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Diary Of A Wimpy Chris

Chapter 1
Chris P.O.V.

Most people look forward to the holidays but as for <ahref="http://0.tqn.com/d/top40/1/0/O/4/cbrown.jpg ">me</a> it only makes me nervous. Like this whole Santa thing. Just knowing some old bearded man is watching me scares me. That’s why from now on I choose to sleep with underwear on. I don’t need him looking at what I’m packing. Then there’s this “naughty or nice” list that I can’t understand. If there was such a list, then how come I never saw it? My mom tried to pull on me yesterday saying-“Chris is you babysit your little sister, you’ll get something extra from Santa!” I know these are all lies though.

For example there’s my neighbor his names Debo, if any one DESERVES to be on that naughty list its him. Just last year he stole $800 worth of liquor from the corner store. Instead of punishing him, his parents bought him a new car! I don’t know about ya’ll but I don’t know what Santa was thinking. My mom went searching through her old trunk and found a Christmas doll her great grandparents gave her. She said the doll tells Santa all the good and or bad we’ve done. Personally I hate the little bastard. This morning I went to the shower and it was there. The kitchen, it was there! Garage, garden, livingroom IT WAS THERE!!!!

But I think my older brother<ahref="http://www.acrossthefader.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/Wiz-Khalifa.jpeg ">Wiz</a> aka Smokey put it there. We call him Smokey cause you will never catch this nigga WITHOUT smoking. Even when we in church this nigga taking a puff puff give. He says the Lord gave us weed to help out mind. But I know that weed ain’t ding nothing but slowly deteriorating his brain lol. His girl <ahref="http://www1.pictures.zimbio.com/gi/Lola+Monroe+BET+Rip+Runway+2011+Arrivals+fVF8tO3vkt6l.jpg ">Lauren</a> keeps warning him about that, but he don’t listen.

He keeps telling her that he stopped smoking. Of course she don’t believe him. I think any woman can tell when a man is lying. They send a signal all around the world and then it comes back and bites your ass in the ass. Woman can detect ALL bulls***. That’s why I chose not to test them. I walked upstairs into the attic and brought down the Christmas tree that we were putting up today. Don’t get me wrong I loved putting it up but the part I hate is when my mother makes us sing that damn song they song on the Grench Stole Christmas when they were all surrounding the tree. Yeah that’s right my mother made us sing that damn song.

Monday

Right before Thanksgiving break, my school had a contest. The contest was to come up with the best Christmas song and the winner gets to sing it with the one and only DESTINY’S CHILD in New York City live in Manhattan Square infront of billions of people. Now I don’t wanna brag but a brotha can knock girls out the seat. I’m definitely entering that contest. Maybe just maybe then I could get noticed and become popular. But I don’t think it will stop the bullying. Yeah I get bullied a lot around school. Just because I’m skinny and a lil tall and not to mention my soft voice.

We have one of the most memorable bullies in Essex High School. His names Damian Pearly. The day before Thanksgiving there was a anti-bullying assembly and everyone looked at him. I kindna felt bad for the guy but I wasn’t gonna say nothing. I just felt that he was that way for a reason. Not just because he could bully someone, I think there is a reason. To bad I’m not the one he wants to open up too. I try my best to stay in the shadows cause I don’t want to end up with an embarrassing nickname. For instance, in Pre-K a girl named Cassie got stuck with the nickname s***ty Kitty. They called her that cause she ALWAYS took a s*** in her dress before she could make it to the bathroom. If I ever got a nickname like that I’d die of embarrassment.

Teachers always say come to them when you’re getting bullied. Which is a good idea except when the bully is in your neighborhood. I remember a few months ago I was getting bullied by Nasty Nat. I couldn’t figure out why he got that nickname but right now that doesn’t matter. Everytime me and Wiz walked through the neighborhood he’d chase after us with a broken bottle. When I realized the teachers weren’t gonna do s***, I called on my dad. He told me that I should confront the bully. So we went to his house and knocked on the door. We waited for his parents to come to the door, but instead <ahref="http://usversusthem.files.wordpress.com/2007/11/gary-coleman.jpg ">he</a> came to the door. Me and Wiz took off running down the street not looking back.

I guess I should’ve described him more right? Well my dad talked to his mother and she explained that her son was only 5 and he could get out of hand sometimes. Man I don’t care what nobody say that boys a lil thug. My <ahref="http://api.ning.com/files/vUnpg*WjD8QOjo1UAIHc9LvqgRkz2aDj0YGwbjKGBNO4YsuzP6nOeyUI8FC6OO*C*I2iXv7e2QxPWfNEEnEnb9tLa*0K-DdH/willdemps.png">dad</a> was pissed at us for letting ourselves get bullied by a kid in kindergarten. but hell its not liek i stopped to ask him why he was chasing us.

I closed my diary slowly and looked outside at the snow covered ground. By then everyone in the house was sleep. I sighed, I couldn't believe it was snowing already. OH well.....welcome to Virginia. I drew a snowflake on the window and blew on it and watched it disappear. I did that a few times til I heard what sounded like a branch snapping or something. I opened my window and poked my head out...nothing. I almost closed it down when I heard a small female shriek. I looked over to see April. We've been friends for the longest. She's so down to Earth, funny, smart and most of all beautiful. Trust me when I say this girl knows me like the the back of her hand and vise versa. She looked at me smiling.

Hey Chris, what you doing?

Trying to figure out why the hell your up so late, and creeping trynna see me naked. She rolled her eyes as I smiled helping her in. She looked around at all of the decorations my mother put in my room. I sighed feeling embarrassed because it looked kinda girly. I glanced over at her giggling.

What's so funny??

Oh nothing its just your room is so....festive. Must be mama Joyce's idea. I rolled my eyes.

For the last time its Joyce not Joyce. I bet your slightly confused well let me explain. Ever since we were kids she's been calling my mom Joyce like Joe-See not Joy-s the correct way. We always have to remind her.

Yeah yeah, whatever. How about we have some hot cocoa while watching the snow fall down?

Sounds like a plan to me. I snuck downstairs and made us some hot cocoa. When I got back there was soft music playing in the background and April sitting by the window. I walked over and handed her her mug. I laid down beside her now enoying the view. She turned to me.

Cheers.

Cheers for what?

Well you know our friendship anniversary is This Christmas. Sixteen years of dealing with eacho others dramatic interesting life.....cheers.

.....Cheers. We continued to sit there and talk quietly while the snow fell and made a soft white blanket over the streets.

I know it was kinda weak but
Run It? Or Dump It?
P.S. Could someone tell me how to put a pic on here again I so forgot how to do it, thxxies :)