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Secluded Heart (Complete)

<a href="">Zaira</a> had everything going for her. She was excelling in her junior year at college at age 21, was involved in multiple extracurricular activities, and was madly in love with her boyfriend, <a href="">Travis</a>. Everything seemed to be perfect, that is, until she met <a href="">him</a> and he turned her world upside down.



It’s been about two weeks and four days since I have talked to Zaira. After I told her off that day, I have been ignoring her at all costs. She has been blowing up my phone with calls and texts of apologies and I have just deleted every single one. I deleted her contact in my phone. I’m done with her. What she did really hurt me. I thought I could count on her, but I was wrong about that. I miss her, even though I hate to admit that. She was one of the few people in my life I could talk to about anything, anytime. I miss spending time with her. I have been working so much to take my mind off of Zaira and to also get this money to Antonio as quickly as I can. I’m so sick of this life, I just want out. I don’t want these worries anymore. I want to live my life the way I want to. I want to have someone special in my life and I want to settle down someday. I want my own life, which I don’t feel like I have right now. I’m living for other people, but not myself. I want to make myself happy and a part of me believes that Zaira and I met to make each other happy, but the other part of me questions that. I think until I get Antonio his money, I just need to keep to myself. Anyway right now I am on my way to my mom’s house. I haven’t seen Alexis and her in a few weeks and I miss them. My mom asked if Zaira would be coming with me, but I told her no and that’s it. I told her what happened between us and she thinks Zaira and I need to make up. I tell her if Zaira wants to make up with me she can, but I don’t feel like I did anything wrong. Anyway, once I get my mom’s house, I park, get out, lock the doors and walk into the house. I close and lock the door behind me and I take off my shoes.

“Juju!,” Alexis said while running up to me. I smile and pick up Alexis and hug her tight and she hugs me tight.

“I missed you Juju,” Alexis said.

“I miss you too baby girl. I’m sorry I haven’t been by in a couple of weeks,” I said. Alexis pulls out of the embrace and I kiss her all over her face and then she does the same to me. I set Alexis down and my mom comes out of the kitchen and behind her is Zaira. I just look at Zaira and then I look at my mom with a disappointed look on my face.

“Mom...what is she doing here?,” I asked.

“I invited her....and you two need to talk,” my mom said.

“No I don’t need to do anything,” I said defensively.

“Julian....I’m sorry for what I did,” Zaira said.

“Ok...we talked now ma, so Zaira you can leave,” I said rudely.

“Julian Maurice Matthews I know you better watch your mouth. I did not raise you that way,” my mom said sternly. I just roll my eyes and look away.

“You know what? I don’t even want to be here right now. I’m leaving,” I said.

“...Juju....don’t leave. Please,” Alexis said. I just look down at her and she is giving me puppy dog eyes. I hate it when she does that because I can never say no to her.

“Come on Julian. We have lunch ready. Come make a plate,” my mom said. I just nod my head and I pick up Alexis and kiss her cheek and she rests her head on my shoulder. We all go into the kitchen and I help Alexis fix her plate. I look at Zaira every now and then and she is watching me. I try to look away but my eyes always wonder back to her. She looks really nice today as always. Damn I miss her. I feel so weak for even missing her. Once we all make our plates and drinks we all sit down at the kitchen island and start eating. Alexis and my mom are sitting on one side, while Zaira and I are sitting on the other. I tried to sit next to my mom, but Alexis beat me to it. I know she did that on purpose.

“Zaira I’ve missed you I’m glad you came,” Alexis said while smiling big.

“Awww you’re so sweet. I missed you too Alexis,” Zaira said while smiling.

“Haven’t you missed Zaira Juju?,” Alexis asked. I just narrow my eyes at her and she winks at me.

“Honestly, no,” I said nonchalantly. I notice from the side of my eye Zaira put her head down and then I feel my mom kick my shin hard! I just look at her and she is glaring at me.

“Julian stop being so rude. We have company and this is how you act? Huh?,” my mom said angrily.

“I didn’t tell you to invite her! You know I didn’t want to see her!,” I yelled.

“.....Karen....thanks for inviting me but maybe I should just go,” Zaira said.

“No Zaira you’re staying. I want you and Julian to go upstairs right now and fix this mess. I want it fixed right now,” my mom said sternly.

“Mom we’re eating,” I said.

“I said now Julian,” my mom said while looking at me intensely. I just roll my eyes and stand up and Zaira does the same.

“Don’t you dare come back down here until everything is settled,” my mom said. I just sigh and I walk upstairs and Zaira follows behind me. We get to my bedroom and Zaira closes the door and looks at me. I sit on the bed and she stands in front of me.

“Julian, I’m so sorry for blaming you for what happened to me. I know it wasn’t your fault. It was Antonio’s and I know that now....I’m sorry for being selfish. You were right in saying that I wasn’t complaining when you were at the concert with me. I wasn’t and that’s because I wanted to spend that night with you. I knew what could have happened if Antonio knew we were together when you should be working, but I didn’t stop you and I didn’t want to. So I could take partial blame too.....Julian I miss you. I miss you so much....I want you back in my life.....I told you that I would be there for you no matter what, and well.....I failed you. When things got difficult and uncomfortable I pushed you away and I’m sorry for that......I need you Julian. I need you in my life and I know you need me in can you please give me another chance? I will be more understanding this time,” Zaira said sincerely. I just look up at her and she gives me a small smile. I just look down and shake my head.

