingly whispers in his ear. “I’m here baby.” Lala’s hands move down to his waist as her fingers start to undo his belt buckle. “I’ll always be here.”

-CONT.-

“Damn.” Mickie’s lips form into a tight line as she tries to process everything her cousin just told her. She’s speechless.

“Are you sure she’s telling the truth? I mean, I can’t imagine someone lying about their child having a heart condition, but given everything that she’s done…..ya never know.”

“I know she is.” Lala presses her fingers against her temple. “I can’t explain it. I just know. If you would have seen the look in her eyes….” She ventures off, remembering how broken and desperate Mariah looked.

Mickie nods. She understands, but at the same time, she doesn’t understand. “Well what did Chris say?”

Lala feels a blush creep up her cheek, as flashbacks from the couple’s night before, fill her mind. “It took a little persuading, but I eventually talked him into it.”

Mickie nods again. “So I’m guessing you didn’t tell him about Brian and Trey’s little-“

“Hell no!” Lala cuts the green-eyed young woman off. “Chris would kill both of them and I’m not even exaggerating. I hate keeping secrets from him, even though that seems to be all I’ve been doing lately, but in this case-“

“The less Chris know about <strong>you know what</strong>, the better?”

Lala chuckles bitterly. “You got it.”

A frown appears on Mickie’s glowing face. “I never did really apologize for what I did at the hospital that night. Telling Chris about the text and all that. I really am sorry. I was out of line and, to be honest, I don’t know what came over me.”

Lala sighs. “Don’t worry about it M. You were upset. We all were. Besides, I should have told Chris right after it happened.”

“Yeah, but it wasn’t my place to tell.” Mickie adds on, as she pulls into the Hospital parking lot. “This feels so strange. I
still can’t believe that Ashley is-“

“Please.” Lala puts up a hand to silence her. “Don’t say it. It’s bad enough we have to see her like this."

A small smile creeps on Mickie’s face. “I bet if she were awake, she’d be turning that hospital inside out.”

Lala releases a small, but sad laugh. “Girl, you know she would. With her crazy ass.”

“Lee Lee would be cutting b****es left and right.”

“Yes she would….” Lala agrees quietly, as the two pull into a parking spot. Her gaze travels around as the two mentally prepare to see their best friend lying in a hospital bed. She settles her irises on a tall, handsome man while he exits his vehicle. She knows this man. Or, at least, she’s seen him somewhere before. It take a minute for realization to kick in. Her eyes go wide. “Oh my God.”

“What?” Mickie asks.

“Look over there.” Lala points in the direction of the man.

Mickie’s eyes also go wide. “Holy s***! Is that-“

“Yup.” Lala replies absentmindedly while the two cousins stare in shock at the sight of David. David Barnes. Ashley’s estranged father.

_FTR_

I know I need to write a legit author’s note to reply to all of you, but I’m so delirious right now, so I’ll do it tomorrow.

Promise! :) Thanks to all my old/new comments. Night.

Omg!
I f***ing love this story!
You are SUCH AN AMAZING writer!
The way you be writing this s*** make feel like in there!
Omg xD
I just caught up on everything, hopefully Leelee be alright!
That was my b**** :((
Run it!

Awe that was nice of lala to pay for his operation after all of the s*** his moms put her through. Even though its f***ed up how mariah plotted against them , I understand why she did it. A mother would do any and everything for her child <3. Now on to those b****ass motherf***ers Brian and trey... They r f***in sick! Who plans to rape someone *even though I know sick f***ers plans s*** like that in real life* I hope they get locked up and a dude with a 12 inch meat tear them a new butt hole... Or Chris could just put on a mask and beat them up again *insert evil grin here*. I hope a miracle happens and ashley wakes up, I miss her violent ass. Cant wait for the next chapter!!

Glad Mariah finally came clean about everything. Makes me like a little more now. and aww they were both rape victims..sad. That woulda been cruel if she let Lala be a victim of rape..again. Run it soon! Im eager for more!

I'm on my phone, so I'll try not to make this comment long as hell as I usually would. Lmfao, you lucky. Online classes huh? Is it boring? You ain't got no friends? :( lol. Just kidding, that's dope. Lucky you tho, I have a little less than a week -_____- ugh.

