Chapter 15

After leaving Devin at the restaurant, Tori went straight for her bed when she got home. All she wanted to do was curl up in a ball and mourn her friends again. Oh, how she missed them. Chey was always there to be her pick-me-up friend. Chris and Shad were there to offer their male-perspective on things as well. Five years without them had been really hard for her. But what was five years when looking at a lifetime, her lifetime without them? Tears escaped her eyes and rolled down her cheeks as she curled herself up and wrapped her arms around a teddy bear she kept on the bed with her. She looked around her room. There were no pictures of them except for two that she kept on her nightstand. One was from their last Spring Break trip. She and Chey were all smiles as they sat in Chris and Shad’s laps in beach chairs for the picture, the sparkling ocean provided a backdrop for them. The second came from when she and Chey were five years old and dressed in their Sunday’s best at church. Chris was dressed in his little church outfit sitting between his two “sisters’’ on the church pew. As big as Tori and Chey were at the time, Chris looked like he was smuggled in between them with his big head in view. She almost laughed out loud at the picture. She was glad he grew into that head when he got older. She smiled as she wiped salty tears from her lips and eyes. Those were good times, good memories. If nothing else, she still had those.

Tori closed her eyes as she lay back against the pillows and let her mind take her back through the memories. In her mind she saw the beach. She knew all about that one. It was one she had kept locked deep down in her soul. For old time’s sake, she let her mind take her there.

Chris and Tori held hands as they walked under the moonlight on the beach. It was after Chris’s senior prom and they, along with others, had decided to go to the beach after returning to their hotel rooms to change out of their prom attire. They had walked what seemed like a mile down the shore.

“This looks like a good spot.” Chris walked over to a spot that was hidden by boulders. He took the blanket from his shoulder and unfolded it and laid it down on the sand in the spot and sat on it. Seeing the ocean shore and the full moon from the slightly elevated spot made him smile. “Nice view.”

Tori came over and sat next to Chris on the blanket. “This is a goregous view.” She said as she looked out. Chris watched her as she smiled. He loved it when she had a smile on her face. Her eyes always lit up when she was pleased. “I feel like I’m in one of those movies where it’s nearing the end of high school and the beginning of the rest of life, and this is the scene where we discuss our future plans.” She giggled. Chris smiled at her.

“So what are your future plans?” He asked her.

“Well, you know I’m at USC and majoring in Business. I’d like to one day own my own business. A firm. But I’d start small and work my way up to the top of a big company before starting my own. Hopefully, I’ll make enough to retire early. What about you?”

“To graduate from USC with my business degree, then work a little, until I am called to minister over the church.” Chris pulled his knees under him and looked out at the crashing waves. “Family is also a big part of my future.”

“The wife and kids huh?” Tori laughed. “Yeah, I can definitely see you being a family man, a father. You’re good with kids now so becoming a father would be only seem natural for you. How many kids you want?”

“As many as the good Lord is willing to give me.” Chris laughed. “But in my own perfect little world, I’d like two, a boy and a girl.”

“Me too. But that’s a long way from now. We’re young. We’ve got our whole lives ahead of us. We should live it while we still can.”

“Yeah, you’re right. I know life is crazy so it probably may not turn out like I want it to, but it’s fun to dream, to hope, and have faith. Torian, you can’t even imagine the dreams I have, the hopes, everything that goes through my mind. All the things I want to do, would like to do. All the people I want to help, to reach. All the people, but I’ll settle for just one. If I can help just one, then I did something worthwhile with the time the Lord has given me.”

Tori turned to look at Chris. To really look at him. In her eyes, he was perfect. By human nature, he was flawed, but you would never know that if you spent even a moment in his presence. She had grown up with him, spent the majority of her own youth around him. But there was still things she did not know about him. Things he kept locked deep down in his very soul that would never see the light of day unless he willed it so. He’d been through some things, some she knew about, others she probably would never know. Despite it all, he remained strong, steadfast in his faith. He was the strongest person she knew. The Lord had indeed blessed him, and her by allowing her to be in his presence, to learn from him.

“I know what you think of me, Tori, but I am not perfect. I never was and I never will be. I had my fears, my doubts, never in the Lord, but in myself. Never place me on a pedestal about yourself and others. I am just like you. I am human, and human nature dictates that I will make mistakes. Right now, I’m trying my best to avoid one.” Chris looked Tori dead in the eyes. The look sent an erotic chill through her.

