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<em> Flashback…</em>

<strong> Eleven Years Earlier…</strong>

The winds blew forcefully at my knees, while I picked her frail body up and carried her over to the building. Her mother stood behind me with a devilish grin plastered on her face. I contemplated on whether or not this ordeal was worth it. The pit of my stomach turned into jell-o. The cold air constantly slapped my face. Her tears soon turned into ice, while I stared the man in the Armani suit down. His smile grew wider and wider.

Her mother gazed at me impatiently, while my grip became tighter around her innocent frame. She was only 4-years-old and I was somehow making an agreement with Satan himself. The man continued looking at me, waiting for me to hand her over to him. His eyes were full of mystery. I couldn’t believe that I was doing this. “Nicholas, what the hell are you waiting on?! Give her to him!” She shouted, waking the whole city. And by she, I meant my fiancée Summer. Not only was this her child, but this child was mine too.

Times became hard and because I had a felony, I couldn’t even get a job at McDonald’s. I didn’t want to go to the streets, because these same streets killed my brother. The disgust soon moved to my throat causing me to utter, “Summer, I c-can’t do this. This is my f*cking daughter for god sakes!” The tears found my eyes and then fell silently down my face. “You’re a f*cking idiot. You can’t even provide for this b*tch! So, why should it matter?!” Summer roared, while snatching her out of my arms. I tried to be the best father I could be, but she was right. “S-SHE’S NAMED AFTER ME SUMMER. I CAN’T DO THIS SH*T. WHAT TYPE OF PARENTS ARE WE?! WE’RE SELLING OUR DAUGHTER!”

I yelled, crying hysterically. “Daddy, please don’t let them take me,” Her small voice cried, causing me to cry harder. “Nicole, kiss your father goodbye,” The man demanded, while grabbing her hand. “NO, GET YOUR HANDS OFF OF HER!” my voice boomed, while I ran over to him, snatching Nicole out of his arms. “YOU’RE F*CKING PATHETIC NICK!” Summer yelled, pushing me onto the ground. “WE HAD A F*CKING DEAL,” The man yelled, snatching Nicole back. I charged at him, but his goons quickly pounced on me as he threw $100,000 my way. “A deal is a deal Nick!” He yelled, driving away in the darkness. His goons got into a BMW and followed behind him. “Looks like we’ll make rent and anything else we need,” Summer smiled nonchalantly. My throat filled with several painful lumps as I swallowed my heart. Just like that my daughter was gone.

<em> End Of Flashback</em>

<em> Nicole, I love you and am missing you so much. I will never give up on you. Baby, I will be here at this same address waiting to play dress-up with you. Please stay strong for me because I won’t ever sleep until you find <strong> Your way home.</strong></em>


Run this s*** b****!!!

Awww thank you Soso for reading :)

I thought you forgot but it was cool if you didn't. This s*** was on pause anyway lol.

And Nani you don't have to read if you don't want to.

idr this
hmmm guess i havee something to read now

lol smh i finally caught up!

but um me and nick is cute!!
i could see us together Nsht
chris a damn fool though wit
his crazy ass!

maya gon get punched in the
mouth by ruth she keep runnin
her damn mouth. and monet ass
wrong af for waking ruth up so
damn early, but it was about
time ruth gave it up to tho.

man i wonder if nicole and
chris live in the same neighborhood?
they probably done passed by
each other Nsht. hm?

i know you not gonna run it bree
but i just had to comment on this
had me ctfu! made my day reading

Please run it.

Aight, so Nick and Sophia, I'll go ahead and say they're together.
They really are cute.
Have some babies.
And he's really opening up to her.

I hate Devin.
Die Devin!!!!!

Well, now I see why Sean died.
The life he was living...smh.
It's sad.
And he is so cute.
Makes me sad.

Nick made me laugh with the text language thing.

I know Ruth wanted to go on and on...

Please continue.


Every flashback you learn more and more about Nick and Sean's life and his relationship with Summer, that dumb hoe.

Aww, Sofia and Nick are so fxcking adorable. For sure, I know her ass ain't ready for little Nick ;)

Damn, Nick and I are a muhfxckin mess. I'm glad that we can have that type of relationship. It's good to know you can still trust someone.

I was rollin at the fact that my ass be praying for everything, cause in reality I do. I be prayin for everyone, even random ass people on the street.

Ruth, Ruth, Ruth. I have a feelin something bad is going to happen to her.

run it.

Maya got a big mouth n momet betta get up out my face that flashbac was crazzii n awh my daddy realli lik sofia run it

lol lol u so silly!

Lol I know. I love Nick so much. He is soooooooo damn adorable. I just wanna kiss his cheeks and tickle him so bad lol.


damn that flashback was a hot mess
chris and sean was some bad ass kids
but sht cant really blame them for getting it
how you can sht

nick and sofia are sooo cute lol
its really cute how they like
each other and summer ass better
get her sht together or bye bye
she go lol hell yea

I understand how ruth feel
cause i cant stand nobody waking
me up outta my damn sleep
but I would of did my sister the same way monet
did ruth lol


I DO know that Nicole Lashae Simmons or whatever the fuk yo name is better read this before anything because you begged tf outta me!

<strong> Chapter Eight.</strong>

<strong> Present. January 20, 2011.</strong> <em> No Regrets? </em>


In the morning I awoke to see Sofia lying next to me. It made me smile widely. Here I was lying next to this beautiful woman that I didn’t think would ever want me. I’ve learned so many things over the years about life. The most important rule was that things happened when you least expected it. I don’t want to speak so soon, but maybe all of this is a sign. I know that this may be our first date, but it was something so refreshing about this woman. I remember a time when Summer and I were so romantic like this. We were just teenagers when Nic was born, but the love we had for each other was obvious. She loved me unconditionally and in return I loved her the same. However, all that sh*t changed when she found out that I was no longer working. I should’ve saw that coming, but I didn’t. Sean was right though. Summer only loved my money and since that was gone, so was she. I tried to dismissed the thought of the betrayal, while I carefully got up and carried on with my regular morning routine. I grabbed a sheet a paper from up under the table and a pen that lied on the counter. I began writing to Nicole:

<em> Dear Nicole, </em>

<em> Since the day you’ve been gone, I realized how much I took things for granted. I somehow wished things were different between your mother and me, but I now know that things happen for a reason. I’m not saying that I don’t miss your mother, but maybe this was a complete sign. You see, there’s this woman named Sofia that like does crazy things to my mind. I know that I can’t be in love this soon, but I just feel this tingly feeling in my stomach whenever I’m around her. You probably don’t want to hear about your dad liking another woman LOL, but hey you ain’t expect Nicky to be single forever, did you? :) Okay, you’re probably cringing while reading this. I just learned some new slang a week ago. I never knew what ‘smh’ meant. I thought it meant ‘So Much Hate’ because Dany texted me saying: <strong>I wish I could get a raise, but that might never happen. Smh.</strong> Oh and I just figured out what ‘ROTFL’ meant. So now I am ROTFL! SMH! I should probably sit my old ass down and go fix your stepmother some breakfast. LOL, I’m just kidding baby girl. Love you. </em>

<em> - Loved, </em>

<em>Dad and Step Mommy Sofia ROTFL! </em>

I laughed at the letter and placed it into the drawer where the other letters were. Sofia soon woke up stretching. She wiped her eyes, “What are you laughing at?” I walked over to her, “Well, good morning to you too missy.” She giggled, “I’m sorry Nicholas. Good Morning!” I laughed and sat next to her, “Well, I was just writing a letter to Nicole. Like I usually do.” Her eyes filled with excitement, “You write letters to her? That’s so cute. Can I see one of them? Please!” “I don’t think you deserve to see one. So convince me by begging,” I teased. She pleaded, while grabbing my face, “PLEASE NICK! PLEASE! PLEASE!” I chuckled, while walking over to the drawer. I retrieved a letter and handed it to her. Of course I didn’t let her see the one I just wrote. I didn’t want to seem like a lame. So, I handed her the first note I ever wrote. “Oh and by the way, you didn’t have to beg, but you looked so cute. So, I just had to have you do it,” I laughed. She giggled and pushed me, while reading the letter.

“You’re such a f*cking jerk!” “I’ll go cook breakfast, while you read,” I stated, while heading to the kitchen. I walked into the kitchen and grabbed a pan from up under the sink. I really didn’t know what Sofia ate, so I decided to cook pancakes. I searched for the pancake batter. After minutes of searching, I found it. I placed the pan onto the stove and turned the knob onto low. I poured the batter into the pan. I then grabbed some bananas, strawberries, blueberries, raspberries and placed them on the counter. I threw the blueberries into the pan. While the pancakes cooked, I looked for my smoothie blender that Dany gave me for Christmas. I used hers so much that she decided that she’d buy me one for the holidays. I found it and sat it on the table and plugged it into the wall. Then I gathered the orange juice from the refrigerator, now putting it on the table.

I carefully loaded some of the strawberries and raspberries into the blender. Next, I retrieved the ice tray out of the freezer. I now threw the ice in. Lastly, I poured the orange juice into the blender. Before I blended the smoothie, I flipped the pancakes until they were done. I grabbed my spatula and a plate from the cabinet. I placed the pancakes onto the plate and decorated them with slice bananas and strawberries. After that, I walked back over to the blender and blended the smoothie. After the smoothie was blended to perfection, I poured it into a glass. I even added a few sliced strawberries onto the side of the glass. I smiled at the results. It’s been a while since I did this for anybody. I remember cooking Nicole’s pancakes just like this. Who knew a four-year-old could appreciate food so much? “Nick, Dany’s on the—wow. You did all of this for me?” Sofia burst into the kitchen, amazed.

I smiled widely, while grabbing my phone from her hand. “Yes, I’ll be right back. Let me see what Dany wants.” She nodded her head, still in astonishment. I walked into the living room, now holding my ear to the phone. “What’s up Dany?” I asked, while stretching. “What’s up? Sh*t, obviously you and Sofia. You have to give me all of the details!” She demanded, sounding like a kid. This only caused me to laugh, “We went out on a date last night. We talked and basically had a good time. I even told her about Nicole. And she told me some things about her that I’d never guess.” “Really? Well, that’s great that you guys can tell each other anything. But, I’m like excited for you. I prayed last night for you and it looks like my prayer has been answered!” She exclaimed. “Dany, your ass pray for everything. I’m sure you prayed for a raise too huh?” I chuckled, teasing her.

She giggled, “You damn right. I guess God ain’t ready for me to be living large in this motherf*cker, but I’m so happy for you Nick. I swear nigga!” I giggled maniacally, “I’m happy too, but let’s not get too excited. It was only the first date! Nothing major! Besides, I don’t even know if she’d go out with me again.” “What you mean she may not got out with you again? If she’s waking up in your house and sh*t, then she’s definitely into you. Or maybe the sex! Did you let her sample little Nicky?” She joked, now laughing. I chuckled, “Not yet Danyell. Although, Nicole almost had a sibling last night. But we didn’t.” She laughed into the phone hysterically, “You crazy as hell Nick. Sh*t, Nicole might just have a few little playmates running around if you keep letting her stay the night!”

I clutched my sides laughing, “You a mess! But look, I had wrote Nicole a letter like I usually do in the mornings and told her that Sofia her new step mama.” She joined me laughing, “See look at you. I’m scared of you na!” “Sh*t, she gon’ be scared when she see this monster in my draws,” I joked, causing Danyell to go in a laughing uproar. “NOW YOU A F*CKING MESS! GO IN TIMEOUT FOR THAT!” She yelled, still laughing. I fell on the floor laughing with her, “I know I am. I need to stop that, but I gotta go. I cooked her breakfast and I want to see if she likes it.” “Knowing her, she’ll like anything you give her. That woman really likes you Nick.” I now got off the floor, “I really like her too, but I gotta go. Love you.” “I love you too! Text me later.” “Alright,” I said, now hanging up.