& I liked that add, it was sincere & sweet. Nice of La to hear Mariah "too goodie two shoes" ass out. I'm sorry to hear about her rape and Carlos's condition. Poor little boy has no father nor a healthy life. Lala will be blessed even more for helping someone, who she barely knows that came in her home and tried to screw it up. Mariah may have a dirty ass past; but that gives her the right to push for the better. Not rob a good strong marriage, although it was on the rocks. Amy, that's a stupid and crazy move, UMPH.

Brian is a damn fool.
She could have been hurt again, & Chris would be in prison for killing his dumb goofy ass!

awwwww I actually like Mariah now. She is so sweet and nice now! I'm so sorry about the things I said bout you girl! I'm sorry about your son's heart condition. And Lala I'm happy that you decided to pay for Carlos' operation.

Now.....Kianna lol how did I spill the beans? I told her that we aren't to blame for anything lol. And naaaaw I aint got no biscuit phone girl lol. But I would have to do all that copy and pastin and switchin from one app to the other and my phone freeze up cause I be speedin and s***..... -__- so I just was like f*** it, I ain't finna do all that, ya'll can just look that s*** up lol.

Amber, no offense but I couldn't do online schooling. We get a break and a well needed one at that but our superintendent tryin to make us have year roun schoolin and he already added 30 extra minutes onto the regular school day and he makin us learn mandarin Chinese which is stupid as f***. And I mean, the drama aint all THAT bad, well.....not if you dont feed into it. If you feed into it like all the other people I know, public school will be hell for you. And plus I'm trynna be good because I dont wanna get kicked off the cheerleadin team. I got kicked off last year for fightin and suspensions and detentions and ISS [I was REALLY bad last year] But I'm better this year. The school made me take anger management [I'm NOT an angry person at all, nor am I crazy. I just hate it when people f*** with me just because I'm small and some what nice.....somewhat......some......what..lol] But I'm a cool person!!!!

ruuuun it

Oh, and Tia and Kianna? Sucks to be ya'll! ;) Well, just Tia, since she's started school already. Don't let the bastards get ya down *In Rihanna voice*

And Tia...God be with you. Both of you.

I do online schooling so I don't have to worry about all that drama.

I beez chillin. lmao

Not really though. I'm taking advanced classes and I do school year round. I never get a break. lol

::.Chapter 36.::

*Lala’s POV*

“What the HELL is she doing here?!” I yell, as Chris places his arms around my waist, sorta holding me back. I shoot daggers in <a href="http://i1050.photobucket.com/albums/s413/DramaQueenAmby/For%20The%20Record/tumblr_m4y43sQGKD1r00gz5o1_1280.jpg" target="_blank">Mariah's</a> direction, but my question is aimed at Stabler and Benson.

“Mrs. Brown.” Stabler starts, walking towards me. “Please calm down.”

“Don’t tell me to f***ing calm down.” I hiss. “How can I? When you have the b**** that’s responsible for my best friend getting SHOT in your office? I thought you were working for us!”

“Lala, you have to believe me when I tell you that I had nothing to do-“

“I suggest you shut the f*** up.” I sneer at Mariah, cutting her off. “Before I do something <strong>you’re</strong> going to regret.”

“Why is she here anyway?” Chris asks, still holding me in case I decide to jump on Mariah. His tone isn’t as aggressive as mine, but you can hear the animosity in it.

Benson opens her mouth to answer, but Mariah beats her to it. “I’m trying to make things right.”

“Unless you can turn back time and stop Ashley from ever getting shot and you and Brian coming into our lives, I highly doubt that is possible.” I shoot back.

She looks down at the ground with a frown. “I deserve that.”

“You deserve a lot of things Mariah.” I spit out her name with disgust. “The main one though is another ass whipping.” I inch to move towards her, but Chris tightens his grip on me, holding me back. “Did you not think that we would find out what you and Brian were up to?”

“Please.” If I didn’t know any better, I’d say my the look on her face and the sincerity in her voice, that she was being genuine. “I can explain everything if you would just-“

“What’s there to explain?” I intensify my glare. “You came into my house, tried to break up my marriage, and got my BEST FRIEND shot.”

“Everything you said is true, except the part about the shooting.”
She corrects. “I had <strong>nothing</strong> to do with that. I’d put my head on the chopping board over that. I’m a lot of things, but a killer isn’t one of them. I don’t think Brian had anything to do with it either, but I can’t speak for him. I can only speak for myself.”