“Zaira.....I think it’s best we just stay apart alright?,” I said.

“....You don’t mean that Julian.”

“I think I do.”

“Julian I care about you so much....please don’t let this be the end of us.”

“It’s not my fault now is it?”

“No it’s not....but....I’ve never cared for anyone the way that I have cared about you....I know I can be there for you whenever you need me. Give me a chance. Please. I will do better this time.” I just shake my head while looking away and Zaira moves closer to me and moves my head so I am looking up at her.

“Julian you make me so happy. I am never sad when I am with you and you make me feel so special and cared for....I don’t want to lose those feelings and I don’t want to lose you,” Zaira said. I notice tears swell up in her eyes. Gosh I hate it so much when she cries. That s*** hurts me and it makes it even worse that she is crying over me.

“....Don’t cry,” I said softly.

“....Then tell me you forgive me. Tell me you still want me,” Zaira said as tears rolled down her cheeks. I just look her in her eyes and she looks back at me.

“Zaira....what you did really hurt me. I would never ever wish harm upon you and if I would have known that Antonio would have taken you the way he did, I would never have went to the concert that night. I can’t stand to see you hurt Zaira so I wouldn’t do anything that would put you at knew from the very beginning what the deal was. You knew that I needed you and you knew that people usually leave when they find out what I’m into....but you were different. You saw past all the bulls*** and I liked you so much for that....but then you just became one of those other people. Those people that left because they couldn’t handle the situation when it got difficult. I need someone I can count on no matter what proved to me that’s not you,” I said honestly. Zaira just stares at me as her lips trembles as she starts to cry hard. She runs out of the room and I just sigh. I walk downstairs and I see Zaira run out of the house. My mom and Alexis come up to me and they both see Zaira pull out of the driveway and speed down the street. She parked in the garage that is why I had no clue she was even here in the first place. I close the door and my mom glares at me and Alexis is frowning.

“Juju what did you do? Zaira was crying,” Alexis said sadly.

“I just told her the truth,” I said.

“Julian.....I can’t believe you. How could you not give Zaira a good chance? That’s a good woman for you and you pushed her away,” my mom said.

“She doesn’t deserve it ma. She proved to me that she can’t be around when I need her.”

“She doesn’t deserve a second chance huh? Do you know how many second chances I have given you huh? You’ve messed up in your life too Julian but I have always forgiven you and given you second chances because I care about you. When you care about someone that is what you do. Love is forgiveness Julian,” my mom said.

“Whatever,” I said while rolling my eyes.

“Oh you are making me mad Julian! You’re so stubborn! You know you’re not too old to get that ass whooped! ,” my mom said angrily. s*** now I know she is mad. She never swears and she is usually sure to never swear around Alexis. My mom just puts her hands up in defeat and goes upstairs. I look over at Alexis and she looks up at me. She walks over to me and hugs my waist. I sigh and I pick her up and she looks at me.

“You made grandma mad. She said a bad word,” Alexis said.

“I know....don’t say that word ever ok?,” I said.

“I know....Juju can I say something?”

“Yeah baby girl.”

“Well.....grandma says all people make mistakes. No one is perfect. So if Zaira made a mistake and says she is sorry isn’t that good enough? You do things that are bad and you say sorry and I forgive you. I know you care about her and she cares about her too. You two are good together......she makes you smile and you don’t smile a lot Juju,” Alexis said. I just look at Alexis in a bit of shock. Leave it to a child to tell it like it is. f***. I know my mom and Alexis are right. Zaira could have done a lot worse to me. She may have made a mistake, but she’s not perfect. I’m not perfect either. I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life. So who am I to not forgive Zaira for one mistake that she is remorseful for? She’s forgiven me. When we first met, I was nothing but rude to her. I said and did things that weren’t right, but she still forgave me for all of that. Now Zaira deserves the same from me. I was extremely stubborn when Zaira tried to talk to me, so I am sure she won’t want anything to do for a bit, but I won’t give up. I will make this right.

Aww Im so sad for Julian and Zaira. And Im mad at Zaira for blaming what happened on Julian. He didnt know Antonio was gonna pull that stunt he pulled. And now she's pushed him back away. Ugh. Please let them makeup. Run It!!!

Way to turn him back into a d*** Zaira. Good luck with that though, hopefully it won't be as tough as it was in the beginning to get in his good graces. Run It.

glad angela and cam was being honest with her and told her the truth instead of jus tryna make her feel better like its not her fault..when it really is her fault..she blamed julian for somethin that was waaay out of his she went back on her word..she said she wud stick it out with him through WATEVA..hopeflly they can work it out because they truly are meant for each other and i wanna see them make it..but idk she dun effed up pretty bad

Short add I know! I just wanted to tell you ladies that I start classes tomorrow! This is my last semester of my undergraduate program so I need to focus lol! But my schedule isn't hectic at all so I will add as often as I can! Thanks for all of the support ladies it means SO much to me! I love ya'll <3


It’s been four days since I have last seen Julian. Ever since he picked me up from Antonio’s I have not spoken to him and I haven’t really wanted to. I’m just upset about everything that happened. I know it isn’t completely Julian’s fault, but it feels like it is to me, at least right now. Angela and Cameron keep saying that I need to talk to him, but I just don’t want to. I felt so violated by Antonio and I know Julian can’t understand that. After being raped, what happened with Antonio just adds to the pain of the rape, even though it wasn’t the same situation. It’s just a lot to deal with right now. I just need some space away from him. I hope he can understand that. Well it’s Tuesday morning and I am on my way to the dining hall. As I am walking, I feel a light tap on my left shoulder. I turn around and I am face to face with Julian.

