Newsletter Link

8 Fans Online

<a href=>Jay</a> walked outside and blew warmth into his palms as the chilly evening air whipped across his face. He dug his hands in his pockets and walked down the empty block. He got to his post and stood there, looking in both directions. It had been a year. He was well on his way to a promotion, so he didn't sweat the lonely nights. He pulled out his iPhone and went through his contacts. He stopped on Monique's name, just as a young guy approached. He looked to be about 15. Jay looked him in the face and nodded.

"Mookie sent me." The guy said.

Jay dug in his pocket and handed him a dime bag. The dude handed him a crumpled twenty and walked off down the street. Jay pressed Monique's name and put the phone to his ear. Her voice broke the silence surrounding him and he looked down the street, as he leaned up against the building he shared this corner with.

"What you doin tonight?" He asked, his tone of voice implying that he wanted to see her.

"Mm, nothing if you tryna come through." She said.

"Be up when I call." He said, hanging up the phone and putting it back in his pocket.

He sighed and looked up at the sky and marveled at the number of stars he could count tonight. He wondered what was up there. He wondered who was sharing this view with him this evening.


3 miles to the north, <a href=>Selena</a> looked up at the stars and wished that she was there. She looked back at the crowd of kids surrounding the swimming pool, celebrating graduation. She spotted <a href=>Narvin</a> and his eyes were glued to her. She turned away and sighed. She heard his footsteps behind her on the concrete. He put his hand on her lower back and she stepped away.

"Are you crazy? What are you doing?" She asked, looking at him.

"I haven't heard from you." He said.

"I didn't know this was something I'd committed to." She said, frowning at him.

"So what? What happened doesn't mean anything to you?" He asked.

"No. She's my best friend, Narvin." Selena snapped.

"Can I have everyone's attention!"

Selena heard her best friend <a href=>Chelsea's</a> voice and she shivered.

"I wanna thank everyone for coming! Thanks to everyone who has ever been there for me. We're graduating you guys! This is huge. I've had so many good times with everyone out here. I'm gonna miss everyone. I really wanna thank my best friend Selena and my boyfriend Narvin for being there when I needed them. I love the both of you. I don't know who I'd be without you guys." She said.

Narvin smiled and Selena's face swelled with tears. She stared blankly back at her best friend and then at the sky. She didn't want to be here anymore.


Whoo were the exact words out of my mouth after reading your adds!! What a roller coaster ride!!!!

whoo. Okay. Enjoy!

The doorbell rang and Selena went to stand up when Charity stopped her.

"Oh stop it." She said, smiling and standing up to go inside.

James stood outside of the door, and looked at his empty hands. Maybe he should've brought her something? Like what, fool? He thought. He shook his head and sighed deeply, when the door opened revealing Charity's face. Her eyes lit up at the sight of James.

"You're gonna make her day." She said, smiling.

James smiled a little and entered the house, "Where is she?" He asked, looking over at her.

Selena walked through the kitchen, curious to see who was at the door. "Char Bear. Who dat be?" She asked, walking out of the kitchen, into the foyer.

Her mouth fell slightly open when she saw James and well...his did too when he saw her. His eyes were glued to her stomach.

"...Hi." She said, smiling faintly.

He stood frozen there, trying to make sense of everything. He looked up at her finally and smiled slightly.

"Hi." He responded.

Charity smirked and walked back into the kitchen. Selena walked slowly towards him.

"Can I hug you?" She asked.

He smacked his lips, "What kind of question is that?" He asked.

She shrugged, "I don't wanna...I don't know." She said, extending her arms.

They hugged and he squeezed her tightly, exhaling softly. He buried his face in her hair and placed a soft kiss on her neck. She smiled and pulled back, looking up at him.

"Why'd you come?" She asked, stepping back from him.

"I just wanted to stop by and see know? I didn't think I'd see this." He said, looking down once more.

She put her hands on her stomach and nodded, "Yeah well...I thought a lot about the argument and, it's a blessing to have a child...especially with you. Even if it is earlier than I'd planned." She said, shrugging.

James nodded and took his hands out of his pockets. He moved closer and put his hands on her stomach, looking in her eyes.

"Wow. When are your appointments and stuff?" He asked.

"Usually on Saturdays, but Charity goes with me." Selena said, "She's been a big help."

"...She doesn't have to go anymore. I'll come up on the weekends again." He said.

"No James, that's okay. I respect the distance that you've put between us..." She said.

"It's my baby...and you're my girl, so I'll be there for your appointments. When's the next one?" He asked.