A blanket of silence envelops the room as Stabler and Benson stare at the scene on front of them. Their positions tell me that they’re ready to jump and intervene between Mariah and I, if something breaks out between us two.

Finally, Chris says something. “Why did you do it Ria?” His voice holds anger, but it also contains hurt.

Her eyes water as she meekly replies. “I needed the money.”

“Money?” I c**k my head to the side. “For what?”

“Mommy!” A little <a href="http://i1050.photobucket.com/albums/s413/DramaQueenAmby/For%20The%20Record/tumblr_lv5muvUedl1r00gz5o1_1280.jpg" target="_blank">boy</a>, probably around 4 or 5 years old, runs in the room and heads straight for…..Mariah?

“Carlos.” She laughs, picking him up and placing him on her lap.
“I thought I told you to wait in the lobby with Auntie London.”

“But it’s boring in there mommy!” He pouts, crossing his arms. “There are no toys and besides, I wanna be with you.”

“I know sweetie.” A warm smile graces her face. “But how about this? When I get done here, you me and London can go get In-N-Out Burger-“

“Alright!” He cheers, not even allowing her to finish. She laughs and places a kiss on his cheek, before he jumps off her lap.

A <a href="http://i1050.photobucket.com/albums/s413/DramaQueenAmby/For%20The%20Record/crystal-westbrooks-goes-to-hollywood-5.jpg" target="_blank">woman</a> appears at the door with an apologetic look. “Sorry Ria. I got distracted and the little devil slipped off.” The woman glares playfully at Carlos as he runs toward her. “Come on you. Let’s let mommy finish her business.” The two walk off and Chris and I are left flabbergasted.

“You…” I struggle to get the words out. “You have a child?”

“Yes, I do.” Her lips form into a tight line. “Can we talk? Just you and me.”

“I don’t think that’s such a good-“

“Okay.” I cut Chris off as he removes his arms and gives me a confused look. “I want to hear what she has to say.” I’m speaking to Chris, but my eyes never leave Mariah.

“We’ll give you two some time alone.” Stabler tells us as he and Benson move to exit the room. “Mr. Brown, would you care to join us?”

Chris looks at Mariah and then at me. He doesn’t even have to say anything. I already know what he’s thinking. “I’ll be fine.”

He just nods a little, kisses me and leaves with the detectives. I watch as the door closes and the three walk off before turning my attention back to Mariah. I take a deep breath, trying to calm my nerves and take a seat across from her. “You wanted to talk? Let’s talk.”

She exhales deeply. “First and foremost, I’m so sorry for everything that’s happened because of Brian and I. I….don’t know what I was even thinking.”

“Why didn’t you tell us you have a child? Where has he been staying this whole time?”

“He’s been staying with my sister.”

“That woman that was just at the door….” I trail off.

“Yeah that’s London. She’s my big sis.” She smiles a little and brings her eyes to finally match mine. “And I didn’t tell you about Carlos because he’s the reason I did all of this.”

“I thought you said you needed money.” I accuse, narrowing my eyes.

“I do.” She clarifies. “The money is for him.” She notices the bewildered look on my face and continues. “Carlos….has a heart condition. It wasn’t as bad when he was younger, but it seems the older he gets….the more severe it becomes. It could take his life.” I feel my heart break a little as complete despair overtakes her face. “He needs a heart transplant….and he needs it soon. But it’s so expensive and my insurance won’t cover it. And there’s no way I can afford it so….” She trails off, looking down.

“When I heard that you and Chris were having problems-“

“Who told you that?” I ask meekly, feeling a little numb.

“London. She’s friends with Karrueche.” She sighs, before continuing. “Anyway, when I heard that. I figured that maybe….Chris and I could finally be together-“

“And that he would pay for the operation.” I finish for her.

“Right.” She looks down. “I would have just asked for the money but….I…I really do or did have feelings for Chris. I knew he didn’t feel the same way when we were younger, but I just hoped that maybe he would change his mind…” She shakes her head. “Either way, It was wrong of me to even-“

“What about your family? And where does Brian come into this whole equation?” I interrupt.

“They’ve practically disowned me because of Brian.”

“What?” I question. “Why?”

