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Today is a day where I realize the depth of my obsession analying down to percision the life of a model, the eloquent handling of the body, and the beauty of a soul. I can feel the connection, the spark like an electrical wire that's broken; down like a busted doll but dressed up in frilly high fashion. I've found looks that work for me, accept all my flaws. I strongly believe my taste in music has set me apart from the females around me that refer to themselves and the females that they surround themselves as b****es defining themselves as spiteful,overbearing, lewd, weak or contemptible, or in slang terms considered a fricking COMPLIMENT are you kidding me?! Or something unpleasant or difficult. Its such a tragedy that these
children of God categories themselves as such low standards. Limiting themselves so when they give up before they see anything being done, leaving opportunities open for others who don't deserve it.
I have all the vitals to be a diva, conservative, humble, confident this generations 50's actress. I'm pretty sure with the help of ANTM and the helpful model 101 they provide yet also most of my inspiration comes from TCM woman like Audrey Hepburn, Rita Heyworth, hmm these classic classy woman that handle every prop and garnmet like it was thee most danity delicate thing in the world. Delivering every line, Provoking an emotion like a canvas, nailing every shot. Incorporating my love for music. Reiterating on my taste of music, ranging from classic pop, the M.J. , britney, Nsync, r&b, Beyonce, Keyshia Cole, Sade, Chris Brown(of course lol) emopunk/rock Fall Out Boy, Paramore, Daughtry (which is definately is not emo or punk lol) striking model poses in the mirror smiling, laughing, crying, being mad at my reflection wearing a mask of the person I'm talking to. It definately is something I can feel inside in the middle part just under your heart but just above your stomach which are usually full of butterflies. Its the feeling of knowing that once I get a voice. I will speak for the young woman who went through and are going through what I went through. The bullies who put people down. Secretly hurting themselves, breaking down the tough girl act and helping them pull out the beauty that's inside. Helping the beautiful young woman who constantly compare themselves, deny their unique beauty, and covering up the truest inner beauty they have.
I see it everyday, I shake my head, and I know if as a random stranger to try to reach out a helpful hand of constructive critisim, unfortunately some people are so far out their they take it as "you trying to play me" no I'm trying to improve your attitude at the end of the day you don't have to face me you have to face your creator.
Going on my second decade and seeing people who are where I was. How I felt and how immature I was. I see where I am now. In the middle, on my way to be where I want to be. I have faith in myself and I believe in my mission therefore I know God will never forsake me. I will never forget where I came from, I need money to survive not to thrive from material worth and value. I posses a whole different range of priorities. Which most people my age say I am crazy. As Marilyn Monroe said "madness is genius, imperfection is beauty, and its better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely stupid." And there you have it. I will not change(only for the better and only if I believe I need a change) and you will not break me.
Waiting for the faithful day Tyra says from week to week a rundown of cash and prizes, a 6 page spread in Seventeen magazine, a 100,000 dollar contract with Covergirl cosmetics, and contract with one of the worlds top modeling agencies(I wonder which one will be up for grabs when I am on hmmm...), meeting the judges the reveal of my photos, the critique, the moving in a big beautiful house, the overseas trip to a beautiful country, the final runway show, the commerial shoots, the photo shoots, the winning challenges, the high fashion world, the girls I'd met, the people, the things I'd see and do, the confessional, the Nigel shoot, the Tyra shoot, the handing me my picture, the trying to stay out of the bottom two, Tyra mail Keeping my composure...I WANT TO BE ON TOP! To the day Tyra says and America's Next Top Model is...
Wildest dream come true.
I was born a country girl in Columbus Georgia Jannah Yasmeen Fraser, which in arabic means Paradise Flower Fraser. Raised in the New City for Yorkies. I have a dream today...