I walked back into the kitchen to see Sofia devouring the pancakes. I laughed, “Damn woman! I was gone for like three minutes and you already through?” She wiped her mouth and laughed, “Nigga, you was gone for three minutes too late! I was hungry as hell! It was good by the way. The smoothie was on point too! Thanks!” I chuckled, now joining her at the table, “I’m glad you enjoyed it gorgeous.” She grinned, “I definitely did, but what did Dany want?” “Oh, just to know why you’re answering my phone,” I laughed, while staring into her eyes. She giggled, “Damn, I forgot it was her job to be the secretary.” I laughed and nudged her, “Alright ma’am, get off the bestie! That’s my lil’ boo thang.”

I laughed more to myself realizing how foolish I sound. Especially saying bestie. Nicki Minaj taught me that word. Her eyes grew wide, while laughing, “Oh, she yo boo thang huh? I see how it is Nick!” I joked, “You know I’m just playing baby. You know you wifey. She just a lil’ side thang.” She pushed me and laughed, “Nigga, you know it’s the other way around. She wifey and I’m the b*tch on the side!” “You a smart woman after all! Nah, but I’m just kidding.” I joked. She giggled, “I know, with yo kiddin’ ass!” “Whatever! Sewer breath ass! Go brush yo teeth please. I got a spare toothbrush in the back!” I joked, causing her to gasp loudly. She pushed me with force as she laughed, “F*ck you! You act like your breath is that pleasant?” I sniffed the air, now scrunching my nose up by teasing her. I backed away, causing her to laugh harder.

I now laughed, “You know I’m just playing.” “Yeah, I know you are Nick, but about the letter I read… it was touching. It made me become teary-eyed,” She stated seriously. “Yeah, I can’t believe that I would agree to such a thing like that. I try not to think about it, but it haunts me every day knowing what I participated in. I remember the day I found out Summer was pregnant. We definitely weren’t ready for Nicole.”

<em> Flashback</em>

<strong> February 20, 1996. </strong>

I sat on the step with Sean, watching cars go by. He was counting the money that we had just made from robbing a white neighborhood. I didn’t like what we became. Here I am 15 years old, setting the worst example possible for my 12-year-old brother. Unfortunately, he was already corrupted. It’s partially my fault, but most importantly my mama’s. These streets became our home until we found our dad. He had just married Summer’s mother a few months ago. It turns out that he’s a preacher now and he wouldn’t approve of what Sean and I did. I was just accustomed to taking care of me and Sean, that I couldn’t let go of the bad habits. I am ashamed that Sean had to witness me shoot that nigga two years back, but he was just asking for that sh*t. I’d be damn if I let anything happen to my brother on my watch. Lately, Sean been a little harsh with the gun though. He wanted to shoot niggas for no reason. Look what I did to my brother.

I can’t take it back though. I watched, while he counted aloud, “400… 420… 440… 460… 480… 500… Looks like we’ll be splitting $500!” I nudged him, “Aye knucklehead, what I tell you about counting out loud like that? That’s how niggas get caught and robbed!” “Sorry man, but robbing that neighborhood was the best thing we could have ever done! We ain’t ever been to close to $1,000 before!” He whispered, excitedly. “Sean, I don’t know if I can continue doing this sh*t. Now that we living with dad and all—” “That nigga don’t love us Nick! He only moved us in because that’s the ‘Christian’ thing to do. And I’m tired of him talking about God all f*cking day. If he was so damn Holy, he wouldn’t have left mama to raise us by herself! Look at her now though, Still on crack! F*ck that sh*t! That’s why I rob niggas now because of my f*cked up ass childhood. A f*cking seventh grader and gotta result to this sh*t? That’s unheard of! I’m not gon’ ever stop robbing niggas until I get something out of life that’s worth living for!” He spat, now giving me my half of the money.

I listened to what he said. He may have been young, but he had a point. No seventh grader should be put through this sh*t! Hell, no tenth grader should be put through this sh*t either! However, it sort of hurt me how he said that he would continue to do wrong until he’s satisfied with life. “Sean, if this sh*t means so much to you, you can have this! I don’t want it!” I roared, throwing the $250 back at him. He scuffled the money and glared at me, “All yo life you been taking care of me Nick. I want you to be happy just like I want to be happy. On your birthday, I’ll stop I promise. By that time we should have enough to get our own apartment!” “Sean, how are we going to be able to pay rent? Have you thought about that? Ain’t nobody gonna give two children no apartment!” “What about Summer? Her cousin Devin own a few property. I talked to him yesterday. He said if we give him $600 for first month’s rent and $600 for security deposit, then we can have one of his apartments!”

I shook my head because he still wasn’t getting it and besides that Devin nigga sound like a con-nigga to me. I knew he was so passionate about the idea of living on our own, that I decided not to set him straight. “Speaking of Summer, she been acting weird lately,” I stated, while throwing rocks at the street. Sean shook his head, “Didn’t you pop shorty’s cherry some months back?” I nodded my head, “Yeah, I did. Her sh*t was banging too.” He laughed and dapped me, “My nigga.” I joined him, “I’m surprised she ain’t pass out. I was barely in it and she was already wildin’!” He laughed, “You wild boi!” We were just laughing and talking about girls until I seen Summer walk towards me. What did she want? “Yo, shorty. What you doing here? I thought I told you not to come on this corner!” I spat, now annoyed.

She rolled her eyes, “Nigga, f*ck this corner! Okay? I got something to tell you. I need to speak to you in private.” “Oh now you wanna talk to me? When we at home, you just ignore me. Anything you gotta say to me, you can say it in front of my brother.” She sighed, while clasping her hands together tightly. She finally blurted, “I’m pregnant. Two months to be exact. I ain’t been talking to you because I had a feeling I was after my period didn’t show up. The only person that knows is Brandy. She the one that took me to the clinic.” My whole body froze. She was pregnant? No, that couldn’t be. I mean, it can because I was the nigga who took her virginity, but I just couldn’t believe this. What’s crazy is how can she hide this from me? We live together for f*cking sakes!