Selena smiled, "2 weeks." She said.

"Okay." He responded, putting it in his phone. "Are you hungry?"

She nodded, "I want some pizza." She said.

"I'll order one. We can catch up." He said.

She smiled and hugged him, "Okay, James." She said softly.

When the pizza arrived, Selena and James sat in the kitchen for hours, talking about the 2 months of each other that they'd missed. James twirled his phone in his fingers and Selena...was about to ask the question she'd been holding back.

" there still hope for us?" She asked softly.

James looked over at her, "'s you, Selena. I'll never completely let you go, I just feel like we've kind of hit the bottom and gotta grow again."

She nodded, satisfied with the answer.

"But I want our child to see their parents together and...I still want a home with you. That's why I'm here. We've been broken before and...a few of those times were my fault." He said.

She nodded, "I wish that it wasn't so hard for us." She said, looking over at him. "And I made it worse when things were so good..." She said softly.

"But it was a learning experience, for the both of us so...I hope you don't repeat it." He said, looking her in the eye.

She shook her head, "I hope that you can trust me when I say that I won't." She said.

He grabbed another slice of pizza and shrugged, "We'll see." He mumbled.

<strong>2 Months Later</strong>

James and Selena hadn't talked, skyped or anything since their argument and well, Selena didn't really blame him. She never went through with the abortion, despite all of her fears. Her mother had even talked her into keeping it. She walked out of the cafe and smiled at Narvin whose eyes dropped her to her little protruding stomach. He shook his head and smiled.

"I honestly can't even wrap my head around this." He said, putting his hand on her stomach, "But it's beautiful none the less. Have you talked to him?"

She shook her head. The thought of James always made her sad so, she tried to occupy herself.

"No but, that's okay." She said, smiling a little. "I don't blame him for what he's feeling."

Charity walked up and smiled at Narvin before she wrapped her arm around Selena.

"C'mon mama." She said, turning with her to walk to her car.

Selena got in the passenger seat and looked over at Charity. They were headed to LA for spring break. Charity had agreed to spend the a week with Selena and her mom. The car ride was rather quiet, with Selena writing in her journal and Charity singing softly to her music. When they got to LA, Selena and Charity sat in her backyard, watching the sun go down and listening to the breeze. James walked out of his job and loosened his tie, before he got in his car and rolled the windows down. He put his key in the ignition and turned the car on. He grabbed his phone and fumbled with it, causing it to fall on the floor near the passenger's seat. He leaned down and reached his hand beneath the seat.

"The f*** man?" He mumbled, as he pulled a guitar pick from the floor. "Selena." He said, examining it.

He put it in his pocket and grabbed his phone. He looked at the date. She was home. He sat back in his seat, debating on going to visit. He bit his lip and tapped the steering wheel with his fingers, before he headed in the direction of Selena's house.

Selena watched the sun rise as she lied in her bed, crying silently and staring out of the window. Charity knocked softly on the door, but Selena didn't budge.

"James is here." She said softly.

Selena sat up quickly and threw the covers back, before she walked out into the living room to see James sitting on the couch. She stood a couple feet away, looking over at him. He sat back on the couch and looked up at her.

"Will you sit please?" He said softly.

Selena sat down on the couch, her tired eyes fixed on James. His eyes fell to her stomach. He shrugged.

"Do you what you feel like you need to do..." He said. "But either way, the engagement is still off. You aren't ready to marry me."

"Why would you say that?" Selena asked.

"Because if you were, you wouldn't feel the need to hide things from me anymore. We're not...f***ing dating, Selena. We're binding ourselves, together, for life. Do you know what that means? That means that your decision is mine too. So since I'm giving you this freedom to make this choice alone, it means that I'm not ready to marry you neitha." He said.

Selena swallowed hard and let her eyes drop to the floor, "How do I...fix this?" She asked.

"I don't know." He responded, looking over at her. "Right now I don't even know if I can trust you. I'm not coming up here next weekend, or the weekend after that-"

"James-" She started.

He shook his head, "I just need time to think, Selena. 'Cause if I'm not marrying you, I don't really know where else to go from here."

She crawled towards him and pecked his lips.

"...I'm sorry." She said softly, looking into his eyes. She wanted to drown there. Make him look at her the way that he always did. He returned nothing but a cold glare.

"You should be." He said, kissing her lips and standing up to leave.

Selena sat on the couch and watched James leave the apartment. She was sure that this was the last time.

They have to come to an agreement she can't just go through with the abortion that's kind of selfish because what if he wants to have the baby after he give it some thought

James hugged Selena tighter than he ever had before and kissed her forehead, as they lied in bed.

