naw21: Sábado, December 29, 2012 - 22:21
Secluded Heart
Zaira had everything going for her. She was excelling in her junior year at college at age 21, was involved in multiple extracurricular activities, and was madly in love with her boyfriend, Travis. Everything seemed to be perfect, that is, until she met him and he turned her world upside down.
Comentarios
With why can't Julian just tell her about his son? I wonder what all he's hiding.
Run it!!!
Zaira
Four days pass and today is Monday and I am doing alright. I am really just trying to accept everything, and move on. It’s awful that I have an STD, and I want to kill Travis, but it is treatable so I am thankful for that. I’m so thankful for Julian. I thank God for him every day. I would have fallen apart of it weren’t for him. I love him so much and I am just so happy that he is being so supportive through all of this. He stays strong for me and I love that. Well anyway, it’s around 2 pm and you won’t believe where Julian and I are on our way to. We are on our way to see Travis in prison. Shocked? Me too. Ever since last week, his lawyer has been blowing up my phone asking for me to visit Travis. I told him to go to hell the first few times he called, but then Julian convinced me to go. He told me that I need this closure. Travis will try to explain himself to me today. A part of me wants to know what he could possibly have to say to me. He better apologize. That would make me feel a bit better, but it will never undo the pain he caused.
“Babe you alright?,” Julian asked.
“I don’t want to see him....soon as I see his face, I know I am going to become angry,” I said.
“Do you want me to go in with you? Because you know I will.”
“No because I don’t want you to have to go to jail for killing him,” I said while laughing a bit.
“Well....I can’t argue with that. I know as soon as I see him, I will want to choke him to death or something.....he hurt my woman, my baby,” Julian said while rubbing my left hand.
“You’re so sweet......you’re perfect.”
“I’m far from perfect babe. You are one of my top priorities, I just want to make sure you are ok at all times.”
“I love you.”
“I love you too.” I lean over and peck Julian’s cheek and I sit back in my seat. Once we get to the prison, we get out and walk in. Julian waits in the waiting room but before I am lead to the visiting section, I give Julian a kiss and a hug. I am seated at a table separated by glass. A few minutes later, the inmates start to come in. I see Travis and I gasp when I see him. He has two black eyes, a busted lip and multiple bruises over his arms that are exposed from his outfit. He is walking kind of strangely too. Once he sees me, he smiles a bit. He sits down across from me and he picks up the telephone. I take a deep breath and then I pick up the phone and I look at him.
“Hi Zaira,” Travis said.
“Hi,” I said softly.
“....You look good Zaira.”
“What do you need to say to me?”
“.....I still.....I can’t believe what I did to you Zaira. I can’t believe that I.....raped you.”
“.....How could you do that to me Travis? How could you hurt me like that? Especially knowing that I was raped once before. You saw that pain I had to deal with and you knew how difficult it was for me. We were in a relationship for six months and we didn’t even have sex because of that rape.....so how could you put me through all this pain?”
“I can’t answer that.....but I feel awful Zaira I really do.”
“....Was our relationship just sex to you? Is that all you wanted from me? Was that all my worth was to you?”
“Not at all.....I loved you Zaira. I still do.”
“Yeah right Travis. You don’t hurt someone the way you hurt me if you love them. That makes no sense.”
“Well I do.....I have never loved anyone that way I love you Zaira. I swear to you I believe you are my soul mate. You were made for me.” I just look at Julian in complete shock. What?! Is he serious? He is seriously psychotic.
“Travis.....please spare me.....what you did to me that night, I will never ever forget. I won’t forget a single second of it.....you hurt me in the most personal way and you know that.....you raped me Travis. You taped the whole thing....and you didn’t have the decency to use a condom and you want to know something? I have a f***in’ STD because of you,” I said evilly. Travis just stares at me in shock; I take it he didn’t know.
“Zaira.....I don’t know what to say.....I’m sorry I truly am,” Travis said sympathetically.
“Ok you’re sorry fine. I can forgive you, but I won’t forget......ever since you raped me, I have been on a roller coaster of emotions. I have been angry, sad, depressed, just everything. I was just so beyond hurt that someone that I loved and was there for, for six months, could take advantage of me the way you did. I wanted to make you feel the pain that you caused me....I wanted you to be hurt just as bad as I was.......but in all honesty, I have a man that has been.....beyond amazing with all of this. Julian loves me so much Travis. He loves me so much. He loves me in ways you could never ever understand. It’s because of him that I’m not walking around with my head down like my world has ended. You hurt me, but my life is not over. I have Julian to thank for reminding me of that. I would probably be in a very dark place without him, but he is here and he assures me every day that I am going to be fine. Travis.....you may think I am your soul mate, but I know you are not mine. Julian is and I am his,” I said as tears streamed down my cheeks. I look at Travis and he puts his head down and I see tears stream down his face. Boy can he put on a show.
“....You can really put on a show Travis....but I’m not stupid. When you looked me in my eyes the night you raped me, I saw no soul. Your eyes were completely dark.....like you had no soul whatsoever. You can say sorry and cry all you want but I know better. You did what you did and you can’t take it back. It’s done and you have to live with it. You will spend a good portion of your life in prison and I honestly hope you rot in here, because I am going to be fine. I’m strong and I am going to make it,” I said.
“Zaira.....I honestly rather be in here than in the outside world anyway.....the only thing that has ever made me truly happy......was you and I know I can’t have you now. Zaira you mean everything to me and I know I hurt you and I don’t know why, but I did,” Travis said.
“Travis stop.....you sound insane.”
“Well maybe I am Zaira.” I just look at him and I shake my head. He is insane actually probably beyond insane.
“....I’m already being punished for this s*** Zaira. As you can tell I have been beaten multiple times because of what I did to you......these niggas in here don’t really like inmates that hurt women or children.....I’m lucky I haven’t been.....you know....raped,” Travis said softly.
“You deserve to be punished for what you did to me Travis.....and you should get an STD test so you can treated......you should probably tell your ho that too,” I said rudely.
“......You hate me don’t you?”
“You want the honest answer? I don’t. I don’t hate you. I don’t have the time or energy to hate you. My heart is not filled with hate......it’s filled with love. Not for you, but for everyone that I care about. I don’t need to carry hate in my heart when I have people that love me unconditionally.....I forgive you for what you did Travis I honestly do. If I didn’t forgive you, I would ruin all my relationships and I need them.” I look at Travis and I see him turn his head to the side slightly and then narrow his eyes at me. He looks angry and I just roll my eyes. Nothing about him will ever change.
“....That nigga is far from perfect you know,” Travis taunted.
“You’re one to talk Travis....no one is perfect. And that includes Julian....he has been through some tough s*** in his life and he has his problems just like the rest of us,” I said.
“Yeah that’s right.....so he’s told you about his son then right?” I just look at Travis in confusion. What the hell is he talking about?
“Wh-what? What are you talking about?,” I asked while stuttering a bit. Travis just smiles evilly and then sets down the phone and leaves the table. I just set the phone down. What is Travis talking about? Julian has a son? Why have I never heard about him? Or met him? Julian sees Alexis every weekend and that’s his niece so if he had a son I know he would treat him just as well as he treats Alexis. He would be there for his son; I know that for a fact. I’m confused. I just sigh heavily and I get up from my chair and I leave the visiting room. I find Julian in the waiting room and when he sees me he smiles and I give him a faint smile as well. He stands up from his chair and walks over to me.
“How was it babe?,” Julian asked.
“It was ok......he apologized but he said he still loved me and that I was his soul mate.....he is honestly insane. But I got all of these feelings I have bottled up towards him off of my chest, so I feel good about that,” I said.
“Well as long as you got closure.....you ready to go?” I nod my head and Julian grabs my hand and we leave. We get in his car and he starts to head to my apartment. I really want to know what Travis was talking about when he said Julian had a son. He could be lying, but he could be telling the truth. Why would Julian not tell me about this?
