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...* Picture Perfect... (No Frame)Pt 2... {2.6.12}

WARNING: VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED! ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK! MATURE AUDIENCE! Please read
<a href="http://www.chrisbrownworld.com/us/node/725317">...* No Frame</a>
the first part! To Get a BETTER Understanding, BUT I will try make this story to where you may not have to read the first part.

.....* 3 years ago!

- Beautiful,
Please stop crying! PLease dont be mad at me...Josiah...Josiah is gone! I can barely write this letter because I am shaking and so traumatized. I watched him die in front of my eyes babe. He was announced dead at the childrens hospital. Richard was shad's cousin as well as that guy andrew u told me about. I want u to know that there already taken care of as well. Baby I want you to know that I never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever in my life wanted to leave you like this...I love you but I couldn't live another moment on this earth feeling guilty for everything I caused! Why me? What did I ever do to deserve such a life that I had...I only wanted to be loved and u came along and brought me true unconditional love but the pain that's inside of me grew faster and faster everyday. I tried to be happy with my life and at one point I really was. Getting back with u was amazing and then when josiah came, I felt reborn. He is my life and you are 2 baby dont get me wrong....I just couldnt leave him so I decided to go with him. I know that ur heart is destroyed and broken and probably will be a wound forever but just like u found me...Im sure there's another person out there for u 2. I can hear ur knockin and screaming but...something just wont let me open the door...I love u sooo sooo sooo sooo sooo much words can't explain. please gone on and live in london and have janelle and live a good life. I will always be with u in spirit and theres enough in my bank account to where u dont have to ever worry again babe. I been saving for u and u know that.... please believe me when I tell u that I love u, I just couldnt take this pain anymore im sorry ...I didnt know what other way to escape from! I feel like I can finally be happy now....
P.S.- live!
Love you baby...
Love-Chris ;)

I balled up the letter and bend down in front of him still crying.

mya- why....u and josiah? u said u love me BUT WHY U LEAVE ME??? U LEFT ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSEEEEEE.....WHY CHRIS THATS SO SELFISH OF YOU, MS.WHITE TRIED TO HELP U, U SHOULD OF STUCK IT OUTTTT UGHHHH IM SO MAD AT YOUUU, I HATE U FOR LEAVING MEEEEEEEE!! What a birthday for u, (shakin her head) i guess i can just return the ring and not propose to u like i planned today....(sighed and cried)

I felt like the ambulance was taking forever. I didnt understand why chris would leave me like this...I knew he loved me but why...Josiah was gone 2, I felt a connection with him even though he wasnt my biological son. I couldnt explain the pain that was stabbing me in my heart. How could chris and dewayne paint this perfect picture for me...and then both end of up leaving with "No Frame". I got up and went to go look for chris's other gun. I loaded and it could hear the ambulance now arriving. I took a deep breath and looked at chris,I refused to live with "No Frame"...

...3 years LATER!

....* <a href="http://www.google.com/imgres?um=1&hl=en&sa=X&biw=1366&bih=667&tbm=isch&tbnid=Jr2eKQwNSXX87M:&imgrefurl=http://weheartit.com/entry/14909676&docid=Uf-KkiXpwr49OM&imgurl=http://data.whicdn.com/images/14909676/tumblr_lhpipanwjo1qex84no1_500_large.jpg&w=330&h=700&ei=r_XvTt7mCsbqtgeov42BCw&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=502&vpy=350&dur=325&hovh=203&hovw=96&tx=85&ty=106&sig=107431003163364780815&page=3&tbnh=129&tbnw=64&start=46&ndsp=26&ved=1t:429,r:20,s:46"> I </a> Walked into my beautiful London home. It was very different from Miami & Atlanta put together. I looked at my <a href="http://www.google.com/imgres?hl=en&gbv=2&biw=1366&bih=667&tbm=isch&tbnid=-nYnH66SIzhRwM:&imgrefurl=http://www.since1910.com/engagement-ring-blog/ochocinco-engagement-ring/&docid=vGBHEVSJ67RFTM&imgurl=http://www.since1910.com/engagement-ring-blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/Ochocincos-Engagement-Ring-to-Evelyn-.png&w=442&h=537&ei=q_zvTveAM9SUtwfmhoiZBA&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=184&vpy=122&dur=2165&hovh=248&hovw=204&tx=91&ty=127&sig=107431003163364780815&sqi=2&page=1&tbnh=133&tbnw=132&start=0&ndsp=21&ved=1t:429,r:0,s:0">hand</a> and smiled to myself. I felt arms wrapped around me and I turned to see <a href="http://www.google.com/imgres?hl=en&gbv=2&biw=1366&bih=667&tbm=isch&tbnid=IihFOAeqh6fmHM:&imgrefurl=http://popdust.com/2011/12/15/chris-brown-kevin-mccall-strip-video/&docid=Wjv_eO3GSJIBFM&imgurl=http://popdust3.presscdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/chris-brown-strip-video.jpg&w=617&h=413&ei=m_3vTv71GISutwfexPW9DA&zoom=1&iact=rc&dur=587&sig=107431003163364780815&page=1&tbnh=145&tbnw=186&start=0&ndsp=18&ved=1t:429,r:0,s:0&tx=84&ty=59">my fiance'</a>.