“He’s….he’s my step-brother.” My eyes go wide. “Our parents got married shortly after I moved to New Orleans. We were always attracted to each other, but never acted on anything in fear of our parents reaction. Then, we got drunk one day and…well…we got caught in bed together. Our families wen’t ballistic. Called me every name in the book. Brian too. They said we were sinners and that they wouldn’t promote incest. They kicked us out. London is the only member of my family whose willing to have a relationship with me. We’ve been together ever since. ”

“As a couple or…” I press on.

“Romantically and Familial wise. Mostly friends though.” She replies.

“So is he Carlos’s father?” I query.

“No, th…..that’s where things get…complicated.” Her face goes pale and I watch her scoot around in her chair.

I scrunch my nose if confusion. “I don’t understand….”

“Let’s just say….” She scoffs bitterly. “You and I are both members of the same club.”

What the hell is she…..Oh God. “You were raped.” She nods while looking down at the ground. “s*** Mariah…I’m so sorry-“

“Don’t be.” She manages to give me a week smile. I see a tear roll down her cheek. “Because, despite how horrific, vile and…agonizing that night was…..it gave me that beautiful little boy in there.”
She motions to the lobby where Carlos, London, and Chris are. “He means the world to me. And I don’t care how he got here, because I know he was sent here for a reason. I can’t imagine my life without him. He’s my all.”

“Mariah…” I breathe, feeling all my hate for this girl melt away. “I had no idea…..”

“I know you hate me, and I can’t say I blame you. But I want you to believe me when I tell you I’m done trying to mess up what you and Chris have. That night at the club? Brian told me he wanted us to go apologize and confess to you two. I had no idea what he really had planned.”

“So he’s the one who arranged for that man to kill Tyga?”

She shakes her head. “No, I don’t think so. He’s never said anything bad about Tyga. That was something completely different. I’m talking about what Brian and Trey had planned for you-“

“What?” I cut her off. “What did they have planned?”

“Again, I had no idea. Brian just told me about it this morning.”
She looks down in shame. “Brian and I were supposed to distract your friends long enough for that girl you were talking to-“

“Erica?”

“Yeah her.” She confirms. “She was going to distract you while her friend slipped something in your drink. The guys were betting on you excusing yourself and going to the bathroom or something and when they had you alone, they were going to grab you and take you off somewhere so they could…-“

“Rape me.” I finish, feeling my stomach drop. “They were going to drug and rape me.”

She bites her lip and her eyes water even more. “When Brian told me this morning, I felt sick to my stomach. He doesn’t know about my rape. I just told him it was a one night stand. I can’t believe he and Trey are that evil. I couldn’t sit back and let him get away with this. You and I have already been through that once….I can’t imagine anyone going through it twice.”

I sit still, trying to take in everything she just told me.

Finally, I move over and place my hands on top of hers. “Thank you Mariah….for telling me about this. Everything.”

She gives me a sad smile. “Us rape victims have to stick together.”

“You’re right…we do.” I return her smile. “And that’s why I’m going to pay for Carlos operation.”

Her eyes go wide. “No Lala, I can’t let you do that. After everything I’ve done to you…why would you even want to help me-“

“It’s not just for you. It’s for Carlos.” I respond. “And besides…I know what it’s like to lose a child.” My head drops and my eyes moisten. “I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. Carlos <strong>will</strong> have his surgery. He’s going to be fine.”

She attacks me with a hug as the both of us cry in each other’s arms.

_FTR_

Hmm….I don’t think you guys will like this one….

RUN IT

Man eff it. I say Lala and Chris go fight them niggas one on one. Woww you got a lil paper sayin i can't come around you no more.. like I'd obey dat. Catch you on the street aint no tellin wats gon happen. Mariah and Brian shulda never been in the picture tryna mess the relationship up and Trey...(sigh) he need serious help. Anywayzz run it soon Amber! Lol

First of all, my response to Tia. Df? Lmaaaaao, your dumbass was suppose to keep it on the DL. The downlow! Like are you serious, you spilled the beans! So now everyone is gonna know if something happens to Amber we gonna be finger printed and locked up. Everybody gonna be looking for me up here, on my IG, facebook & all social media! DF! Nice going, gee partner! Lmao. And or the spell checking-- yo ass got a biscuit phone? ROFL. I'm just joking, better use damn spell check or sound some shxt out. Lol!