“Babe.....can I ask you something?,” I asked hesitantly.
“You can ask me anything baby,” Julian said.
“Well.....when I was talking to Travis.....he mentioned something....he said.....that you had a son.” Julian just looks over at me and I see he looks shocked. He instantly pulls over to the side of the road and he parks the car and turns to face me. I look at him and he looks angry and sad all at the same time.
“....Why the f*** was Travis telling you about that? How the f*** does he know about that?,” Julian asked in an aggravated tone.
“I don’t know Julian....he just said you weren’t perfect and I told him that I knew that.....then he mentioned it......is it true?,” I asked. He just looks down and takes a deep breath. I see him clench his fists and I can tell he is very angry. He just turns back to face the steering wheel and then he speeds off, causing us both to shift back in our seats at how quickly he picked up speed. I have never seen Julian like this. I must have hit a very sensitive topic.
“Julian.....I’m sorry but I want to know....I need to know. Do you have a son?,” I asked. Julian just clenches his jaw and shakes his head.
“You don’t?,” I asked.
“I don’t want to talk about this s*** Zaira!,” Julian yelled. I just look at him in shock. I have never seen him angry like this. Why is he acting like this?
“Julian.....I just want to know. Don’t you think I deserve to know?,” I asked.
“Just leave it alone,” Julian said calmly.
“Julian don’t shut me out....you know you can tell me anything. I will not judge you.”
“I’m just going to drive you home then I’m going back to my place for the night.”
“I don’t want you to do that.”
“Well that’s what I want to do.” I just sigh and I rest my head against the window. Once Julian gets to my apartment, I quickly get out with all of my things. The second I close the door, Julian speeds off. I just watch as he drives down the road. I don’t understand why he is acting like this. I just want to know the truth. What is Julian hiding?
Julian is just so perfect...he is so understanding and compassionate toward her. Run it
Lol right I think I think I just fell in love with Julian...
RUN IT
julian is perfect!
I freakin love Julian. He's not going anywhere and he's letting her know it. I hope her therapist can help her get through this. Damn chlymidia tho that sucks. Thank goodness it's tractable. And she needs to quit feeling ashamed about it. She was raped and got it. It's wasn't willingly caught. Swear Julian always has such sweet words to say. Love him. RUN IT!!!
I love that Julian tries to make sure zaria is ok mentally n supports her
Thanks for the love ladies I love ya'll <3
Zaira
Three weeks and a few days pass and I am doing a little bit better. I am really trying to move forward. I am still very hurt by what happened. I have been seeing a therapist the past two weeks, and she has been helpful. I talk to her about anything that I am feeling and it feels so good to get all of these negative thoughts and feelings I have had out of me. Julian has gone with me and I appreciate that. I love that man so much. He has been nothing but supportive to me. He tries so hard to do whatever I ask him and I appreciate that so much. He always knows what to say or do to make me feel better. He’s perfect I swear. I would not know where I would be without him. Well right now it’s Thursday afternoon and me and Julian are on our way to get my results from my STD/HIV and pregnancy tests I took last week. I’m kind of nervous. I just hope that everything comes back negative. I really would not know what to do if anything came back positive. Julian and I are waiting in the waiting area in the doctor’s office and the time now is 3 pm. I am missing class in order to make this appointment. At 3:15, the doctor calls Julian and I. We both stand up and I grab his hand and then we follow the doctor to a room down the hall. The doctor sits down in a chair and then Julian and I sit down across from him.
“Well Zaira, you did test negative for pregnancy and HIV,” the doctor said. I just exhale in relief. I look at Julian and he smiles and I hug him tight.
“Oh thank goodness. What about everything else?,” I asked.
“Well....there is no easy way to say this.....but.....you did test positive for chlamydia,” the doctor said sympathetically. The wind was literally just knocked out of me. What? I have an STD? No. I cannot believe this. This can’t be right.
“....Wh-what?,” I whispered.
“I’m sorry Zaira. You have chlamydia. This STD usually does not have noticeable symptoms in its early stages, so that is why you probably didn’t notice anything different.....now I know no one wants this diagnosis. But it’s treatable. I will give you antibiotics today and you will be fine, completely cured. Until then if you choose to have sex in the next two weeks, you will need to use a condom......do you have any questions?” I just look down as tears overflow my eyes. My whole world is caving in. Julian wraps his arms around me and I just bury my head in his chest and I start balling my eyes out. Why? Why does bad s*** always happen to me? What did I do to deserve this? What did I do that was so bad? Why am I being punished? I just want to scream. That is exactly what I do. I scream at the top of my lungs, startling Julian and the doctor.
“Baby it’s ok.....it’s treatable you will be fine,” Julian said. I just push Julian away and I get up from the chair and I run out of the room. I am so.....I have no words to describe my feelings. Julian comes running after me in the hallway and once he catches up to me, he grabs my waist to stop me and he spins me around to look at him.
“Baby calm down ok? This isn’t the end of the world....it’s ok. You are going to be fine,” Julian said.
“How can you be so supportive? Your girlfriend, has f***ing chlamydia and she didn’t get it from you. How can you even look at me? How can you not be disgusted with the fact that I got an STD from another man? Huh?,” I yelled. Julian just stares at me in complete shock. He knows that I NEVER swear so he knows I must be very angry and hurt.
“Because it’s not like you cheated on me with another man Zaira. You were raped. Travis took advantage of you that’s what happened......I feel horrible that Travis gave you an STD. It isn’t fair I know that, but it is going to be fine. You are going to be fine. You can be treated in just a matter of weeks,” Julian said in an encouraging tone. I just stare at him as he looks down at me. I don’t get him. How can he still be so supportive with all of this?
“....I don’t understand you.....I’m nasty and vile! Only nasty people get STD’s!,” I yelled.
“Zaira stop. You are not nasty or vile. You’re not a ho or anything like that. You got an STD because you were raped, not because you lied down and willingly opened your legs. Don’t you understand?,” Julian said calmly. I just shake my head and look down as numerous tears stream down my face.
“Listen baby this is treatable. You will take the medicine and be fine ok? Now let’s go get your prescription so we can go,” Julian offered. I just walk past him and I walk back to the room. I am so angry right now. I have never been so angry in my life. I am usually a very chill person, but my blood is boiling right now. This just isn’t fair. It’s sickening that Travis could just do what he did, possibly knowing he had an STD. I am thinking so many things right now. I am sure he got it from Lisa, with her nasty ass. What if Travis and I were still together and he gave this STD to me when I willingly had sex with him, because he did cheat on me with Lisa. Thank goodness we aren’t. That thought makes me sick to my stomach. He has no shame. That man did not love me one bit. That s*** really hurts. It hurt then and it still does. Ahhh! I feel like hitting someone. I really need to calm down; being angry is not in my nature. But right now I wouldn’t mind taking Julian’s gun, finding Travis and Lisa in jail and ending their misery. That is how mad and hurt I am. I get the prescription from the doctor and then I leave in a hurry. Julian follows quickly behind me. I really don’t want to talk to him right now, I am way too upset. I don’t want to say anything that I might regret later on, so I’m going to try to keep my mouth closed for a bit. We get to his car in the parking lot and we both get in and Julian starts up the car and looks at me. I know he wants to say something, but I don’t want to hear it.
“Julian can you please just drive to the pharmacy so I can get this prescription? I don’t want to talk,” I said quickly.
“Alright babe,” Julian said softly. I just sigh heavily and I rest my head against the window and Julian pulls off. I cry the entire ride to the pharmacy. I can’t believe I still have tears to cry. I have been crying ever since I was raped, which was like 7 weeks ago. I’m sick of crying. I don’t want to cry anymore. I don’t want to be sad. I want to be over it. I want to be happy. I want to be happy with Julian. He is truly amazing. He has been nothing but supportive. I know he loves me and I love him. I love that man with all my heart. He is my everything. I need him and I just hope I don’t push him away. Sometimes when things get rough, I tend to do that with people that care about me. He doesn’t deserve that though. Once we get to the pharmacy, we get the prescription filled and then we leave and head to my apartment. We both get out and walk in and Julian closes and locks the door behind us. I go into the kitchen and I get out a bottle of water and I quickly take the pills with the water. Afterwards I sigh and I see Julian looking at me.
