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OPEN ! .. My Heart Controls My Mind.

Hey everyone ! Alright so cutting straight to the chase. I have a confession.. I have been a silent reader for a VERY long time. Partly because I read from my phone most of the time. But blahh, whatever. I had a story on here a long ass time ago. It did numbers on chrisitis.com so I brought it over here. but ChrisBrownWorld had been tripping so I never got to upload the whole thing. I'm trying to get more involved now, because all of us basically have ONE thing in common. CHRISTOPHER MAURICE. Im going to start reviewing more now and Im going to start my story over.

Introducing .... My Heart Controls My Mind.

My Knees Start To Shake When Your In Sight, My Mind's Filled With Wonder, My Heart With Fright. When Will This Feeling STOP, When Did It Start ? How Can I Listen To My Mind Without Breaking My Heart. I Am So Confused What Should I Do. I Cant Think Of Anything Except For You. Should I Ignore You Or Just Give It Time, I Cant Think Straight My Heart Controls My Mind.

<b>Alone.</b>
The context of the word itself defines me. Alone in the hard streets of Harlem with nowhere to turn. Yes. I was Definitely Alone.

Allow me to introduce myself, my name is Kimiko Harris. My mom was Japanese and Dominican and my father was African American. I guess its safe to say Im a pure bread mutt. 18 years old and currently standing in the cold rain waiting for the next bus to come and take me as far away as possible .

I wasnt always this unfortunate. Just a few days ago I was your typical college girl, experiencing all the college frat parties and stuggling to stay awake in my classes. I had an amazing boyfriend who would buy me the world if I asked for it. His name was Dre', he was my bestfriend as well as my man and after my parents died in that car accident he was helping me pay for my college tuition. The only problem was that Dre' was a drug dealer. At the time it didnt bother me because we were still well off, and he would always be right there next to me when I woke up the next day.

But, over the last few days he would stop coming home and would only send me text messages , which was weird because we always talked on the phone. Until, a couple of weeks ago when he just never showed up. No calls. No texts. Nothing. What made it even worse is that I didnt have a dime, no tuition money or rent. You might think that it was stupid of me to not save the money as time went on. But, I would have never expected some s*** like this to happen. He told me it was US together, Forever and Always.
A few days ago, the school's financial aid denied me, and I found the eviction notice on the apartment door.

So I did the only thing I knew how, I ran from my problems.

Which is why Im sitting on this bench, at 1:00 im the morning, in the cold rain waiting on this bus to take me far away from here.
With my head in the palms of my hand as I ponder on the possible places I can go this late at night, a clean black on black 2011 Chrysler 300 pulls up to the curb.

"Ayo" A deep authoritive voice calls out to me. From the bench I looked up to see a Light Skinned man with a Chicago Bulls Snapback on with curly blond hair peeking through the side. In the Passenger seat was what seemed to be a woman also.

" Who M- Me?" Oh f*** Kimiko . How can this nigga possibly make you stutter already.

"Yo Ma, the buses stopped running a while ago. You need a ride?" he asked.
I didnt know this dude from Jack s***, and I sure as hell wasnt about to get in the car with him. But, it was raining hard as f*** tonight.

"Come on now b****, I dont have all night." You could hear the agitation in his voice boom out as he spoke.

b****?

"Drive off then, you f*** Ass Nigga."

He flipped his middle finger at me, as the tires of his car screeched off.
Figures, just like all the rest of these inconsiderate ass boys in the hood wannabes.

As the rain continued to pour down on my head full of curls, I realized I was back to square ONE .

AUTHOR'S NOTE
Kimiko's name is pronounced ( Kuh - Me - Ko )

Please leave your Comments or Suggestions Because They are Greatly appreciated and Strongly recommended .
Thanks Guys (:

Comments

I missed this ugh I wish she woulda actually shot him on some G s*** ugh that's some straight bull I can't believe this and Chris throwing low blows ain't right I think this is horrible and she shouldn't take yosh away and I wish demitri was there to knock some sense into her

I woke up the next morning to the sweet smell of pancakes. It made my stomach churn in agreement. I got up and headed downstairs where I immediately saw Kiyoshi sitting in her high chair.

" Hey Mommy's baby ." I greeted her as I picked her up and gave her a kiss on her cheek.

"Good Morning" Kae exclaimed cheerfully.

" Morning." I mumbled back to her with a small smile.

Although, I knew Kae was claiming to be different now, I wasn't so sure about just jumping into a friendship with her. b****es were sneaky and I wasnt saying she would do anything. But anyone is capable of switching up when they want to. I wasnt about to be dumb enough to let her get to close to me. Besides I had sex with Chris .. It just felt wrong .

" I was just making breakfast for Yosh, and then I thought about everyone else too so I said what the heck ." She giggled.

Um okay ?

Chris came down the stairs minutes later with his shirt off and some basketball shorts. He yawned and stretched as he came into the kitchen. He eyed me and turned away to pick up Kiyoshi.

" Daddy ! " Her eyes brightened when she saw him. I smiled as they embraced each other. Their relationship was cute. I was glad Kiyoshi was getting her father-daughter bonding time.

A text message ring signified a new message on my phone. When I opened it , it was a text from Ty.

Hey Lil Sis , just checkN on u . wanna no how you been . you need 2 roll w/ a nigga out to eat later on . Yo brng my Niece 2 !

I quickly replied back to him confirming those plans . I cant remember the last time I had a one on one talk with Ty. So much s*** had been going on that I didnt take anytime to just think about myself and my surroundings. The way my life was going now.. All I thought about was Chris or Demetri. I now realized that Chris has his own little world and Demetri would not want me to be sitting around sulking. He would want me to pick myself up and continue living for him.

And that's exactly what I planned to do from here on out. No more thinking about drama or irrelevant s***. I was going to think of me and my child. I was going to live life MY way.

She made the plates and we all sat at the table preparing to eat. I closed my eyes and said a silent prayer over my food, while both of them dug in to eat.

Ha. I guess the saying " A family that prays together, stays together " doesn't live here.

After breakfast I excused myself from the table and picked up Kiyoshi to go and wash her up. We would have to leave soon in order for me to get ready back at my hotel room.

I overheard Karrueche telling Chris she was going to the mall in a bit to catch an early bird sale so she was on her way out. As I put Ki in her bubble bath I let her play with some of her toys for a while as I washed her up.

The door opened to the bathroom and in walked Chris, he closed the door behind him.

" Listen Kimiko.." He started.

" I just want to apologize for last night. I shouldn't have said what I said about your mother. I was out of place for that. I was just mad as hell at how you approached the situation." He explained sitting on the toilet seat .

" It's okay Chris. Just don't ever let it happen again." I said without turning to face him.

" Mik , look at me." He sighed while placing his hand underneath my chin, turning me to lock eyes.

" Im sorry. Im sorry for half the s*** I put you through. I love you girl. You have no f***ing idea." He whispered never breaking eye contact.

" No Chris just STOP. Stop telling me you love me , stop telling me your sorry. Be real about your s*** and own up to the fact that your a halfway married man. Just own up to the fact that you have a woman sitting at home with you who apparently has deep feelings for you. Stop stringing me along, because Im NO ONE'S second choice baby." I told him squarely.

" Besides .. " I started.

" This isn't my home anymore, I live in Virginia. I plan on going back as soon as possible."

" You trying to take my daughter away and I just connected with her ?" She searched my eyes for an answer.

" Oh please Chris, don't give me that guilt trip bulls***. Your a freaking SUPERSTAR for God's sake . You can afford to pay for a flight to Virginia whenever your heart desires." I spit out at him.

And that's where I left him.

I dried Kiyoshi off and went into her room to put her on some clothes. When I was done getting her together, I scooped her up, grabbed my keys, and started on the way to the hotel.

I pushed his body off of me and slumped to the floor. I shut my eyes and took a deep breath.

" What the f*** were you thinking " Chris yelled at me as he made his way over to me.

I clenched my fist lifting my head up.

" Get the hell away from me Chris, matter fact where is my child? "

" OUR child is at my house with Kae. " He said as his eyes bore into my face.

" Why the f*** is she with that b**** ?! i swear to god if she puts a finger on my baby-"

" You'll what ?! Walk over there with a f***in' gun and kill her ? What the f*** were you thinking coming over here by yourself. Its bad enough one of my homeboys saw you walk into the building with all these niggas was. Do you know what we would have had to go through if something would've happened to your stupid ass ? You want Kiyoshi to grow up Motherless like you ?! "

I slapped him as hard as I could and walked out of the room.

How dare he. I know I could have thought this s*** out some more but too say some s*** about my mother ? That was a low ass blow.