“Hi Zaira,” Julian said cautiously.

“Hey,” I said.

“....How have you been?”

“I’ve been ok Julian.”

“....Why haven’t you answered my calls or texts?”

“I just need some space Julian.”

“ can you blame me for what happened? You know I would never want to bring any harm onto you.”

“Well you obviously didn’t think about that since you came to the club knowing the consequences!,” I said while raising my voice.

“I don’t recall you complaining at the club when we were having a nice time together!,” Julian said while raising his voice as well. I just raise my eyebrows in shock.

“Oh so it’s my fault then? Huh?,” I asked.

“I did not say that’s no one’s fault but Antonio’s. He is the one that planned the whole thing and took you from the club,” Julian said. I just look down and shake my head.

“....What is going on with us Zaira?,” Julian asked through sighs.

“....I don’t know,” I said while shrugging my shoulders. I can feel Julian studying me and I look up at him and I look into his eyes. I see his eyes immediately turn hurt and angry.

“....You know what? I don’t need this s*** Zaira. I warned you from the very beginning. I told you exactly what it was. You’re the one that pursued me, but now you want to give up because things get a bit difficult? Well if that’s the way it is, then that’s fine. I don’t need to be with someone that isn’t willing to care for me when I need it the most....Zaira I don’t think you understand. I hate this s***. I hate selling f***ing drugs every damn night just because some punk ass nigga set my brother up. I hate it ok? I don’t like anything about it. I just want my life back. I want to live my life the way I want to live it, not the way someone else wants me to live it. But right now I can’t Zaira ok? I can’t. I can’t do all the things I want to right now and when you first met me, you knew that. I thought you could understand.....I’ve put my feelings out in the open for you. I don’t do that s*** ever Zaira. Ever. So that just proves that you are special to least I thought you were special. I thought we could really have something special Zaira, but I was wrong. If you are going to blame me for what happened, then you really don’t need to be with me. I don’t need you if you can’t be there for me when I need you. I don’t need you as a girlfriend and I damn sure don’t need you a friend,” Julian said harshly. Julian just turns around to walk away and I just watch him. Everything he said really hit me deep. I feel awful now. Everything he said about me was true. He has counted on me to be there for him and I failed him. I did pursue him because I wanted to get to know him and even when I found out that he sold drugs, I still wanted to get to know him. I did know what I was getting into with I am wrong for pushing Julian away and blaming him for what happened with Antonio. I know if Julian knew what Antonio was going to do, then he would never have come to the club to see me. Julian came to the club for the concert to see me. He wanted to see me because he cared. I really messed up my situation with Julian. I can only blame myself. I just sigh heavily and I walk to the dining hall trying to hold back tears. Once I get there, I look for Angela and Cameron and I smile a bit when I see them. I sit down in the booth across from them and they both look at me.

“Boo what’s wrong?,” Angela asked quickly. Angela is my best friend, so she always knows when something is wrong with me.

“...I just talked to Julian,” I said softly.

“Good, did ya’ll make up?,” Cameron asked. I just shake my head while looking down.

“Look at us Zaira and tell us what happened,” Angela said. I sigh and then I look up at Angela and Cameron.

“...As I was walking here, he pulled me aside to talk and didn’t go good....he asked me how I could blame him for what happened just went sour from there. He basically told me that I knew what I was getting into from the beginning. He said that he thought I was special, but apparently I’m not anymore because I can’t even be there for him when he needs me the most. He said he doesn’t need me as a girlfriend or a friend,” I said as a few tears built up in my eyes.

“Zaira don’t cry,” Cameron said.

“....He was right. He was right about everything....I was being so selfish. It’s not like when we were at the club for the concert, I told him to leave because of what I knew could happen. I wanted him there with him,” I said.

“Zaira, Julian cares about you. Anyone with eyes can see that. You two care about each other and you make each other happy.....what happened that night at the concert was unfortunate and we are thankful that you weren’t terribly injured. But you know that if Julian knew something like that was going to happen, he wouldn’t have come to the club. But Zaira he did and it wasn’t just because he wanted to.....he wanted to make you happy. Since he cares about you, he wants to make you happy. So for you to even blame Julian for a second for what happened.....well it’s wrong. I am only telling you this because I love you and I want to see you deserve that. That sorry ass nigga that raped you and Travis both hurt you. They both hurt you so deeply in ways that only you could understand.....and I know for a fact that Julian makes you happy. I have never seen you smile as much as you do when Julian is around. may be scared to get really close to someone because you are scared that you may get hurt again because of your past issues and relationships.....but if Julian is damn near willing to risk his own safety just so he could spend a special evening with you.....I don’t think you have to be scared of him hurting you....but Zaira....I think you may have ruined your own happiness by pushing Julian away the way you did,” Angela said honestly. I just look at her as tears roll down my cheeks. She is so right about everything. If anything this is my entire fault, not Julian’s. I don’t know how I could even for a second blame Julian for what happened to me that night at the club. That must have hurt him so bad. Damn I really messed this up. I don’t know what to do. Julian made it pretty clear that he doesn’t want anything to do with me. How could I blame him? I told him that if things got tough, he could count on me. I am the one that pursued him and for me to go back on my word isn’t right. How will I ever be able to fix this?

im caught up with this story..i love it!! i cant wait for the day that julian pays back antonio all of his money so he can finally be free from that mess! i know she is hurting from wat jus happened to her but she shouldnt blame julian for antonio kidnappng her..he really cares abt her and he wanted to see her..she wasnt complaining wen they was at the club..i hope they can work thru this.. :( RUN IT!