“.....I can cook us dinner if you want,” Julian said softly.
“I’m not really hungry,” I said.
“Are you sure babe?”
“Yes.”
“....I know you’re angry....and hurt. I know I can never ever understand or feel the pain you do dealing with all of this, but you have to remember that I am here for you.”
“.....I know.....I just don’t understand how you are so accepting about all of this....to be honest.....I can’t even look at myself in the mirror anymore Julian.....I am disgusted by what I see looking back at me. I hate every inch of my body......I feel like a used ho. I feel like trash,” I said as tears begin to cloud my vision.
“Oh Zaira....baby how can you feel like that? You know you are not a ho, don’t even think that for a second.” I just look at Julian. I don’t get him. He always knows what to say. He refuses to let me push him away and I really appreciate that because I need him. I truly do.
“......So when you look at me Julian....what do you see? Tell me,” I asked. Julian smiles a bit and moves closer to me and wipes my face of my tears.
“I see.....this beautiful, sexy woman.....that right now, is hurt......but this woman is strong. She’s stronger than she knows. She has been through some very tough things in her life, but she is still here. She’s still standing tall even if she might not see it. She thinks that Travis broke her spirit, but he really didn’t. He may have put a few cracks in it, but it’s far from broken. How do I know that? Because she still manages to smile even though her heart is aching. She still makes sure her man is happy, even though she isn’t.....when I look at her.....I see the woman of my dreams. No experience she goes through will ever change that. That is what I see when I look at you Zaira,” Julian said strongly. Oh. My. God. Is this man an angel sent from heaven? He must be because what he said to me just melted my heart. What he just said has to be the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me. He is beyond amazing. He’s perfect for me and I am not going to let him go. Ever. Tears are flowing down my face like a river. I just run to Julian and he laughs a bit as he picks me up and holds me tight. I wrap my legs around his waist and I hold onto him tight.
“I love you so much Julian,” I said through tears.
“I bet I love you more,” Julian said jokingly. I just laugh a bit and so does Julian. Today could have been one of the worst days of my life, but as usual, Julian is doing his best to make it one of my best. Julian has been amazing through all of this and I am really starting to realize something; with him by my side, I’m going to be just fine.
Julian is so good to her.
I hope Zaria can get through this.
RUN IT
Aww for Zaira she's going through it. But Im glad Ju is there by her side through it all. Helping her through this. I do think she should see a therapist or something to help with how she's feeling. That necklace Julian gave her was sweet. He's such a good man. I hope Zaira can move on and go back to the old her. She's such a sweet girl. Run It
Julian is such an amazing man. Where can I find one like him ? Lol
poor zaira
Aww poor zaria I hope she gets thru this
Julian
It’s been about a month and a few days since Zaira was raped and well....Zaira has changed. She isn’t the outgoing, fun person she used to be. She just....isn’t happy right now. She hardly eats, barely sleeps, has changed her style completely and she has even put on a few pounds. She wears only baggy clothes, in an attempt to hide her body. She doesn’t wear makeup or any jewelry anymore. I think she is trying to make herself look plain or less attractive. She still looks absolutely beautiful to me. I think she is really struggling. I think she might even be depressed. She still smiles and gets her homework done, but I know that she is having a hard time with the aftermath of the rape. Some days she only wants to cuddle with me, but some days, she doesn’t even want me to touch her. Some days she wants numerous kisses from me, but some days she doesn’t want any. This is really hard on both of us. Well right now, Zaira is taking her shower and I am sitting on her bed waiting for her. She comes out of the bathroom all dressed and she instantly sits next to me on the bed and I look at her and smile. I kiss her cheek and she smiles a bit.
“Baby, I have something for you,” I said.
“Really babe?,” Zaira asked. I just nod my head and I go into the nightstand drawer and I hand Zaira a long jewelry box. She just looks at me and smiles.
“Baby you did not have to get me anything,” Zaira said.
“Open it gorgeous,” I said. She looks at me and I see her eyes soften.
“What’s wrong?,” I asked.
“.....Am I really still gorgeous to you?,” Zaira asked hesitantly.
“Zaira....you are the most beautiful woman in the world to me. Open your gift.”
“I love you.”
“I love you too baby.” Zaira nods her head and she opens the box and her eyes bulge in shock. She takes out the necklace and then looks at me.
“Julian....oh my god. This is beautiful,” Zaira said.
“I know it isn’t much, but I just wanted to get you a gift. Just to remind you that I love you....let me put it on you,” I said. She hands the necklace and me and she turns her back to me and I place the necklace around her neck and latch it. I slide Zaira in between my legs and I wrap my arms around her waist and I hold her tight. I rest my cheek against Zaira’s and I feel tears on my cheek. I look and see Zaira crying.
“Baby what’s wrong?,” I asked. Zaira just sighs and rests her head on my shoulder. I kiss her cheek multiple times as I gently rub her stomach.
“Talk to me baby. Tell me what’s wrong,” I said.
“Everything,” Zaira said through tears.
“Everything is wrong?”
“I just feel....very unhappy Julian. I don’t feel like myself at all. I’m depressed.....I swear if I didn’t have you Julian.....I wouldn’t know what to do.” Damn. My baby is hurt so bad and this s*** hurts me to be honest. I hate seeing her like this. I wrap my arms around her tightly and I put my lips to her ear.
“Zaira, baby you mean everything to me. I love you so damn much. If you’re hurting then so am I. You have to know that I am right here for you. If you want to cry in my arms for days, then I will let you. If you want me to stay away from you for days so you can vent on your own, then I will let you. You tell me anything you need and I will do it for you no questions asked,” I whispered in Zaira’s ear.
“...Why are you so amazing huh?,” Zaira whispered back.
“Why are you?” Zaira just smiles a bit and closes her eyes as I kiss her cheek multiple times.
“Thank you for the necklace. It means so much to me, I love it,” Zaira said.
“I’m glad you like it baby,” I said.
“.....Can you do something for me?”
“Anything baby.”
“....Can you.....touch me? Show me your hands are different than Travis’ and Lisa’s. Show me you won’t hurt me,” Zaira said through tears. Oh my god. That s*** just hurt me so deep. Zaira.....she is so damaged by all of this, but I will help her get through this. I take my hands from her waist and I gently caress her body from her neck down to her arms, her waist, and up and down her legs. I felt her shiver while I did this; I hope this is a good thing.
“How’s that baby?,” I whispered.
“Your hands...feel so good baby.....I wish I could make love to you,” Zaira said softly.
“...You mean that?”
“Yes. I need to be intimate with you so bad.....I need you to show me that sex shouldn’t be something I fear.....it should be something beautiful that we share together as a couple,” Zaira said as tears ran down her cheeks. Zaira is breaking my heart right now. To hear some of her thoughts, they hurt me so much. They hurt my heart. Damn.
“You’re so right baby.....sex is a beautiful experience that will bring us closer together as a couple....when the time is right, it will happen,” I said.
“....Can I be honest?,” Zaira said softly.
“Of course baby.”
“.....That night....when Travis raped me.....I wanted to make love to you so bad. I thought about it all day....I was rushing home because I know you had a special night planned. I had it all planned out....we were going to enjoy the dinner you made, then I wanted to enjoy making love to you until the sun came up....I felt so ready and willing that night.....but Travis and Lisa quickly ruined our plans without even knowing.....you know....when I had my boyfriend in high school, the man I lost my virginity to....I didn’t really like sex. It was uncomfortable most of the time because we were both so new to it, so we had a lot of learning to do....but with you Julian.....I knew I would love it. I just had this feeling that sex with you.....would be one of the best experiences of my life....I knew that because our chemistry is off the charts and we love each other so much.....I knew you would be so gentle and loving towards me.....I knew it would have been perfect....I wish I could go back to that night and do something different. I don’t know what, but I would have fought harder or something. I would do anything to get myself out of that situation.”