I wrapped my hands around his neck and stood on my tippy toes hugging him. He looked at me in my eyes and I looked at him back. He pulled him into another hug as tears fell onto his shirt. "we made it babe.." he whispered into my ear. "noo...you made it" I whispered back. Being grateful for not only my life, but his and <a href="http://www.google.com/imgres?um=1&hl=en&biw=1366&bih=667&tbm=isch&tbnid=xeLWZwHD_ovtzM:&imgrefurl=http://www.thecubiclechick.com/index.php/2011/01/13/tips-for-dealing-with-a-child-who-stutters/&docid=wHzRBEgfo6z7yM&imgurl=http://www.thecubiclechick.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/little-black-girl.jpg&w=355&h=236&ei=DPzvTpPZMJGXtwfpvdy3Cg&zoom=1">our daughter</a>.

RUN IT!!... for the readers that read No Frame. if you are confused, just continue to read all questions will be answered in due time! For those who didn't read n STILL CONFUSED the same applys !!! :)

Comments

run it run it run it please girlie!!!!!!!!!!

smh this was supposed to be a good sequel... might bring it back... nah i take dat back.

might turn this into a short story! lol

...new 2/5/12

The docters and nurses rushed to me and snatched josiah out of my hands and took me to a separate room to get me all cleaned up. I wanted answers. After waiting in the lobby for 6 hours the docters came and approached me.

doc-(sighed)

chris-(shook his head and started to silently cry) he's gone isnt he?

doc- im afraid so...

chris-(nodded0

doc- mr.brown we wa(cut off)

The thunder vibrations bounced off the windows causing me to wake up. I looked around saw something in the bed which looked like a letter. I opened it and it read.

<cite> Dear Dad,
I know your gonna miss me; but dont think that I will ever forget you,or stop loving you, just cause im not around to say I love you. I will always love you, Dad, even more each day. Someday we will see each other soon again. Until then, if you want to adopt a little boy then thats fine with me so you won't be lonely. He can have my room and play with my toys. But if you decide to get a girl then she probably wouldn't like what boys do. I know you will have to get barbies and stuff like that. Dont be sad thinking about me. This is really a neat place. Grandpa met me as soon as I got here and showed me around some, but it'll take a long time to see everything. Wow dadddy, mommy's amazing..I didn't know I had 2 moms until Ms.melanie told me. The angels are so cool, I love to see them fly. Jesus himself took me to see God and guess what daddy? I got to sit on God's knee and talk to him like I was somebody Important. Thats when I told him that I wanted to write you a letter, to tell you good bye and everything. But I knew I wasnt going to be able to write it on my own since im so young. But you know what daddy? God handed me a piece of paper and his own personal pen to write this. I think Janice is the name of the angel who is suppose to be dropping this off. God told me the answer to what you were thinking in your head the day I left. Where was he when I needed him? God said "He was in the same place as me as when his son Jesus was on the cross, He was right there as he is with all of his children. Oh by the way daddy, no one can see this letter and what I've written except you. To everyone else its just a blank piece of paper. Isnt that cool? I have to give God his pen back now. Tonight I get to sit at the table with Jesus supper. I cant wait, I know the food will be yummy. Oh well, I almost forgot to tell you not to hurt anymore. God said it was my turn thats why he sent me an angel of mercy to come and get me. The angel said I was a special delivery! God taught me how to write this and im so happy. I love you daddy.
Love, Josiah </cite>

I woke up panting and crying out of my sleep. I looked at my clock and it was 4 in the morning. It was raining outside and the thunder was sending vibrations through the windows. I looked in my bed for a note or a letter and didnt find one. It was a dream. This had to be some type of message. I looked around as if I was lost and continued to crying. I cried so hard... hard like I just looked at josiah yesterday. I got my phone and called mya. She didn't answer and I hit myself in the head and couldn't stop my tears from falling. I knew josiah wanted me to stop hurting but I couldn't it was like my life was made for me to hurt. I stop once I felt cold breezes past my way. I looked around and sniffed as I began to start getting a stuffy nose.

"josiah...If your in this room...to know that.. " I sighed and tried my best to keep my composure. I couldn't hold in and started to break down some more "I just want u to know that daddy loves you very muchhh....I misssss you soooo much, words cannot explain! I bet you've grown up to be a nice young toddler (I laughed a lil) so far, Im glad that your in the right place because Im starting to finally believe that God makes no mistakes...." I said softly. I needed to be right with God before I could be right with anything else in my life. I needed to be delivered and saved or I'd always be emotionally scared and mentally bruised. I sighed and whipped my tears after crying for another 10 minutes. I looked up at the ceiling and said..."Josiah, tell God to help me please..." I kissed my hand and waved it to the ceiling sending josiah a kiss.