"...we can take care of the baby." He said softly.

Selena looked up at him, "...I scheduled an appointment Monday. I'm telling you this because, it'll hurt too bad not to."

James loosened his arms and looked at her, "What you talkin about?"

"...I wanna get an abortion." She whispered, shutting her eyes immediately after the words left her lips.

With her eyes shut, she felt James' hands leave her back. She opened them to find tears falling from his eyes. Selena went to wipe them away and he slapped her hands away.

"Don't touch me." He said, sitting up and grabbing his shoes.

Selena crawled to the edge of the bed and straddled him, hugging him tightly.

"Don't go, don't go, don't go. Please." She said.

"Selena get off of me." He said.

"Please." She said, kissing his neck.

James pushed her onto the floor and she looked up at him painfully. He swallowed hard and wiped his face. She scooted back towards the wall and pulled her knees towards her chest.

"So you were gonna kill my baby and you weren't gonna tell me?" He said, his cheeks wet.

Selena sat quietly and looked over at him, "We're in a good place...I didn't want the baby to put our dreams on hold or...cause a strain before we even saw the altar. It's gonna be hard enough to make it to August James." She said softly.

"Especially now." He responded. "As far as I'm concerned, the engagement's off." He said, standing up and going to the closet.

Selena looked up at him from the floor, her mouth slightly ajar.

"You don't mean that." She said.

He walked to her and yanked the ring off of her finger, "Ask me again if I do." He said, going back to the closet and grabbing his things.

Selena started to weep. She stood up and flung her arms around him, shaking her head, "I'll keep it. I'll keep it. Just stay, please?"

"But you f***ing lied to me!" He yelled, pulling away from her. "And not over no dumb s***, Selena, this is our child!! You keep f***in playin with me! If it ain't some damn plane ticket in your drawer, it's an abortion, Selena?! You know how this s*** feels? I don't deserve your honesty no more?" He asked, his voice hoarse.

Selena dropped her head in shame, before she looked him in the eye, "...I don't deserve you..." She whispered.

"You're right. You don't." He said, shaking his head. "Cause after all the s*** I put you through, I never imagined that you'd stoop so low, and make me feel that pain that you did." He said, throwing his bag over his shoulder and leaving the room.

No words for Selena right now...

It was like clockwork. 4 am every morning that week, Selena was on the floor of the bathroom, throwing up. When James came up to visit, they spent Saturday night on the couch, eating ice cream and watching Saturday Night Live. James ran his hand over her head and kissed her forehead.

"...When was the last time you had your period?" He asked softly.

She looked over at him funny, "Why?" She asked.

"Selena, you've thrown up the last week. Morning sickness. Doesn't that make sense to you?" He asked, his face full of fear and concern.

She looked back at the TV and didn't responded. James turned off the TV and looked at her through the dimmed lighting of the room.

"Are you pregnant?" He asked.

"No." She responded softly.

"Have you checked?" He asked.

She shook her head, "No...I was afraid of the answer." She whispered, looking him in the eye.

James looked away and took a deep breath, "....When was the last time you had your period?" He asked again.

"...I'm 3 weeks late." She mumbled, swallowing hard.

James pulled away from her and held his temples, "Why the f*** wouldn't you say something?"

Selena's face swelled with tears and she shrugged, "I..."

Charity listened to James and Selena's conversation from the kitchen. She stopped cooking and thought back to the conversation that she and Selena had two days earlier....

<em>Selena walked into the apartment and shut the door, stepping out of her shoes. Charity shut her book and bit her lip.</em>

<em>"I can't keep this in any longer. Are you pregnant, Selena? You're throwing up. Sleeping right after class. What's going on?" Charity asked.</em>

<em>Selena shook her head and put her hair behind her ear, "Not after Monday." She whispered.</em>

<em>Charity's eyes got big and she threw her book on the couch, "Selena. You're not gonna...." She said.</em>

<em>Selena looked over at Charity, her eyes full of fear and regret, "I can't...right now." She said, as a stray tear rolled down her cheek.</em>

<em>Charity stood up and walked towards her, pulling her into a hug. She rubbed her back and shut her eyes. "Does James know?" She asked.</em>

<em>Selena shook her head, "No. I could never tell him. He doesn't have to know." She said.</em>

Charity walked into the living room and looked at the two of them. James was leaning forward on his knees, looking straight ahead. Selena's face was wet with tears. Selena looked at Charity and put her finger to her lips. Charity walked to her room, and pretended that she hadn't seen anything.