Aww man what antonio did was wrong I hope zaria and Julian work thru this issue

What in the f*** is Antonio's problem?! Dude has some SERIOUS control issues. If the man is making your money then leave him be! Dude has 3 months, let him work his magic how he sees fit. I hope Julian finds the time to kick that nigga in the teeth for that bulls*** he pulled. RUN IT!

Nah Zee you know Julian didn't want u to get hurt
I hope she was honest when she said Antonio didn't do anything to her
I can feel Julian's pain right now.
Antonio needs to get shot
No man is too big to die
He should die before Julian pays him off
His men should turn on him
And shoot him multiple times!
Torture him then kill him.

Nah Zee you know Julian didn't want u to get hurt
I hope she was honest when she said Antonio didn't do anything to her
I can feel Julian's pain right now.
Antonio needs to get shot
No man is too big to die
He should die before Julian pays him off
His men should turn on him
And shoot him multiple times!
Torture him then kill him.

That was so sweet when Julian showed up at the club surprising Zaira. Know she was missing him and wasn't expecting him there. So sweet.Ugh. I'm so mad. I hate Antonio. How could he just feel so justified in ruining Julians life this way. That boy owes him nothing at all. But he's hell bent on making his life miserable. Kidnapping Zaira and then telling Ju if he doesn't stay away from her he'll hurt her even worse. Ugh. I want him dead or arrested asap. Im upset Zaira got mad at Ju I know she just went through some tramatic shyt but it wasn't Julians fault completely. He only wanted to surprise and spend some time with his chick. A kind gesture turnt into a tough lesson thanks to Antonio. Please don't let them end this way.

Awww poor Julian and Zaria
Run it

Omg this really sucks!!! I hope that they can get through this!! They really care about one another and I don't want to see their relationship destroyed cuz of what he's doing. Its already doing more damage than good. smh This is some bulls***!! run it!!


Once I got my drink, I wait by the bar for Zaira to come out of the bathroom. She looks so damn beautiful tonight. She is so sexy. The outfit she has on tonight does wonders for her body. When I first saw her, my heart stopped in my chest because she looked that good. It has been a great night so far. Just holding Zaira close to me as we dance me chills honestly. I just wanted to do this for her tonight to remind her that I am still here. I’m not going anywhere. She has to know that I am not pushing her away or abandoning her. We may not see each other as often as we use to, but she needs to know that what we have to do is for our safety. That is all I am worried about at this point. About ten minutes pass and Zaira hasn’t come out from the bathroom and I am getting a little worried. I walk back to the women’s bathroom and I knock on the door.

“Zaira! You alright?,” I yelled into the bathroom. I don’t hear an answer and I start to panic a bit.

“Hello! Is anyone in there?,” I yelled again. I get no answer and I walk in the bathroom and it’s completely empty. My heart just dropped to the pit of my stomach. I drop my drink as I run out of the bathroom. I look around the back of the club, even the men’s bathroom but I don’t see Zaira anywhere. I am in a full panic right now. I notice the back door is wide open and I look around for any sign of Zaira. I then notice one of Zaira’s earrings on the floor. I pick it up and my heart is beating out of my chest right now. f***! Please don’t let this be my fault. I have this feeling Antonio is behind this. s*** this is my fault. I have to go find Zaira right now. I put the earring in my pocket and then I run to the front of the club and I rush to Angela and Cameron.

“Zaira’s gone!,” I said quickly.

“What?!?,” Cameron and Angela exclaimed in shock.

“She’s gone....she went to the bathroom but she took too long so I went to look for her and she’s gone. She’s gone!,” I said.

“Oh my god. We have to go find her,” Angela said worried.

“I know....I think I have an idea on where she might be.....s*** this is all my fault,” I said while shaking my head.

“Man don’t say that....we will find her. Let’s go,” Cameron said. I nod my head and we all leave the club. I tell Cameron and Angela to follow me in his car. I get in my car and Angela and Cameron get in Cameron’s car and I speed out to Antonio’s warehouse with Cameron following behind me. I’m mad as hell right now. He does not have to take my s*** out on Zaira. That just isn’t right. I know I have been spending a lot of time with her, but that’s my business not his. I don’t even owe this nigga any money!!! I think that’s the real reason why I feel like I can just make the money on my own time. It took me eight months to make the first $4,000 so why the hell does Antonio want the other $4,000 so fast? He knows how slow the streets can be at times so he should understand. Ugh! I’m pissed off! I just hope and pray no one puts their hands on Zaira. She’s mine and no one else’s. Antonio especially better keep his hands off of her. My blood started to boil when he talked about Zaira like she was just another female he could f*** if he wanted to. No. That is not how that is going to go down, not if I can help it. I swear if Zaira has one misplaced hair on her head, I will f*** somebody up. When you mess with someone I care for, you are messing with me. Once I get to Antonio’s warehouse, I quickly park and then I get my gun and put it in my pants. I get out of the car and Angela and Cameron get out of Cameron’s car. I walk over to them and they both look so worried.

“Julian what is going on? Where are we?,” Angela asked.

“This is Antonio’s warehouse,” I said.

