Newsletter Link

4 Fans Online
Inside My Love.

<a href=http://userserve-ak.last.fm/serve/500/80885205/Kiah+Victoria+KV1.jpg>I</a> pulled up in front of the large building, adorned with dark LED lights. The parking lot was being swept by a young boy in Jordan's. He couldn't have been much older than me. I tightened the strap on my purse and walked towards the door apprehensively. It had come down to this. I didn't have another option. I knocked softly on the door at first... only for it not to be answered. The boy that was sweeping approached and hit the door loudly with his hand flat. I jumped, startled and looked at him. He tossed me a smirk and went back to sweeping. The door opened and <a href=http://img2.timeinc.net/people/i/2009/stylewatch/blog/090928/nelly-300x400.jpg>he</a> stood there, looking me up and down.

"...Who referred you?" He asked.

I put my hair behind my ear and parted my lips to say something but nothing came out. I shrugged. He studied me once more and looked me dead in the eye.

"Name?" He asked.

"Veronica... I go by Ronnie." I said softly.

He opened the door wider for me to come in, so I did. I hadn't ever been to one of these places, I'd only heard about them... saw them in movies. I looked around wondrously, and heard the giggles of females arriving and leaving, all of them carrying gym bags. I studied their curves and looked down at myself.

"What you here for..." He asked, dismissively. His eyes didn't dance in my direction, as he strolled casually beside me, checking out everything on the floor - making sure nothing was out of place.

He stopped suddenly and I did too.

"...I need a job," I said, searching his face.

He snickered. "So go to the mall and fill out applications, sweetheart. This isn't something for your resume,"

"I understand that," I said, shaking my head. "I wouldn't be here if I didn't need to be. I need a job," I said, pleading with my eyes.

He scratched his face, as he ruminated. He pointed to the bar. "You start there," He said, before he began to walk.

"I was hoping to dance!" I called after him.

He shook his head, "We'll see,"

I exhaled, and dropped my bag on the floor before the DJ put on some music. I looked around and sat down on one of the bar stools. Well... at least I had a job.

Comentarios

Ooooh, la la!
I do NOT like Carter whatsoever, he is a horrible person!!
I'm happy for Ronnie, Aubrey makes her happy. I think they'll end up getting together, October and Cayden are already siblings lol. RUN IT!

Aubrey is really amazing. I love him! His personality is so beautiful and kind, he remember that Cayden loved to color and bought her a book--that's nothing compared to what he's CAPABLE of doing. I'm glad Cayden likes him. Him & Ronnie are cute together, their future is yet to come. :) I knew Carter ass was gonna leave. /: I had a doubt feeling about him, smh. He's missing out on HIS daughter, his wonderful daughters life. Smh! Oh well!

i love aubrey (: he's so great , doing things for cayden when he doesn't have to . makes me smile . carter is a douche . who gets close to their daughter and presses the mother to tell cayden that he's the father then leaves once she's all in . he wanted to try with veronica too but he dips , for what reason ? a girl ? not ready to handle his responsibilities ? what he won't do , another man will . aubrey seems perfect , but i'm waiting to find his flaw . there's something coming , because he can't be this perfect . we'll see . run it ! (:

Seriously Carter!! I was on ur side and you let me down smh my heart broke into a million pieces at how sad Cayden was because I know what that's like. Just waiting and waiting smh

Run it

Carters a f'n d***. I can't believe he did Cayden like that. That poor little girl was heartbroken after learning he wasn't coming anymore. Veronica is a great mommy. Least Cayden will always be able to depend on her. Broke my heart when Cayden asked her was she gone leave her too. Never that.
Aww Aubrey is so sweet answer pretty good with Cayden. He made sure she was comfortable and and was really sweet and accommodating to her. He made her mood alot better then it was the past few days. Major points to him on that. I really hope he doesn't do Ronnie wrong. Loved the add Carmen. RUN IT!!!

What the f*** you mean you need some more time! Nigga no you had 5 goddamn years to do that s***! He needs to get it together like now. Ronnie didn't make Cayden by herself. I mean seriously grow a pair and start taking care of Cayden she doesn't deserve that at all.
Run it

Smh... Punk ass Carter.. He should have stayed TF away... Thats the Second time he's abandoned Cay.

I love how Aubrey is willing to be there for Ronnie and Cayden.