I was gonna find out sooner or later. If our parents found out, we’re dead though. What the f*ck am I going to do? I can’t take care of no lil’ rug rat! “Summer, when the f*ck was you gonna tell me?! When it was born? If yo mama or my dad find out… We’re done!” I shouted, pacing back and forth. Sean sat there just as shocked as I was. He handed me the money, “Bro, looks like you’re gonna need this more than I do!” I snatched the money and slapped him upside the head with it, “Nigga, now is not the time to be joking! I can’t take care of no shorty! Summer, what the f*ck are we gonna do?!”

She rolled her eyes, “I don’t know what you’re gonna do, but Brandy’s gonna give me the money to abort it. That way they won’t find out.” My eyes widened. I mean, I wasn’t ready for a baby, but to kill it? Then I would be just like her father. He made her mother abort her little sister a few years before she met my father. I couldn’t allow her to kill my child. “Summer, that’s crazy. I can’t allow you to kill my child. I’ll figure something out… Just give me some time. I promise!” She nodded her head, “Fine, but you better figure some sh*t out soon!”

<em> End of Flashback</em>

The craziest thing about that day is that by the time I figured out some sh*t, Nicole was born. And Sean and I did stop robbing by that time. Unfortunately, we were $200 away from having our own apartment. Well, later we did get one. Like a year later, after we were kicked out. I was very happy that I talked her out of aborting Nicole. I don’t know what I’d do. And now thinking back to that day, Devin is her cousin! The same nigga that give me hell on my job is her f*cking kin! That’s why he f*cks with me all the time. That nigga always been jealous of me anyway. Although I can’t prove it, I think he was the nigga that set Sean up.

I quickly dismissed that thought because I’d end up doing something bad to him if he’s connected in anyway with the murder of my brother. Sofia sat there with her mouth open, “Damn, so she was gonna abort Nicole? And wow, you and Sean had it rough huh? I just can’t imagine going through that. It made you a strong man though. So, you shouldn’t regret anything.” “Oh, I don’t regret anything, but hurting Nicole. I’m glad we had this talk Sofia, but I’m sure you have to be at work. And so do I.” She laughed, “Yeah, I do supposed to be meeting with a client this morning for breakfast, but I might have to cancel on her ass! So, I can get some more of your breakfast!” I laughed, while pecking her lips. She smiled, kissing me back.

“I’ll see you later boo,” I stated, while wrapping my arms around her. “Alright boo thang, I’ll see you tonight. Don’t forget it’s your treat!” She teased, while getting up from the table. I chuckled, “How can I forget, if you keep reminding me?” She laughed and threw a finger sign at me. I grabbed her and tickled her sides, “Be careful with your sign language. You saying stuff that your body can’t handle right now.” She giggled and pushed me, “Whatever nigga! I’m out this motherf*cker! I’ll see you later!” I pulled her into me and kissed her, this time longer. She pulled away from the kiss and blushed. I winked at her, while she blew me a kiss. I caught it and placed it on my lips. She laughed and walked out of the door. I better go start my shower now. I can’t afford to be late.

- - -

`Nicole ‘Ruth’

“RUTH! WAKE UP!” I woke up to see Monet shaking me. I yawned, now looking at my phone. It read 8:48 a.m. I wanted to slap the f*ck out of her for ruining my sleep, but I answered sleepily, “What the f*ck you want?” She had the biggest grin on her face, “Maya told me that you f*cked Tyga yesterday. She told me not to tell you that I know, but what the f*ck ever! B*tch, why the f*ck you ain’t tell me you f*cked him?!” I should go beat the f*ck out of Maya for running her mouth! You don’t go around running yo damn mouth like that! But I just decided to allow her this one time to f*ck up. Next time, I’mma beat the sh*t out of her. “B*TCH, WHY YOU SO LOUD! I ALREADY GOT A HEADACHE!” I roared, now wiping my eyes. She sat on the end of the bed, “Because b*tch! I can’t believe you gave it up to him! How was it?” “It was good,” I stated dryly. She twisted her face up, “It was good? That’s it?”

It was absolutely way more than good, but I wanted her to get the f*ck up out of my face, so I just said that it was good. Tyga and I were up all night on the phone laughing and just joking. It’s been a minute since we’d been able to do that. I was so happy that I made that step with him. Not saying because I lost my virginity, that we’re going to be like this all the time, but it definitely altered our relationship a little bit. I nodded my head and then started to speak, “But b*tch guess what Maya told me last night.” Paybacks a b*tch. “Girl what?! Share the details!” She yelled, interested.


run it

I'mma try to update this too .

I forgot why I asked.
It's cool though.
I've been whooped before.

ion even remember why i said that

yay i got tyga back we so cute together run it n awh my daddy gon hav him a girlfriend n i feel so bad for maya

And Keria-why do I need an ass whoopin???


run it nick is so cute i hope they get together

Alright. Alright. Alright.
I read it.
I think...
Ruth is just...smh-out there.
She's all mean and stuff to people she doesn't like.
Then around Tyga she's all sweet.
Lol. It's a contradiction.
And she lost it...omg.
Maya wants her to be a hoe.
That's a good career move.

Wow...I seem like a jerk.
I'm not that mean in real least not right now.
I don't care.
Like- my big bro Ty is working really hard and I wanna have fun.
And now Ruth's gotta babysit.
At least I don't have to watch them on the weekends.

Nick is cute with his actions.
like he's never been on a date before.
He's like...30...

Run it.

Everything ms. Keria_Baby said.

Took the words right out of my mouth.

Run it.

run it!

dang i feel so bad for maya
but i also understand
why she didnt want to tell no one
she got raped because who would...

ruth and tyga back good which
is a good thing and for them to
be so young, i wonder if they know
what they really doing
and she lost her virginity to him and
everything, i guess it was worth it
ion know but i hope that they dont
hurt eachother cause now a days kids

are young 13 and 14 thinking that
they in love but really dont know what
the hell they doing but hey if they make
each other happy by all means
and his brothers are so cute
and diamond is just a grown ass lil girl
who need a good ass, ass whoopin
i commend tyga for trying to be the
man of the house because someones
got to do it hell

sofia and chris are so cute
i loveeeee nick, to be so old he just
make me wanna pinch his cheeks lol
ion know why though
but there date went well
and i almost thought that they
were gonna have sex but im glad that they didnt

run it

<strong>Chapter Seven.</strong>

<strong> Present. January 19, 2011. </strong> <em> Reality Bites Back... A Chance At Romance? </em>

`Nicole aka Ruth.

