A REALITY SHOW ABOUT CHRIS AND HIS FRIENDS LIVING TOGETHER

CHRIS: Wow! I'm hungry. I wonder what I should have for luch. We're all out of frozen burritos and I think Scooter ate the last pack of ramen. I guess I'll have a chocolate milkshake. No, vanilla... yeah wait chocolate. (he heads towards the kitchen) Gotta get my ice cream on! I wonder if I should add sprinkles. I mean sprinkles always get got in the straw and makes the thing hard to drink... wait... who says I have to use a straw? Men use spoons damn it! (he sees a pile of puppies) Scooter, why is the house full of puppies?

SCOOTER: Me and Myles went down to the shelter and they all looked so sad so I brought them home. Do you know what happens to them if nobody takes them?

CHRIS: Yeah, they're set free into happy little gardens where they'll live 100 times more comfortable than in this house. Now why don't you go take back now.

SCOOTER: You just don't understand me. I thinks it's time I start making my own decisions in life.

CHRIS: I think it's time for you to shut the hell up!

SCOOTER: (cries and goes to his room)

CHRIS: (drinking a milkshake) Mmmm I sure love milkshakes; especially chocolate ones. Scooter should be getting home soon. Oh, hear he comes. (to scooter) So, you take them all back?

SCOOTER: Yes I did! And I almost got hit by a car those things are so heavy.

CHRIS: Don't you wish you had a milkshake? Ooh so good! I actually did decide to put sprinkles on it.

SCOOTER: You never let me make my own decisions. (leaves)

CHRIS: Hohoho, silly Scooter! Wait he's coming back now. Oh dear God what is he wearing?

SCOOTER: (wearing emo clothes) That's the last time I listen to you! I'm gonna get my nose pierced, buy a motorcyle and be a jerk from now on. (knocks over Chris' milkshake)

CHRIS: That's nice. Hey, aren't you gonna clean that up first?

SCOOTER: Yeah, sorry about that I'll get right on ot. (cleans up)

30 minutes later... (Chris is watching TV)

SCOOTER: I'm going downtown to get my nose pierced! Don't even try and stop me!

CHRIS: Oh, ok. Can you pick me up a case of I don't care on your way back from the sharp bloody needle house? That'll be great!

SCOOTER: (looks worried) Umm, what kind of needles?

CHRIS: Oh, the big pointy kind. Ya know, they kind they use to spear cows in the head.

SCOOTER: On second thought I won't go get a piercing over there. I'll be in my room... And you can't stop me! (leaves)

(Trey Songz and Ne-Yo come in)

CHRIS: Wow! I haven't seen you guys in a few months. So, how's college been?

TREY: Great actually! We just got back from a class trip to France.

CHRIS: Really? How did that go?

NE-YO: The bell boy scratched my suitcase so I snapped his neck and hid his body under my bed.

TREY: Yeah he doesn't get much of a tip now.

CHRIS: (shocked look on his face) I'm gonna go get a drink; uh you guys want anything?

NE-YO: I'll have a glass of KILL CHRIS BROWN! I mean... apple juice.

CHRIS: Uh, you want ice?

NE-YO: Yeah, ice would be good, or maybe a large shard of glass... I mean a straw. Damn it!

(Chris is in his kitchen hiding under the table in a fetal position)

TREY: Hey! Just wanted to see what you were doing with the drinks. Wait, what are you doing?

CHRIS: (gets up) Ok, we all know it, Ne-Yo wants to kill me. Look, I fashioned a bowie knife out of stuff I wonder around my child safe kitchen. I'm not taking anymore god damn chances man!

TREY: Why don't you juts give me the weapon and...

CHRIS: Get out of the freaking way... it ends today! (approaches Ne-Yo) I'm gonna freakin' kill him! (Scooter throws the phone at Chris' face and knocks him out)

SCOOTER: You can answer your own god damn calls!

NE-YO: Well, I guess I'm leaving.

TREY: Okay... I'm calling an ambulance.

CHRIS: Who just broke my freakin' nose!