“Zaira.....baby everything you just said is really hitting me right in my heart....it’s really sad that you feel the way you feel....but baby.....you have to know that God does not make us go through anything that we can’t handle. And in God’s plan....there are no mistakes. Everything happens for a reason.”
“I know I just...I wish I understood the reason why I had to get raped by Travis, a man that I once loved....I know I shouldn’t question anything, I just need to deal with it.....but it’s so hard Julian. It’s so hard to keep living life when I just want to disappear.” Damn, Zaira is hurting my heart right now. I don’t even know what to say.
“I don’t want you to disappear.....where would I be without you huh?,” I said softly. Zaira turns her head to look at me and she smiles.
“I don’t know where I would be without you Julian,” Zaira said.
“You’re strong Zaira,” I said.
“I don’t feel strong right now.....I feel weak.....completely broken down and torn apart.”
“But you’re still here right? So you must not be that weak babe.”
“.....I guess you’re right....but that’s not how I feel.”
“....Well I understand that baby....tell me what I can do. I will do anything to help you get through this.”
“So far....you’re doing everything right Julian.” I just smile and I lean in and I kiss Zaira’s lips. She turns her head forward and rests it against my shoulder and I hold her tight. I know that Zaira is strong and she will get through this no matter what. I just hope she realizes this too because as soon as she does, the sooner she will be able to move on.
man i was on the verge of tears the whole time while reading that last add.. i feel so bad for zaira. I really hope she can get past this. and julian is being sooooo supportive. i am so happy that he is there.. alexis and julians mom are also helping.. so thankful that travis and lisa are going to prison. they will not not get away with this! RUN IT
Run it
These past few chapters have been absolutely crazy and not in a good way. My heart truly goes out to Zaira and I commend her for holding her head up even though this issue is probably ripping her apart on the inside. Love, love, LOVE me some Julian. Straight up husband material! This story is hella intense. Run It
Poor Zaira. Im glad Ju didnt do anything but break Travis nose. Cause I know he wanted to kill him and Lisa. Poor Zaira having nightmares and feeling fearful and sad again. After coming so far since the first rape. The fact that Travis sick ass recorded it is horrible but im glad he did now they can punish his ass. Run It.
Poor Zaria...
Since Julian didn't do anything to them, I hope both Travis and Lisa rot in jail
Run it
Julian
I wake up the next morning at around 9 am. I look down at my chest and I see Zaira sleeping peacefully. I notice her cheeks are tear stained and I just sigh heavily. It took her forever to fall asleep last night. She could not stop crying. I started to sing to her and she didn’t know I could sing, but that really helped her fall asleep. I am still fuming. My blood is still boiling. I just cannot believe what Travis and Lisa did to my baby. They hurt her so deeply. Zaira was finally getting her life on track. She was becoming more and more comfortable with sex and that was exciting to the both of us. But last night, Travis and Lisa took all her progress away from her. That angers me to my core. Zaira is such a beautiful person inside and out and she does not deserve this s***. She deserves everything good in this world and nothing less. I just cannot imagine how hurt and scared Zaira must have been last night. It’s so hard for me to imagine Travis being inside of Zaira and that thought makes me sick to my stomach. I try to not to even think about that. It took everything I had in me to not go out last night, find Travis and Lisa, and then torture them to death. I wanted to be here for Zaira though. I couldn’t just leave her alone. What if she woke up and I wasn’t there? She would be scared to death. I couldn’t do that to her. She needs me and I know that. I feel really guilty though. I should have offered to go pick up Zaira, but I didn’t want to leave the food while it was still cooking. Zaira also said she would be fine taking the bus. I should have known better though. I should have known the second Travis found Zaira alone, he would go after her. I should have been smarter. I feel partially responsible for this, and I know Zaira doesn’t blame me, but this is still weighing on my heart. I gently rub Zaira’s cheek and I kiss her forehead. I slide out from under her and I sit up and I gently stroke her hair. I did call my mom last night once Zaira was sleeping and told her what happened. She was hurt too. She feels so bad for Zaira. Zaira and I are going to go over to my mom’s house today and we are going to stay there until Monday. I think we both just need to get away. I will ask Zaira if she wants to go to the hospital. She said the first time she was raped, the rape test they gave her was so uncomfortable and she never wanted to go through that again. We probably should have gone to the hospital as soon as she got back home, but we were both so emotion-filled, we weren’t really thinking clearly. If Travis left evidence, they would have found it last night, but now, since Zaira took a bath, the evidence may be all gone. It doesn’t really matter though because I know who did it and trust me, he and his b**** are going to pay. I plan to find them tonight and cause them major damage. As much as I want to just put a bullet into each of their heads, that’s too easy. They have to suffer. They have to suffer the way Zaira suffered. I am going to try so hard not to kill them, just because I don’t want to go to jail. I want to be here for Zaira. I just know that whatever happens, they will regret putting their hands on my woman. Why the hell did Travis think he had the right to just take advantage of Zaira’s body the way he did? What makes him think he can just force himself inside of her and hurt her in the most intimate way? No. Zaira is mine, not his. I will make sure he learns that lesson too. I sigh a bit and I leave the bedroom and I go out to the living room. I sit on the couch and I turn on my laptop. I sign onto my e-mail account and I stroll through the numerous new items in my inbox. I stop when I see a message from an unknown person. I click on the e-mail and a link for a video comes up. What could this be? I click on the link and I am angered by what I see start to play on my screen. That sick ass nigga recorded himself raping Zaira!! I really want to kill him now!! I watch as I see Travis stuff the cloth in Zaira’s mouth and I see everything. I cringe and I turn away because it is incredibly hard to watch the woman I love go through this. I notice the point where Zaira passes out and I can feel my blood boil instantly by what I see next. I see Lisa hold Zaira’s mouth open and Travis takes his d*** from inside of Zaira and he plays in her mouth with his d***. If I could jump through this damn computer screen and strangle Travis right now, I would. I have never been so damn angry in my life. I clench my jaw and fists in anger. I don’t want to watch anymore but I feel like this tape will show exactly what happened to Zaira. She may need to know. As hard as it is, I keep watching. When Travis climaxes, he does not climax inside of her. That nasty b**** Lisa swallowed his cum. So this nigga at least had the decency to do that? f*** him. He’s dumb as hell anyway. I can send this tape to the police within seconds and he and Lisa will be arrested. Matter of fact; let me do that right now. I call Crime-Stoppers in my area and they give me an email address for the local police. I attach the video, and then explain Zaira’s story and then I press send. Maybe now I won’t have to harm Travis or Lisa myself, even though I still want to. I just don’t want any legal trouble. I sold drugs long enough which was illegal, so I don’t want to do any more illegal activities. I sigh and I close my laptop and I sit back into the couch.
“Hi,” Zaira said softly. I turn to the doorway and I see Zaira standing there. Her eyes are so swollen and red.
“Hi gorgeous...come here,” I said. Zaira slowly walks over to the couch and sits next to me and I hug her tight and she hugs me. I then examine her face and move some of her hair out of her face.
“How are you feeling?,” I asked. Zaira just shrugs her shoulders and I gently rub her left hand.
“.....I can’t even imagine how you feel Zaira. I know you are beyond hurt right now....do you want to go to the hospital?,” I asked.
“I don’t know.....I realized that last night I washed the evidence away. I just wanted to get rid of any trace of Travis and Lisa,” Zaira said wearily.
“I understand baby.”
“...In about six weeks I should get tested for any STD’s and in three months HIV and I may need a pregnancy test later.....so until then.....we can’t....you know,” Zaira said while looking down.
“I know baby I definitely understand.” I look over at Zaira and I notice her close her eyes as she starts crying.