“That nigga you sell for?,” Cameron asked.

“The one that told you to stay away from Zaira?,” Angela asked.

“Yeah....that’s him,” I said while sighing.

“Oh my god. Julian you go get Zaira. Me and Cameron will wait out here,” Angela said.

“Ok ya’ll stay in the car. Don’t come in for anything. I don’t want ya’ll to get hurt,” I said. They both nod their heads and get in Cameron’s car and I run to Antonio’s warehouse and inside as quickly as I can. I run the turns of the warehouse until I get to Antonio’s room. I quickly open the door and my heart stops when I see Zaira. She is tied to a chair, in just her bra and panties. She has something stuffed in her mouth and her hands and legs are tied securely to the chair. She has tears streaming down her cheeks and when she sees me, more tears run down her cheeks. I also notice a small cut above her right breast. Antonio then walks over to Zaira and gently rubs her left shoulder and Zaira cringes and closes her eyes shut.

“I knew you would come,” Antonio said while smiling devilishly.

“Antonio....let her go,” I said intensely.

“Oh I will let her go don’t worry about that....but look at her. She looks good huh? Julian you got yourself a real nice one here,” Antonio said while looking Zaira up and down. Seeing Antonio look at Zaira like she is a piece of meat angers me to my core. Antonio moves to stand in front of Zaira and leans down to Zaira. He roughly caresses her bare thighs and Zaira just cringes in disgust as she cries.

“Antonio stop! I get it ok?,” I yelled. Antonio stops what he is doing and he turns around to look at me. He walks until he is standing right in front of me.

“Nigga I told you don’t f*** with me. Now I am going to have to keep tabs on you. If I hear about you with Zaira when you should be making my money, she will become mine. I will take her from you and do whatever I want whenever I want to her. Do you understand me?,” Antonio said harshly.

“This has nothing to do with Zaira. Don’t drag her into this,” I said.

“She is already in it Julian. Now I am going to ask you again, do you understand?”

“Yes I get it Antonio. Now please let her go.” Antonio smiles and then laughs as he walks over to Zaira. He takes the garment from inside her mouth and Zaira coughs through her tears. Antonio gently touches her face and Zaira turns her head away.

“Now don’t go telling anyone what I did....because if you do, you both end up dead. Got it?,” Antonio said. Zaira and I nod our heads while looking at each other. Antonio unties Zaira’s hands and she rubs her wrist in pain. I move closer to her and Antonio unties her feet. Zaira looks up at me with the most hurt look I have ever seen. Damn I feel guilty as hell right now. This is exactly why I did not want to get involved with Zaira. I didn’t want her to get hurt. But she is hurt, I can tell by the look she is giving me right now. I take off my jacket and I put it on Zaira’s shoulders. She wipes her tears and stands up and looks at me. I pick her up in my arms and I leave in a hurry. I look at her as we are leaving the warehouse and walking outside, but she doesn’t even look at me as she cries. This is killing me right now. Seeing Zaira so hurt, hurts me.

“Did he hurt you at all Zaira? Other than the cut?,” I asked. She just shakes her head “no.”

“He didn’t try to force himself on you did he? Him or anyone else?,” I asked. She just shakes her head “no” again and I just sigh.

“I’m sorry Zaira. I’m so sorry,” I said sympathetically. She just nods her head and I walk her out to my car and Angela and Cameron instantly come up to the both of us.

“Zaira, are you ok?,” Angela asked in a worried tone.

“....I’m ok,” Zaira said softly. I set her down and she pulls my jacket closed so it covers her torso.

“Are you hurt at all? Do you need to go to the hospital?,” Cameron asked.

“....I just want to go home,” Zaira said.

“I’ll take you home Zaira,” I said.

“.....I rather have Angela and Cameron take me home,” Zaira said. That s*** really hurt me deep. She blames me for what happened I know it.

“Zaira....I’m sorry for all of this....I’m really sorry,” I said.

“This is all your fault Julian! You came to the club on your own tonight I didn’t ask you to do that. If you wouldn’t have come this wouldn’t have happened!,” Zaira yelled in tears. I just stare at her in shock. That just broke my heart to be honest. I didn’t want to believe that she blamed me for this, but hearing her say it just confirms she does and that hurts me.

“Zaira, you don’t mean that,” Angela said.

“I think I do,” Zaira said. Cameron just takes Zaira’s hand and leads her to his car and puts her in the back seat. Cameron then comes back over to me and Angela and Cameron both look at me.

“She’s just upset Julian. She didn’t mean what she said,” Angela said.

“She sounded serious to me,” I said while looking down.

“Listen man Zaira cares about you. She cares about you a lot. She just needs a little time you know?,” Cameron said.

“....Zaira doesn’t deserve this s**t.....and I don’t deserve her,” I said while looking up at them.

“Julian don’t talk like that....just give her time,” Angela said.

“Oh I’ll give her all the time she could ever need.....I have to go,” I said quickly. I quickly turn around and I get in my car and I drive off. I feel tears form in my eyes and I try to stop them from fall, but they do anyway. The last time I cried was when I lost my brother. This hurts me just as bad because now I feel like I just lost Zaira too, for good.

Smh cmon Girl!!! How you gon do this to me?! They were just having a nice time and Antonio's b**** ass gotta f*** everything up. I hope Julian finds her!!! run it!!

@naw21 :-( at that ending. Run it

Don't hate me ya'll!