Another major thing that made me sad was the fact that mya didn't answer my phone calls and it was during the day in Uk at this time and then she knew I loved janelle just as much as josiah. Her saying those hurtful words cut me deep in my heart. I don't think we'd ever be the same. She use to be sooo special, she still is but everything we've been through you'd think that we'd be good. Noo things just never seemed to be right ever. I missed her and janelle. I wanted to be in their presence and hold both of them tight. I just wanted my whole family back including josiah. I sighed to myself and laid back on the bed starring at the ceiling listening to the thunder and hail hit the windows. I decided I was gonna visit everybody's graves tomorrow so I could finally realize and leave everything there and move on and be happy. I was gonna try my best not to hurt anymore after tomorrow. Since mya isn't here with me, I knew I was gonna need my mom there for support.

I drifted off to sleep while letting my mind wonder to where ever it wanted to go. I woke up to the sun beaming in my eye. It was pouring last night but the way the sun was shining, I knew that today was gonna be a different day. Today was gonna be a special day, you know they say "Joy comes in the Morning" well today was gonna be joyful. I got up and dressed. I saw my mom still sleep so I decided to make her breakfast in bed. "thank you baby..." She said smiling. I smiled and kissed her forehead "your welcome" I said. "you look tired..."She said looking into my eyes. I sighed and looked at her "I had a long night but Im ok...ill probably take a nap later on today" I said. "ohhh ok, have you talked to mya and janelle yet?" She asked me. I shook my head "nahh but I will...I will.." I said. She nodded "okay baby..." She said. I walked out of her room and headed out with her car.

I first stopped by the rental services to rent me a car so I wouldn't have to keep using my moms. Someone drove the rental car to my moms house while I returned it and i had to drop the person back at the rental place. Once I left there I headed to visit leah's grave. Matts grave was in atlanta so I couldn't see his but I planned on it maybe..one day. I walked to her tombstone and had flowers in my hand. I placed them down and looked around at the great weather.

"how you hanging in there girl?" I said laughing. "I know that your in a better place...don't worry, Ima make everything right between me and mya...I know ur probably mad at the both of us right now for being stupid" I said laughing and then got a lil serious. "you were always there to help me when I needed you most, thank you for being my friend and mya's friend to...I love you so much leah and when I walk away from hear....Im just going to have to accept that ur not coming back and that one day were gonna meet again...I promise! I love you" I said letting a tear from my eye. I walked away and headed to josiah's grave. Once I got there I put down flowers as well. I looked at his name written on his tombstone and saw angel wings craved in it. I smiled to myself. "what an amazing person you were, you will never be forgotten and you will always be in my heart where ever I go josiah....your mother melanie would say the same thing and I know your in good good good hands now that your with God and Jesus and all of the other angels spreading their glory and grace upon you.. Stay precious, sweet, and loving as I know you are. I love you sooo much josiah and when I leave here today I vow that I will forever fully accept that you will not be coming back but I will be seeing you soon one day. I understand you dont want me to hurt and all I ask of you is to not get mad at daddy when he has his moments... I promise that I will do everything in me to try and Live from this day forward" I said letting tears fall from my face.

I bent down and kissed his tombstone and a headache was growing in my help very quickly. I smiled and whipped them away and sighed. I looked around a few more seconds and took in a breath of fresh air as the wind blowed. I walked off and smiled. I got into my car feeling like a whole new person. I was glad that I was able to do that and I was gonna pray to God that all the commitments I set for myself I was going to be able to stick by them. Now all I had to do was get mya back and keep her because losing her and being away from her wasn't going to be right. I was noticing how much I couldn't live without her.

....more to come!!!

people need to read my frame so they can read this sequal :(

thanks!

SO much goin on between those 2. s*** is mos ded not good at this point in time. I never knew Mya felt like Chris didn't love Janelle. She is being selfish tho. Josiah was his first born and was takin away from Chris at such a young age. Mya on the other hand still has her first born. I'm not sayin she didn't love Josiah but its different because he wasn't hers. Update Soon

SO much goin on between those 2. s*** is mos ded not good at this point in time. I never knew Mya felt like Chris didn't love Janelle. She is being selfish tho. Josiah was his first born and was takin away from Chris at such a young age. Mya on the other hand still has her first born. I'm not sayin she didn't love Josiah but its different because he wasn't hers. Update Soon

if your a silent reader please comment!!!

contd...