“Zaira, baby it’s ok,” I said while gently rubbing Zaira’s back.
“.....I’m so sorry Julian. I just.....I was so ready to be intimate with you. I really wanted to take our relationship to that next level....I have been making great progress with you when it came to my intimacy issues.....now I have to start all over,” Zaira said through tears.
“And I am going to be with you every step of the way baby. I am not going anywhere. I promise.”
“....How can you be so supportive? How can you look at me and not be disgusted?” I think now is the time. I have to tell her.
“Because I love you Zaira,” I said strongly. Zaira just looks at me in shock. Her eyes water even more and I just smile at her.
“You....you love me?,” Zaira whispered.
“I love everything about you Zaira. I would not change a single thing about you...I love your smile, your laugh, how caring you are, how beautiful you are inside in and out. I love you so much Zaira. Words could never ever describe the feelings I have for you in my heart Zaira.” There I said it. It feels so good to get that off of my chest. Zaira just looks me in my eyes and I gently rub her left hand.
“Julian.....I love you too. I love you so much. You mean everything to me. You treat me so well. You always make me feel special and cared for. Your heart....you have such a good heart Julian. I love that about you. You always put me before yourself and you take such good care of your family.....god I love you,” Zaira said through tears. Hearing Zaira say that means everything to me. Zaira puts her head in my chest and I wrap my arms around her tight. I can feel how much she needs me and I know I will be there for her every step of the way.
“....I’m so lucky to have you,” Zaira whispered. I just smile and I kiss her forehead.
“Zaira....I need to tell you something,” I said. She just nods her head and I pull out of the embrace and I look at her.
“Well......I got an e-mail this morning.....I think it was from Travis.....he recorded the entire.....rape,” I said cautiously.
“....He....he recorded it?,” Zaira asked in fear.
“Yeah he did.....from the beginning to the end.....I did watch it because I wanted to be able to tell you what you went through....I did not want you to watch it.”
“Was it.....was it bad? Be honest.”
“Well.....the whole thing lasted about forty five minutes.....Zaira.....they were both....very forceful. When you were passed out......Lisa held your mouth open while....Travis....well.....he......you know......put it in your mouth.” Zaira just turns her head and holds her stomach in disgust.
“....Oh my god.....did Lisa do anything to me?,” Zaira said just above a whisper.
“No.....she just watched other than the beginning when she was feeling on you......when Travis....you know.....when he came....she swallowed. He did not climax inside of you.” Zaira just nods her head and puts her face in her hands.
“Zaira I sent the police your story and that tape. I am sure they will pick up Travis and Lisa as soon as they can,” I said.
“You did that?,” Zaira questioned.
“Of course I did.....now Zaira. I won’t even lie. When I found out about what Travis and Lisa did to you....I wanted to kill them. I thought about every imaginable way to kill someone. I wanted them to suffer the way you made me suffer.....but I could not just leave you last night. I know you needed me....and I do not want to do something I will regret later.....so that is why I sent everything to the police....because if I get involved, trust me....I would be going to jail for murder.”
“I understand.....Julian you cannot leave me. I need you.”
“I know that baby.....I called my mom last night and told her what happened.....would you like to stay with her and Alexis until Monday?”
“....I would like that.”
“Good.....baby....can I ask you something?”
“Yeah.”
“Well.....lately I have been thinking about something.....we spend all of our free time together. I basically live with you and you with me.....so.....I would like to get a new place for us. I want to keep you safe so I think you should move.....would you like for us to get a place together?”
“Julian......I would love that. I really would.” I just smile and lean in and kiss Zaira’s cheek.
“It’s a plan then baby.....how about you go get ready? We can stop by the police station before we go to my mom’s.....would you like some breakfast?,” I offered.
“No thanks I’m not really hungry.”
“Ok....go get ready beautiful.” Zaira nods her head and she gets up from the couch and heads back to her bedroom. Right now, she seems ok. She is strong I know she is and I know this situation is going to be very difficult for her to get through. But she has to know she has all the support in the world from people that care about her. I take out my phone and I call Angela and I tell her everything that happened. She tells me that she and Cameron will be right over. 25 minutes later, Angela and Cameron come and they walk in the apartment as I close and lock the door behind him.
“Where is she?,” Angela asked in a hurry.
“In the bedroom she should be out shortly,” I said.
“I can’t believe that nigga and that ho did this s*** to Zaira. It’s not right man,” Cameron said.
“s*** I know.....I was beyond pissed when I found out.....but they will get exactly what they deserve, that’s a promise,” I said.
“Julian, if you want me and you can cause some damage right now,” Cameron offered.
“Baby no, I don’t need you and Julian going to jail....that tape is all the proof the police needs. Travis and Lisa will rot in prison,” Angela said. Then, Zaira comes out of the bedroom all dressed.
“Oh boo,” Angela said. Angela walks over to Zaira and they hug each other tight as they cry. They are both crying so hard. Cameron and I do our best to console them. After a five minute embrace, Angela and Zaira pull out of the embrace. Angela wipes Zaira’s tears then kisses her check.
“Zaira....I am so sorry for what happened.....for you to have to go through this pain again.....is very unfair. It’s not right....but Julian, me and Cameron are here for you,” Angela said.
“I know Angela. I love you,” Zaira said.
“I love you too boo,” Angela said. Cameron then comes over to Zaira and hugs her tight for a few minutes.
“You’re strong Zaira, you will get through this,” Cameron said.
“Thanks Cameron,” Zaira said. She kisses his cheek and then looks at me. She walks over to me and she rests her head on my shoulder and wraps an arm around me. I smile a bit and I kiss her forehead.
“Zaira I promise if I see Lisa I will f*** her up. That nasty ass b****,” Angela said.
“....I don’t want any of ya’ll to fight either of them.....even though I think they deserve it, I need you all here with me not sitting in jail for assault or murder. Ok?,” Zaira said. Me, Angela and Cameron nod our heads. I am going to try so hard to control my anger but I am still very angry about all of this. I just have to keep my cool for Zaira’s sake. I don’t want to abandon or disappoint her.
“Baby I think we should go to the hospital ok? I want you to get checked out. Then we can go to the police station, then to my mom’s alright?,” I said. Zaira just nods her head and I kiss her cheek.
“We will come with you two to the hospital and police station,” Angela said. Zaira smiles a bit and nods her head. I go to the bedroom to take a quick shower then I get dressed real quick. Zaira and I pack our bags to stay with my mom. Once we are ready, me, Zaira, Angela and Cameron head out to the hospital in different cars. Once we get to the hospital, we tell the receptionist Zaira’s story and she is lead to a room. She changes into a hospital gown and then sits on the hospital table. I stand next to her and hold her hand tight, while Angela and Cameron sit in chairs next to the table. A few minutes later, a female doctor comes in and starts the examination. She starts with asking Zaira what happened. She then examines Zaira’s body for any bruises or cuts. She notices Zaira has bruises on her arms and legs from where the handcuffs were. The doctor also notices a scar from where Zaira was injected with the drug, since Lisa had no clue how to use a needle. The doctor takes pictures of all of these bruises. The doctor then checks Zaira’s vitals and takes a blood sample. After that, Zaira is lied down on the hospital bed and is asked to open her legs. The doctor takes vaginal swabs and I could tell it was slightly uncomfortable for Zaira. She held my hand tightly until it was over. Once that is done, the doctor gives Zaira a cheek swab. The doctor ends with a few more questions then tells Zaira to come back in about six weeks for STD testing and three months for HIV testing. Zaira changes back into her clothes and then we all leave and head to the police station. Once we get there, we all go in and I think all of our heart drops by what we see. We see Travis and Lisa both handcuffed sitting down. I swear I could just bust both of their heads open. When Zaira sees them, she instantly moves behind me. She can’t face them and who could blame her? I see Cameron clench his fists and Angela does the same. I go to the front desk and I tell them who I am and who Zaira is and they say they arrested Travis and Lisa and they will be held without bail until their trail. This news is beyond exciting. I hope they rot in jail, then hell. I ask if I can talk to them and the police officer says that is fine. I stand right in front of Travis and Lisa and I look down at them. Travis looks up at me with the most evil look on his face, and Lisa looks at me terrified.