Now, for the story. The new add you posted, wtf is wrong with Tyga? Ashley needs her the most right now, even if she is in a coma; he needs to be by her side if he loves her! But it is normal for him to be distant because he feels that it's his fault. Poor thing, his funny/corny ass don't got no jokes to say now. :( I hate it for him. Poor Ashley needs to pull through and make it work, because she deserves the best and the best is to marry Tyga and have a good family and friends like she always wanted. As for Chris & Lala, I'm glad they asses finally brought Brian and Mariah shxt to the light and how they lied on the two of them to sabotage their strong relationship. Total BS! Bs! Ridiculous! Lala is about to get gangsta, uh oh! And another thing; WTF! A restraining order? Wtf kinda little girl bullshxt is that, like OMG. Little ass wimps! I'll kick both they asses! Smh! But please be careful Lala and Chris, no more visits to the hospital! ...for 40 weeks! Because Lala is due then. :)) lmao!

Ohhhhhh s*** Lala Finna get gangsta!!!!! (look up g s*** by webbie) ( I'm on my phone so I can't put the link)

But anywaaaay Lmaooooo I object (I think that's the right spelling) (don't get me wrong, I know how to spell object but idk if ub-ject and ob-ject are spelled the same) anyway!!!! I OBJECT!!! If something happened to her we are not to blame!!! Well..........not for the whole thing. Just a part of it. You know........the breaking and entering, the kidnapping, the harassment lol I'm jk I'm jk!!! But I know I'm ratchet I'm not even gone lie! But I can make myself sound proper af w/ a pen and paper or a phone and a keypad and a laptop!!! But when I get on the phone you'll be lookin like "wtf happened?!" lol

::.Chapter 35.::

*Lala POV*

Today makes a week since the shooting and Ashley hasn’t shown any sign of progression. Even though the doctors say it’s hard to tell with the state she’s in, they say her road to recovery, if she survives, won’t be easy. She’ll have to get physical therapy and the damage done to her internal organs are so severe, they don’t even want to think about the permanent after affects. The doctors keep hinting to her mom that they should contemplate just pulling the plug, but I know ‘Auntie’ Juanita would never do that. She still has faith. We all do. Ironically, she’s being the strongest out of all of us.

Tamara is taking it hard though. Along with Juanita, she hardly ever leaves Ashley’s side. All of us, with the exception of Tyga, visit Ashley <em>at least</em> once a day. Ty hasn’t seen her since that night he left the hospital. Actually, he didn’t even go in the room. After being questioned by the detectives, he managed to slip out without any of us noticing. I’m worried about him. He barely talks to anyone and just spends most of his time at the studio or at him and Ashley’s place. It’s like he’s isolated himself from the outside world.

To make things even worse, the media is having a field day with this. Everywhere we go, there’s always a reporter asking us about that night. Everywhere we look, there’s a magazine issue or new segment discussing that night. It’s everywhere we go. There’s no escaping it. The f***tards even started a rumor that Chris was the one who hit me, but I was quick to put a stop to that s***. I blasted those motherf***ers out via Twitter. Don’t even get me started on the fans. They feel so lost and confused. I feel bad for them.

“Lala.” Lydia’s caring voice interrupts my thoughts. “You’ve been really quiet tonight. Anything you feel like discussing?”

Fiddling with my fingers, I bite down on my lip. “No, not really. That’s the problem.”

She quips an eyebrow, and when I don’t respond, she turns towards Chris. “Care to explain?”

“She refuses to open up to me.” He sighs and leans back in the chair. “She keeps secrets from me, <strong>dangerous</strong> secrets and I don’t know why.”

I divert my eyes away from Lydia’s as I can feel her staring at me. “Is that true?”

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” I take a deep breath before answering. “I thought that finally coming out about my rape would help me with this, but it hasn’t. It seems like, the more stuff that happens to me, the more I feel compelled to hold it in and deal with it myself. It’s like I’ve traded in one secret for a million others.”

“What you’re going through Lala is completely normal.” Leaning forward on her desk, Lydia clasps her hands together and proceeds to continue. “Keeping something as serious as a sexual assault a secret all those years have made you comfortable with holding things in. You don’t see the wrong in it because it’s what you’re used to. You’re accustomed to trying to manage your pain by yourself.”

“So.” Chris pipes up and I shift in my seat. “Does that mean she’s going to be like this for the rest of her life?”