I walked into the house wondering would Tyga forgive me. I do admit that I have been a little out of control lately. It's just that I truly love him and I couldn't dare see another b*tch take my spot. I was instantly greeted by Tyga's brother and sister; Nehemiah and Niylah. Nehemiah and Niylah are 5-year-old twins. Nehemiah was more outgoing; Niylah was much quieter. Tyga basically raised them. I mean, his mother died a year after the twins were born. And his dad was never around. So, he had to be the man for them. Diamondz only made his life harder. She was 15 years old and challenged Mike every time she could. She didn't understand that he was putting his life on the line everyday trying to provide for her, him, and the twins. She didn't dare see the struggles. That boy would do anything for his siblings. He made sure they had the new sh*t. It was a must to him. I watched attentively, while Diamondz sat on the living room table painting her nails. The twins were on the couch eating popsicles. Nehemiah quickly greeted me with a smile, "Hey Ruth." Niylah just waved and continued eating her frozen treat.

I smiled widely and greeted them back, "Hey y'all!" I watched, while Nehemiah's Popsicle dripped onto his polo shirt. "Oops!" Nehemiah uttered sheepishly. I just smiled. He was so adorable. Tyga however didn't find it the least bit cute. His anger started to pour out, "Damn Miah! That's a brand new shirt! I told yo ass to be careful!" "I'm sorry... I'll wash it out..." I then butted in, "Michael, calm down. It's not that serious. And let's focus. The reason why I'm here, remember?" His face then relaxed, "Yeah, that... Why are you here Ruth? I mean, you say to apologize but do you realize how long a nigga been dealing with your sh*t?" Diamondz rolled her eyes while fanning her nails, "Can y'all take that sh*t in yo room?" Tyga's face now twisted into anger, "You don't pay for sh*t around here. Therefore, you have no f*cking say-so in anything! I'll talk in every motherf*cking room if I want to!" "Really? You act like we have a big house... 2 bedrooms. Wow, we're so living large! And I may never get a chance to do sh*t because I always have to play the big sister role and watch Miah and Ni! While yo ass slang drugs!" Diamondz spat.

"Dia, there are some things that you may never understand! Every day I risk getting caught to take care of you, me, Miah and Ni! No one else is going to do it. So, there is plenty of pressure," Tyga spat back. "Well, Michael I have a life too! I get tired of having to cancel my plans! No one wants to hang out with other people's little brother and sister! God knows I love Miah and Ni to death, but something has to give! I am a teenager without a life!" "I understand Dia, but you gon' have to pitch in and help," He roared. I decided that if I wanted to show Ty that I can change, then I should try to help too. "Wait, y'all. I'll watch the twins on the weekends. That way you can hang out or whatever you want to do Dia," I replied, causing everyone to look at me. "Ruth, are you serious?" Diamondz looked at me in disbelief. I shook my head laughing, while Tyga waited for my response. "Yes, you're absolutely right. You should have a social life. And I'll even do it for free." Diamondz smiled and dapped me, "My b*tch...." I laughed loudly, "Yeah, now don't make me regret this sh*t though!"

"You ain't gon' regret sh*t! Trust me! Aw man, I should call Dre and let him know what's up," She danced excitedly. I giggled and then became serious, "Tyga, can we please talk in your room now?" He nodded his head, now leading me down the hall to his bedroom. I walked in first. He closed the door behind him, while I sat on his bed. "You sure you don't want to check my room for b*tches? I think there's one in the closet... Nah, my bad. I'm sure she's under the bed," Tyga retorted, now joining me on the bed. "Damn, I'm that bad huh? I just I get a little jealous—" "Yeah, you are that damn bad. I do love you Nicole. Have I ever given you a reason to question otherwise?" He inquired, while grabbing my face and staring into my eyes. I thought for a moment. I couldn't even recall a moment where he did cheat. To my knowledge, he's been faithful. "Mike, it's not that I don't trust you. I don't trust those b*tches that jock you," I replied, now looking away. He grabbed my face again, "Babe, you're pushing me further and further away. Do you realize that? If you trust me like you claim you do, then trust that I wouldn't ever hurt you intentionally. Yeah, b*tches be on a nigga d*ck hella hard, but that don't mean I let them ride it. You're too beautiful to be jealous. And how the f*ck you think I feel when I see the way niggas look at you? They damn near jump on yo ass in front of me. Do I trip? No, because I know that you are mine. Don't keep pushin' me away Ruth. You're not perfect, but your imperfections are what make me love you. Do you hear me?"

A tear suddenly fell from my eye. A tear that I didn't even realized was there. He wiped it as soon as it fell and kissed my lips. I looked up at him, taken aback by his words, "Michael, I love you too... I really don't know what else to say." He chuckled, "You don't have to say anything. Allow your body to do the talking for you." I slowly entered my tongue into his mouth. I closed my eyes, while our tongues wrestled. This was all becoming a bit too much. I knew where this was heading. And so did he. This was something I have been putting off for a while. I was now lying on my back. He searched his nightstand for a moment. He then pulled out a magnum Trojan. He ripped open the condom and looked into my eyes, "Ruth... you don't have to do this right now... If you want me to stop, then just say so..." I gulped loudly. The fear moved to my throat, causing me to retort, "We've been together for a year now Mike. I know that I am ready to give myself to you... I belong to you Michael..." He smiled, now pulling my shorts and panties off in one tug. "And I belong to you Nicole..." We then kissed more intense and passionate than before.... I was finally ready to make the biggest step forward in our relationship. I, Nicole Anne Brown was losing my virginity to the man that I love more than anything in this world.