“You know? After what you two did to my woman last night, I thought about so many ways to kill the both of you. Slice your necks, beat you to death, or one shot to the head each. Neither of you deserve to even walk this earth after what you did to Zaira.....you two deserve the slowest and most painful deaths known to man. It’s taking everything I have in me right now, to not strangle you two right now....but I realized something. I’m better than the both of you could ever be. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life in jail, but you two will. You two exactly where you belong,” I said sternly. I turn to walk away but then I turn around and I look right at Travis. Before I even knew it, my right fist connected with Travis’ nose. I heard a cracking noise and Travis yells out in pain. I broke his nose, just how I wanted. Now I am somewhat satisfied :) I look and see Travis’ nose bleeding and I see his nose his crooked. Lisa just looks at me and I smile a bit and then I turn away. Me, Zaira, Angela and Cameron leave in a hurry.
“My nigga he deserved that s*** at least,” Cameron said while laughing a bit.
“Yeah one hit and you broke his nose. Good job,” Angela said while laughing too.
“I could not help myself. Seeing the both of them....brought out so much anger in me. I’m surprised I didn’t do worse,” I said. I look at Zaira and she smiles a bit and I kiss her cheek.
“Ok we are going to head home.....Zaira if you need us, please don’t hesitate to call us. If you want to call me just to cry, I will listen. Me and Cameron are both here for you,” Angela said.
“Yeah Zaira. Don’t forget that,” Cameron said. Zaira nods her head and she hugs them both and they get in Cameron’s car and then they leave. Zaira and I get in my car and I drive to my mom’s house. Zaira was pretty quiet the drive there. I hope she’s ok. I want her to be able to talk to me whenever she needs to.
“Zaira, baby I don’t want you to hold any feelings in. If you need to talk, you know I will listen,” I said.
“I know,” Zaira said softly. Zaira takes my right hand and kisses it gently and I smile.
“You hungry babe? I know you haven’t eaten today. We can get your favorite Chipotle,” I offered. Zaira nods her head and I smile and nod my head. On the way to my mom’s house, we stop by Chipotle and we eat there. Once we are done, we continue the drive to my mom’s house. We get to my mom’s house at around 1 pm. I get all of our bags and I unlock the door to the house and Zaira and I walk in. I close the door and then Zaira and I take off our shoes and jackets. My mom comes to the door and she looks so worried.
“Zaira, baby are you alright?,” my mom asked with concern.
“I’m ok Karen,” Zaira said softly. My mom hugs Zaira so tight and they share a long embrace. My mom says a prayer for Zaira and then she pulls out of the embrace. My mom wipes Zaira’s face of the tears that fell then kisses her cheek. My mom then hugs me tight. Alexis then comes downstairs to the door. She runs to Zaira and Zaira picks her up and holds her tight.
“Aunty Zaira you ok?,” Alexis asked.
“I’m ok baby girl,” I said.
“Julian, why don’t you and Zaira go get settled upstairs. Zaira I want you to rest ok?,” my mom said.
“Ok ma,” Julian said.
“Zaira, can I go with you and Juju?,” Alexis asked.
“I would like that Alexis,” Zaira said. I get me and Zaira’s bags and then we both walk upstairs to my bedroom. I set down our bags and Zaira sets Alexis down on the bed. Zaira lies down and Alexis lies down next to her. They face each other and Alexis gently rubs Zaira’s cheek.
“Zaira, I’m sorry that mean man and lady hurt you. You don’t deserve it.....but God will take care of them ok?,” Alexis said.
“You’re so sweet baby girl, thank you,” Zaira said while smiling a bit. Zaira kisses Alexis’ cheek and then they cuddle close. I just smile and I go over to them and I kiss both of their cheeks.
“I’ll be downstairs baby. I’m going to talk to my mom for a bit. Call me if you need me,” I said.
“Ok baby,” Zaira said. I leave the room closing the door behind me and I go downstairs to the kitchen and I see my mom sitting at the kitchen table. I sit next to her and she gently rubs my hand.
“How is she doing?,” my mom asked.
“She seems ok right now....last night she couldn’t stop crying though. Ma she is so hurt.....she has already had to go through this once before, and now again? It ain’t right,” I said.
“I know it’s not baby.....but she’s strong. She made it once before and she can do it again....it might be harder this time though since she once loved the man that raped her. She is going to become very cautious about those she thinks are close to her. You have to prove to her that you will not hurt her. You have to be there for her even when she doesn’t want you to be. She might push you away because she is hurting, but don’t take that personal at all Julian. Just continue to be there for her.”
“You’re right ma....I know she needs me and I will be there for her.....I even asked her to get a place with me. I don’t want her out of my sight anymore.”
“That sounds like a good idea baby....I know how much you love her.”
“Yeah I do. And I told her that this morning.....she loves me too.”
“Oh Julian that’s great. I am so happy for you two.....I know this may be a rough patch, but you two will get through it, I know you will. Love conquers all never forget that.”
“I know ma, thanks.”
“How are you doing with all of this? I know your hot tempered self wanted to cause some sort of damage.”
“You’re right about that.....I was so angry last night ma. I wanted to find Travis and Lisa and make them suffer. I wanted to kill them, but then I realized that wouldn’t be right. I have to let the legal system take care of them because Zaira needs me and I can’t abandon her......I did break Travis’ nose though,” I said while smiling a bit.
“You did?!”
“Yeah....when we went to the police station, Travis and Lisa were there and I talked to them. You know, I told them how I felt. The next thing I know, my right fist connects with Travis’ nose and I broke it,” I said while shrugging.
“Oh Julian....now you know I do not condone violence......but he at least deserved that,” my mom said while laughing a bit.
“You’re right about that......but ma it really hurts me that Travis hurt Zaira in such a personal way. She was really starting to feel more comfortable with sex, but Travis and Lisa took that away from her....that’s what hurts the most.”
“I understand baby....I know it’s not fair, but you and Zaira just have to work at this together. You two will get there, don’t worry.” I just nod my head and I hug my mom tight and I kiss her cheek. We talk for a little bit, but about an hour later, I hear Zaira scream from upstairs. My mom and I quickly get up from the table and run upstairs to my bedroom. I open the door and I see Zaira sitting up in the bed with Alexis in her lap and they are holding each other tight. Zaira is crying.
“Baby what’s wrong?,” I asked quickly. Zaira is shaking and she can barely talk.
“She had a nightmare Juju,” Alexis said softly.
“Baby girl let’s give Julian and Zaira some alone time,” my mom said. Alexis nods her head and kisses Zaira’s cheek and then gets out of Zaira’s lap and down from the bed. She walks over to my mom and they leave the room closing the door behind them. I walk over to the bed and I get in and Zaira grabs my shirt and pulls me close to her and cries heavily on my chest. I wrap my arms around her the best way I can.
“I...I can’t get it out of my mind. Every time I close my eyes....I see Travis. He is all I see,” Zaira said through tears.
“I know baby I know. It’s ok,” I said. Zaira moves closer to me and wraps her arms around my neck. Damn she really needs me right now. I can feel that.
“Zaira....this is going to be hard for both of us. But we have each other, and people that care about us. So we can make it. It may be a long, difficult road but I believe in you. I believe in us,” I said.
“I love you so much,” Zaira whispered.
“I love you too Zaira.” I kiss her forehead multiple times and then I lie down pulling Zaira to lay her head on my chest as she lies down next to me.
“Try and relax babe,” I said softly.
“Julian....sing to me. I love your voice,” Zaira whispered. I nod my head and I start to softly sing a lullaby. I gently rock Zaira as I sing and I can feel her calm down against me. I gently rub her head and after about 15 minutes, I look down and I see Zaira sleeping. I rest my chin on top of her head and I hold her tight as I drift off to sleep as well.