I got into the car and started the ignition. As I pulled off , Chris came out of the building on his phone approaching his car. Instead of going the way to my hotel . I made a complete turn and headed toward Chris's house.

When I arrived, I got out and walked to the front door. I banged on the front door until this b**** opened it.

"What the hell are you doing here this late?" She asked squinting her eyes at me. It was well after 1:00 A.M .

" Where's my daughter ?" I asked pushing her out the way and entered the house. I walked into the Kitchen and Living room searching for her.

" Kimiko. She's in the bedroom sleeping damnit ." She blew out sternly.

I stormed up the stairs and opened random doors until I found one specifically set up for her. The walls were pink and she had a big bed with a vanity desk and lots of toys in a gigantic toybox. It was fit for a princess.

" Just let her sleep Kimiko. She's been having bad dreams all night . It took me forever to get her down.." Karrueche whispered behind me so as to not wake her.

I sighed heavily and silently closed the door behind me.

" Do you want to sleep in one of the guest bedrooms until the morning ?" She asked me.

I was overwhelmed by her tone. Who the hell was this person? She wasn't being nasty with me or even bitter . In her voice I heard sincerity. I turned around towards her as I felt a tear slide down my face.

" Why are you being so damn nice? I have been nothing but a b**** to you this whole time. " I questioned her confused.

Her eyes soften as she pulled me in for a hug.

" I know that I used to be a real b**** to you too. But truthfully alot of s*** has made me realize that being bitter and mad at people for stupid reasons doesnt make their life miserable, it makes mine. In fact im putting my life on hold, and they're still living as though none of this affects them. Im the only one that suffers." She explained to me and she pulled away from the hug.

I couldnt cope with this new Kae. My feelings were all over the place at this point but the sure feeling I felt was ..

GUILT.

A little while after she allowed me to shower and then showed me the room I would be staying in for the night. I sat in bed looking up at the ceiling as the moon reflected from the window. Downstairs I heard a door open and close and Chris running up the stairs calling for Kae.

" Shh , lower your voice baby their sleeping." She whispered to him from outside the door.

" Why the hell is Kimiko's car out front?" He asked her.

" I allowed her to stay for the night, she looked like she had a lot of stuff on her mind besides its late." She told him.

The rest of the conversation became inaudible as they drifted further and further away from from the door.

I needed someone to console me. I needed someone to kiss me and hold me tight and tell me everything would be alright.

I needed Demitri.

Pulling my snapback lower of my eyes I manuevered my way through the niggas in front of the spot, some gazing at me and others paying me no mind.

" Im here to see Dre. " I spoke gravely.
His eyes roamed over my body and he walked in a circle looking at my backside. I gripped the handle of my gun. I had never in my life shot nor killed someone , but tonight I was on a rampage. I cleared my throat as his eyes traveled back to my face . On his face a smirk appeared as he pushed open the door for me to enter. It was alot of f***ing creeps around here. I walked through the door and was hit by a cloud of smoke. I manuevered my way up the stairs to his office and another body guard was hovering the door. what the f*** , he wasnt God . When I approached this door, the dude onced me over before knocking on the door to the office.

" Boss , we got a b**** out here to see you ." He said gruffily.

I glared at him before hearing Jay's command to " Let her in."

As I walked in, I found him sitting behing his desk with a half naked girl sitting on his lap and two men sitting on lounge chairs. His eyebrow raised and a smirk appeared on his face as he saw me enter.

" Well, well, well. Look at this s*** here." Everyone's eyes turned towards me as I stood in front of the now closed door.

" You killed my fiance you grimy ass b****." I spit out.

He chuckled as he pulled out a cigar preparing to light it. I despised this man, I despised myself for once being with him. I guess it's true what they say .. you dont really know someone until they hurt you. He took a puff and exhaled.

" It's unfortunate the little one was in the car. It would've been great memories" He laughed out loud. This sick b****.

I took my gun out and pointed it at his head and the girl on his lap shrieked. At the same time, his boys pointed theirs back at me. Two against one, great.

" Easy boys, she dont got the balls." He reassured them.

" You sure?" I tilted my head to the side. Without breaking eye contact I pointed the gun at the man nearest to Dre' and pulled the trigger. The bullet piercing into his chest. The adrenaline rushed through my body as I turned quickly to the other man before he could pull the trigger I took a shot at his inner thigh. In the process , the gun falling out his hand. His face scrunched up with pain and he grunted aloud as he lost more blood, a couple of more hours and he would be for sure as dead. I returned the gun back towards Dre'.

" Call all them niggas away now " I said authoratatively as I walked towards him. In the corner was the girl, eyes wide and startled. I chuckled to myself. Why be in this s***, if you couldnt handle the heat?

He smirked again, and pulled out his phone never taking his eyes off me.

" Yo Blood, tell everybody to go home. We done for the day. Everybody." He glared at me ending the call.

" Maybe I was wrong about you, seems to me like I could use you on my team." He grinned showcasing his pearl white teeth. I scoffed . He couldn't be serious could he ? I held the gun out towards him and walked to the window to make sure everyone was gone.

Bad idea.

I turned around only to have myself slammed into the glass. I gasped as I felt air leave my lungs. He stared at me with anger in his eyes, deep inside this nigga was crazy as f***. His hand snaked around my throat and he put more pressure around it. The gun slipped out of my hand as I started to feel light headed. The tears were on the brink of pouring out, but I wouldn't give him the satisfaction.

"You think you tough s*** now ? You think you can run up in my spot with a scrawny ass gun and dead me ? b**** you got your priorities f***ed up." He gritted his teeth as the words spit out his mouth with venom.

He laughed menacingly. " But you know what, right before I kill yo ass, Imma f*** you." He whispered in my ear carressing the side of my face. His hand was still clutched to the side of his face as he picked up the fallen gun and used his hand to unbutton my pants. He kissed me roughly pulling my ponytail. I shut my eyes tightly, wishing I wasn't so damn helpless. he pushed the gun to my head.

" Better yet." He smiled menacingly as his finger pushed back the tiny part at the end of the gun. I prepared for my death. It felt as if time froze and I was replaying every moment of my life. I saw the news of my parents dying I saw Demetri proposing to me, and I saw myself giving birth to Kimiko.

Kimiko ..

My baby, the light of my life. Suddenly this idea of getting revenge didn't seem as great as before. This wasn't what Demetri wouldv'e wanted me to do. But, at this moment all I could think about was the "Now".

As I suddenly prayed to the God up above, I felt the movement of his hand shift.

POP.

.....

Silence.

I couldn't be in heaven. I felt too much pain. When I opened my eyes, I was staring back at a bewildered expression from Dre' , seconds later his body slumped foward onto me smearing my clothes with blood. I was confused, what the hell had happened?

Another gunshot went off as I yelped and flinched. I looked towards the door only to lock eyes with Chris who was pointing his gun at the once alive b**** from earlier.

" Never leave suspects."

Noooo!! My baby gone. That's that s*** I don't like. I can't even be funny right now. I feel for Kimiko, she really probably had NO intention on cheating, damn that Chris. As much as I want them to be together, that s*** was f***ed up, knowing about her and Demitri. Then again, Kimiko is just as bad. Damn SMH, the s*** people do out of vulnerability.
Run it

Omg no my baby demitri he ain't have to get killed I hope she shoot him six times it was so horrible that is bold and right after she told him that she cheated its not right I ain't got nothing else to say I'm mad run it

I felt a light tap from behind me and I looked down to see Kimiko looking up at me.

" Yes baby ?" I asked her kneeling down.

" Meech ?"

I picked her up and kissed her forehead. " He went away hunnie."

"Bye Bye ?"

I smiled a tiny smile and squeezed her tightly.

Things would get better eventually. I knew it .

My phone beagn to ring displaying a call from Ty. " Hey bro, whats's up." I replied answering the phone." Nothing much , how you holdin up ma ?" He asked me back. " I will be fine " I huffed.

Truth was , I was tired of everyone asking me that. I just wanted to isolate myself and Kiyoshi from everyone for a while. But, I knew that I wouldnt be able to do that . I couldnt be selfish again and make hasty decisions that would ultimately affect everyone. I quickly got off the phone telling him that I would call him back later. I had to figure out what to do about Dre' . After being with him for some years, I knew he was not the type of person to go back on his word. I didnt want Chris to get involved because of his career. I reminded myself over and over again that this needed to be done to protect my family.

That's exactly why later that night I found myself dropping Kiyoshi off at Chris's and sitting in my car outside of Dre's old spot. This was where he spent countless days getting his money and drugs right. I would visit him here after classes on some days. I pulled My hair back from my face into a low ponytail placing a snap back. I reached into the glove compartment and pulled out my 9mm caliber silencer. I had previously went out to buy a gun after Demetri was killed. A long time ago Dre' taught me how to shoot a gun fearlessly for emergency purposes. The irony of the student soon becoming the teacher.