I got my things out the car and headed into her new home. I got settled and then came down in the living room where she was at. I looked at my phone and didn't see anything from mya, no texts, missed calls no nothing. I sighed and put my phone back in my pocket. "son...she'll come around" She said to me. I looked at her and "i don't think...not this time ma, I think were done for good" I said softly. "well what happened?" She said. "its a long story.." I said. "well just know that God has a plan for both you all so,leave it up to him" She said. I nodded and then focused on the tv. "so how you liking miami still?" I asked her.

"its lovely you know I got me a lil boo thang" She said smiling. I looked at her serious "you think thats funny ma?" I said. "chris you expect me to be without love?" She said. "ur a widowed and u should stay that way" I said. "well your father would want me to be happy and if being happy with someone else was what it takes then..." She said. I shook my head and got up. "Ion wanna hear dat sht.." I said going up the steps to the guest room. I plopped out on the bed and stared at the picture of my family as my background of my iphone4. I smiled and decided to call janelle. I called the house phone twice and no one answered so I called mya's phone and she didn't answer. I was starting to think she was ignoring me so I just left a message.

<cite> Aye..when u get this have janelle call me! I miss her...bye </cite>

I wanted to keep it short because I didn't want her to think that I was missing her even though I was but I wanted her to feel the pain she been causing me ever since she broke us off. I decided to wash my flight off and get into a different set of clothes and walked downstairs to see my mom cooking. "mmm it smells good in here" I said. She laughed "well since your going to be down here for a while you need to find yo ass a job and maybe a car cause u not gonna be running up my gas like that chris" She said. I mocked her words and she hit me playfully. "ma im sorry about earlier...I want u to be happy 2 but...I just miss dad thats all" I said softly getting serious. "Yea I know...I miss him 2, and its ok..I understand how you feel, I really hope that u and mya can work whateva needs to be worked out not for the sake of you guys but for jos- (she shook her head) I meant janelle" she said. "yea..I tried to ma, she said her and janelle would be fine...do you think im wrong for leaving?" I asked her. "well I mean..apart of you wanted to if you went ahead and did it but if you didn't want to leave chris you would of still been in london" My mom said. "Im bout to go...catch up on my city" I said. She looked at me like I was crazy "not in my car" She said. "come on ma..just for tonight" I said. She rolled her eyes. "dont get too comfortable in my sht, you aint too old for me to whoop yo ass chris" She said. I laughed and took her keys and left.

I decided to ride around town to familiarize my memory. Im glad my mom didn't stay in ATL because thats somewhere I definitely wasn't gonna go back to, but now that I think about it everywhere we went was trouble. Hopefully all of that was over and done wit. I rode around for about an hour just sight seeing and decided to stop at a local bar just to get some drinks. I walked in and took a seat and order some grey goose. I wasn't gonna touch the ciroc because I knew that was a drink that gets me fcked up if I drink too much and then I was driving and don't need to be getting pulled over. I laughed at my thoughts and drank some of my drink. I tipped the bartender and she smiled at me. I checked my phone and mya still didn't return my phone call so I decided to call again. I waited for an answer and right before I was about to hang up mya answered the phone. "what chris.." she said in annoyed tone. I screwed my face up because her attitude was really unnecessary. "put janelle on the phone" I said. "she's sleep..." Mya quickly lied. I knew she was lying because I can hear janelle playing around in the background. "mya I swear to God if your gonna try to keep me away from my child, Ill take u to court and get custody of her just like I did josiah" I said. "well she's not josiah ..." She said. "what the fck is that suppose to mean?" I said getting upset. "chris I dont have time to argue with you ok..janelle is about to go to school she doesnt have time to talk " Mya said nonchalantly. I had to remind myself that we were now in totally different time zones.

I looked around the bar and tried to make sure that nobody was gonna hear what I was about to say. I put the phone closely to my mouth "fck you mya..fck you, ion know why you being such a btch..let me speak to my daughter" I said slightly yelling but trying to remain quiet. The bartender looked at me and then I looked at her and went outside. "FCK YOU CHRIS, YOU DIDN'T EVEN WANNA PICK JANELLE UP FROM SCHOOL AND NOW ALL OF A SUDDEN YOU WANT TO TALK TO HER, YOU DON'T EVEN LIKE HER FOREAL ALL YOU FCKING CARE ABOUT IS JOSIAH YOU DONT WANT HER" She yelled through the phone. At this point I was glad I was all the way in miami because I swear If I was in mya's presence I would of fcked her up. I try not to put my hands on her because no women deserves that and a real man doesn't do that but she had me boiling to the extreme right now and at this point in our relationship I wanted to throw my hands up and not even try again. SHe wasn't the same and maybe I wasn't either but I loved janelle just as much as josiah how dare she say that. "Mya how dare you say that, I love janelle just as much josiah, you never heard me say I don't like my own child" I said on the verge of tears. "BULLSHT CHRIS...I can tell by the way you interacted with josiah....its not the same, you don't love her or me thats why your done...chris please (she started to cry) please dont call here anymore..." She hung up in my face. I wasn't done and tried calling her back but every single time it went straight to voicemail.

"FCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK" I shouted to myself. I whipped my tears and went back inside the bar and sat at the bar. I put my head down and sighed. I bit my lip trying not to cry anymore. "I need another drink.." I said to the bartender. "you sure?" she asked me. "yea yea yea...Im sure..hurry up" I said getting frustrated. "ok..." she said. She made me another drink and I drunk all of it in three gulps. "you better slow down if your driving" She said. I looked at her in disgust "why are you so fcking nosey?" I said not giving a damn how rude I came across. "excuse me... im sorry for being concerned" She said. "well I don't NEEEDDD no stranger being concerned about me iight, you don't know sht so keep it that way just do your job and I need another drink by the way" I said. "im not making u another drink especially not with you disrespecting me on my job" She said. "Lady, I don't give a damn if you were off the clock...you know what, fck it ill go somewhere else and get some fcking drinks" I threw the money at her for my last drink and some people saw it and started talking. I heard her call me a btch but that wouldn't be the first I've been called one so it didn't mean sht to me. I got into the car and drove around looking for another bar. I looked at my phone and saw that it was about to be 12 in the morning.

I ended up going to another bar and decided since I was single that I needed to explore my options. I had got 3 btches numbers and almost went home with one but I had to remember I had my mom car with me. I told her that we'd fck maybe tomorrow or some sht because I was tied up. I got into the car and headed home. I was a lil tipsy but still was aware of my surroundings and what I was doing. I got home and walked inside to my mom snoring all the way from her room. I heard some movement going around and I stopped to listen. I didn't hear anything and thought that I'd might of been going crazy. I started to walk up the steps and I heard some noise again. It was pitch black in my house and so I went closer to the noise and sounded like it was coming from the kitchen. I opened the light in the kitchen and saw a damn puppy. When did my mom get a fcking puppy? I sighed and then went upstairs and went into my room for now and plopped on the bed. I didn't have the energy to take off my clothes as I drifted off to sleep in them.

...new

I stared at my phone at a picture of me and mya. I smiled to myself and a tear escaped my eye. I whipped it quickly and looked out the plane window. I was off to my mom's house back in Miami where me and mya left her 3 years. My mom thought I was coming just for a weekend but little did she know I was there to stay. I called my mom once the plane landed and she came and picked me up from the airport. I gave her a long hug and kissed her check. "its good to see you ma" I said to her still huggin her tightly. I let go after a while and she smiled "its good to see you 2" She responded. She looked at me and my luggage and said "I thought u were staying for a weekend" She asked looking at me crazy. I laughed and put my things into her car and went to the drivers side. "you hungry?" I said starting the car. "don't get to comfortable...u need to answer my question chris" She said. I sighed "ion kno how long im stayin ok..me and mya are done" I said.

"AGAIN?" She said. I looked at her and got sad and said "yea..." She patted me on the shoulder I drove to her new house which was on the other side of miami from the house my old house and from leah's house. I looked around what used to be my town and grew disgusted in my stomach. I hated that mya kicked me out because where else the fck was I gonna go. I didnt have a choice but to be back in the same hell hole I was trying to get out of. My looked at me and sighed. I went to her house and unloaded my things.

okay...just the beginning I got sidetracked and gonna finish where I lefted off sometime tomorrow

thanks nic!

She needs to stop him from leavn she knows data not what she wants run it

contd...

...New!

I decided to get some fresh air. I couldn't believe that mya wanted to take a break. AGAIN! Like what the fck! I was really getting tired of the bullsht. This was all beginning to be too much to bare. Mya was the only person I wanted to be with and I really wanted to be with her for the rest of my life and for her to say she didn't want to be engaged anymore really cut deep. I sighed thinking about what just went on. I sat in my car and called my mother.

She was back in miami still in the old house me,mya,and her used to live in doing better then ever. I listened for her voice and she finally picked up. "hey baby!" She said pickin up. I smiled listening to her voice "hey ma..." I said. "how are you..." I said. "oh im great....how's everything with you and mya, the baby?" She asked. "were great ma..janelle is learn more and more you know...we good" I said quickly lyin. "aww that good baby, I miss yall..yall need to come and visit me sometimes" She said. "well I was thinkin maybe I could come and visit you like maybe this weekend, Im free and I miss you2 so...what do you say?" I asked praying she'd say yes or I'd just have to bombard her. "oh yea baby, you can come anytime...that would be lovely, I can't wait to see you...its just you?" she asked. "yea, janelle has school to attend and you know mya working so..." I said. "yea...yea ok then babe ill see you" she said. "ok i love you" I said. "I love you 2 chris" she said hangin up.