<em> An Hour Later... </em>

I laid in the bed, covering my naked body with his cover. I still was shy about him seeing my body. He laughed, "I swear Ruth... Maybe I should call you Heart 'cuz you ain't as ruthless as I thought..." I punched him, "Nigga, keep bullsh*tting and your d*ck will be on the floor..." "Is that so?" He asked, raising his eyebrows. I laughed and shook my head, "F*ck you Tyga...." "Wait, I'm confused," He uttered, now looking at his phone. His whole expression changed, "Bae, I have to go...I'll call you later on tonight. Okay?" I sighed, while lying my head back on his pillow, "Really? I don't want you to leave...." "I know baby, but I gotta get this money. I swear you'll be the first person I call when I come back. I promise... Can I get my sweet kisses 'fore I go?” I rolled my eyes and laughed, "I shouldn't give you sh*t, but bring them sexy ass lips here..." "Oooh, look at you... Don't make me break you off again," He remarked, while pecking my lips. I smiled, "I don't think I can take that d*ck anymore... I barely can move now!" He smirked and headed for the door, "Love you bae..." "Love you too... I'll talk to you later... Don't give my love away while you gone..." "And don't you give mine away," He smiled, while walking out of the door.

After he left, I finally managed to get up. It did hurt a little to walk, but I grabbed my clothes and carefully walked to the bathroom without anyone noticing me. I turned the shower on and hopped in. I carefully and thoroughly washed my body. After 15 minutes of showering, I stepped out and dried my body off. I then got dressed in my clothes. I wobbled back into Tyga's room and grabbed the ruined sheets and then headed into the kitchen. I walked over to the washer, turned it on and threw the sheets into them. I then walked into the living room to see Diamondz on the phone and The twins' both were sleep. I threw my hand up at Dia and walked out of the door. It was still daylight, so I could walk home. Well, at least try to. I did manage to start walking. My house wasn't that far from Tyga's. It was like a 10-minute walk to get there. After 10 minutes of walking, I got there to see Maya's car parked out front. I walked into the house to see Maya on the couch smoking a cigarette. She smiled and patted a seat next to her. Maya was Gavin's girlfriend. She stayed here with us too. I really didn't have a problem with her. She was cool. I wobbled over to the couch. She just laughed, while shaking her head... "Oh sh*t, I know that walk... Want a cigarette?"

I really didn't like cigarettes. I mostly smoked weed, but occasionally I would smoke a cigarette. I nodded my head, while she handed me a cigarette from the carton. I held it out, while she lit it. I placed it to my lips and puffed it slowly, "What's so funny?" She laughed again, "So, you're really clueless huh? That walk says it all honey. You obviously have just got some d*ck..." I laughed, while puffing the cigarette, "Yeah, I guess it is obvious... It was my first time..." Her eyes widened as she puffed her cigarette, "Really? Wow, how was it?" A big grin appeared on my face, "It was great... It was everything I wanted to be..." She now smiled, while I kicked my feet up on the table. "So, you're a little experienced now... Good. It'll come in handy later on..." I looked at her strangely, while continuously blowing the cigarette, "What do you mean?" "Oh nothing... We'll get to that point when the time comes... I hope you understand what you did, you can't take it back," Maya replied, while rubbing her fingers through her blonde hair.

I smashed the cigarette on the table and responded, "Yes, I am very aware that I can't take it back. There is no regret. I love Tyga." She threw her hands up and laid her head back, while blowing the cigarette smoke to the ceiling. She then stared at me with her hazel eyes, "You want a drink?" "Sh*t, might as well...." She nodded her head and walked over to the kitchen. I waited patiently, until she came back with two glasses. She handed me one, while she saved one for herself. I sipped the alcohol, while she gazed at me. "So, you're not in school anymore. What are you going to do now? Work perhaps? I have the perfect job for you," She replied, sipping again. I stared at her weirdly, now gulping the drink. "Maya, what the f*ck are you talking about? I don't swing that way, if that's what you gettin' at!" She laughed, "Nah, not on no lesbo sh*t. Have you ever gave head to a nigga before?" I scrunched my face up in disgust, "Hell f*cking no. And never will. A nigga can't pay me enough! The f*ck type of sh*t is that?" This caused her to giggle even more, "Calm down... It's not that bad and it pays a lot... Just imagine that you are sucking on your favorite flavored popsicle. The only thing is that this one has cream in the middle. You have to be careful when you give head. Because a d*ck is very sensitive... I can show you if you want..." "Maya, no disrespect, but you about to make me beat yo ass. What f*cking part don't you understand? I do not suck d*ck! And what the f*ck you mean it pays? What the f*ck are you, a ho? The f*ck?" I spat, my temper now coming out.

She laughed hysterically, "Baby girl, I am trying to help you. I know where your future is heading. I am just givin' you a damn heads up. You're not in school and there's only one job that you're allowed to have and it's call a Sell's Representative or also referred to as prostitution. It's not that bad. Yes, I've been in the business since I was your age. It's how I met Gavin. I gave up that life to be with him. I'm always here if you need tips or anything..." I stared at her with even more disgust, now getting up from the couch. "You're a nasty ass b*tch! You say that sh*t like it's something to be proud of! You sold your f*cking body for money and now tryna get me to do the sh*t?! Maya, you ain't—" "I'm not what? Newsflash Nicole, it's called doing what you have to do to survive. I look at you and see me. You may think you're ruthless, but you ain't seen ruthless until you been on those streets. Sucking and f*cking d*ck to have my pimp take all of my damn profits. 'Yes daddy, you can have it.' While he slap the spit out of my mouth. Nicole you have potential to be a top dollar b*tch. You have the attitude, you just need the skills—" "Maya, I am not you! I don't have to f*cking sell my body to make a damn living! Save your f*cking sob story. You could've left the game, but you didn't want to. Why would you even suggest I do sh*t like that? You're the dumb ass for allowing a nigga to pimp you and knock you out!" I roared, while glaring at her.