I exited the car and proceeded across the street where dealers loitered the front of the spot and a guard stood protectively in front of the very door I need to enter.

Death.

Can anyone really explain what that word means ?

I sat in the front pew of the church next to Metri's mom. She cried her eyes out and muttered " My baby" over and over again. I held he as she grasped my hand tightly. My eyes never moving themselves from the open casket that lay in front of us.

There Demitri Elijah Mason lie.

Embedded onto his face was a peaceful harmonic expression. He was in a better place was the thought that I forced into my head. I learned a long time ago that crying over the loss of your loved ones wouldn't bring them back. Besides, I was all out of tears. As the preacher stood over his lifeless body and prepared his sermon. I reminisced of times we both had shared.

" Stop Demitri ! " I yelled with laughter as he tickled my sides. " Nah Uh Girl , Answer the question!" He stated chuckling right back. I wriggled free from his grasp and ran up the stairs. He asked me to be his girl. Of corse I knew what the answer was but I wanted to play with his head for a few. I hadnt even realized he had snuck up behind me until i felt myself being lifted off the ground and twirled around. I shrieked happily and announced my surrender as he placed me lightly on my feet. I grasped the sides of his face and gave him a blowfish kiss. " Yes Mr. Mason , I will be your girlfriend." He smiled brightly as he hugged me tightly. God I love this boy i thought.

end of flashback.

I small smile fell into the corner of my lips as I thought about the previous times we shared. I would always remember our late night talks. but one in particular I would never forget.

I looked into his light eyes as we laid on the bed with Kiyoshi in between us. My fingers traced the creases on his face and his jawn line. " I wouldnt know what to do if I lost you " I remember saying. He smiled a tiny smile before he spoke." Mik, listen to me. If there ever is a moment where I have to leave or its time fo me to go. I want you to NEVER cry because of it. No matter what the situation is , I will always be with you. In body" He carressed my arm ." In Heart " He pointed to my chest. " and In Mind." He kissed my forehead." Promise me that ?" I promise" I stated closing my eyes in exhaustion.

My finger grazed over his engagement ring that I got fitted and kept on my finger now. I came to the realization that Demetri would always be here. Maybe not in flesh, but in spirit. And to me that was the most powerful.

After the funeral was over and his body had been placed inside the dirt, I stayed long after everyone else had left. I wanted to do all my goodbye's alone.

" Um , Hey Babe. " I chuckled nervously sitting beside his tombstone." I just wanted to let you know that I remember everything that you told me and I know that your not leaving my life. I know that your up there with God working through some of life's kinks. Im sorry how things eneded that day with us. If I could rewind time and change alot of stuff I would do it in a heartbeat but then that would be very selfish of me wouldnt that ?" I smiled lightly. " Remember that time when you slipped and busted your ass when we went ice skating. You kept telling me it was a bad Idea but I wouldnt listen . Or what about that time when you rented that scary movie and I buried my face into your chest the whole time because I just KNEW it was based on a true story." I chuckled to myself.

I talked to him some more before placing the flowers down and promising to come back soon.

" How you holding up ? " Chris asked me as I came to get kiyoshi.

" Im fine ." I stated while picking up kiyoshi's toys to go.

" Um, Listen Kimiko. I promise I had nothing to do with this. I um , actually asked around and found out that the hit was initiated by Dre' himself. Word around the block is that he went through you because he knew that I would get involved." I flinched at the word " hit" . It was used so lightly as if his death was just another casualty in the hood.

" Chris , I know it was Dre' . The only thing I ask of you is to leave it alone. Dont do anything ." He looked at me with confusion but before he could reply I turned on my feet , picked up Kiyoshi and walked out the door.

I would handle all of this on my own.

He pulled out.

I knew not to make the same mistake twice. As he got off of me he pulled me up with him and kissed my tears away. I felt like s***. I cheated on the one man who had given me his all what makes it worse is that it was with a man that just earlier that day I could hardly stand the sight of.

"Oh my god. " The tears gushed out of my eyes .

Caught up in the lust and heat of the situation I let my body take control of me . But this time it was different, because no one hurt me . I hurt him. How the f*** would I face him knowing I had just cheated on him not even a month after him PROPOSING to me . I pushed Chris away from me .

"No ! This was A huge mistake" I yelled with my voice cracking.

“ It wasn’t, I don’t regret a damn thing . " His voice rough with aggravation.

" Chris ... I dont love you." The last few tears fell from my face as I carressed his cheek beforewalking out the door .

I knew this would not be a good outcome but I hoped and prayed all the way home that he would hear me out. When I opened the door to my house I heard my baby squeal my name and come crashing into me.

" Mommy " She smiled up at me .

" Hey baby" I smiled down at her my voice hoarse from crying.

"Hey baby. " I heard him behind me as I stiffened up and he turned me around and kissed my forehead.

"What's wrong ?" He questioned me looking into my eyes . I paused. I couldnt do this. He was damn near perfect. I f***ed up BAD.

" Nothing , Im on my period so im really emotional" I lied wiping my face and chuckling.

He laughed and grabbed me in a hug. He had made food but I told him I wasnt feeling well so I went into the bedroom and took a shower. I scrubbed my body trying to get rid of 'chris' on me. when i got out I curled into a ball on the bed and tried to go to sleep , a little while after I heard the bed creak and Demitri''s arms wrapped around me as he held me.

" I love you " He whisered as he settled in.

More tears came as I layed there and felt them tumble against my nose.

It had been a couple of weeks and things were back to normal. Demitri and I were in love like nobody's business and Kiyoshi was still being a busy body. And No. I still hadnt told him about Chris but I planned to when the time was right. The three of us were at the park and I was watching Demitri push Kiyoshi on the swing while I was sitting.

Stop being so f***ing childish and answer the phone.

Chris had been trying to get in touch with me ever since that day. I ignored the calls and text because I was simply not ready to talk to him. Kiyoshi hadnt seem him since then either. I didnt want him to use her as an excuse to see me.

'Okay then fine be like that but you know you still under the contract and you have to come with me to the charity concert im having in new york. so you cant run forever.'

I read the text in disbelief. s*** ! I forgot all about that contract. Im huffed out loud . I knew I would have to face him soon so might as well do it .

Okay Damnit Chris I get it just send me the info about the trip and I'll be there. I texted back.

I exited off my phone and walked over to where they were to join in with them. I snuck up behind Demitri and covered his eyes while he held Yoshi's swing.

"Guess who it is." I played around .

" Ummm , Meagan Good" He said innocently as I felt the smile approach his face. I gave him a little push and removed my hands as he laughed.

I pouted and took Kiyoshi out her swing.

"You know I was kidding right babe ?" He joke still laughing.

" yeah yeah yeah " I rolled my eyes playfully.

I loved these little special moments we shared . They meant the world to me and I was very appreciative.

" Babe , Chris has a concert that he has to perform at in new york . So I have to be their according to my contract I was thinking all of us could go .." I asked him

He paused and looked to the sky as if he was thinking really hard. I laughed.

"Dont play with me punk !" He laughed and scooped me up hugging me.

Of course I'll go." I smiled and we continued to play with Yosh until the sun started to go down.

When the day finally arrived for us to leave for New York. I started to feel a little nervous. what if Chris told Demitri. I hoped and prayed nothing would get in the way of our relationship.

We arrived into the airport to meet up with Chris and his team.

" Dadaaa ! " Kiyoshi waddle over to him as soon as she saw him.

He smiled big as he scooped he up in his arms and hugged her tightly.

" Hey baby , " He exclaimed looking over his shoulder as he Demitri and I walked over to them. I latched on to his hand as we walked. I hoped that Chris got the message.

" Wassup Man " Demitri stuck his hand out to dap Chris as he stared down blankly at it. My eyes pleaded at him to not act like that towards him. After what felt like forever , Chris dapped him back and smirked.

" Sup " He said nonchalantly as he turned around with Kiyoshi in his arms and walked towards the shuttle.

When we got on the plane Chris and them were nowhere near us and Kiyoshi the daddy's girl she was decided to sit with Chris the whole flight.

When we reached NY we were driven to our hotel and got settled in.

"Going to the Mercury Lounge with the crew gonna swing Kiyoshi by my Mom's house . You Coming ?"

I received a text from Chris. s*** . I know that I should go because walking around here all suspicious and s*** wasn’t helping anything.

‘ alright ‘ I texted him back. Kiyoshi was already in Chris’s hotel room so I suppose he was gonna drop her off in a second. I told Demitri about all of us going out and he was all for it. So later that night after we had all gotten dressed and Kiyoshi was meeting her grandmother for the first time, we settled into the car and started on our way to the club. When we got there, we went straight up into VIP and when I walked into the door I heard a loud squeal.