At around 6 pm, I feel Zaira move under me. I slowly open my eyes and I see her looking up at me. I smile and I kiss her nose and she smiles a bit. Then there’s a knock on the door.
“Come in,” I said. The door opens and Zaira and I smile when we see Alexis.
“Hi...grandma told me to tell you two that dinner is ready. Grandma cooked chili and cornbread. She said you two can eat up here if you want,” Alexis said sweetly.
“You hungry babe?,” I asked Zaira.
“Yeah....let’s eat with your mom and Alexis,” Zaira said.
“Ok....we’ll be right down,” I said. Alexis smiles and nods her head and walks downstairs. Zaira and I sit up in the bed and she looks at me and leans in and pecks my lips. I smile then grab her face and kiss her lips a few more times. She smiles afterwards and that makes me happy. I want her to be able to keep smiling. I take her hand and we get out of the bed and walk downstairs to the kitchen. Everyone fixes their bowls and drinks and then we all sit down at the table. My mom says a prayer and then we start eating. We all talked together which was really nice. Zaira is trying really hard to take her mind off of everything, which I admire. It’s good for her to just keep a daily routine. After dinner, I help my mom clean up the dishes while Zaira and Alexis goes upstairs. Zaira goes into my bedroom to start some of her homework while Alexis goes into her bedroom to take her bath. At around 7:30 I go upstairs to the bedroom and I see Zaira sitting in the bed with Alexis sitting in between her legs. They are laughing about something while Zaira twists Alexis’ hair. This sight melts my heart. I love that two of the most important people in my life are so close. I smile and I close the door behind me and I sit on the bed next to Zaira. I kiss her cheek then I kiss Alexis’ cheek in a silly manner while she giggles.
“Juju stop! You are getting spit all over my cheek!,” Alexis exclaimed. Zaira and I just laugh as Alexis wipes her left cheek. I wrap my arm around Zaira’s shoulders and I kiss her forehead. She looks at me and smiles.
“You alright gorgeous?,” I asked Zaira while playing in her hair.
“I’m ok Julian....thank you,” Zaira said.
“It’s really good to see you smile.....even though I know you are hurt.” Zaira just nods her head and I see tears form in her eyes. I wipe her tears the minute they fall and I kiss her cheek multiple times.
“It’s ok to cry you know Zaira. It’s good for the heart,” Alexis said nicely. Zaira just nods her head and kisses Alexis’ forehead. I just watch Zaira as she goes back to twisting Alexis’ hair. She is really trying so hard to keep it together, even though I know she wants to break down. If Zaira wants to break down, I will be right with her to pick up the pieces.
wtf!?? i cant believe that happened again!! i hope julian deals with travis (but dont get caught lol)..travis and lisa are so damn sick they deserve to rot in hell or prison for what they did! i hope zaira can get past this just like the last one..i know ts definitely gonna be a struggle..at least she has julian on her side..RUN IT
Please let this be a bad nightmare she's having. No one deserves to be rapes twice. Just as her and Julian were progressing and she was getting comfortable with sex rhis happens. Then Lisa helps him rape him. Please let this be a bad nightmare.
WTF Nooooo. I can't believe Travis did that to her. I mean I know he's f***ed up and all but to drug and rape Zaira... He knows what she went through the first time yet he still did it .mh. He's a crazy jealous monster. He and that b**** Lisa will get what's coming to them. Julians gonna kill his ass. Oh lord. Why'd this have to happen Zaira was finally moving on from her past only for this to happen. Travis your a dead man. And I wish she'd have went straight to the police. Shes washed all the evidence away which will make it harder to convict Travis. Again He's gone die now... Julians gone kill him. Lisa too. Man . Run It.
OMG NOOOOOOOO
I feel so bad for Zaria.
Lisa and Travis are both sick.
Julian don't need anymore trouble... but that b**** ass nigga Travis needs to get hurt.
Run it!
Aww man I can't believe that happened to her again...run it
This add made me sick to my stomach because of how Travis violated her and I hope he and Lisa go to jail for life for what they did. I'm glad Julian was there for her and was trying to help. Run it
WTF!!!!!!!!!!! NOOOO!! NOT AGAIN!!!! THE f***!!! I'm just sooooo super pissed and upset. travis is a b**** ass nigga for the s*** that he pulled. I can't believe him. I hope he doesn't think niggas ain't coming for his ass! Best believe s*** will get handled!!! I feel so bad for zaira. She is too nice and sweet to be going through this pain. I'm in shock and I kinda don't know what to say! Omg, No. Run it!!
Please leave me comments ladies and don't be mad!
Zaira
Four days pass and its Friday evening at around 7 pm. I am currently coming home from the library. I wanted to finish some homework so Julian left the library a little earlier than I did. He is cooking me dinner tonight. He is truly amazing. He really cares about me and he shows it whenever he is given the opportunity. I am really falling for him. I am sure I am falling in love with him. I want to tell him so bad; I just don’t want to push him away. So I will wait for a bit. Well I just got off the bus at my stop, but I have a few blocks to walk. I start walking and I feel this strange feeling like someone is watching me. I turn to look but I don’t see anyone. I take a deep breath and I pick up my pace and I can hear someone moving towards me. I turn around and the next thing I know, a blunt object goes against my head and everything goes black.......
I slowly come back to consciousness. I slowly open my eyes and I try to figure out where I am. I look around the room and I see Travis and Lisa. I gasp in fear and I try to sit up in the bed I am laying in, but I find my arms and legs are handcuffed to the bed. I try to move, but I can’t. I look down and see I am completely naked. I then scream at the top of my lungs and Travis quickly stuffs a small cloth in my mouth. I just look at him in fear and he quickly takes off his shirt, beater, pants and boxers. I just shake my head. I really hope he is not going to do what I think he is going to do. This cannot be happening to me. This has to be a nightmare. If it is, I sure hope I wake up soon.
“Lisa, get her ready,” Travis said coldly. Lisa smiles and nods her head. Lisa then strips completely naked and I just shake my head vigorously. Travis and Lisa are both beyond sick. I just close my eyes tight as Lisa climbs on top of me. I feel tears forming in my eyes as she roughly caresses my stomach and breasts. I swear I could vomit. Her touch is making my skin crawl. She leans down and kisses and licks my neck and I try to move from under her. I just yank at my legs and arms so hard, even though I can’t get lose.
“Aww Zaira, don’t be scared baby. Travis is going to take real good care of you,” Lisa said softly. I can’t even look at her so I just keep my eyes closed, even though tears fall down my cheeks. She runs her hands up and down my legs and I feel them move closer to my pussy. Oh my god this cannot be real life. This b**** is sick and so is Travis. I want to be with Julian right now. He is all I can think about right now. I wish he could come save me. I feel Lisa’s hands start to caress my pussy and I cringe at her touch. Why is this s*** happening to me? I open my eyes and I see Travis watching evilly while he strokes his d***. How does this turn him on? He has to be a sociopath. I just close my eyes and I turn my head to the side and I start balling my eyes out. I try to scream through the cloth in my mouth, but it’s muffled so I am sure no one can hear me. I then jump when I feel Lisa slides two fingers inside of me.
“Travis she is tight for you,” Lisa said sensually. Wrong b****! I am tight for Julian and no one else! I cannot let this happen. I have to get out of here. I cannot let Travis do this to me. I start going crazy by yanking my arms and legs. I will break the damn headboard if I have to. I cannot just let them do this to me.
“She wants to fight Lisa, give her the shot,” Travis demanded. I just yank my arms and legs, until I feel a needle stick me in my right arm. I feel myself becoming very drowsy instantly. It’s getting harder and harder for me to keep my eyes open. Tears stream down my face and I turn my head to the side as my vision begins to cloud. Lisa gets off of me and Travis gets on top of me. I feel his hands all over my body and he leans down and kisses my neck. His touch and lips make me cringe now. He is just so forceful.