It’s been four days since Julian told me we had to keep our space for a little while. Honestly I want to understand, but I can’t. I’m hurt. I knew what I was getting into and Julian warned me, but this just isn’t right to me. I can’t just stop spending time with someone that I really care about. I know I will get to see him during the day, but even in just these four days I have barely seen him. Julian has to spend every second of his free time doing school work so he doesn’t get behind and since he spends so much time selling. He is determined to get Antonio his money within three months or less. I understand that I really do, I’m just worried in a sense. I’m just worried that with all the time we are spending apart, we will drift apart. I don’t want that at all. I care about Julian so much. I want to be with him. He is different from any other man I have ever met and I know he cares about me too. He shows me he cares and I understand that he wants to protect me from any harm. I just wish it didn’t feel like he was pushing me away. I just want Julian, so I guess I have to try to make the best of this. I don’t want to be selfish so I want to do what Julian thinks is best for his and mine safety. I know my feelings for him won’t change over these next three months or less. Anyway, it’s Friday night and I am getting to go to a concert off campus with Angela and Cameron. I get dressed in <a href="">this outfit</a> and then I style my hair so it’s completely down and then I put on a bit of makeup. I put on my jewelry and Angela and Cameron come right on time at 8 pm. The concert starts at 9, but we want to make sure we get a good standing spot, since this concert is at a club downtown. The club usually just attracts college students in the area. Anyway, I go to the door and open it and I see Cameron and Angela making out as usual.

“Excuse you two ever take a break?,” I asked. They both pull out of the kiss and laugh and they hug me tight.

“Girl you look beautiful as always,” Angela said.

“Thanks so do you,” I said while smiling.

“And what about me?,” Cameron asked.

“’re look handsome as always,” I complimented. Cameron just smiles big and kisses my cheek.

“Alright you ready to go?,” Cameron asked.

“Yeah let’s go,” I said. I close the door behind me and lock it and we all walk to Cameron’s car.

“Is Julian coming tonight?,” Angela asked.

“I doubt it...I didn’t even ask him I just assumed he would have to do his runs,” I said.

“Oh I know you miss him already. But you know he cares about you, don’t forget that,” Angela said.

“I’re right,” I said. We get in Cameron’s car and he drives the 25 minutes to the club downtown. Once Cameron parks, we all get out and then wait in the line outside of the club. It’s pretty crowded. The concert is an R&B concert for a local singing group. One of Cameron’s cousins is a member of the group so we just wanted to come out and support them. R&B is my favorite type of music so this should be enjoyable for me. Once we are in the club, we all get a drink and then make our way towards the front so we can clearly see the stage. Angela and Cameron are standing next to me. Cameron is standing behind Angela with his arms wrapped around her waist and they are just grinding on each other to the slow music that’s playing. They are so in love. I wish Julian was here though. It would be nice to spend an evening out like this with him. I look around and see mostly couples and I sigh. I want to try to enjoy myself though. At a little after 9, a group of four guys probably around the age of 25 come from backstage and the concert begins. The group has a very nice sound. They remind me of a 90’s R&B group, which is some of my favorite music. Most of their songs are slow, but they are very talented and they can dance as well. I am really enjoying myself. About 20 minutes into the concert, I feel someone’s hands wrap around my waist and pull me close to them. These hands feel very familiar and I gasp in shock. I turn around in the person’s arms and I look up and see <a href="">Julian</a> and I just smile.

“Julian! What are you doing here?,” I asked in surprise.

“Well I just wanted to see you Zaira....Angela and Cameron told me you all were going to this concert tonight, so I wanted to surprise you,” Julian said.

“Ya’ll knew?,” I said to Angela and Cameron. They both smile and nod their heads. I look back at Julian and I hug him tight. Julian steps back away from me and looks me up and down and then spins me around slowly as I laugh.

“Damn look beautiful,” Julian said while looking me in my eyes.

“Thank you Julian....thank you so much for coming. But are you sure you should be here? I thought you would be working,” I said.

“I know I should be at work....but I have been feeling really bad for how things have been between us these past four days so I wanted to do something nice for you.....I did work a bit earlier today and right now I’m just taking a break. Once the concert is over, I’ll get back to my runs.”

“Oh Julian thank you so much for doing this for me, I really appreciate it.”

“No problem gorgeous.” Julian pulls me to him and leans down and kisses my lips a few times. I just smile afterwards and he turns me around and holds me by my waist tightly. My body is pressed right into Julian’s and I love the way this feels. I rest my hands on top of his as we start to sway back and forth together. I could stay like this forever. I turn my head to look up at Julian and he smiles and I smile back. I pucker my lips and he laughs a bit and kisses my lips a few times and I smile then turn to face forward. As we are dancing, I definitely feel Julian’s manhood growing against my lower back. Damn it feels like he is packing!! Ugh he turns me on so much. So many times I have just wanted to have him lay me down and do whatever he wants to me. I would be completely submissive to him. He is so sexy and fine and I have imagined quite a few times what intimacy would be like with him. I think it will be absolutely perfect. I just imagine him being so gentle and caring.

“I like this,” Julian whispered in my ear.

“Me too Julian,” I said back.

“I wish I could come home with you tonight.”

“I wish you could too Julian.” He kisses my cheek and he moves down and gently pecks my neck and I jumped in shock. Damn that felt good!! He better not even try to get me wet right now! Let me focus back on this concert. Another twenty minutes pass and now the group is on intermission. I turn around in Julian’s arms and he smiles at me.