“Hardly.” Lydia shakes her head. “With time and counseling, it can definitely be broken.” She reclines back in her chair. “Have you decided whether or not you want to attempt to rebuild your relationship with your mother?”

“No, not yet.” I throw my head back against the seat’s headrest.

“I want to, but at the same time, I don’t want to…..I can’t really explain it.”

Lydia nods and turns towards Chris. “How do you feel about it?”

“Me, personally, I say she should cut all ties.” I can’t lie, his answer shocks me.

“Why?” Lydia queries, tilting her head to the side.

Chris’s eyes go wide with surprise. “Have you not been listening to anything we’ve told you? Her mother is a sick and evil woman.”

“But she’s still her mother, her <strong>sick</strong> mother Christopher. If you were in her shoes, what would you do?”

“But I’m not-“

“Just try it.” Lydia presses.

He sits and thinks for a moment, contemplating and analyzing the situation as a whole. “To be completely honest…..I don’t know.”

“Exactly.” Lydia smirks. “You don’t know. None of us can never fully understand a person’s thought process when they’re faced with a situation we ourselves have never had to personally experience. Besides, it’s not our decision to make.”

“This is so complicated.” I groan, feeling my body temperature start to rise. “Is the air not on or something? I’m burning up.” I fan myself using a pamphlet from off her desk.

“Uhh..” She stumbles, probably surprised by the sudden change in my mood. “Let me check for you.” She stands up and straightens her pencil skirt. “While I’m gone though, I want you two to talk.”

“Why?” Chris questions.

“Because that seems to be the most recent problem in your relationship, lack of communication.” She answers simply, walking out the door leaving the two of us alone.

“She’s right you know.” I murmur, pulling my knees up to my chest.
“We need to start being more honest with each other. Or, at least, I need to start being honest with you.”

He nods. “I agree.” A beat. “You want to go first?” I smirk and shake my head no. “Of course you don’t.” He grunts. I giggle. “Why didn’t you tell me about your relationship with…Brian?” He looks like he’s in physical pain by merely saying Brian’s name.

“What are you talking about?” I c**k my head to the side. “I told you already. We were friends.” I find myself growing defensive, but I honestly don’t know where it’s coming from. “Why didn’t you tell me about you and Mariah?”

“The f***?” He says, looking genuinely confused. “There was nothing to tell.”

“That’s not what she said.” I scoff.

“Oh?” He’s getting pissed. I can tell. “And what exactly did she say?”

“What did Brian say?” I shoot back, curious as to what he’s talking about.

“I asked you first.”

I give him a ‘WTF’ look. “Seriously Chris? What are we? 5? Just answer the damn question.” He crosses his arms and remains silent. Ugh. He can be so childish at times. “Fine. Long story short, she told me about how you were practically in love with her, but she didn’t feel the same, turned you down and subsequently left you heartbroken. There happy?” I finish with a glare. “Now tell me what Brian said.”

He looks at me dumbfounded. “I have no clue as to what you’re talking about. I liked Mariah, yeah, but I never told her how I felt.” Wait. What?

“That lying c***.” I hiss, realizing what she was aiming to do.
“She was trying to turn us against each other.”

“Both of them.” Chris’s tone matches mine. “He told me that you two were together for a year and that he was your first real relationship.”

“That is such bulls***!” I exclaim, sitting up in my seat. “I can’t believe he would try to sabotage our marriage like this!
Stupid motherf***ing b****. I can’t wait until his punk ass gets out the hospital so I can beat his trifling behind and send his ass right back.”

“I think you’re forgetting about the whole restraining order ordeal.” Chris reminds me. Can you believe he and Trey had the nerve to get restraining orders out on Chris and I? Pussy nigga’s.

“f*** that s***.” I blow him off, rising from my seat. “Come on.”

“Where are we going?” He asks.

“To go see Detective Stabler and Benson.” I grab my purse and head for the door.

“Why?”

“Because.” I reply sharply as we start walking out the office.
“I’m sick of Mariah and Brian f***ing with our lives, but I intend on making sure it doesn’t happen again. Ever.”