The relationship with me and my and mom has definitely progressed for the better. I was happy that I was able to set aside everything that she accused me of in the past aside just to make things right with her. I drove around to get some fresh air and went to get something to eat. Once I was done doing me I decided to go back home and get my stuff together. I walked through the door and heard mya and janelle playing at the table eating. "daddy, you want some macoroni?" janelle asked turning around in her seat. "no baby, you go ahead and eat" I said without makin eye contact to mya. I walked up the steps ,got in the shower and got into some sleeping wear.

...Mya

I got janelle all settled down for bed after eating her dinner and giving her a bath. I walked into the room and saw chris looking at the ceiling. I went into the bathroom and stripped and washed up for about 15 minutes. I came out and saw chris laying that same spot. I looked at him and continue to lotion up my body and put some night clothes on. I got in the bed and every once in a while I looked up at chris and he was still staring at the ceiling. I sighed out loud and shut my eyes. I felt movement and I guess he was leaving so I opened my eyes. "where are you going?" I asked him. "im starting to pack my stuff...im leaving this weekend" he responded really dry. "this weekend?" I asked confused and sat up in the bed watching him throw some of his clothes into a luggage. "yea, this weekend...aint this what you want?" he stopped looking at me. I looked at him and didn't say anything. "exactly..." he said proceeding with backing his clothes. I looked around and then sunk into the sheets that were on the bed and started to go to sleep. I felt chris come back in the bed about 30 mins later. I felt his arms wrap around me and whispered in my ear "im gonna miss this the most..." He kissed my neck and let go. I didn't want him to let go, I wanted to be in his touch forever. I was gonna miss him holding me at night 2. Tears started to develop in my eyes and I couldn't find myself to go back to sleep anymore. Was this really what I wanted?

**WILL ADD MORE TOMORROW**

thanks guys :), i know where I wanna go with the story I just get stuck sometimes!

I appreciate u guys for pushing me to keep this going and still reading it means a lot

Dmn dey takin a break I hope they get bac together quick n that Chris doesn't do anything stuipid run it

Aww they're takin a break :/. I hope he doesn't do anything stupid either, you know how he can be. Hopefully he is still holding up when Mya talks to him again. Update Soon

... 1.14.12 NEW!

I drove home and whipped the rest of my tears. How dare that btch laugh just because she doesn't own the daycare anymore. Well btch I wouldn't want u to be the owner anymore if I knew a child went there and you half the reason he or she gone. I went back home. I rolled me up a blunt because at this point I really wanted to go back and find ms.flowers and f*** her ass up. I didn't understand what the fck her point was of coming up to me. I would of been so much better off then seeing her fcking face. I really didn't need to be smoking because me and mya just made up about this sht but I couldn't take it no more. I needed this to be off of me. I started rolling up a blunt and started getting high as fck.

...with mya

I was at work stressed out cause all these damn people were coming to me with there problems and I had my own. Thats what they say about psychologist, psychiatrist,and social workers. I was a family therapist and was takin online classes to get my masters in psychologist. I was soo damn stressed out. I just couldn't stop thinking about what chris did and how he filled out like the way he did. I shook my head thinking about it. I did like the make up sex though, I can't lie. I love him sooo much and now that I think about it, I was so stupid for actually believing trey and being with him. I shook my head as a lot of thoughts started to run through my head. I pulled out my phone to text chris <strong> "are you picking up janelle from daycare?" </strong> I put my face in my hands while I waited for my next clients. I looked at my phone and saw a text from chris. <cite> " nawl, why you can't go get her? ion want 2" </cite> . I re-read the text because this didn't sound like chris at all and plus I had to re-read it to make sure I wasnt trippin. I was now getting extremely upset and I was already stressed from him and other sht. <strong> "what the fck you mean you don't feel like getting YOUR daughter?" </strong> I texted back angry. I didn't even wait unti he text back. I told my secretary I had to go check on my fiance.

I got in my car and went straight home. I got there and saw chris's car. I walked in and didn't see him. I started walking toward our room and can smell weed. I was so upset tears instantly started forming. I stopped in my tracks thinking about whooping his ass or just walking away. I slid on the down on the wall and started crying silently. All that bullsht he was saying "ima stop, believe me baby, this and that". I shook my head and continued to cry and THEN he was in OUR room. I definitely want my sht smelling like fcking weed. I whipped my tears and can hear chris moaning from the room. My face instantly screwed up and got up and busted the door open to him on the bed playin wit his dck. It took all of me not to get turned on. He looked at me with red eyes "baby bring dat sexy ass over here..." He said. I walked up to him and looked at him and sat on the bed next to him as he continued. "mmmmm"he moaned bitin his lip. "im hungry, let me eat dat pussy" He said. I shook my head and started to take the ring off my finger. I placed it on the nightstand and he didn't even noticed and walked out. I coughed to try to refrain from crying but he was just getting on my nerves so bad now a days, I didn't even want him anymore.