Hey I typed another add but my Internet went out. *sigh* I'll add when it comes back up. I can't on my phone.

Hmmm sounds like someone's pregnant :)

Selena rolled over at 4 am and sat up, clutching her stomach. She stood up and ran out of the room to the bathroom. She shut the door and dropped to her knees, throwing up viciously into the toilet. When she finished, she flushed the toilet and eased down onto the floor, where she sighed deeply and ran her fingers through her hair. She stood up and went to the sink, where she brushed her teeth and walked backed to bed. Later on, she woke up and walked out into the living room, smiling over at Charity.

"Morning." Charity said, looking over her glasses at her.

Selena grabbed an apple and walked back into the living room, with Charity's eyes on her. Charity looked away finally and went back to reading.

"Heard you throwing up this morning. Something wrong?" She asked.

Selena shook her head, "It was that pasta from last night. Had to be." Selena said.

"Hm." Charity responded, continuing to read.

Selena got up and went to her room. She plopped down on the bed and dialed James' number. He answered on the third ring.

"Sup." He answered.

"Hey. Where are you?" She asked.

"Doin me." He responded, "Out here lookin' for the hoes."

"I will clip your balls in your sleep." Selena said.

"Your threats get more disturbing I swear. Crazy ass." He responded. "What you doin?"

"Chillin at the apartment. I friggin threw up earlier." She said.

"Ugh. Why?" He asked.

"Something I ate I think. I'm so sleepy though. I'm think I'm coming down with something." She said.

"Well catch some z's. I need you to be healthy when I come up this weekend." He said.

Selena smirked, "Yeah I do need to be healthy." She responded, pulling at her bedspread. "Balls deep, ya dig!" She sang.

"Quoting a Kendrick Lamar song? I've taught you well, grasshopper." He said.

"Spare me." She responded, rolling her eyes. "But get to where you're going and text me when you get there, okay? love you." She said.

"I love you too." He responded, before hanging up the phone.

Selena rolled over and fell back asleep almost immediately. She didn't wake up until 3.

I really do apologize for the neglect. There WILL be an add tonight.

Yay RUN IT:)

Run It!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Should be adding this evening.

Yesss RUN IT:))))

Again I am so happy for Selena and James and I'm happy that her mom is okay with the whole engagement and wedding...I'm glad Selena had that talk with Shane also

Okay so I could see James point of being upset that she didn't tell her mom they were engaged and I could See Selenas point to, she was afraid and her mom hasn't been a big James fan either. But Im sooo glad Selena manned up and called her mom, and I was shocked like Selena I can't believe she's reacted so cool, hell she agreed to pay for the wedding thats so sweet. Im glad Selena finally talked to Shane and there semi cool, what he did was still wrong but it's nice she forgiven him, I understand she doesn't want to see Charity go thru what she went thru she's an amazing friend. Aww it was nice she asked Shane to be in her wedding. Too sweet. Loved the add. Run IT!!!!!


run it!
im excited for the wedding
and glad that selena's mom
excepted it!

Awww James and Selena are engaged!! Yes, finally! I understand why she was so mad at Shane. Guys constantly f*** girls over and think we're supposed to be with it, just cuz you say you're a f*** up. We're supposed to deal with all your bulls***, yet if we were to do half of that sh** we's be dumped like it wasn't nothing. Guys just kill me sometimes with their crap. And the girls kinda kill me too. I'm all about forgiveness, but its like at a certain point you gotta let go. I'm glad Selena and Charity are sticking it out. It takes strong people to do that. Yay her mom is on board which is nice. Love it!! Run it!!

Thank you everyone (:

Ohhh they freaked out !!!! Lls
I like Jay, he is really stepping up .
Shane is ... Idk. I just open he realize the good thing he has before it's gone. Or maybe he needs that wake up call

Run it

Lol, the newlyweds are so freaky. I love it!
James seems very happy, & he tries so much.
They both are made for each other! So glad Selena''
mom decided to accept it & pay for it. That's great!

As for Shane, I'm glad they talked. It makes a lot
of sense now. He has some changing to do!

Lol "you look hungry "

I truly f***ing love it dude!!!!!

I'm glad her Mommy approves and is putting everything in the past

Glad her and shane is on the same level now

Huhhhhh. Run it lol like ASAP :D

I Still Can't Believe Their ENGAGED:) Nice Add && I Love How Selena Talked To Shane && Explained Why She Was Hurt From What He Did!!! RUN IT:)

enjoy (: