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Without Him: The Truth... chapter 12 is FINALLY up

<strong> Introduction </strong>

When you cover truths with lies, the truth erupts like a volcano leaving many heartbroken. I guess that was my case. All my life I was told that my father was dead and he had died of a heart problem. Somehow he knew just the way to solve this pain it had left my mother. That was, to leave her letters and leave letters for me also, just so his memory would live on. I grew up thinking that he was the best father any one could ever have. I went to high school meeting so many folks who didn’t know their dads because he upped and left them. But I was fortunate to have a step-father who loved me as his own.

The letters my dad left for me each year made me happy. I looked forward to the letters more than I looked forward to the money. His letters were always light-hearted and I always rushed home to get to read it with my mom and Chris. I remember for my 6th birthday, Chris wasn’t there with us. I wasn’t mad. I was more upset because I thought I made him mad. I was never given a good reason as to why he was never around, but he’s been around ever since so I dare not dwell on the past.

Things did change however. My 16th birthday came and his letter ripped my heart to shreds. The truth finally came out. Now I wanted to get a gun and hold it to his head.

I don’t care if they come after me. My whole life they lied to me. My whole life they led me to believe that this scumbag was 6ft under.

My world was officially over.


I miss writing this story
I miss Ni-Yah
This story was just ahhhhh
I loved writing it
I'm going to try again soon.

1st lot of assignments will be out the way.

lost track of time
and im tired
and have LOTS to do tomorrow
so might not run it till wednesday :(

gonna try run this later on
i have so much to do :(

Aw Ny all grown up and im so proud of how she turned out. Lil D and Shandra too.
I cant believe Terrell had something to do with her rape.! What was his part and how
did she find out.?

Please run it toya.! You better not end this.!!!!

Ohhh My baby grown now :) I am so proud that she took her negatives and turned them around.

*gassssp* NO HE DID NOT !!!!!.That limp d*** f***er !! Why would he ever?? We need answers.

I can't wait to meet her new boy toy :)

Runnnnn It !

Toya don't play woman!!

Urgh... No runs?!

I should leave yall without finishing the story then

<strong> Chapter 12 </strong>

My past made me who I am today and gave me the ability to go up before many young people and reason with them. Parents are never what we wish them to be. There is always a flaw with them but we have to learn to appreciate them, or find the smallest good in them to cover the bad. Today I had a question and answer session with some young people down at the studio. They all knew about my biological father and the mess he caused in my life. I wrote a book which spoke about my life growing up, most of the things I remember is all thanks to my countless diaries that I kept.

“As I sit back and reminisce about my past, I have to say a huge thanks to my parents and God. If it had not been for them, I wouldn’t be the woman I am today.” Were the words that left my lips as I spoke into the microphone. “My name is Ni-Yah Sabreena Mitchel. I am 23 years old, a successful fashion designer and singer. My life was a gift from God. I may have had a father who was emotionally separated from me, but he did love me enough to leave me with funds to cover me up until I was 18 years old.”

I looked at my audience as I took a deep breath and paused. I wasn’t sure if I was to continue or not for none of their faces gave me any hint as to whether they were interested or not. I wouldn’t be surprised if they wanted me to shut up now for I had spent the whole day telling them my life story. As I contemplated continuing with what I was saying, I saw a hand slowly going up in the far right corner. “The young man with the snapback, go ahead.” He stood up and stepped to the microphone that was closest to him. “Now that you focus on your past, do you think you could forgive your father?” I chewed my lip as I tried to think of an honest answer and swallowed hard before replying to his question. “I can’t forgive him for some of the things he did. You know, shooting me, pretending I wasn’t his child when I was at his other family’s house. But I do forgive him for the lies as they were covered with his thoughtful notes he left each year for me.” The young man told me thanks and took his seat.

“Any more questions?” I asked to get an immediate response of hands shooting up from every corner of the room. “Yes, the young lady in the yellow jeans at the front.” “I have never met my dad and he has never been around for me. Is it wrong that I want to meet him?” “No it isn’t wrong. Everyone has a right to at least know who their parents are. Each of you in this room has a right to know the other person who was involved in creating you.” “But if they aint around for you then why should you give them the time of day?” Someone shouted out at me. “To at least know something about them. You don’t have to be buddies with them, but at least you will know who they are.”

I sighed as I questioned myself. Was it really believable when I said that to them? Do I even believe what I said?

“Do you ever wish you didn’t wish your dad?” A young lady asked, she looked no more than 15 years old and her tone of voice told me that she was planning to meet with her dad soon. “Yes. There are times I hate the fact that I met him. But I’m sure that had I not met him at the time I did, I would have met him at some later date.” I replied looking at her before continuing. “But, it doesn’t mean to say that you should second guess meeting your father. Everyone is different with a different history.”

After the question and answer session I went back to my parents’ house to pay my siblings a visit. I have been up and down for the past number of months and really wanted to take some time out and spend it with them. Lil D and Shaundra were both dancers and also went on tours with different artistes, however, they spent more time with mom and dad than I could have so this was perfect moment for me to see them whilst the family was in the same place for a moment.

As I drove up to the house I saw a face I hadn’t seen in 6 years. It was his face. Having found out that he had helped Nakeesha to set up me being raped, I broke my relationship off with him. To think I believed he was a good guy. Man was I wrong. Terrel Johnson. I got screwed over by my own father, then my supposedly best friend, and then found out that my boyfriend was a jackass as well. I seemed to have had the worst luck ever when I was younger. Things have changed now though, I’m in a relationship with someone who reminded me so much of Chris. He welcomed me with open arms and has always treated me with a lot of respect.

I will admit that I refuse to completely trust him with my heart.

Sorry Lee, aint had the use of my laptop this weekend and something had come up the other night i was working on the add and the story had to cone second.

Will try to complete the add tonight.
Im not feeling all that well, so I will see if I can add before sleeping.

-____- Toya

Happy To Have You Back Zay !! :)

Woop woop happy to hear that sis

Lol I did thats why im back.!

U needa tell ur phone who is boss and tell it to work!!! Lol

My phone been acting a ass towards me lately.!

Rose where have u been?

Chap 12 is gonna take a while to come
My laptop is being used by someone else
And most of chap 12 is on there so I dont want to re-write it.

I missed so much.!!!
I cant believe d***head shot them because he got exposed,
stupid bastard.! Im glad rell came out of that coma cuz he
had me worried.
I hope they gang rapr that ass hole everyday in jail for all
the lives he ruined.
That other kid of his is stupid as fuxk and obviously didn't
pay no type of attention during the trial.!

Run it toya.!!!

I have started to write chap 12, but it has to wait. Something urgent came up and I have to see to it.

Will post tomorrow.

working on chap 12 now


damn man... smh


Lol and unfortunately for u the drama went the other way hah

Yay. But thats what should have happpened. lol

Im just saying

Loool that add was popppiiin haha
Got somethings to do first then I will sit around my laptop


Funking FINALLY... but like Lele said 20 aint enough for me.
Shoulda killed the bastard when I had walked into the middle of the scene..
Jameson stands there with the gun in his hand. As Dani walks in from the kitchen."Now wait a damn minute. I know you aint about to bust a cap up in here. Nigga what is wrong with you. There are children in the room."She points over to Sabreena, Lil D, and Ni-Yah."Have you no mind man?""Who the hell are you and why are you here this is none of your business." "I dont GIVE a damn. How about that? Dont worry about why I am here, just worry about what Ima do to that ass if I walk over there." she spat at him "Dani why are you here go home girl we got this." Chris speaks over to her."Di why cant you tell him I got this for yall?""Well Dani I cant exactly. But girl we still on for drinks later?""Yes boo you know it. Where you wana go?""Shut the hell up, just shut the hell up.""Awh s*** he did it now. You shouldnt have Jameson" Chris said backing up and pulling his wife back. "NIGGA WHAT??? Cant you see I am in the middle of a sentence with my homegirl? Matter of fact." she goes over to him and slaps him making him stumble and drop his gun. She punches him in the face and then pounces on him until he blacks out. "Motherf***er interrupting and s***. Ill see yall later." she walks out. As soon and she steps out the door Lele bust in and sees Jameson on the ground already. "Damn I missed it again. Oh well." She walks out and kicks Jameson. "b****ass nigga."
Iknew I shoulda killed him. Smh. Run it cus I am going to try and pull out 2 maybe 3 adds today for you Toya. :D

Run it boo

Yups :-)
I am going to try real hard to do at least another 2 tonight

Yaaayyyy !!! I can handle that !!! :)

Do we get more today?

Loool u are so violent Lee lol

Just think of it as... Jameson finally out of the picture.
Im tired of him now so he wont show up to give any problems again.

The story is now approximately 9 chapters away from the end.

Dang ! that is crazy !! He is a scumbag. Smh We should have killed his ass off. 20 years ain't enough for me .

ohhhhh maybe he can get jumped in person ... Yup I like that

Rell had me scared for his life... Dont play them games dude

Runnn It Toya!

<strong> Chapter 11 </strong>

It’s been a month since Terrel has been out of the hospital. It was so good to have him around again. He still hasn’t completely recovered but he is doing really well. Today was the day we were to go to court to testify against Jameson. A lot of evidence had been gathered about him and it had shocked each of us. We found that he had 2 children who he wasn’t supporting at all in Kentucky and another 3 in Virginia. If he was not behind bars, I know Ms Selena and mom would have ripped him to shreds for that. So now, he wasn’t only wanted for faking his own death, but he was also wanted for child support in two states, possession of a firearm and attempted murder.

“Mrs Brown, how long have you known that Mr Brown was still alive?” Jameson’s lawyer asked mom.

“It’s been 10 years now.”

“But you had never thought it fit to take that news to the police?”

“No. I just-“ He cut her off with another question.

“So you allowed your daughter to still open the letters he sent?”

“I couldn’t deny her those rights. That is her father.”

“You knew that if you told her she would have stopped reading them. So why allow her to continue reading them?”

“How was I to –“

“Do not answer my question with a question please Mrs Brown.”

Mom rolled her eyes at the lawyer and answered his question accordingly. His badgering went on for what felt like hours, but I’m sure the jury was convinced that mom was not in the wrong. They had previously heard my testimony against Jameson and I told them that had I been told when I was younger that he was still alive, I’m not sure of how I would have reacted. Maybe then I would have wanted to see him, but who is to know how a child would react after finding out that the man who was supposedly meant to be their father had lied and was still alive?

The psychologist they put on the stand had said that the child’s frame of mind is such a fragile thing and it needs to be handled with care. He said that mom and dad did the correct thing by not telling me. Yes, they should have possibly found some time to tell me after the age of 10 or so, but that topic isn’t the easiest to bring up.

The trial went on for another 2 weeks and in the end it was the judge who had to call the case to an end as she was “sick and tired of hearing about the deeds of such a dirtbag” as she mistakenly put it in earshot of the jury. The verdict was given and he was found guilty on all parts. Child support was to come out of his account and he was to spend the rest of his time in prison. Well, he got a 20 year sentencing total with parole.

I did feel bad for Sabreena though, she had to watch her father being cuffed and taken away from her. Ms Selena cried her eyes out. Mainly because of the lies he told her. We met his other children and they weren’t all very warm to us. One of his other daughter Nathalia was such an ass.

“So y’all hoeful mothers stole my pops and I was never able to meet him?” She spat at us.

She looked as though she was either my age or at least a year older. Sabreena and I looked at each other and started laughing.

“Girl you are stupid! That man lied about his identity, faked his own death and all sorts of other things and you think it was our moms who stole him? The man was a whore who couldn’t keep his junior in his pants.” I said.

“And clearly didn’t know the use of a condom. If he did, I’m sure you wouldn’t even have been alive.” Sabreena added and we both walked off. All we wanted to do was meet our other siblings, but nope, trick started to be the court jester.

“Sup sistah!” Shaundra yelled as I walked into the house. I looked at her trying to figure out whether it was really her or if lil D stole her clothes and was wearing them instead.

“You a trip Shaun” I said walking past her laughing.

“Well I got you to laugh home slice!” She added following me.

“Is he dead?” Lil D asked as I entered the kitchen.

“Nope, but he is gone to prison.”

“I should have killed him.”

“D chill, you and yo lil thug self wouldn’t have killed no-one. But thanks for looking out for me bro.” I hugged both of my siblings and we sat down at the table talking and laughing. I can’t believe the truth had completely been unveiled all because Jameson came up in my house with a gun and put Rell in a coma.

<strong> Chapter 10 </strong>

I looked around at everyone who was in the room with me and I noticed that one person was missing. Terrel. Where was he when I needed him? My eyes started to fill with water. Could he have possibly still been in the house when Jameson came over? Was it more than one shot that was fired? What the hell was going on?

“Baby I’m good. Get some rest and stop worrying.” His voice popped into my head saying. With that I couldn’t control the tears that were falling from my eyes.

“Mama please don’t tell me Terrel got shot.”

She looked at me with sorrow filled eyes which gave me more incentive to continue crying. “I’m sorry baby. He got hit from the first bullet.”

“How is he doing?”

“Not too good baby. The bullet hit his lung and once it was removed, he has been slipping in and out of coma.”

“He won’t die will he?”

“I don’t know baby.”

I closed my eyes and decided I would say a little prayer to God. I know I haven’t been the best of persons lately, but I wanted Him to save the life of the person who risked their own life for me. It would be unfair if Terrel lost his life trying to save me. It just wouldn’t justify what life was all about if it was all about being lived. I couldn’t lose Terrel. He just meant way too much to me. He meant the world and more. He meant more than anything to me.

Before I knew it, I drifted off into a deep sleep and I could have sworn I had the craziest dream ever. It’s as though I was wrapped in Terrel’s arms with him whispering into my ear that all would be well and this was a temporary mishap.

“Promise me one thing Niy.” He said as he placed me on his lap.

“What is it babe?” I asked looking deep into his eyes.

“Promise me that you will stop worrying about me and ensure that you get yourself together to be discharged from this hospital.”

“I can’t promise you all of that Rell.”

“Why not?”

“Because no matter what, I will always worry about you. That’s what I’m meant to do.”

We went back and forth for another 10 minutes about me worrying or not worrying about Rell. I felt so safe through our communications and I knew he would be okay because he told me that. He said that he would not let his life go. That he would hold on and persevere for me. In the end I did promise that I wouldn’t worry about him and instead I would completely focus on my recovery. With that I woke up and saw the nurses around me. I shook my head several times as I was confused. I could have sworn I was in Terrel’s room with him. I was being held by him. How could I have spoken to him then and now be back in my room, opening my eyes to see the nurses? It made no sense to me.

“Nurse could you give me any update on Terrel Johnson please.”

“When I checked on him, he was still in a coma.”

Having told her thanks, I started to think about what had happened. It felt so real, but now I realise it was nothing more than a dream. I started to curse myself for his condition. Then his voice slipped into my mind again saying “baby you promised you wouldn’t worry”.

“I know boo, but I’m just concerned.” I whispered and closed my eyes yet again drifting off.

*1 month later*

I was released from the hospital a week later and Rell was making very good progress. I went to visit him as much as possible and today was just another day to see him. I had never thought of bringing up the dream I had in the hospital and I was scared to do so. However, I decided that I would brave it all and tell him about it.

When I got to the hospital, I saw his mom sitting next to his bed and one of his cousin’s. I looked over at Rell as he struggled to keep his eyes open. I walked over, said hi to his cousin and hugged his mother. I went beside him and held his right hand whilst thumbing it. He asked his mother and cousin if we could have some privacy and they both respected his wishes. I wasn’t sure why he did so, but I went along with it, there was no need to complain. Well, unless he comes out with false accusations to ruin our relationship.

“Stop crying Niy.” He said as he looked at me.

“I’m not crying.”

“But you had been.”

“How do you know?”

“I can feel it.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Neither do I, but I do remember that I told you not to worry about me and you said you wouldn’t.”

“What do you mean Rell”? I asked knowing that he was talking about that incident.

“I mean, we were together, I had you in my arms, placed you on my lap, told you not to worry about me. I told you to focus on getting better first before worrying about me.” He paused and looked deeply into my eyes.

“And I told you I couldn’t promise to not worry about you because that’s what I’m meant to do?” I said though I was asking a question at the same time.

I saw a smile spread across his face until the monitor started beeping and his eyes rolled back. His hand I was holding went limp and fell out of my hand. Nurses and doctors rushed in and I felt someone pulling me out of the room. I saw when they got the defibrillators and a nurse saying “clear” before administering it onto him. Once outside the door I crumbled on the floor and broke down completely. It was my fault that he was here. If only I had never gone over to Sabreena’s house that evening after work. If only I didn’t call dad to come and pick me up. If only I kept my mouth shut as he ordered. None of this would have happened. Terrel would still be here with me. Dad wouldn’t have been shot in the arm. Mom wouldn’t be looking over her shoulder constantly. My brother and sister would not have been contemplating murder.

Jameson’s trial was coming up and I could not wait. I wanted him to hurt for everything that he has ever done to my family. The pain he put us through. I wanted him gone.

Working on the next add now