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For The Record {Chapter 55 Added} {3/10/13} {I'M BACK!!!}

HI! :) Haha, this is my first CB story so let me know what ya think!

<em>Cause when I'm looking in your eyes
Feels like the first time
Give me one good reason why
We can't just press rewind</em>

The lyrics spill out on the page without much effort. She doesn’t have to try hard. They’re embedded in her brain and easily transferable to the paper. She tries her damn hardest to withhold the tears that are threatening to fall. Her make up for today isn’t waterproof and she doesn't feel like taking time out to do it over because her jolted emotions can’t control themselves. Misty eyes are as far as she’s letting it go. He’s not worth her tears. At least, that’s what she tells herself. Then again, she’s been telling herself a lot of untrue things lately.

Sighing heavily, <a href="http://a1.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/558604_298229126926725_100002189217716_659503_781618814_n.jpg" target="_blank">Layla “Lala” Brown</a> sets the pen and paper to the side. She doesn’t feel like writing anymore. The sudden urge she previously had to finish the song is no longer there. She gets up from the writing desk and makes her way over to her California King Size bed. Yanking the covers back, she slides in the warm bed, huddling under the covers. The vacancy next to her is impossible to ignore. She lies on her back. Her long jet-black hair splays all over the pillow. She does not bother wrapping it up. She sees no reason to; it’s not as if she has to wake up tomorrow looking presentable for <a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_CXZz9nlRxAc/TTOpwb80rXI/AAAAAAAAAQw/MeXtIsBBRYc/s1600/chris+brown11.jpg" target="_blank">him</a>. He won’t be there.

She winces slightly thinking about where he is. She doesn’t know exactly, but she has a pretty damn good guess. A guess that makes her heart ache even more. She wonders how she got there. How they got there. She has a good life. At the tender of age of 20, she lives a life most people would kill to have. Her debut album went multi-platinum and won her two Grammy's along with countless other awards. She has sponsorships with mega companies like Juicy Couture, Nike, South Pole, etc. She successfully ventured into the acting business and received critical acclaim for all her performances. Millions of girls look up to her and want to be just like her. Guys think she’s sexy as hell. Most importantly, she’s the wife of international superstar Chris Brown. Yet, she’s miserable as hell.

Her eyes start to water even more as she thinks on how much things had changed. She knew marriage was going to be hard, but she never thought it would be this difficult. She always knew she would never be enough for Chris, sexually. How could she? She was inexperienced when it came to sex before Chris. She knew the logistics of it, but that was it. She was clueless when it came to what guys liked, what turned them on and all the right places to attack. He wasn’t. He knew exactly what to do and was perfect at it. He constantly reassured her that she was fine in bed and shouldn’t worry so much. She blindly listened to him. She should have known better. If she was really fine in bed, why the hell was he out somewhere f***ing one of his many whores?

She wanted to believe, if not her skills in bed, then maybe her undying love for Chris would keep him from straying. Their love should have been enough. But it wasn’t not anymore. They weren’t the same people they were almost two years ago. His love for her has diminished and she wonders if there is any hope for them. So much has happened.

Is it too much to overcome though?