I went back to work and did what I had to do before my shift was completed and I went to go pick janelle up from work. "hey baby" I said to janelle. "hi mommy..." She said. I snapped her in her booster seat. "I have fun at my school.." She said. I looked at her and smiled. "thats good..im glad you did" I said walkin to the drivers side. I got in and took off and drove home. Once I got there I took janelle out and held her hand as we walked to the front door. I opened it with my key and we walked in. "did they give u anything for me?" I asked her. She shook her head no and ran upstairs. "be careful" I yelled after her. I started walking into the kitchen. I heard footsteps behind me and knew it was chris and I really wasnt prepared for whateva was coming. I turned around and he was holding up <a href="http://www.google.com/imgres?num=10&um=1&hl=en&authuser=0&biw=1366&bih=667&tbm=isch&tbnid=OC3AAQ-imJxuEM:&imgrefurl=http://www.hollywoodcelebgossips.com/2010/11/17/evelyn-lozada-is-chad-ochocincos-fiancee-gets-10-carat-diamond-ring-phohos/&docid=c-gklh29TawGbM&imgurl=http://www.hollywoodcelebgossips.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/Evelyn-Lozadas-Engagement-RIng-from-fiance-Chad-Ochocinco.png&w=429&h=448&ei=P2AST-6sFsalsQK3x9DBCw&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=601&vpy=136&dur=534&hovh=229&hovw=220&tx=93&ty=104&sig=107431003163364780815&sqi=2&page=1&tbnh=143&tbnw=146&start=0&ndsp=20&ved=1t:429,r:2,s:0">my ring</a> up eye level. "Why was this on the counter..you forgot it today or something?" He asked me. "no...I didn't" I said turning back around. "hol on wait...what u mean u didn't , why weren't u wearing it" He asked me getting infront of me.

I looked at him and sighed "chris u saying all this sht like ima do this, ima do that, ion have time for ima do this n that- your not on your sht like u said u would be n the sad thing is, i know that its not gonna happen over night but damn u not even making an effort...u just had to get high today huh?" I asked him. "baby, u don't understand what kind of day I had...im sorry" He said. "SORRY DOESN'T CUT IT" I yelled. "why aren't u wearing ur ring?" He asked. "because...(i bit my lip and thought about what I was really gonna say) I..I just don't want to be engaged anymore right now...that all" I said with tears slowly developing. He laughed a lil trying to disguise his hurt. "So..thats it, u just make decisions for us like that?" He said. I nodded "yea..i guess" I said. "when did that start?" He asked. "when u started not considering my feelings" I said. There was a long awkward silence and both of us stood there until chris finally spoke. He cleared his throat "soo..u don't want us..anymore either?" He voice sounded cracky. I sighed and held back my tears. "I think its best that we need a break..thats all, maybe when we think things through we can come back together" I said letting a tear fall. "look at me mya" He said. I turned my head and looked at him and saw a tear fall from his eye "do u know what u doing? and are u sure this is what you want?" He said. I bit my lip and paused for a second "yea..im sure, I guess i'll give u like a month or so for u to get ur things, janelle and I will be fine" I said putting my head down. I heard movement and looked at chris putting my ring on the counter. He walked up to me and hugged me. I hugged him back and after a while I tried to pull back because I thought that was it but he wouldn't let me go. I started to feel wetness hit my back and I assumed his tears were falling from his eyes. "I looove u" He whispered and sniffed. I shed a few tears hearing those words "i love u 2" I said back. He left go and whipped his tears. He took my chin and brought me close to his lips. We shared a passionate kiss that felt like forever. This kiss was so surreal it felt like we were in the movies and I was fallin in love with him again for the first time. We rubbed our noses together and we both smirked a lil. Chris pulled back looking at me with puffy eyes and and made :/ that expression and walked out the kitchen and walked toward the door and left. I watched him as he left thinkin what have i've done. I pray he wasn't going to do anything stupid...

yes lol

I don't recall.
I should probably read it shouldn't I - to avoid confusion.

lol ive gotten better over time yes lol i can say...

have u read the first part of this?

You are good at sex scenes.
Like, what's up? Lol.

Run it.

lol ok nic! ima be thinking of something, my mind go blank if ion continuesly add

Keep goin

should I continue this or no? cause i don't think anyone is reading it
but 2 ppl besides myself lol

thanks :)

Aww damn! Ms. Flowers why you gotta come back and f*** s*** up? I hope chris doesn't hurt himself. But on the plus, Janelle is too cute. Update Soon

thanks nic :)

Dmn WTF run it

...NEW!!!

I woke up next to mya. I smiled to myself. We have definitely have come a long way. I got out the bed and thought about how I put it down on dat ass. I laughed to myself and went into the shower. Once I got out the shower I got dressed and mya was still sleep. I shook my head while I passed her. I went into janelle’s room and I ran her some bath water. I picked her up and got her up. I smiled at her and took her clothes off. “wheres mommy?” she asked. “she’s sleep” I said.