“Are you enjoying yourself?,” Julian asked.

“Yes I am...especially since you came,” I said.

“Aww you’re look so good tonight. I don’t think I can say that enough,” Julian said while laughing and looking me up and down.

“Thank you look handsome as always,” I complimented.

“Thank you....but you Zaira.....damn I have no words to be honest.” I just look down and blush a little bit and Julian lifts up my head to look at him.

“I’m so lucky to have you in my life. I hope you know that. I care about you so much Zaira,” Julian said while looking me in my eyes. I smile and wrap my arms around Julian’s neck and I lean in and kiss him passionately. After the kiss Julian and I just smile at each other. This moment is special to me for some reason. I just feel like we are bonding in a way we have never done before. I don’t want this night with him to end.

“I need to use the restroom really quick,” I said.

“Ok I am going to get a drink. We can walk back that way together,” Julian said. I nod my head and Julian lets go of my waist, but grabs my left hand and locks it with his right hand. We tell Angela and Cameron where we are going and then we walk towards the bar hand in hand. Once Julian is at the bar, I go to the bathroom. I go into the three stall bathroom and take care of my business. I then wash my hands and leave the bathroom. As I am walking down the hallway, the back door to the club suddenly opens. I don’t see anyone so I just keep walking, but then I feel someone roughly grab me from behind, stuff something in my mouth, then put a cover over my head. I try to scream, but I can barely breathe. I am kicking and trying to get away from whoever is holding me, but they are too strong for me. I feel myself being carried and after about a minute I am thrown into a car and the car drives off. The next thing I know everything goes black.......

I made an account just to post on here. I absolutely LOVE this! Like,
I'm in love with it. RUN IT!

aww noooo

I f'n hate Antonio, is it his mission in life to f***e up Julians. That boy was so happy after such a long time of unhappiness and the same man who took away his happiness the first time is doing it again. I don't like that at all. Why why why. Ugh can he just die or get arrested something. His mother and niece love her already and he's got mad feelings for her too. Ugh damn you Antonio. I agree with Julian it seems as if Zaira's saying goodbye. They both were doing so great. Im sad for them now. Ugh. RUN IT!!!!

awwwwwpls make Jul get this dosh in less than 3 months

I like Zaira, I really do and I get what she's saying but she's really not listening. Julian flat out told her that they would be hurt if they continued what they had going on. He even gave her a round about time of when they could pick things back up! Come on Zaira you gotta do better mamas. RUN IT!

Omg this is not cool not fair they deserve to be together Antonio is a b**** he doesn't have to threaten zaira life ugh I feel bad for Julian he wants to be with her so bad and can't and I feel bad for zaira because she doesn't understand or get it that's just some bull

Omg this totally sucks. f*** antonio!!! Ughh Its sucks that they can't even be together right now. Now he has to spend less time with her and more time hustling. smh I wish she would try to understand this. I hope she doesn't push Juju away while their in school. They can talk on the phone, and see each other during the day. I know it won't be the same tho. I hope that really wasn't goodbye. Run it!!

Ladies thank you all so much for your comments!! I love ya'll!! :)


It’s been a little over a month since my mom met Zaira. My mom already loves Zaira and Zaira loves my mom. They have become quite close actually. Zaira gave my mom her phone number so they talk quite a bit. Also Zaira and I have spent every weekend so far visiting my mom and Alexis. Alexis loves Zaira too. Alexis clings to Zaira whenever they are together. I love that honestly. It really makes me happy to see people that I care about get along. I really do care about Zaira to be honest. Things are really good between us right now. We are still just friends and I am just fine with that. I am sensing that Zaira wants to be more though. I mean we kiss every chance we get and we share a bed almost every night, so that would lead to feelings that are stronger than just a friendship. I understand that because I would like to be more than Zaira’s friend, but I don’t want to rush anything. I just hope she can understand that. Anyway it’s Monday evening at around 8 pm and I am on my way to Antonio’s to drop off money and get my stash. I knock on Antonio’s door once I get inside the warehouse and he opens it and looks me up and down. I walk in and he closes the door behind me and glares at me. I wonder what I did?

“How much you got for me today?,” Antonio said. I pull out a small stack of money from my pocket and I hand it to him. He counts it and then looks at me confused.

“$600? That’s it? You made over $1,000 last month,” Antonio said disappointed.

“Yeah that’s’s been slow,” I said.

“It’s been slow huh? You sure about that? You sure it’s not because you have been spending all your time with that pretty young thing? I think her name is...Zaira,” Antonio taunted. I just look at him in complete shock. How did he know about Zaira? This is exactly what I was afraid of.

“....What?,” I asked in shock.

“Word is you and this girl have gotten kind of close.....she’s why you haven’t been working like you use to.....she looks real good though so I see why you would want to spend time with her....her body.....she is thick in all the right places huh? You f**ked that yet? If not, pass her to me, I know just what to do with her,” Antonio said evilly. I don’t know what possessed me to do this, but I pushed Antonio with all of my strength. Too bad he didn’t even stumble. He just laughed a bit and then he punched me as hard as he could in my stomach, causing me to instantly hunch over in pain. I just hold my stomach and look up at Antonio.

“Please.....don’t hurt her,” I said in pain.

“I won’t have to if you pay me my money Julian,” Antonio said. He walks over to me and grabs me by my shoulders to stand me up and he looks at me intensely.