_FTR_

Not really feeling this one, but oh well. I’m a little bummed
cause my BFF is over in Cali, living it up this week, while I’m stuck in boring ass VA. -_-

And to my other readers, please ignore the inspirations for “Ratchet Girl Anthem” Tia and Kianna. They’ve been off their meds for a while now and the aftereffect is finally starting to kick in. ;) lmao

Seriously though….if something happens to me….those two crazy broads should be the mains suspects! Lmfao

RUN IT

Lmaoooo it showl ain't! This ain't spongebob! We ain't singin no camp fire songs!

But Kianna I wish I had 2 more weeks ugh.....

See, even Tia knows she's pregnant. See! She's pregnant. We know already, because we psychic & sh*t. And don't try & play us saying we pyscho. & yes, a damn riot! This ain't the time to be dancing around no fckin' camp fire and singing songs! SMH.

@Tia, damn. I ain't started school yet, got another two weeks. 27th I care my ass back, in the gates of burning hell where everybody is. -_______- smh. Damnit damnit! Damnit!

Awwwww their little date was so cute! But I don't blame Lala for being scared to skate lol. I haven't skated in years and I never fail at falling on my ass........hard! But I don't think she need to start talkin back to her mamma! I just don't think it will go well.....you know.......considering that she's pregnant and all.......

But I'm w/ Kianna, if Ashley don't pull up out this damn coma it's gone be some s***! It's gone be more than a damn boycott!! Ima start a riot! Ima start a riot! *in my 2 Chains voice* Ughhhhhh If I was in that club when that s*** happen I would have <a
href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4dx6isu7cpM">set it off in that muthaf***a!!!</a> [my ratchet ass song!] but yeeeeah!

And don't end the story!!!! Pleeeeease pleeeease!!! I love this story! I'm gone cry if it ends or when it ends but you CANT end cause you gots ta do the sequel!!! Ahaaaaa' *sticks tongue out and points at you* lmaooo

I'm sorry to hear about your family health history. I'm glad you're gettin treated so you don't have to worry about that #ThankYaLawd!!! And I'm glad your operation went well too.

And I was so sad yesterday, I came from school so happy! I was ready to get on my laptop thinking to myself "oh yeah, Amber got a good add for me" had the biggest smile on my face and when I saw that you didn't add I just got so sad lmaoooooo But now I'm happppppy!!!

But guuuuuuh!!!! It ain't even the second week of school and I already had to set a b**** straight! Smh, I can't wait to get out of Macon, Georgia. Ratchet ass city.........
I aint got time for this, I'm to grown!! Cause she RATCHET!!!

ruuuuun it

Lmaaaaao @ that "prepare" link. Df? You are so silly. And well damn, I'm bad huh? Oh well! And excuse the hell outta me for loving the story and how good at writing you are. So excuse the hell outta my ass, & if it is smut... Then, I dunno.... lol. Least they did the do's!

:) Thank you.

And yes TRICK you are a damn hurricane! Should've called you a tsunami. ;)

Awe s***. Now you got my ass nervous about writing the honeymoon. It's been YEARS since I've written smut. Like, the last time I can recall....I think I was 14 or some s*** like that. lol It's not going to be perfect so don't get too excited.

And I TOLD YOU I"M A TROLL with my s***. I warned all of ya'll. I need to put a freaking "Viewer Discretion Is Advised" in the tile of this. With a warning, "Not responsible for any emotional or physical attachments reading this story may cause." lmao

Honestly? I thought I had a clue as to when this story will end, but now I'm so lost. It might just turn out to be close to 100. I have figured out the events though and all I have to say is <a href="http://play.esea.net/global/media_preview.php?url=http%3A%2F%2Fi1213.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fcc474%2Fjimmyram70%2Fdis-gon-b-gud.gif" target="_blank">prepare</a>.

Get ready. *Evil smirk*

Aww, first I'm gonna say; I'm sorry about your family history with the colon cancer. I have a heart, and therefore my big heart goes out to you, I hope everything goes well and works out for the absolute best for you and your family. Praying for you. <3

Told you I had a HEART. :}

Anyways. Now that's out the way, wtf? Naming me a damn Hurricane, that's f*cked up! But you know what? I like it! :D Hurricane Katrina was pure hell years ago, she's my sister. ^_^ she got pissed off because niggas won't adding quick enough. *evil grin followed by a cough* I'm nothing like her stupid ass, lmao. :D

And wtf? I MEAN WTF? We cool, but I don't wanna hear about your ass being horny. Df I look like? :O lmaaaaaaaaaaoooo, rofl. Just joking, just joking. But that honeymoon add would have been hot and spicy, damn. I can imagine it now, "C'mon Chanel" ... Whew! Hair pulling, back action. ...nvm wait, Chanel was pretty much a "virgin" on their wedding night and Chris did say he felt like on that night he gave his all, and she tensed up the whole damn time. Either way, it'll be an adorable add to read!