"So, you think you better than me? I wish I could've had it like you have it! You don't know my f*cking story. What the f*ck I had to go through! At 8 years old, my mother watched my father raped me. You know what she did? Beat the f*ck out of me for getting blood on her couch. She didn't even care that I was mentally disturbed for the rest of my life after that sh*t! So, I-I go to my grandma and she cries with me. Now, my grandmother was in her late 80's and she was at a nursing home. So, there wasn't much she could do, but pray for me. She says, 'Child, ask God for help... I know you don't want to, but you have to forgive him..." And I say, 'But grandma... He hurt me! He hurt me bad!' She nods her head and makes me kneel. She guides me through the prayer and tells me to go to church with her. So, later that week I did. I give all of my f*cking heart to this damn God of ours and I pray to this motherf*cker and tell him to lift my pain. I forgave that bastard and even my mother too. I was too young to understand what was really going on. I continued to go to church and one day after church, the pastor cornered me in his office and started to finger me. He says, 'Shhh, don't make a sound..' He then gets on his knees and performs oral sex on me. He then forces me to do the same to him. I left the church feeling like I was nothing... I stopped going to church for a minute after that, but then he started to visit me... I would tell my mama that I didn't like him coming over and she would yell at me, 'Girl, shut the f*ck up! You the damn reason yo daddy left! Now, you gon' shut up. I need a man! You not gon' ruin it for me!' Nicole, that f*cking bastard raped me every time he would come over there! So, I prayed to God again and asked him, 'Why me?' That motherf*cker wouldn't even respond to me! All my f*cking life, I've been forced to grow up earlier than intended. So, pardon me if I am twisted or sick in the head. It's all the f*ck I've known!" She spat, now crying hysterically.

I suddenly stood there frozen. I was lost for words, "Maya, why d-d-didn't you tell anyone?" "WHO WOULD I TELL?!" Maya cried harder. I stood there silently. "Exactly!" She exclaimed, wiping her eyes. "Maya, I don't know what to say," I stated as my mouth continually stayed open. "I don't want you feeling sorry for me! That's not why I told you my story. I want you to realize that you can be better than me. Learn from my mistakes Nicole... Just learn from them." I nodded my head, while I headed into the kitchen. This time I brought a whole bottle of Hennessy with me. I poured it into our glasses. Maya quickly chugged hers. I then gulped mine. It went down so strong, but I felt better afterwards. Maya poured more into both of our glasses. I closed my eyes and swallowed all of it. Maya did the same. That's when I started to feel tipsy. "Where the f*ck is Monet?!" I looked up to see Gavin standing there with an angry expression. I quickly remembered the lie Monet told me, “She over Nisha’s house…” He then sat on the couch staring at me and Maya strangely, “The f*ck happened to y’all? Why y’all so quiet?” “Just thinking about life babe. You hungry?” Maya asked, now getting up. “Yeah, of course I am. I’ve been working all day!” Gavin roared. Maya didn’t respond. She just got up and walked over to the kitchen. I finished my glass and stumbled, trying to get to my room. Gavin continued to stare at me. “Girl, it’s time that you start working… I’ll talk to you about it on your birthday. I ignored him and walked to my room carefully. I crashed onto my bed and drifted off to sleep.

- - -


<em> Hours Later… </em>

It was time for me to clock out. Today was a long day. I thought about all of the things Sofia confessed to me. I knew I was wrong for listening to rumors about her. We as people often judge people without even getting to know people. I didn’t understand why we did that. I dismissed the subject while I clocked out. After I clocked out, I said bye to Dany. “Alright Dany, see you tomorrow…” “Alright, good night Nick,” Dany replied. I walked out of the building and got into my car. I headed home. Within minutes, I was at home. I got out and unlocked my door. I walked in and locked the door behind me. I pulled Sofia’s number from my pocket. Do I really want to go on this date? I had a feeling that she wanted this more than I did. This woman must really like me. I mean she offered to pay for my food! Yeah, she has to like me a lot. I won’t let her down. I always liked Sofia, but I’m starting to like her even more now that I know that she struggled to get to the top. I decided to take a shower first. I undressed and then turned on the shower. I then got in… After 20 minutes of showering, I stepped out and dried off. I grabbed a towel and wrapped it around my body. I wanted to look presentable. I didn’t know where we were going and I didn’t want to be too casual nor did I want to overdress. I finally got it right. I sprayed on some cologne and then got dressed. I cleared my throat and took out my cellphone. I quickly dialed Sofia’s number.

She answered on the third ring, “Hello, Sofia James speaking. How may I help you?” “Umm, Sofia it’s Nick… You still want to go out tonight?” I asked, nervously. “Sorry Nick, I changed my mind. Maybe next time?” She replied. “O-okay then,” I responded, preparing to hang up. I could hear her laughing. “Nick, I’m just kidding… Of course… I’m clocking out right now. Text me your address.” I hung up and then quickly texted her my address. Ten minutes later, I heard someone knocking on my door. I opened the door to see Sofia. She smiled widely, “Now don’t you look handsome!” I laughed, “Do you really think so?” “Yes I do… You ready to go?” She asked, still smiling at me. I nodded my head. I allowed her to walk out of the door first. I locked the door and followed her to her Mercedes Benz. She unlocked the doors. We both got in. “Wow, this is Heaven compared to my Altima,” I uttered, while closing the car door. She giggled, now taking off. “Hard work pays off Nicholas…” “Yeah, it does. I don’t think I have it in me to work this hard though. Sh*t,” I chuckled a bit. She laughed maniacally, “You’re something else. I swear, but can you guess where I’m taking you?” I shook my head no.

She smiled, “You’re going to really like it. Trust me.” Many minutes later, we pulled up to some restaurant that I have never seen in my life. It was definitely upscale. I felt so out of place. I got out and followed Sofia into the restaurant. The hostess smiled at her, “Good evening Ms. James. A table for two?” “Yes Precious….” She held my hand, while the hostess guided us to a table. We both sat down in unison. “The waiting staff will be with you guys in just a moment,” She said, handing us menus. I glanced over the menu, not recognizing any of the things on the list. I have never tried any of these things. Sofia stared at me with concern, “Nick, you look uncomfortable. Are you okay?” “It’s just that I have never been to a place like this. It’s all so new to me. Sorry, if I embarrass myself tonight,” I replied, still eying the menu. Sofia grabbed my chin, “It’s okay Nick. Don’t worry. I’ll order for you…” I smiled slightly, “Thanks…” The waitress finally came over to us, “Good evening Ms. James and gentleman. Can I start you two off with some appetizers?”