“ b****hhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I missed you Hoe ! How the f*** you just gonna leave like that! I should beat your too pretty ass ! “ I heard nikki scream as I turned around and locked eyes with her . I smiled brightly and hugged her warmly.

“ Im sooo sorry , a lot of s*** went down and I just needed to get my life together.” I said glancing at Chris.

“ b**** don’t think I didn’t know . Where you find them at ?"She asked me .

“ Find what? “

“The balls to burn that nigga house down .” She laughed loudly. I swear I loved her crazy ass.

I scanned the room and noticed Ty for the first time looking at me from the lounge couch. His face held no expression as I walked over to him.

“ Can I sit here ?” I asked him. He scooted over some never saying one word to me.

“ Listen Ty , im soo sorry about leaving like that its just that I was dealing with al-“

“No goodbye , you switched your number, no way to get into contact with you . you were like f***ing family to me . You don’t know the s*** I thought had happened to you.” He spoke gravely never once looking at me. I lifted his chin towards me.

“ Look, I know I was wrong for leaving the wy I did. But I had every right to make my own decisions I apologize so much about not keeping contact. But I realized my mistakes and I promise you I wont be losing contact ever again.”

He hugged me tightly and a grin appeared on his face.

“ Yo ass better not” he chuckled before hugging me again.

“ so whats been going on sis “ he asked me as we all sat down at a table and ordered food.

“ well .. Im engaged .” I smiled big grabbing hands with Demitri I could see Chris rolling his eyes and continuing conversation with one of his dancers.

“ Yooo my nigga!” Ty congradulated us and dapped demitri up while nikki was mini screaming.

“ Omg , Mik yo ass getting married ! I better be the maid of f***ing honor ! “ she yelled over the music laughing.

“That’s not all .. I have a daughter .”

Ty’s head jerked up and Nikki yelled out a prolonged 'whaaaaat '.

“ I got a niece , aye congrats again nigga ! “ as he was about to dap Mitri again chris spoke.

“ That’s my child nigga “ He interjected. Nikki and Ty let out confused glances and then after awhile they understood.

“ Ohhh s*** “ They both said at the same time before chuckling . I laughed along with them and soon enough the waiter came to order our food.

"Where’s Koochie Chris ?” Nikki asked innocently .

“ You know that aint her name and she’s in Italy modeling for a couple weeks. “ he glared back at her.

I almost choked on my water. That b**** models ? What part of her body is model material ? Her hand ? Nikki looked over at me at the same time and we both busted out laughing. We were thinking the same damn thing.

When we returned to the hotel from the Lounge . Things got a little hot between Demitri and I and we ended up having sex.

As I moaned in his ear he spoke to me softly. “ I love you “ he whispered. I tensed up and he caught on told me to relax as he stroked me slowly .

I was guilty because those were the same exact words Chris said when we had sex. I had to tell him.

The next morning I lay in bed restless from the previous sleepless night of sex. I felt bad and I had decided to just get it over with and tell him what had happened. When he woke up he smiled over at me and said “ Good morning fiance “

Tears began to spill out my eyes.

“ whats wrong bae ?” he asked me with concern.

“ mitri I have something to tell you .” I mubled with stiffened cries. He sat up and prepared himself.

“ a couple of weeks ago I … I slept with chris . baby I am so sos o so oso sorry it was a huge mistake.” I blurted out as the tears continued to pour down my face.

His face turned cold and he didn’t speak for a long time. But when he did speak, it was nothing nice.

“ you had me sitting and smiling in that nigga face knowing yall f***ed ?” he asked me in disbelief.

“ Im sorry that was never supposed to happen ! “ I tried pleading with him clutching onto his arm as he rose to get out of the bed. Again, he grew silent and stared down at me with hatred and sadness.

“ I love you so f***ing much kimiko and no matter how much I wanna hate you right now I cant . but as for us.. we need a break to get my head in order.” He replied and right before exiting the hotel room he slid his engagement band off his finger and laid it on the nightstand. As the door closed behind him, I cried heavily.

It had been about 4 days since Demitri left , until we went back to Virginia he had bought another hotel room at a different hotel and today he was coming to take kiyoshi for ice cream. As I was getting Yoshi ready someone knocked at the door. When I went to open it , Demitri was standing on the other side. I downcasted my eyes and opened the door a little wider.

“ Is she ready ?” he asked me.

“ almost “ I mumbled as I put the finishing touches on kiyoshi’s outfit. When I was done demetri picked her up and walked to the door.

“WAIT! kiss mommy?” she asked demetri and I tensed up.

“no baby that’s ok-“ I started to say . but in midsentence demetri walked over and kissed my cheek gently "I love you" He whispered, and they walked out the door.

Switching to 3rd person.

Demetri and kiyoshi were had just came from the park after getting their ice cream and it had gotten dark sodemetri picked kiyoshi up and carried her back to the car. The streets were empty and it was hardly anyone out. After he had placed her in the car seat he walked around to the other side to get in. before he could a car pulled up and yelled out through the window.

“ send my best wishes to kimiko nigga “ the voice spoke harshly before a loud POP rang out.

In the meantime kimiko was sitting in the hotel room lonely wondering what was taking kiyoshi and demetri so long. She channel surfed although finding nothing interesting to watch on tv so she settled on the news.

BREAKING NEWS A YOUNG MAN WAS KILLED NEAR THE HUNTINGTON PARK AND RECREATION CENTER IN DOWN TOWN NEW YORK. WITH HIM WAS A TWO YEAR OLD CHILD LYING IN HIS VEHICLE. LOCAL WITNESSES APPROACHED THE SCENE MINUTES AFTER THE SHOOTING AND CALLED THE AUTHORITIES questions are being asked .. Where is exactly is this child’s mother ?

A live video feed was shown and I saw a huge crowd of people and demetri’s car as my baby cry was heard in the background.

“Oh God !” I screamed aloud .

Really Kimiko, really?? You just gon let him make love to you. What about Demitri, oh wait...Obviously you weren't even thinking about him. "Uh, I couldn't push him off, he was love to me!" No!!! You should've pushed his ass off before he started making love to you. You are something else, you know that. Demitri is a great man. Smh, get yo s*** TOGETHER!!
Run it

Aw damn smh she shouldn't have done that and demitri is a great guy to her and her baby
Run it!

Yes ! Yes! Yes!" I jumped up out of my seat as tears sprang from my eyes.

He got up and slid the ring onto my finger as He kissed me softly and lifted me off the ground. All around the restaurant applause began. I was so emotional because i felt as though no one had ever shown me love like Demitri had. Kiyoshi and I were being loved and taken care of like we should. I was on top of the world.

After we left the restaurant , we decided to go to his house because it was closer. All of us got into the bed and cuddled like one big happy family. I watched as Kiyoshi fell asleep, and felt Demetri's hands wrap around my waist.

" I love you" he whispered as I turned around to come face to face with him. I closed my eyes as my finger traced his faced. He grabbed my hand and kissed it .

"What are you doing?" he asked me .

"Remembering everything about you." I whispered as I fell deeper into sleep.

When I woke up the next day they both were still sleeping so I got up and went to prepare breakfast for my little family. My face was permanently etched with happiness . I had a glow that no one could bring down. I was loving life.

I planned to cook eggs, pancakes, sausages, bacon, grits, and french toast. I loved to cook, for a while I had been thinking of going back to school to become a chef. Interrupting my thoughts, I heard tiny little feet hitting the floor and when I turned around I saw a yawning Kiyoshi with her curls all spread out on the top of her head. I chuckled at her appearance .

" Morning baby " I exclaimed to her.

" HI Mommy " She said smiling and reaching for me to pick her up.

I picked her up and sat her in her high chair so I could make our plates . After I made them I put them all on the food tray and carried them to the bedroom.

"Wake up Uncle Meesh!" Ki yelled patting him on his chest. He opened his eyes and stretched.

" Hey baby girl " He said in his morning voice, getting up and looking over to me smiling with the tray sitting on the nightstand.

" Good Morning Husband " I said .

" Good Morning too you. But We gotta get married first baby . " He chuckled and kissed me cupping my ass.

" Stop Mitri, and come on before the food gets cold." I squealed and backed away.

"Sexy Ass " He smirked walking away as I laughed.

It had been almost two weeks and I was in the studio creating the song with Chris. We had been getting along pretty well since he'd been bonding with Kiyoshi. This was the first time we had been here alone and without Kiyoshi somewhere nearby but today she was with the sitter. He eyed my ring and his face scrunched up.