I put her in the bath tub and went back to get some of her toys and put them in the water with her. I sat on the toilet and watched her play for a lil while. I kneeled down infront of her and started bathing her. “daddy I want some pancakesss” she said with her lil voice. I looked at her and laughed “oh really?” I said. She nodded her head. “okay” I wrapped her up in a towel and picked her up like she liked it. It made her feel special when me or mya would hold her like that in the towel. I took her to her room and lotion her up and got her dressed. I sat her down infront of me and started gathering things for her hair. I started combing her hair and she started whining "ooowwwa daddy...I want mommy to do my hair" She whined. "well mommy's still sleep so im doing it" I said. She continued to whine while I did her hair into several pigtails all around her hair. I picked her up and looked at her. “alright you gonna read your book in the living room while I make your pancakes?” I asked her. “I want to watch dorraaa” She said. I looked at her “okay but after that you should try reading a book” I Said. She nodded and walked out her room. I headed to the kitchen and started to get breakfast started.

I knew Janelle was only 3 years old but still. I wante her to be smart by the time she did actually start reading. I started making breakfast and felt hands wrap around my waist. I turned around and saw mya. I smiled and she smiled to. I pecked her lips “good morning beautiful” I said. “good morninggg…” She said in a happy tone. I shook my head. “what?” she asked. “I knew you were missing the d*** that’s why yo ass had an attitude problem” I said. “whateva chris…..mmmm that smell good, you making me some?” she said. “hell nawl” I said. She sucked her teeth. “mommmmyy” Janelle came running. “ Hey baby” Mya said laughing at the same time. “ma listen to my abc’s …A, B, C D” She sung and I started singing with her. “NOOO DADDY I CAN DOO ITT” She whined. I laughed and she continued. I hopped back in the song and she stopped again. “daddy stop it” She said. “quit chris she trynna say her abc’s “ mya said. I laughed and put my hands up in surrender “iighttt” I said.
In about 35 more minutes breakfast was finished and we ate together like a family. Janelle and everyone else ate all of there food. I got ready to get janelle’s stuff for daycare. “iight bae, me and Janelle are gone” I said kissing mya. “okay im about to leave and go to work as well” She said. “ok..” I got Janelle and left. I put her in the car and took her to daycare.

After dropping her off I stopped by a coffee shop because I didn’t get a chance to make any. I walked in and stood in line and waited my turn “what can I get for you sir” She said. I gave her my order and received my coffee. I walked away mocking her british accent on my way to my seat. I sipped on my coffee and then saw some lady pass me and then stop . She approached me like I hope she wouldn’t I just didn’t feel
like being bothered.

“um sorry…chris?” She said. I looked up and looked at the lady like I knew her. She was really familiar but I couldn’t think of her name. “yes..” I said. “mind if I sit down?” She asked. “sure.” I said. She sat down and looked at me. I laughed a lil “may I help you?” I said. “i- im sorry…you must not remember me…my name is Ms.Flowers, you used to bring your lil boy to my daycare” She said. I stopped sipping my coffee and stared at her. “im really sorry about ur lost chris, (she laughed a lil) your not the only one who lost because I don’t own that place anymore and that’s why im here..” She used gestures as she spoke. I looked at her with tears developin in my eyes “I should of came back and killed yo ass too..” I said really cold. She looked confused “chris Im no-“ She said. I cut her off and started getting upset “BULLs***, IF YOU WAS AT WORK LIKE YOU WAS SUPPOSE TO BE THEN HE WOULD STILL BE ALIVE” I said as tears were streaming down my face. Attention in starbucks was all on me and I really didn’t give a f***. What was the purpose of this lady coming over here anyway? “chris I didn-“ I cut her off and threw my hot ass coffee in her face. She gasped and screamed a lil, I heard some of the employees said I had to leave but little did they know that I was on my way.. “I hope you burn in hell” I said before exiting.

I walked to my car and slammed my door shut. I banged on the steering wheel and started to break down… Tears kept streaming down and down my face. I pulled out the picture that I had in the glove compartment of Josiah and looked at it. It was a picture of him when he was a lil baby, it was adorable. I smiled a lil to myself as I couldn’t take my eyes off of the picture. I sighed heavily.

“I miss you soooo much, words can’t explain how much I don’t go a day without thinking about you. Everything is just all my fault, I should of gave shad and the rest of them what they wanted… (I shook my head) Im soooo sorry Josiah, I lied to your mom…sometimes I still have suicidal thoughts because that’s how empty I am without you…I just cant tell her that because I know she will feel hurt and like she’s not helping me be happy. I walk around here like Im whole again when im not happy with life at all…im jobless for the second time in my life. I wish God would of just took me the first time and I wouldn’t have to go through this s***…..WHYYY GOOOOODDDD” I cried and spoke out loud to myself.

*** sorry for the wait, i had writers block
RUN IT :)