“I want the rest of my money in three months. That’s all the time I am giving you. If you don’t have it by then, you will end up just like your brother. That’s a f**kin’ promise. Now.....if you plan to get that money in time, you better stop spending time with Zaira ok? Just do your job so you can get out this how you want to. Don’t f**k with me either. If I hear about you or see you spending time with Zaira when you should be selling, she will pay for it, not just you. Do you understand me?,” Antonio said intensely. I just nod my head and swallow. He lets go off me and I stumble a bit, trying to catch my breath from his punch. Once I catch my breath, I get my stash and then I leave in a hurry. I get in my car and I just hit the steering wheel in anger. F**k!! I knew this s**t was bound to happen. I knew it. This is why I have no friends or a serious relationship with Zaira. I don’t want to put any person I care about in danger. But it seems to be too late. I don’t know what to do. Zaira deserves to know the truth so I have to talk to her about it tonight. She says she understands, but I need to know that for sure. I will talk to her about this as soon as I am done tonight. I start up my car and I drive off and start my runs. I can’t get what Antonio said out of my mind. It angers me to my core. I swear if anybody hurt Zaira, I would not know what to do. I would feel guilty as hell. I would blame myself. Maybe we should spend some time apart? I don’t want to do that, but I need to keep Zaira safe. If we have to spend three months apart, so we can spend the rest of our lives together, then I would do that. Damn the rest of our lives? I really do care about Zaira. I just hope she cares about me enough to go along with this. Once I am done with my runs, at 3 am this time, I head straight to Zaira’s place. Once I get there I turn of my car and I think. I am trying to figure out what to say, but I just have to be honest. I put my gun and the rest of my stash in the glove compartment and then I get out of the car and lock the doors behind me. I pull out my phone to tell Zaira I am here. Before I even get to Zaira’s apartment, I see her standing at the door waiting for me. She smiles at me and waves and I give her a faint smile. I stand in front of her and she instantly hugs me and I hug her back. She grabs my hand and turns to walk into the apartment, but I don’t budge. She looks at me and I take my hand from hers.

“What’s wrong? You’re not coming in?,” Zaira asked.

“No I can’t. I need to talk to you though,” I said.

“Well you can come in to talk can’t you?,” Zaira asked.

“Zaira....Antonio knows about us. He knows all about you. He knows that I have been skipping work sometimes just to spend time with you and he isn’t happy about that.....he threatened me and you....he says I now have three months to give him his money and if I don’t.....we are both in think we need.....we just need to chill for a while.” Zaira just looks at me with a look of hurt across her face. Damn I don’t like seeing her hurt at all. This hurts me.

“No We have gotten so close and now you just want us to stop spending time together?,” Zaira asked.

“It’s just for three months or less. It depends on how long it takes me to get the rest of Antonio’s money,” I said.

“Julian I can’t just stop spend time with you anymore....I care about you too much to just stop seeing you,” Zaira said.

“Zaira...I’m sorry. I really am....but you said you understood all of this. I need you now more than ever.”

“If you need me then be with me Julian. Don’t just abandon me like this.”

“If you think I want to do this, you’re wrong because I don’t.”

“Julian.....I don’t want to do this though....I just want to be with you......I want you to be with me. I want us to be as a couple.” I just look at Zaira in shock. She wants to be with me? Damn I knew this was coming but this is complicating the situation.

“Zaira.....I don’t know what to say,” I said while looking down.

“Don’t you care about me Julian?,” Zaira asked.

“Of course I do....this is why we need to keep our distance for a while,” I said while looking up at Zaira. She just stares at me as tears fill her eyes. Damn I really do not want to see her cry. She is way too beautiful to cry.

“....I don’t want you hurt you. I promise I don’t,” I said softly.

“I know.....I just....I don’t want to do this Julian,” Zaira said as tears fall down her cheeks. I move closer to her and I gently wipe her tears away while she stares up at me.

“I’m still going to see you Zaira.....but I might not be able to you see at night anymore. I am going to have to work way later than I have been and I can’t keep interrupting your sleep like this and come here at like 4 or 5 in the morning....I need to make this money Zaira.”

“....I know,” Zaira said while looking down.

“Thank you for understanding,” I said. Zaira just nods her head and I lift up her head and she looks at me. I lean in to kiss her lips, but she turns her head so I kiss her cheek instead.

“...What’s the problem?,” I said slightly aggravated.

“....It’s nothing,” Zaira said.

“You got something to say, you might as well say it.”

“It’s avoided the fact that I said I wanted to be with didn’t even say how you felt about it...would you even want to be with me?”

“.....I would but I can’t. Not right now.”

“Or ever huh?”

“No I didn’t say that Zaira. Don’t put words in my mouth like that. I would love to be with you. I would be lucky to call you mine.”

“So then let’s do it Julian. I don’t care about anyone but you. Just trust me and be with me.”

“I can’t right now Zaira...I don’t want you to get hurt. I would feel guilty as hell if something happened to you because of the dumb s**t I am in right now.”

“.....Ok Julian I get it.....I’ll just see you around,” Zaira said. I just nod my head and I kiss her forehead. I turn to leave and head to my car. Why did that feel like a permanent goodbye?

awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Julian and Zee are awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
Karen is a lovely lady and mother

Aww Juju and Zaira are sweet. Important so glad Ms. Karen and Alexis adore her already. I like when she helped cook and stuff. Julian loves his family alot it shows. And maybe soon he can love Zaira the same way. Ms. Karens cool for letting them sleep in the same room too lol. Loved the add Run It