“Zaira....you owe me this. I deserve this, not that nigga Julian I do!,” Travis said in an aggravated tone. I just shake my head but I just want to close my eyes and fall asleep. I try to keep my eyes open and I look at Travis as numerous tears stream down my cheeks and even more fill my eyes. How could he do this to me? He said he loved me at one point, but I now know that is a lie. He could never even think of doing this to me if he truly loved me. I look in his eyes, but I see no soul. His eyes are pure cold. I see him stroke his d*** and I start shaking. I’m so scared and hurt right now. I refuse to believe that this is about to happen. I cannot fully register this. This happened to me once already and it has taken me years to recover. I think it is going to be more emotionally scarring than the last time because I use to love this man. I gave this man my heart and now he is doing this to me? That’s unthinkable. I yell through the cloth as Travis rams himself inside of me. I know he did not put a condom on. I just scream as he pumps deep and fast inside of me. I can hear him grunting and moaning and I just.....I’m sick to my stomach. He leans down so his body is resting on top of mine and he turns so his mouth right next to my left ear.
“Ahhh s***.....you feel so good. I knew you would be tight.....f***,” Travis moaned. If I could throw up right now I would. I cannot believe Travis is doing this to me. I just close my eyes and I just try to think of something better than the situation I am in right now. Instantly Julian comes into my head. I think about our relationship and how good it is progressing. I can’t help but think about his smile. When he smiles, I smile. I love him. I truly do. I wonder if he feels the same? How will he feel once I tell him about what is happening to me right now? Will he stay? Whatever Lisa gave me in the needle, really hits me and I just close my eyes, trying to escape this harsh reality.
I don’t know how long the rape lasted and I don’t want to know. When I come to consciousness again, I am sitting at my apartment door. I have no clue how I got here or how long I have been here. I look around and I see Lisa and Travis pull off in a car, so I must not have been here for very long. I am fully dressed, and I do have all of my belongings. I slowly stand up and I feel a great deal of pain through my legs. I can feel my eyes are puffy from all the crying I did I am sure I look a mess. I don’t even look for my keys; I just knock weakly on the door. Julian quickly answers and when he sees me, his whole demeanor changes. He looks absolutely distraught.
“Zaira....what happened?,” Julian asked quickly. I just look at him as tears fill my eyes. I don’t want to face him. I feel absolutely disgusting and vile. How could he want someone that has been raped twice? Just the thought makes me sick to my stomach. I throw down my backpack and I grab my stomach and I run into the apartment and into the bathroom and I throw up quickly over the toilet. I see Julian come into the bathroom shortly after I did. Once I am done vomiting, I wipe my mouth and I flush the toilet. I sit next to the toilet and I pull my knees to my chest. I cannot even face Julian right now. Julian kneels down in front of me and I can feel his eyes on me.
“Zaira, what happened to you? Please just tell me,” Julian pleaded.
“No...I can’t.....you won’t want me anymore,” I said while balling.
“That’s not true at all....tell me....was it Travis? Did he do something?” I just nod my head slowly while looking at Julian.
“...Did he hurt you?,” Julian asked cautiously.
“....Yes,” I said softly.
“How? Tell me Zaira.”
“He.....he....Julian, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I tried to stop him but I couldn’t. I was handcuffed and I couldn’t get lose, but I tried. I tried so hard Julian. Lisa gave me a shot of something and it made me so drowsy, so I couldn’t stay awake. But I tried to fight as hard as I could. I promise you I did,” I said while sobbing.
“What? Zaira....what are you saying? What did he do? Huh? Did that nigga rape you?!,” Julian said in an aggravated tone. I just look him in his eyes and I can tell he is angry and hurt. I don’t want to hurt him. I just look down and I hide my head in my knees as I start shaking while crying uncontrollably.
“Zaira......did he rape you?,” Julian asked with concern. I cry for about a minute and then I look up at Julian in his eyes. I can see tears forming in his eyes and that hurts me so deeply.
“Ye-yes. He did,” I said while stuttering a bit. Julian just looks at me in complete shock. It looks like the wind has been knocked out of him. He just wraps his arms around me and we both just cry together. He’s hurt because I’m hurt.
“I’m so sorry.....I am so sorry. I tried calling you and I didn’t get an answer. I went out looking for you, but I didn’t know where you were.......god I feel awful,” Julian said.
“It’s not your fault,” I said softly.
“Yes it is. This is my entire fault. That nigga has had it out for me since day one......this isn’t fair to you.”
“Julian.......don’t say that.....I need you now more than ever.” Julian pulls out of the embrace and he looks at me. I can see guilt in his eyes but he shouldn’t feel guilty at all. It’s Travis and Lisa’s fault and no one else’s. He just inspects my body with his eyes and then sighs heavily.
“...I’ll run you a bath,” Julian said softly. I nod my head and he stands up and then he helps me stand up. He turns on the water in the tub to a very warm temperature and he puts a few bubbles in it. He leaves the bathroom and I slowly undress and I immerse my body in the water. I can’t help but cry right now. I’m beyond hurt. There are no words to describe how I feel. I can’t believe I loved Travis at one point. How could he do that to me? How could he hurt me so deeply like that? A few minutes later, Julian comes back with a towel and a washcloth. Julian sets the towel on the towel rack and he kneels next to the bathtub. He takes the washcloth and he starts to gently wash my body as I softly cry. He gently runs his hand through my hair.
“....Are you alright?,” Julian asked.
“.....He hurt me so bad Julian....I was hoping it was a bad nightmare, but....it wasn’t.....I tried to think....I tried to think about you because you are one of the few things that make me happy.....I was so scared Julian....I tried to fight back, but I just couldn’t....he was so rough Julian. He made my skin crawl and I wanted to vomit the whole time......he didn’t even have the decency to wear a condom. I have no idea if he.....he could have given me an STD or even gotten me pregnant......this isn’t fair Julian.....what gives him the right to take advantage of my body like it’s his? Huh? Explain it to me!,” I said while yelling towards the end.
“Zaira.....he is a sick son of a b**** for what he did to you. No man EVER has the right to take advantage of a woman’s body like he owns it or like you owe him something. You didn’t owe him a damn thing and that bastard hurt you in the most intimate way possible......Zaira as soon as I find him, I am going to kill him and make sure his body is never found. That’s a f***in’ promise,” Julian said sternly.
“No....don’t say that.....I need you, don’t leave me.” Julian just looks at me and he nods his head, but I know he still wants revenge on Travis. I need him right now; I don’t even want him to risk doing anything so dangerous. He is all I have. I need him to get through this, for a second time. After a thirty minute bath, Julian takes me out of the tub and dries me off. He carries me to the bedroom and he asks me if I want to go to the hospital, but I don’t want to right now. I tell him I will go tomorrow. He says that is fine and he helps me lotion up and then get dressed for bed. He lies me down in the bed and then he lies down next to me and then pulls the covers over us. I instantly cuddle close to him and I rest my head on his chest as I cry. I cannot stop crying. This pain....it’s unbearable right now. Julian wraps his arms around me and holds me tight and kisses my forehead.
“It’s ok baby. It’s ok. I’m right here and I am not going anywhere....I am not letting you out of my sight,” Julian reassured me. I just nod my head and I look towards the wall. I feel so violated right now. I’m hurt, angry and sad all at the same time. I just blink multiple times as numerous tears continuously fill my eyes. Why me? Why is that as soon as things start to become good for me, they almost immediately turn bad? What did I do? Why do I deserve all of this pain? Bad things happen to good people, but I never really understood that. I am a firm believer in God and I know I shouldn’t question why. The only thing I can do is pray. Pray that God gives me strength. Pray that God gives Julian strength. Pray that God will help me get through this situation just like the last one. Right now, I need all of the help I can get, because honestly I’m so hurt and....I don’t even want to live to deal with this pain right now.