And WTF again? Df! Your plotting against something! I can feel it, damnit! Damnit! Ugh! -_____- why Amber? Why? Why? Why?! Why can't everyone have a happy ending? (I don't want this story to end for A long ass time, it's my favorite!) and smh. Now if your meaning Robin and Mariah, and Trey ass not ending with a happy ending, then hell yeah, hell yeaaaaaaahhhhhh, fckin' right, allllllll right! Like PSH, but everybody else better end up happy. And if something happens to Ashley that worsens her and she doesnt come out this coma, not only will hell and more drama and sadness be created. But ima have a pitch fork and ima be pissed tf OFF.

I will be boycotting if some sh*t I don't like (chief keef voice) happens, f*ck with me you want to. :)) like you said, I got some sh*t with me, LMAAAAAAAAAooooo.

Wake up Ashley, wake up!

Oh yeah, that applies to you to Ashley. Don't be shy. Jut hop on in the discussion whenever you feel lead to. lol

Oh lord. Here comes hurricane Kianna. I swear, there's always some s*** with you! lol JK.

Yeah, I had to have an operation (test) thing done at the hospital. I'm having some health issues and colon cancer runs rapid on both sides of my family so they're doing some biopsies to rule it out. I ain't worried about it though. #TeamJesusGonWorkThatThingRightOnOut

Awe, I'm glad you like the flashbacks. So do I. I actually had A REALLY strong urge to make this add the honeymoon one cause I was in a horny mood. :P Then, I lost the urge and couldn't get a regular chapter to come out right so I settled for this one.

As far as your predictions go, you should know by now that I don't give s*** away. I will say this though...not everyone is going to get their happy ending. ;) That could apply to any of the characters ever introduced in the story. So don't even try to figure it out okay crazah? lol

And good luck with yo little boycott. Let's see how far it gets you. lmao

their first date was so cute..lol she was too nervous..they both refecting back on the good ol days before all of the drama

Come on Ashley pull through..they all need you! RUN IT!

First of all, what damn prodecure & biopsy? O__o I hope your meaning the asd and not actually help wise; correct? & that add was adorable, they went skating for their first date; adorable, sweet, innocent. Ah, I wonder what their first kiss was like, I like your flashbacks, they are cute and make me imagine how they started off and why they are so strong and caring with one another. I'm glad Chris doesn't blame her, Chanel needs toward not to hold secrets & threats, to work it out by talking to her husband, Chris. The man that should always have her back and be a listening ear. I hope talking to her mother is a good think, but I think it's not. I mean it's CRYSTAL for God's sake, that evil woman doesn't even know the drama she created and doesn't even know her child was in the hospital. I hope Ashley pulls thru, and that Mickie calms the hell down before she miscarriages of something. I'm the one that suppose to do all the damn hollering! So she chill and sit her pregnant ass down

SHEESH.
And another thing, I'm going on boycott & Tia agreed to be in it too! So all we need is some picket signs and some paint to make the signs and t-shirts to advertise. Because, I'll be damn if I'm not boycotting! Y'all know I'm crazy af, so PSH.

And mark my damn words, Lala is pregnant. She pregnant,I know she is! Keep on acting like she isnt. Her and Chris need an intimate relationship, a vacation. All this damned drama is a shame, a total mess, first it was her spazzing out at the counseling session and going to the hospital, getting Cis tested, then damn near hotel brown occurs, with drama and secrets, now this

Damnit!

@Lovelylace_13©

Thank you. :) Nice to meet ya Leeya. You can call me Amber or Amby. Whichever you prefer. I'm glad you like my story because honestly? I really don't see the big appeal in it. lol I mean, I love it and all, but I don't see what makes it so special. -shrugs-

Oh, and don't be shy. If you ever see me and one of the readers, mostly Tia and Kianna participating in some silly discussion. Feel free to join in. Tehe.

Glad everything went good with your procedure...I'm Leeya by the way.. great freakiin story i must say.. lovin it. Run it soon!