" Nice ring." He stated with an edge in his voice.

I smiled when he mentioned it because Demitri came to mind. " Thank you."

" Who's the lucky guy?"

Lucky? Was that a compliment from Chris ? Nahh .

" Demitri .." I replied.

"That nigga that used to chill with Ty ? The one you were at the club with ?" He questioned .

" Yes He's My Fiance. Problem ? Because last time I checked you were getting married too." I asked him getting an attitude and standing up.

" You hardly know this nigga and you gonna marry him ? You gonna have him around Kiyoshi like that !?" His voice started to raise as he stood up and walked over to me.

" Chris I could say the same thing about Karreuche ! He was there when you werent . He's more of a father than you wouldve been a year ago. He cares about Kiyoshi like she's his." I spit out furiously.

He slammed his hands on the walls blocking me in the corner and I flinched.

" You dont f***ing Get It. " He sighed heavily his eyes boaring into my face.

"I f***ing Felt for you. You were starting to grow on me, but I just wasnt good with that affection s*** okay !? I wasnt. That's why I brought girls and s*** around. I didnt want my baby having a father like me because I never had one to rely on. I know that wasnt an excuse to tell you to abort her but I did. You don't no half the s*** I went through." He clenched his jaw as silent tears ran down his face. He grunted and furiously wiped the tears away.

I couldn't deal with this. I sure as hell never expected Chris to actually have feelings for me. He never ever once showed them. The f*** was I supposed to think ? I had never seen him them vunerable before so without thinking I grabbed the sides of his face and kissed him. When I realized what I had done I jumped back and covered my mouth with my hand.

" Oh my god. Im so sorry " I exlaimed embarrassed.

He approached me and kissed me deeply.

" Its aight Ma " He retorted.

We continued kissing and ended up on the lounge couch with him on top of me. I cursed myself for wearing a skirt today. He pulled out his d*** and lifted up my skirt pushing my panties to the side. When he entered me I gasped. I hadnt had sex in about a month because of Kiyoshi always being around Demtiri and I.

Chris pumped in and out of me as I moaned lowly.

" Say My name Mik " He whispered in my ear.

I couldnt utter his name. I didn't want to give him the satisfaction. But with every stroke he continued to go deeper to the point where he forced it out of me.

" Chrisssssssss! " I yelled as he picked up the pace. With my nails digging into his shirt, he carressed my face and looked into my eyes the whole time. I had a feeling this wasnt just sex to Chris and it worried the hell out of me.

" Kimiko I Love You "

That's when I knew that Chris wasnt just having sex with me .

He was making love to me .

Chris looked from Yoshi to me and then back again at her.

"What's wrong daddy ?" She asked him tilting her head to the side in confusion.

He flinched at the word but in his eyes I could see remorse as he kneeled down and looked at her.

"What's your name baby ?" He asked her tenderly.

" Kiyoshi " She said shyly while giggling and covering her hands over her face.

He got up and looked over at me coldly .

" Tomorrow , meet me at the Mcdonalds across the street at 4:00."

He knelt back down and picked her up.

"Daddy, has to go but Im gonna see you tommorow okay ?" He asked her .

She was ecstatic as her cheeks rose from smiling so hard.

"Pwomise ?" She replied back.

Into her eyes he stared. I knew in my heart that he knew he couldnt deny that she was his child. That's what killed him, because there was no longer any where to hide. He had to face the facts just like I had to. Sure. He might hate me more now. But, Kiyoshi ? He would love her until the end.

" I promise Yosh" He kissed her cheek and put her down walking straight out of the room with an estranged Tina running after him.

" Mommy, I see Daddy !" She exclaimed happily.

And, that was the moment I knew that she was no longer a Mommy's Girl, but officially a Daddy's girl.

When we arrived home, I fixed dinner and put Kiyoshi to bed. That night I recieved a call from Demitri, and we talked about today's events.

"It was awful. He totally hates me more now than ever. But Kiyoshi ADORES him." I rambled on.

After a few minutes of more talking on my part I realized I hadnt let Demitri get a word in since we had been on the phone.

" OMG , Im sorry baby , how was your day?" I asked sincerely.

"Eh. It was alright. But I was thinking maybe we three could go to dinner after you guys meet with Breezy." He said.

" Yes, that sounds like a plan."

After a little more conversation, I grew sleepy and we ended the call.

The next day we met Chris at Mcdonald's and I ordered some french fries for Kiyoshi to nibble on as she played in the kiddie park there.

"Sooo .." I started as we sat at a table watching Kiyoshi play.

" I have a daughter. That you never even thought to tell me about , even though I specifically told you t-" I cut him off.

" Told me to what Chris ? Abort It ?! Look into YOUR child's eyes and tell me that this wasnt a good idea. That she shouldnt have ever been born ! " I harshly whispered.

If looks could kill I would have been 6 feet under.

" Do I regret her now ? No. I have changed a lot since ' Breezy ' Im going to man up and take care of my responsibilites. But, you ain't an angel either ! I had to live in a f***ing hotel until the damages could be repaired ! I lost a lot of f***ing merchandise inside that house." He spit out words with venom.

" Pain Is Priceless."

Later That Night.

Me and Ki were getting ready to go to dinner with Demitri. This was well needed because I was becoming stressed as the days carried on. When we met up at the restaurant we started off with our entrees and moved on to desert.

"What would you like for dessert Ma'am?" The waiter asked me . But before I could answer Demitri cut me off.

" She wants the special" He said as the waiter nodded and walked off. I gave Mitri the side eye.

" What was that about ?" I asked him.

"Cant a man order for his lady once in a while ?" He joked around. I chuckled and shook my head.

" You ready Yoshi ?" He asked her .

She smiled really big and went to sit on his lap as they both looked at me, Demitri whispered into Kiyoshi's ear.

" Mommy, Uncle Meesh loves you alot you are da bestest thing to us.. he wants to spend the wholeeeee life wiff you ." She said as she did the cutest facial expression and strecthed her arms wide. He whispered in her ear again.

" Soooo Mommy , will you PWEASE marry us ?" She asked innocently just as the waiter came back and sat the dessert plate down with the most gorgeous engagement ring sitting on the plate.

Time stood still. Aint this a f***ing coincidence.

" Hello? Ms. Harris are you still there?" Tina Davis asked me.

"Yes, Im still here and please call me Kimiko" I spoke back.

There wasnt any need to be an a**hole to this lady just because I couldnt stand the sight of Chris.

" Uhm, Im sorry Ma'am but I'm going to have to decline your offer."

"Aww" She replied with a hint of sadness in her voice.

" I heard you were a fantastic writer so I figured I would try to book you. I know you must be a very busy woman. May I ask why not ?"

"Personal reasons" I mumbled back at her.

" Okay well if you have a change of heart. please feel free to call me back."

I threw her a quick okay and hung up.

That wouldnt be happening.

I walked back to the kitchen where Demitri was getting ready to fix our plates.

" Baby tell me why Tina Davis just contacted me, Chris's manager . Asking me to write a song with him."

" And you said yes right ?" He asked.

" Hell no ! you know what he put me through !" I said as my voice raised an octave. I know I was being sort of a b**** but I was getting upset just thinking about.

" I know but for once you and Breezy need to stop thinking of yourselves. Kiyoshi is both of you guys child, whether he knows it or cares. shedeserves to know and see who and what kind of man her father is ."

I took all that he had just sad into consideration because deep down inside i knew he was right.

" I know I know" I huffed as we began to eat.

The next day we decided to take Kiyoshi to a kiddie park for her to enjoy. Demitri was still at work so Kiyoshi and i got ready until he got off.

" Mommy ?" She asked me.

" Yes sweetie." I asnwered her back while i was picking out her clothes.

" I see daddy soon ?" I turned around with a swiftness and stared back at her bewildered.

" Um , soon sweetie." I looked at her sincerely . "soon"

she nodded her head and smiled real wide and i shook my head. I loved my daughter and she had a lot of sense for a one year old. when mitri finally arrived we left for the park. when we got there she wanted to ride ALL of the little kiddie rides. so we started to purchase the tickets for her. after a couple of rides i grew tired so i sat on a bench while demitri took yoshi to a ride nearby. I watched them interact as yoshi talked to him about something incoherent. he listened carefully and knew the right times to smile or laugh or frown up. I could tell he cared for her deeply. That was a reason why i didnt want to help chris wih his album. what if he sees her and doesnt want anything to do with her? what if he shrugs her off as if she doesnt matter ? it would crush her and she definitely wouldnt understand why he was acting that way. But she did deserve to know and to hell with chris's decisions , he was going to be apart of her life or look her right into her big brown eyes and tell her that he didnt want her. i knew how being parentless felt, and it was a good feeling at all. i missed mine every passing day.

i pulled out my phone and dialed the number i had recieved.