“Hey Charlotte and uh start us off with some bread rolls I guess. With extra butter,” Sofia smiled. “Yes ma’am. What can I get you to drink?” The waitress asked, while jotting everything down. “Give us a bottle of Moet please…” “Alright, will be right back,” The waitress said, while taking off. “Damn, everyone knows you in this restaurant!” I chuckled. She joined me, “My dad met with most of his clients here and I would tag along with him. He would take me here every time I would win a case… It motivated me to try to win all my cases and hell I damn near won all of them. Except for two. I’m not tripping though. It is what it is… So, Nick… You and I had sort of a heart-to-heart in the office this morning…” I smiled, “Yeah, we did, didn’t we? I apologize again for prejudging you. That was petty of me.” “No, you know Nick… I would love to talk more about your story… If you don’t mind. There were some things that stood out to me. Like, when you talked about your daughter and brother who was killed. Do you want to talk more about that?” She inquired, still staring into my eyes.

I sighed, while clasping my hands together tightly, “I did some stupid and foolish things growing up just for my mother’s attention. My father left me and my brother Sean alone with our mother. My mother took the divorce badly and turned to alcohol and drugs. One day she kicked me and Sean out. We really didn’t understand why at the time. So, there I was 13-years-old on the streets with my 10-year-old little brother. There I stood, carrying a gun in my pants waiting to use it. I robbed people and sold drugs just so that Sean could eat. By the time I was 16, I ended up getting my girlfriend Summer pregnant. After she had her, our parents kicked both of us out. So, I worked while Summer watched Nicole. Later on at 18, I grew accustomed to selling drugs. I lost both of my jobs and started back selling. Summer was clueless about me slanging. She thought I was still working at Burger King. Sean was one of the biggest drug dealers in the city. So, you know there was hate constantly thrown at him. To make a long story short, I got caught and ended up spending a year in jail due to good behavior.

However, I still had a felony. So, I couldn’t work anywhere basically. Times grew very hard. This same day, Sean was gunned down at 15 years old because he posed as a threat. It hurt me a lot because many times I wished it was me instead of him. He was too young and didn’t deserve to die that way. But that’s not the worst part. Times became even harder because since I was longer bringing in income, Summer wanted nothing to do with me. She made that known. We also agreed on that on that day, we would sell Nicole when she turned four. A week later after her fourth birthday, we did. Sofia, I woke up forgetting about the whole thing. I thought it was just a dream. I couldn’t believe that I agreed to sell my daughter. Every day I regret that decision. I used to cry at night, hoping someday she’d come back home. I miss her so much and I will never stop looking for her. I have faith that I will find her… You know what hurts the most though? When she cried out, saying ‘Daddy, please don’t let them take me.’ It was too late though. I tried to snatch her back, but his people jumped on me and took her out of my arms. Summer stood there with no remorse. It felt like my heart had been ripped from my chest. I miss her so damn much Sofia. I want my Nicole back, so I can tell her that I am sorry for everything I put her through. I just wanna hold her and tell her how much I love her. I just want my daughter back,” I retorted, fighting back warm tears. Sofia mouth quivered, while tears poured out of her eyes like waterfalls. “Please, stop crying. I didn’t mean to get you upset… And I am trying to fight back tears now at this very moment.”

“No, Nick… I am not upset. I find this overwhelming. I pray that you find Nicole. I know you’d be a great father to her,” She smiled weakly. I matched her smile, “Thanks…” The waitress soon came out with the bread. “Now, are you guys ready to order?” I ate the bread, while Sofia ordered for the both of us. <em> Hours Later… </em> Sofia and I laughed and talked about life. My feelings for this woman have grown much stronger. We were now pulling up to my house. She put the car in park and stared into my eyes, “Nick, tonight was very insightful and a wakeup call for me. I had a good time and I hope that we do this again.” I held her hand and gazed into her deep brown eyes, “Sofia, I had a great time too. Thanks for everything. Next time, it’s my treat and I mean it.” She smiled, “Fine, Nicholas.” When she smiled, it made me smile. I leaned closer to her, now planting a kiss on her soft lips. She smiled and kissed me back intensely. I broke away from the kiss grinning like a Cheshire cat. I couldn’t front. My knees became weak as hell from that kiss. I didn’t want her to leave. I held onto her hand, gazing into her eyes. She smiled modestly and kissed my forehead.

“I don’t want to sound like a sprung ass b*tch, but I don’t want to leave you,” She remarked, causing me to go in a laughing uproar. “Trust me, you’re not the only one whose feeling that way. Because I don’t want you to leave either.” She smiled widely, while opening the doors. We both got out. I walked over to her and wrapped my arms around her, while we linked hands. “Maybe, I can stay the night,” She smiled at me. I smirked, “Are you sure that’s a good idea?” She grinned, “I’m a grown woman Nicholas. I can handle myself.” “Alright then grown woman, follow me…” I unlocked the door and let her enter first. I then closed and locked the door behind me. I led her over to the couch. She plopped onto the couch. I joined her. She scooted closer, until she was right up under me. I wrapped my arms around her. She smiled and kissed me… That’s when we started making out. I linked hands and kissed her passionately. I broke away from the make-out session, “Sofia, I think we should slow down….

Kissing leads to other things.” She laughed and pinned me down, “I’m 28. I know how sex works Nick.” I laughed, while planting kisses on her neck. “Fine, but don’t be complaining when you can’t walk in the morning,” I joked. She giggled, as I turned her over so that I was on top of her. She grabbed my neck and deepened the kiss. “I’m serious though Sofia… I don’t think we should have sex yet. You’re worth the wait. Right?” She nodded her head, still smiling. “Of course I am… And FYI I wasn’t going to have sex with you. It was only a joke.” I laughed, while shaking my head, “Yeah right!” She nudged me and laughed. I now laid beside her. She laid her head on my chest, drifting off to sleep. “Good night Nick.” I kissed her forehead, “Good night Sofia…” Before you knew it, she was asleep. I turned off the lights and laid beside her, now falling asleep.

dany cool peoples
damn im straight forward
but a nigga need some
similarity from a female
who can understand where
he coming from
so summer can get the boot!
lmao, and ruth...
ruth, ruth, ruth...
ionno if ty gonna take her

run it ♥