Ugh Carter is so stupid he should have just stayed where the hell was instead of getting that baby's hopes up high! I hope Aubrey won't hurt them cause Cayden needs a father figure even though Ronnie is doing a wonderful job with raising her

Okay seriously!...I want to go murder Carter's ass...HOW could he do that to Cayden!....My heart broke into so many pieces because she didn't do anything!...she didn't ask to be born....and she doesn't deserve that hurt he put her through. Give him time...I'll give his ass some time.....he can take a long dirt nap. Ugh.......

On the other hand...there's Aubrey...who's just.....the closest thing to perfect. I think he'll be good for both of them.

Cayden took Carter's leaving pretty hard. She hadn't been herself in a few days, and she rarely left my side. Aubrey invited me over, so I brought Cayden with me. She didn't know where we were going. We pulled up in front of his house and Cayden looked wondrously out of the window.

"Mommy where are we?" She asked.

I opened the back door and she got out of the car and grabbed my hand. We walked up the steps to the front door and <a href=http://c684645.r45.cf2.rackcdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/FFN_Drake_LEC_071212_5g.jpg>he</a> opened the door, with a dog at his side. Cayden looked down at the dog first and then up at Aubrey. He smiled down at her.

"Hey Cayden," He said.

"Hi," She said softly.

I kissed his cheek and walked inside. Aubrey's dog, October, backed up, looking curiously at Cayden. She walked closely next to me, as I went into the living room. I took off my shoes and asked for hers. I put them near the wall and sat down. He came back with a glass of wine for me and a cup of apple juice for Cayden.

"You like apple juice?" He asked.

She nodded and he handed the glass to her and smiled. She looked at me before she took a sip of the apple juice and leaned back on the couch. October sat quietly on the floor, looking up at Cayden.

"He wants to play," I said, smiling over at her.

"Can I?" She asked.

"Yeah go ahead," I responded.

She handed me her juice and stood up. She sat on the floor with October and he brought her one of his toys. She stood up and tossed it softly across the room. A smile fell on her face, and on mine too. Aubrey came and sat next to me on the couch. He put his arm around me and kissed my forehead.

"What's going on with her?" He asked softly.

I exhaled, "Her daddy ducked out of the picture..." I said softly. "She's taking it pretty hard."

"I'm so sorry to hear that. She's so young." He responded.

I nodded, "Hurts me to see her hurting. I don't know what to do."

"It'll get easier. It already is, look at her. Just keep her distracted." He responded.

I'd come to like Aubrey's home...the smell, the stillness. I looked over at him and smiled a little. He pecked my nose. Cayden came back to the couch and sat between us. I smiled and Aubrey did too. He grabbed a coloring book from the table. Cayden's eyes got big.

"Who is that for?" She asked.

"I don't know...I bought it for you..." He said, flipping through the pages.

She scooted to the edge of the couch and leaned over, resembling him.

"Can I color?" She whispered timidly.

"Yeah," He said, laughing and handing it to her. "There are some crayons in that bag over there."

Cayden hopped up and went to get the crayons before she lied down on her stomach on the floor and started to color. October came and lied down next to her. When I looked over, she was coloring and rubbing October at the same time.

"Do you think she's comfortable?" He asked. "I've got some pillows and stuff upstairs. Should I turn the TV on?"

"She's fine," I responded, smiling. "Thank you..."

He nodded and lied back. I put my hand on his chest and pecked his lips.

Cayden clung to me that night when she slept in my room. She was always awake before me and usually she had the TV on, or was moving around in my room being nosey, but today she lied quietly. I rolled over and opened my eyes.

"Morning lady love," I said.

"Can we call daddy?" She whispered.

I grabbed my phone from the nightstand and handed the phone to Cayden. She sat up, clicked on the phone icon and dialed Carter's number. She pulled her knees close to her. He answered this time.

"Daddy can you come get me today?" Cayden said, without even saying hello.

"...Nah I can't, Cayden." He responded.

"So next week?" She asked.

"Put your mom on the phone," He said.

"He wants to talk to you about next week," She said, handing the phone to me and sitting on her knees.

I put the phone to my ear.

"Hello," I answered. I was furious with Carter, but I played it off in front of Cayden.

"Sorry about not calling last night." He said.

"What happened?" I asked.

"...I don't know if I'm ready for this, Veronica. I thought I was but...I'm starting to think that I'm not." He said.

I stood up and left the room, shutting the door.

"You are NOT doing this to her." I said sternly, tears filling my throat.

"She'll forget," He said.

"She won't forget!" I shrieked. "Why would you come back if you were gonna do this to her? I hate you. I hate you so much," I said, my face wet with tears.

"Just let me take some time, please? I need to get myself together...make a plan for my life." He said.

"Well make sure that plan doesn't include Cayden, 'cause she's not yours to play with anymore." I responded, ending the phone call. I wiped my face and the door to my room opened and Cayden came out and looked up at me.

"What day is he coming so that I can write it down?" She asked, walking into her room.

I followed her into her room and sat down on the floor, watching as she erased yesterday and grabbed her pen.

"...daddy's not coming for a little while, Cayden. He had to go back to where he's from." I responded.

Cayden turned around and looked at me, "...he won't say goodbye?" She asked.

"He already left," I said, my heart breaking with hers.

"Is it because you wouldn't let him live here?" She asked.

I smiled and shook my head, "It's bigger than that," I responded. "Your daddy...needs to grow up before he can take care of you, the way that you need to be taken care of."

Cayden looked down at her hands and then at me. "You won't leave, will you?"

I shook my head fervently, "I'll never leave," I responded, my voice cracking.

She ran into my embrace and hugged me tightly. I could feel her tears hitting my shoulder.

A month had gone by, and we were in the middle of July. I spent most of my time with Cayden, since she was out of school for the summer. I was sitting on the living room floor, watching TV when she came and sat on my lap. I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her forehead.

"Is Daddy coming to get me today?" She asked.

I nodded. Cayden had me buy her a calendar and she wrote down when Carter was supposed to visit.

"Is he bringing me birthday gifts?" She asked.

"I don't know! What did you ask him for?" I asked.

"He's just supposed to know," She responded, playing with my fuzzy socks.

Time passed, and Cayden was getting more and more antsy by the minute. She was bouncing around the living room, going from one activity to the next. She memorized Carter's phone number, so she eventually begged me to call him. I gave her the phone apprehensively, praying that he answered. She held the phone in her small hands and pressed the numbers slow and precisely before she put the phone to her ear and began to bite her pinky nail. The phone rang and rang and rang. I took the phone from her.

"We'll give him another hour." I said.

"Okay," She said, smiling and going into her room.

For me... I knew that Carter wasn't coming. But for Cayden, who'd never been lied to, or deceived, she still saw the good in everyone...because she simply didn't know that the bad existed. I picked up my phone and dialed his number again. He sent me to voicemail.

"Carter Phillips, if you don't pick up your daughter today, you can forget coming to see her anymore. Period." I said softly and swiftly before I hung up the phone.

I sat on the couch, watching TV and waiting anxiously for Carter. 9 o'clock hit and a sleepy Cayden came out of her room carrying her overnight bag.

"Is he here yet?" She asked.

I shook my head, "Daddy's not coming tonight," I said softly.

She sighed, her shoulders hunched over, "Well why not? Did he call?" She asked.

I shook my head and she looked at the door, tears filling her eyes. "But he's supposed to come today, I wrote it down and he promised, 'cause he said we were gonna go to the movies tomorrow. And he promised!" She said, her tears falling now.

I stood up and walked towards her before I kneeled down and kissed her cheek, wiping her tears away.

"I'll take you to the movies. Maybe he just forgot, okay? We'll call him in the morning." I said.

She nodded and hugged me. I kissed her cheek, "I love you Cay." I said softly.

"I love you too," She mumbled.

I still want Ronnie and Carter to try again. kids have the best sense of judgement lol

run it

Omg IM Ghanian! I recently went for a visit last summer!

AWWW!!! That's relly cute how they act. I think someone is falling in love -coughs- Aubrey! lol
Run it

This is super cute :) ...but I can't help but want to see if Chris will be in here. Sorry, I love him! Hehe!

Aww, I'm digging this. RUN IT!

Thanks readers (:

I really like Ronnie and Aubrey together!! They seem to mesh together really well. But I am glad they are taking it slow and not rushing anything. I think it's great that Carter is more involved in Cayden's life and I am sure that Cayden wants her mommy and daddy together, but I just like Ronnie and Aubrey together better! I can't wait to see where their relationship goes! RUN IT!!!!

They are so adorable, I see them having a beautiful future. Just don't rush anything, let things just flow. It seems like Ronnie is comfortable with him than I thought, they tend to have a nice connection and they don't push themselves on to each other. Drake is amazing! A true keeper. <3

They are just the cutest

Her and Drake just sync, you know???
RUN IT:)))

Yes yes yes!!! Team Ronnie and Aubrey!!!

Awwwww Aubrey is soooo smitten with Ronnie. He's got it bad.
Caydens sweet, she loves her daddy Im glad Ronnies given him the opportunity to be in her life and spend time together. And just cause Cayden wants her parents together doesnt mean its meant to be. Im proud of Ronnie for never giving up and completing school even with all she had to deal with as a single parent, she still succeeded. GIRL ON FIRE. go girl. Im glad Deanns encouraging her to date and to move on with her life and try something new.

She went to his house and he came to hers aww. Aubreys making himself at home at her spot. Noticing what she likes and getting her a beautiful pair of yellow diamond earrings, those things aren't cheap by the way. Awww. I just hope he can be trusted, especially when it comes to Malilah too. I wonder how Cayden will feel with him around more?
RUN IT!!!

NIGHT!

I took Deann's advice and invited Aubrey over after his trip on Sunday. Cayden came out of her room carrying her overnight bag. I kneeled down and hugged her close. It was the second night this week that I wouldn't spend the night with her.

"D's letting me decorate cupcakes!" She shrieked.

I smiled, "Look out for that tooth! The tooth fairy has some money for you if it comes out at Deann's." I said.

"Yay!" She shrieked.

Deann grabbed her hand and smiled at me. I pecked her cheek, "Take care of my baby." I said.

"If you keep up your end of the deal, I'll hold up mine." She winked and left the apartment.

I went back into my room and put on a v-neck and some jeans. I put on some lip gloss and eyeliner. I had so much make-up, from so long ago...it never got put to use. I went back out into the living room. There were signs of Cayden everywhere. Her rainboots by the door. Her sweater draped over the chair. Her coloring books scattered all over the table. I thought about taking those things to her room when there was a knock at the door. I opened and Aubrey stood there with bags in his hands. I smiled and opened the door wider. He hugged me and walked inside.

"I brought wine and a gift for you," He said.

I took the wine, "Keep the gift." I responded.

"And do what with it? I bought it specifically for you." He said.

"Fine, I'll keep it." I said, taking the wine to kitchen.

I wondered what he thought of my place. If it wasn't clean enough or...too small. I walked back out into the living room to find him with his shoes off and his arm across the back of the couch.

"Are you thirsty or anything?" I asked.

He shook his head and smiled. I went and sat next to him. He let his arm fall around me and I went with the flow and allowed myself to sink into him. His eyes bounced around the living room.

"What's on your mind?" I asked softly.

"I like it here. It's comfortable. And Cayden's an artist, I peeped some of her work." He said.

I smiled, "Yeah she goes through these coloring books pretty fast." I said.

"Is she here?" He asked.

I shook my head, "No she's with a friend...So what gift did you bring?" I asked.

He handed me the small box and I delicately untied the ribbon and sat it aside. I took the top off, revealing a pair of yellow diamond earrings. I looked up at him.

"...yellow?" I asked.

"You used to wear yellow a lot at the club and you wore it to dinner the last time I saw you. I figured it was either your favorite, or one of your favorites." He said.

"These are beautiful." I said, studying them. "Yellow is my favorite, glad you noticed." I said softly.

He smiled and I looked over at him. "You look tired," I said, running my fingers through his hair.

"I'm always tired," He said, his eyes never leaving my face.

"Tell me about your trip," I said.

"It was cool...mostly business so I didn't get to see the city but I always love to go over there and receive so much love. They love music man," He said.

"I've always wanted to go there...and Amsterdam, and Ghana. Once I get this new job, I can start saving for it. Maybe I'll go when Cayden turns 10." I said.

"5 years? That's too long. Those years aren't guaranteed. Go sooner." I said.

"With what? My looks?" I responded.

"If it's something that you really want, you can save up for it and go sooner. It's possible." He said.

"I hope your optimism rubs off on me," I said.

"Me too," He responded, smiling down at me.

"I'll get us some wine," I said, before I stood up and walked to the kitchen. "You can turn the TV on," I called out from the kitchen.

2 seconds later, the TV flicked on. I smiled. It was one thing to have Cayden here on a Sunday night to watch TV with...but this was Aubrey. I went back out into the living room and he was sprawled out on the couch, with the pillow behind his head, watching Sportscenter. I went and sat on the opposite edge of the couch. He smacked his lips and smiled, sitting up swiftly and pulling me on top of him. I wrapped my arms around him and lied my head on his chest. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed my forehead repeatedly.

"What's the first word that comes to mind when I say Ronnie?" I asked.

A smile fell on his face, "I like this." He said. "Beautiful. What's the first thing that comes to mind when I say Aubrey?" He asked.

A word popped into my head immediately. "Hope." I whispered.

I Ike Aubrey. I love that he's the right mix of masculine + sensitive ...love that

Ooooh, run it!!!

Deann and I were in the living room, drinking and talking. We were able to talk freely tonight, since I let Cayden stay the night at Carter's. I'd been taking baby steps. He took her out for her first unsupervised visit last week, so he got one night with her this week.

"So have you spoken to Aubrey?" Deann asked, smirking over at me.

I nodded and blushed, "Yeah I have... He consistently sends me good morning texts, and we've facetimed a few times. He's in London right now."

Deann pulled her knees up onto the couch, "Do you see it going anywhere?" She asked.

I shook my head, "I think I'll mess it up somehow... I'm not emotionally ready for all that he's offering. And Cayden is s-"

"If this has anything to do with Cayden wanting you with Carter...she'll get over it, Veronica. I don't want you to completely throw the towel in because your 5-year old daughter wants you back with Carter. See where this goes with him, don't be so pessimistic." She said.

I pulled my knees close to my chest and nodded, "I'm trying, I'm trying."

"When are you gonna see him again?" She asked, giddy.

"He gets back on Sunday... I wanted to maybe invite him over for dinner, but I don't know. I don't really want him around Cayden yet." I said. "I don't wanna confuse her or...have too many guys in her life, you know? She's so young and for so long she's only had me."

"Baby steps." She said. "I'll take her Sunday...invite him over." She said, smiling.

"Why are you pushing this?" I asked, laughing a little.

"Because I wanna see you happy. A year ago, when I got married, you wept during the entire ceremony, and much of the reception! I want that for you. I want marriage for you...whomever that may be with. But you've gotta let yourself fall eventually." She said. "Why not take the first steps toward the cliff?"

"That was a terrible analogy, 'cause I'll fall to my death." I responded.

"Nope...someone's gonna be waiting to catch you." She said.

I crossed my eyes, "I've gotta stop taking advice from a happily married woman." I mumbled.

"I give the best advice!" She responded.

I opened the door to my apartment and shut the door to find Carter on the couch, watching TV. He smiled a little at me and shut the TV off.

"She went to sleep about an hour ago. How was dinner with Deann?" He asked, standing up.

I nodded, putting my hair behind my ear. "It was fun," I said, smiling.

I hadn't told Carter about my dinner with Aubrey. I didn't want him to know...it wasn't his business. He came and put his shoes on. I crossed my arms and watched him. He turned around and kissed my cheek.

"I'll see you soon." He said, looking me in the eye.

I looked away and nodded. He opened the door and left the apartment. I shut the door and exhaled. My phone vibrated with a text from Aubrey.

<strong>Thank you for spending time with me tonight. I enjoyed you. Goodnight, Ronnie.</strong>

I smiled, and a million tiny butterflies set flight in my stomach. I hadn't felt like this in a long time.

<em>I enjoyed you too. Goodnight Aubrey.</em>

The next morning, I got up and went to meet with my advisor. Cayden tagged along, skipping and singing as we walked through the building. When I got called into her office, I had Cayden sit quietly next to me and draw while I waited for this woman to deliver my fate.

"You have one credit hour left. You'll be able to graduate in December." She said, a smile on her face.

I exhaled and smiled back at her, "Thank you... This means so much." I said, rubbing Cayden's arm softly.

Cayden looked up from her book at me and then at my advisor. After we left, I looked down at Cay.

"I get to graduate! Did you hear that?" I said, smiling down at her.

She nodded, "Yeah! What does that mean?" She asked.

I laughed a little, "It means that I'm done with school," I said, stopping and kneeling down in front of her. "And I'll get a better job... and we'll have a better life."

"I like our life." She said.

"But it'll get better." I said.

"Are you gonna tell grandma?" She asked.

I nodded, "Of course!"

"And daddy?" She asked, searching my face.

She brought Carter up to me everyday now. She desperately wanted us together.

"Sure I'll tell your dad too." I responded.

She smiled of satisfaction and we continued walking.