" Hey Ms. Davis, i was calling to see if the offer was still available ?"

" Yes it sure is. " She exclaimed happily, we arranged to meet the next day to start on the song.

"Is it okay if I bring my daughter?" I asked her reluctantly.

" Oh sure ! it would be a pleasure."

"great" I stated hanging up.

The next day i got dressed and found some clothes for kiyoshi to put on. I was nevous as hell about meeting chris but i knew this was something that had to be done. when we got there I met Ms. Davis.

She was a chocolate complexioned middle aged woman that looked to be in her mid thirty's at the most.

" Hello Ms. avis Im Kimiko and this is my daughter Kiyoshi. Say hi baby " I told her.

Kiyoshi played the part of the little shy girl as she hid behind my leg peeking glimpses at her.

"aww, she's adorable . and please call me tina " she asked of me .

We walked through the studio doors and inside was a big conference like table whereid guessed we were supposed to create the song.

"okay so chris should be here shortly although i dont think he knows exactly he will be working with . but im sure he will be ecstatic to find out that its one of the best writers out now." she exclaimed happily.

Ha. I highly doubt that.

I got settled in as Tinatook kiyoshi on a quick tour of the building and left me too my thoughts. a few minutes later I heard a voice approaching talking on the phone loudly.

" Naw man , I need that done today. The award show is coming up and I need to have all the sound check and s*** okay."

I heard him.

The voice I hadnt heard in over a year was left than a foot away from me. I started to become a little nervous.

"Alright man just have it do-" He stopped abruptly as he stared back at me from the door entrance. After a long while he spoke.

"The f*** Are you doing here ?!" He yelled.

" Hello to you too Chris or rather Breezy " I said as I cast my eyes downward.

" b**** you f***ing burned my house down dont think i forgot that s***." He lowered his voice to a harsh whisper.

The chris that I saw on television was back, this time I saw Breezy from New York.

I flinched .

" I worked hard for that damn house and then you just up and left ! " He ranted on as his voice began to raise once more.

but before I could speak Tina came back with Kiyoshi. Chris didn't see kiyoshi until she walked up behind him and tugged on his pants leg .

" Daddy mad at mommy ? "

Thanks Girl (: RUNS .

Ohhh s***!!! He got a soon to be wifey now. I hope she isn't jealous, that can ruin her relationship with Demitri and I like him for her. Oh, go CHRIS!! I hope she takes the offer too.
Run it

Oh my God.

" Mommy, daddy?" Kiyoshi repeated once more.

Demitri had came from the kitchen to see what was happening.

" Earth to Mik" he playfully replied while looking at weirdly.

I came from my startled state and focused in on what was happening around me.

Wait.

Pause.

Was that Chris ? On BET ?

" I just saw Chris on 106 and Park " I said stunned.

" The f*** outta here ?" Mitri laughed confused.

" I cant believe this s***, how the hell do you go from a drug dealer to a super star ? Ughh ! " I yelled to no one in particular.

" Ooh mommy said bad word." Yoshi cooed while bringing her hand to cover her mouth in shock. She ran from the living room.

I sat down and waited for 106 and Park to come back on from the commercial and a million thoughts ran through my head. Demitri sat next to me and nudged my shoulders.

" Kimiko , there may be a good explanation but then again there may not. But, bottom line is you cant let this s*** get to you or let Ki see you upset." He reasoned with me.

Kiyoshi returned back again and this time she dragged an item with her.

" Ki what you doing with that chair ?" Mitri smirked at her.

" Uncle Meech , mommy said baaaaaad word. She time out ?" She asked him innocently.

We busted out laughing as I swooped her up and tickled her sides. She shrieked with laughter and tried to break free from my grasp. A few minutes later 106 came back on and sure enough there Chris was with some expensive ass sneakers on, a letter man jacket, and a black snapback .

Inside I was seething. How dare he not even have an ounce of remorse as he stood on that stage playing around with rocsi and terrence as if I hadnt even pushed his child out of my f***ing vagina alone.

" So we are here with the ever talented Chris Brown." Rocsi read the teleprompter as the audience cheered loudly.

" Now it's come to our attention that you just finished up you FAME tour, correct ? Tell us a little bit about that." Terrence asked .

" Yep yep, well it was great. I went through some amazing cities and the fans kept everything alive. Performing on that stage, I could feel the energy from each and every attendant in the showcases and I just fed off of there attitudes and made some incredible performances happen."

Looking at Chris through the television I sensed something I had never seen from him ever : Compassion.

"That has to be an incredible feeling right there man." terrence commented.

" Now speaking of an incredible feeling, everyone has been dying to know if the rumor about you proposing to your girlfriend Karreuache Tran is true or false."

Chris started to chuckle and played around a bit yelling " PASS ! " as he laughed. " Naw, Ima let it be known on 106 and Park for the first time that I did propose to Kae and she did say YES. Im happy, she's happy. And she is the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with." He then jumped from his seat and ran toward the nearest camera. as it showed a close up of his face he said " I LOVE YOU KAE" and began to make kissy faces all over the cam.

The camera switched back to Terrence and Rocsi laughing.

" And there you have it folks , our boy Chris Brown is getting hitched! Tune in tomorrow for our crazy Freestyle Friday Rap Battle where our reigning champion GuttaBoy goes up against his opponent RhymeScheme. " Rocsi noted as the number 1 video began to play.

I sat there on the couch for the longest letting everything just sink in properly. How the hell did I go a year and some months without not once hearing about Chris becoming famous? And what makes it worse is that I have heard a few of his songs on the radio but I never put two and two together to come up with this explanation.

My Dumb Ass .

My phone rung and I picked it up to reveal an unknown number.

" Hello." I answered.

" Hi, is this Kimiko Harris ?" The person asked.

" This is she ."

" Hello Kimiko, This is Tina Davis. Chris Brown's Manager. I was calling to see if it was possible for you to create a song with Mr. Brown for his next album Fortune."

" Call me as soon as you make it okay ? " Demitri said to me as I dragged my my luggage behind me towards the airplane entrance.

I nodded my head as I looked at him .

" I promise." I whispered as my eyes started to water.

" Ah Miko don't cry, as soon as I finish school I will be down there with you." He promised as his hazel eyes stared into mine.

" I know, I know. It's these damn hormones!" I said chuckling and wiping my face off .

He tilted my head up and kissed me gently as I wrapped my hands around his neck. He lifted me off the ground and spun me around.

" Put me down boy! " I shrieked laughing. He chuckled as he let me go.

" Flight 231 Nonstop to Virginia Now Boarding " The announcer spoke through the intercom.

" I guess that's us " I repied rubbing my belly.

He laughed and rubbed my belly too.

" Kimiko I love you . " He said for the first time as he stared at me.

I blushed and caressed the side of his face.

" I love you too"

" AYO , SHE SAID IT BACK ! " He yelled out. Some people started to laugh and clap for him .

I shook my head laughing as I turned around towards the plane portal.

A year and 6 months later.

A lot had changed for the better since I moved from New York. When I first came to Virgina I had only saved up for a one bedroom apartment, but luck had it and I started writing songs, got in touch with a few agents and now celebrities are actually starting to buy my songs. I live in a four bedroom apartment and I am actually the happiest I have been in a long time .

" Baby, the food's almost done !" He yelled from the kitchen.

Demetri.

My Heart. He kept his promise and came to see me when he was finally finished with school. Once he arrived we made it official and he found a nice paying job down here and a nice house. We have been together for 7 months and 2 weeks. And I could tell he loved our little family.

Yes. Kiyoshi Milan Brown. My little girl weighed 6 pounds 13 ounces and was 19 inches long when she was born. She was the light of my life and a spitting image of her mommy.

Did she know about her dad ? Yes, I had showed her a picture or two of him. She had asked about him a few times, and it had always tore me up when I couldn't give her a direct answer. She was very familiar with Demitri, she called him Uncle Meech. He shook his head every time but he loved her too.

I went into the kitchen where Demitri was turned towards the stove making something and Yoshi was sitting in her high chair playing with a toy.

" Mmm , Smells good Babe . what are you making ?" I asked as I took Kiyoshi out of her seat and sat her in my lap.

" Chicken Alfredo." He replied turning around towards me.

I loved this man so much. He was perfect for me and I couldn't seem to understand why he chose me out of every other eligble women that he could have. He was sexy as hell. He was a gentleman. And good with kids.

Yoshi started to squirm so I put her down and she ran into the family room to watch TV.

" Mitri why are you so perfect?" I asked him as he continued to cook.

" Im not Mik, Im far from it. But I learned that life is a precious thing and not everyone gets to experience all the components of it, such as love and family. I want you to know that not every nigga out there is a player or an a**hole. And when I first saw you at that club I knew that you were the women I wanted to spend my life with. And one day I will marry you ." He stared into my eyes as he caressed my hand.

" You just want me to straddle you in this damn kitchen don't you " I whispered playfully as he laughed at my remark.

" I love yo-"

" Mommy ! " Kiyoshi yelled interrupting us.

"Yes HunnieBunch" I laughed walking into the living room.

" Mommy, Daddy ?" She questioned looking at the TV.

And there Chris was bright as day, on 106 park. Introducing a new song ?

What The Hell .

'Abort It'

Those words continued to repeat inside my head as I stood in the center of his room stunned as he walked back downstairs.

That breaking point.

The one where you finally snap as if you've lost your marbles. The one where you are tired of crying and feeling sorry for yourself. The one where if any motherf***er makes you mad, you unleash every past hurt on them times 10.

I had reached that point.

No tears were left inside my body. My face held no expression as I walked into my bedroom and started packing all the clothes I had left up. I called Demitri. The one person that would rescue me right about now.

" Whats up Miko ?" He answered the phone. I could hear the sleep in his voice.

" Hey Boo, sorry to wake you up. But, I really need you to come get me .. please." I asked him sincerely.

" Im on my way. " He replied as he hung up the phone.

I went into chris's room and grabbed what I needed. I turned around and came face to face with myself as I stared back into the mirror. Pain was evident and hurt was displayed. But vengence was crawling to the surface. Picking up my phone, I dialed one last number.

" 911 , where's your emergency ? "

" 1537 EastRidge Place. There's a fire."

I hung up the phone as I struck two matches and tossed it on his bed.

I smirked to myself as I stood and watched the flames began to ignite over the sheets.

I recieved a text from Demitri .

' Im outside Mik. '

I turned around and walked out and down the stairs. When I reached the front door I took a look around and locked eyes with Karrueche. I winked at her as I grinned mischeivously and opened the door.

" You smell that ? " I heard someone ask as I closed the door behind me. I chuckled and approached Demitri's car to get in.

" You alright ? " He questioned me as he started down the road .

" I'll be fine. " I murmured closing my eyes.

With the quietness of the city streets , I could hear the faint sound of the sirens near.

With a personal mental message stored inside my head. The only thought that remained ...

' I hope he rots in hell '

I love this story!! Kimiko seems cool as f***, Chris really who's f***ing daddy are you. Not her's, she can keep the baby and be good with or without yo deadbeat ass. I hope she tells Nikki about her being pregnant and about her moving. Smh, I bet s*** is so confusing to her now.
Run it

Demitri is such a sweetheart I live him and Chris is a ahole how dare he tell her to abort the baby that is just wrong I can't believe it it's so mean and cruel killing a baby is not the answer he should have gave inconsiderate bastard and I hope she doesn't move it really won't fix her problems

Run It.

Karreuche was his new girlfriend now.

Well at least I think so. She was the only he brought in front of the boys and she stayed after the sex which was weird considering Chrisnever let them spend the night.

I personally don't like her because of her attitude. Anyone could clearly see she was intimidated by the fact that I stayed in the house with him. So whenever she got the chance she would shoot me stank glares like I Gave a Fuccck. But what the b**** fails to know is that I could give two additional f***s about her attitude. I have been through SO much that all the built up fustration is screaming to come out. And trust me when I tell you , if I ever get to that point, I will aim to kill a b****. Not leave a few scratches and scars.

I was starting to show now, and I feared that someone would start to put two and two together. I had long since quit my job. I loved to work but I was drained emotionally. Demitri has been helping me the whole step of the way. Everything that I needed he got for me. I loved the attention, but I hated to depend on others. Which is another reason why I have been searching for a new place to stay with the money I had saved up. No one knows that Im planning on moving out of Chris's house except for Demitri.

The reason is because I have decided to leave New York.

I need a fresh start. I need to just get rid of all the stress and prepare myself for the baby inside of me. Yes. I have decided to keep it, I had sc heduled a doctors appointment for the next week because it would mark the one month period. I would never kill my child because of the s*** that's going on in my life. I didnt want to tell anyone that I planned on leaving because they would only try to give me a million and one reasons why I should stay.

I wanted to leave soon, so I planned on telling Chris about me being pregnant when he came back from the club tonight, hopefully he wouldnt have any "Guests".

There I lay cuddled up in my blanket watching some show on TV , it had to be a little past 2 AM. I heard the front door opening downstairs and a lot of laughter.

I walked down the stairs to see who was all down there as I saw at least 15 people assemble in the living room. When I entered I could smell the scent of a black and Mild somewhere nearby as they turned some music on to boom out the speakers.

As My eyes travled across the faces of people that I had never seen before. I spotted Chris with Karreuche sitting on his lap.

" Surprise, Surprise." I muttered as I rolled my eyes while walking towards them .

"Chris" I spoke as I stood in front of them.

His eyes fluttered open a little more from the droopy state they were already in. I could tell that he was high.

"Wassup" He spoke cooly.

" Can I talk to you alone really quick ?" I asked him as I felt Karreuche's eyes bore my face without hesitation.

" What the f*** for?" She demanded with an attitude.

" Listen Bit-" I yelled as I raised my hand.

" Chill out Ma " He chuckled as he squeezed her side and kissed her cheek while getting up.

" Come on . " He orded me while ushering me through the party .

We found ourselves upstairs in his bedroom as he sat on the edge of the bed as I stood in front of him ready to get this over with .

" I dont really know how to say this , so Im just gonna come right out .. " I started as I looked down at my hands playing with my fingers.

He just looked at me , giving me the silent nod to continue.

"Chris .. Im pregnant." I blurted out nervously.

It felt as though time stood still after those words came out my mouth. After a long while he smiled a little to himself and reached out to rub my stomach. I grinned back at him as his eyes stared at the center of my belly.

" You . Pregnant ?" He asked bewildered.

" Yes" I replied back nodding my head.

In two short words he chose our fate.

" Abort It. "

He rubbed my belly once more before heading out the door leaving me standing there stunned.

It had been a couple of weeks and Chris was still mad at. Damn could he hold a grudge. I had been seeing a lot of Demetri but he stuck by his word and we remained "close" friends. He was a great listener and a gentlemen but then again he wasn't from around these parts he was from Georgia so I could understand his humble personality. He was in his last year of college and basically an all around great guy.

I gagged into the toilet bowl. This was my 3rd time throwing up today. Me and Demitri were going to go to see a movie tonight. I would have to call him to cancel.

"Hey Meech." I breathed into the phone as I looked in the bathroom mirror.

" Hey Miko, what's wrong ?" He asked me carefully.

" I don't think im going to make it too the movies my stomach is killing me ." I replied back groggily.

" Im on my way." He said before he hung up the phone.

I swear I loved this dude.

When he arrived , he brought me some PeptoBismol and a little bear with big eyes that said ' Get Well Soon ' I had to laugh becaus he was so corny sometimes.

“ Aw , thanks babes “ I exclaimes as I started for the kitchen.

He sat there with me as I took the medicine .

Soon after he had made it clear that he wasn't going to leave me, we decided to go to the nearest fast food restaurant to settle the medicine on my stomach . We decided on Wendy's and I sat at the table while he ordered our food. I put my head down . I felt terrible, what the hell was wrong with me? Demitri walked to the table with the food in his hands and sat down just as I rushed to the bathroom to hurl.

"You sure your alright Miko ?" He asked as I came back to eat.

" Yeah , I just haven't been feeling good lately . I think I might be coming down with something." He looked at me intently as I began opening the wrapper to my burger.

" What ? " I asked him. I was becoming agitated at his stares.

" Nothing, its just .. maybe your pregnant ."

I busted out laughing . " Me ? Pregnant ? No " I chuckled at his crazy thought.

Pregnant . Of course not besides I haven't had sex with anyo-

"Oh s***! " I blurted out in realization as my facial expression dropped. " chris." I whispered to myself.

" Its chris isnt it?" he asked as he stared at me with a blank face.

I shut my eyes and flinched at his name. I put my head in my hands and sighed deeply.

" Listen.. " he started as he reached out to grab my hands.

" I will support whatever decision you decide to have. Im not gonna walk away and leave you . I promise. " He said sincerely as his hazel eyes looked deep inside of me.

After we finished our food silently . He took me to the nearest drugstore so I could purchase a pregnancy test, then we drove back to the house.

I sat on the toilet seat as I stared down at the big red POSTIVE sign on the little white stick.

I was definitely pregnant.

" so what are you going to do? " Demitri asked me as we laid on the couch in the living room watching a movie.

" Im going to tell Chris, he deserves to know. " He kissed my forehead and I snuggled closer to him.

When I woke up I was in a now dark living room and alone. I checked my phone to see one missed call from Nikki . A text from Ty and another text From Mitri. I made a mental note to call nikki later on and I replied back to Ty. When I opened the message from Demitri, it read :

Hey beautiful, You were sleeping so peacefully that I didnt want to wake you. I hope while your reading this you know that all Im thinking about is you. I hope everything goes alright with chris. call me if you need me . Peace - Demitri .

I smiled as I closed the text and got off the couch . As I was leaving the living room, the front door opened and I saw Chris .

" Hey Chris can we ta- " Before I could get the rest of the sentence out, a short asian looking chick walked in closing the door behind her.

" nevermind. " I mumbled as I went up to my room.

It started again. The only difference is this girl was louder than the first one. It was like at every pump she would scream Bloody Mary.

I curled up in my covers and cried harder than I had ever cried in my life.

Boom. Squeak . Moan.

I had been laying in the same spot in my bed for some time now listening as some chick screamed Chris's name over and over again.

Hurt couldn't describe my feelings . I was pissed.

I know me and Chris weren't together but respect is what I deserved. Sex wa sn't something that I just did with whoever, and now I was embarrassed to say I did it with Chris.

He probably was still upset with me about Demitri, but this was my so-called punishment ?

But one in particular caught my attention. He had on a fitted snap back pulled low over his caramel complexion, from the introduction I now understood that his name was Demitri. This man was fresh as f*** with his jean jacket and brand new Jordans on his feet, somehow I was drawn to him and his mysterious aura. I broke our eye contact to avoid further awkwardness and scanned the room to see Chris in the corner with a girl half naked sitting on his lap whispering in his ear. I rolled my eyes and shook my head.

I guess it was just sex to him after all.

“ Hello , Im Demitri.” He smiled at me turning his hat backwards so I could better see his face. Inside I had a mini heart attack as his pretty honey hazel eyes grinned back at me. “ What’s your name Beautiful ?”

“Kimiko.” I replied as I felt my cheeks turn a criminson shade of red.

" Well Ms. Kimiko its very nice to meet , would you like to dance?"

" I would love to. " I stated as he grabbed my hand and proceed to go downstairs to the dance floor. On our way out chris locked eyes with me and then they traced to Demitri's fingers entwined with mine . His gaze hardened and his eyes grew hard.

What's he mad for, that b**** on his lap not satisfying enough ?

I chuckled to myself and focused on this fine man guiding me to the stairs . Chris would have to wait .

'Dance for you' was playing as I swayed my hips from side to side and he kept right up with me. After a couple more songs we sat down to catch our breath and ordered a couple drinks .

" So, Kimiko I was wondering if I could possibly get to know you better. I don't want top rush you in to anything. No that's not what Im asking. I just would love for you to be someone I can talk to ." he replied smoothly never breaking his gaze from my eyes.

" You know Demitri I would love that. " I smiled while sipping on my strawberry martini.

After a little more conversation and a couple more dances, I grew tired and was ready to go home. so I exchanged numbers with him and found Nikki so she could drop me off .

When we got to Club Touch it was packed to the max, we got in the club and music was blasting as we maneuvered our way through the people and spotted Barry.

“ Happy Birthday Babe . “ I gave him a hug as he smiled at me.

“ Hey Ma, Thanks for stopping through you looking good . You better tell Chris to lock you up ! “ He replied as he laughed with a cup of Ciroc in his free hand. Nikki had walked off to find Cameron.

I rolled my eyes and laughed along with him. I was not with Chris, I was just a guest in his home. I wish they would understand that. After I finished my conversation I went to look for the rest of the guys and I spotted them in the VIP section upstairs guarded by the bouncer.

“ Im with them.” I explained to the bouncer.

“ I have heard that at least 20 times tonight, hold up. “ He gruffily replied with an attitude.

b**** ass nigga.

When he came back he opened the rope for me and I strolled in. Shad and Ty was sitting at the table with some other niggas smoking a blunt laughing loudly.

“ Hey Boys. “ I smiled as they all turned in my direction.

“ Yooo, Wassup Kimi your ass finally showed up to kick it huh ? “ Ty replied as he stood up to hug me after Shad. Ty introduced me to his friends who were all staring. I shook my head laughing to myself and sat down on the couch.

They were all the same.

Loose curls down my back. A long sleeved back fitted dress with satin see through sides and red bottom heels. I wasn’t dressed to impress, I was dressed to kill.

I was kind of tiptoeing around Chris because of our incident this morning. I decided to call up Nikki to give me a ride to the club, we had discussed the s*** that happened with Dre' and she was mad at first but I explained to her that they would get theirs.

After I put the finishing touches on my outfit I applied some lip gloss to my lips and went downstairs. My phone started to ring and I looked at the caller I.D to find Nikki’s name .

“ Wassup B**** ! “ I exclaimed into the phone as I sat in a chair in the front room.

“ Hey H**, Im outside come on. “ She laughed as she hung up the phone.

I entered her car and she drove off to our destination.

“ Oh s*** . “ she gasped looking at me as we pulled up to a red light.

“ What ? “ I asked her confused as she continued to stare at me .

“ You got some d*** didn’t you ?!”

I choked on air, this bi*** knew me too damn well.

“ No, why the hell you ask me that ? “ I laughed nervously.

“ B**** don’t lie , you glowing. I knew Chris was gonna give you that good s*** ! “ She laughed at my facial expression as the light turned green and she cruised down the street.

“ Whatever “ I mumbled embarrassed.

I didn't see Chris again unti the next morning when I went down stairs to find something to eat. I heard him in the living room laughing at the tv. When I looked in, he was sitting there like a big ass kid eating a bowl of cereal watching cartoons.

" Good Morning ! " I exclaimed in a chipper voice.

He grilled me as I laughed and went into the kitchen to make me a bowl of cereal also.

As I turned to reach for the Fruity Pebbles a strong set of arms wrapped around my waist .

I chuckled to myself ." Chris I think we should stop with these little games . " I said as he turned me around to look at him.

"Who said I was playing ma ? " he picked me up and placed me on the counter as he kissed my neck.

I moaned slightly.

' Oh f***. Kimiko, don't get horny. don't get horny. '

He put his hand inside my shorts and pushed my panties aside. When he inserted one of his fingers inside me I knew I was giving in .

He lifted me up and pulled out his d***. I looked at it and then looked back up at him shaking my head.

He smirked at me and pushed it into my pussy and began to pump in and out of me .

" Aw s*** ! " I moaned out loud .

This went on and on until he finally came.

We both exhaled deeply as I leaned on the counter.

" Now we even Ma " He laughed as he fixed his clothes.

" Dont forget about Barry's Party Tonight" He said as he walked back into the living room as if nothing had just happened.

I rolled my eyes. This was just sex, but then it dawned on me.

' I just had sex with Chris in the kitchen '

And that is a victory in itself.

We sat across from each other as he ate the fried chicken and macaroni. I was still pissed about him leaving me horny and s*** but I had a plan. He wouldn't see this coming and I was going to play along as if nothing had happened.

" Sooo , why do they call you Breezy ? " I asked him.

"Some b**** made it up , said I was too cold after we f***ed and I never called her... it stuck . " he replied with a chuckle after he finished his plate.

I started the dishes while he went upstairs to get ready to meet the boys at the dock.

' I cant help feeling some type of way about him, but I know damn well I'm not falling for his ass .. right ? '

After Chris left I finished the dishes and went to go take a shower. After I got out I put on my black boy shorts, my old university sweatshirt, and my hair in a bun on top of my head. I went into the guest bedroom and laid across the bed while I waited for Chris to get back.

It was a little after 2 a.m. when I heard footseps coming up the stairs.

Payback was definitely coming.

I heard the shower began running and I waited until I was for sure he was out. I went to his room and knocked on the door.

" Chris ? " I asked.

He was putting on some basketball shorts when I walked in.

"Wassup ?" He looked at me as he sat down on his bed.

I walked over to him and stood in between his legs as I looked down at him.

" I was just wondering .. " I started to say as I played the role perfectly and looked down at him seductively.

I put my hands on the back of his head as I kissed him softly. When I felt his d*** getting hard I placed my hand inside his shorts and rubbed up and down as he grunted.

" f*** " He muttered.

I pushed him onto the bed and got on top of him. I grinded on his d*** while adding my tongue into his mouth.

" Chris ? " I whispered in his ear.

" Yeah Ma . " He uttered.

I smiled mischeviously and kissed his neck.

" Payback's a b**** ain't it ? "

I got up and sprinted out of there laughing all the way to my room.