“Chris…” Tori said. No, she had to stop. She’d been aware of whatever it was that was brewing between them for a while now. It seemed like only a blink of her eyes had passed, and she was dead up in love…had seen so many movies with him. Had laughed way down deep and long in her soul. Had hugged him close so many times, the feel of his body against hers fit so right, made her weak in the knees…and a lot of things she was trying real hard not to be. She wasn’t sure what she loved the most: the way he looked at her like he was going to die if he didn’t touch her, or the way she could actually see the fine, dark hair on his arms stand up when she sat close. Maybe it was that hard swallow that he did when it got real late and the conversation waned…after they’d been talking all night, and it got so quiet that they could feel each others’ hearts beating a hole out of their chests. No, she couldn’t go there. So many sisters her age got messed up if they went where this was clearly headed. If she got pregnant now, it would ruin everything, including his dream of leading the church. Chris was right about trying to avoid a mistake. The very fact that he hadn’t touched her yet meant he was fighting not to. Yeah, she knew feeling like this was not wise, but every cell in her body yearned for his touch, his mouth against hers, to make the ache that had now crept between her thighs go away. He was safety. He represented a shield against the world. He’d been there for her and believed in her and fought for her when no one else would. If this wasn’t the one, then who was? If he flat out asked her to make love to him right now, there would be no way to tell him no. Tori shook her head, no, she wouldn’t do that to Chris. He had so much promise. She would not ruin it, would not make him go against his convictions and take her right there on the beach. He was better than that, deserved better than that.

“I love the smell of the ocean,” she said quietly, desperately searching for some conversation that was neutral.

He nodded but then glanced at her and the look in his eyes almost stopped her heart. “I do too…but it’s not the ocean I love the smell of most. It’s you.”

Okay, heart stopped. She looked away, face burning. Oh God…

“I made my mother a promise,” Chris said quietly, as he reached for her face and turned her to face him. “I swore it on the Bible, too…and I also made you a promise. I’m a man of my word. My word is my bond…but this is probably the hardest promise I’ve ever made.”

Sudden heat made Tori’s cheeks burn., and she could only look down at the sand--the pounded surf felt as if it was too far away to stare at. Then somehow her body was gently guided between his leg, and she moved in her liquefied state without resistance. A slow trace of her lips with his thumbs made her close her eyes. From nowhere a slight gasp exited from behind his touch, and she opened her eyes, mortified by the sound of her own voice. But her gaze was drawn to the heavy-lidded, sensual expression. By degrees, he’d pulled her in , close between his legs enough to really feel him. There was no mistake what she felt pressing against her. Then he simply titled his head and closed his eyes as though battling with himself. She couldn’t pull away; it was the same battle she fought.

“Torian, I’m sorry,” he murmured as he leaned in. His breath was a whisper against her lips. “I just couldn’t take it any longer.”

She closed the fraction of an inch that remained between their lips, his mouth a sweet quenching for what was burning her up. His mouth although hungry waited for her to explore his and then opened to invite her tongue in. His hands were trembling as they swept her back with sudden ferocious grace. She leaned in needing that place that arched between her thighs to make contact with his. Shame fled as she pressed her pelvis to his forcing a deep, agonized groan to slide up his throat and into her mouth. He deepened the kiss, hands now in her hair. Tears were in her eyes; she wasn’t sure what to do. Everything needed to be touch. She wanted to feel him everywhere at once, but his rock-steady approach made her follow his lead.

“I swear, I’ll be gentle,” he said quietly in her ear, placing a trail of kisses down her neck. She nodded quickly, half-delirious with need, needing him so badly that it hurt. She didn’t know how it happened but she found herself laying on the blanket underneath Chris’s body. His jacket was a pillow for her head. Her dress was pushed up to her stomach and Chris, semi-nude, was between her legs. But he had not penetrated her. He continued to caress her mouth and her breasts with his mouth. His throbbing length slid against her wetness and nearly made her black out.

It was now or never, and she was beyond telling him no. The fact that they were actually going to do this felt like an out of body experience. Breathing hard, he pulled back just enough to capture her gaze. She couldn’t look away but almost couldn’t keep staring at the endless, dark gaze, he lowered his mouth to her neck. She braced herself. A cell phone ringing made her tense. His kiss became aggressive against her neck. She could feel the danged thing vibrating on his waistband, and to her horror she said a prayer that he wouldn’t answer it, would just keep touching her like that. Was that sacrilege? But he abruptly got off of her and sat up, yanked the phone from his waist and glanced at the display. Just like that the magic was gone.

“Man, you better have a good reason…” Chris answered the phone.

She watched him become quiet, his expression cloud over, and she sat up and pulled her dress back down, making sure to readjust the thong underwear underneath that Chris had moved aside just a few minutes earlier.

“She okay?” Chris frowned. “Okay, we’re on our way.” He hung up the phone and reached for his shirt and pulled it over his head.

“Chris, what’s wrong?” Tori asked ask she watched him get dressed.

“That was Shad. Chey is in the emergency room. She’s been vomiting after they went out to get something to eat at Geisha House. They think it’s food poisoning.”

Tori was horrified, there she was praying that Chris wouldn’t answer his phone and interrupt their little thing when the call could have important, and in fact was. His sister and her best friend was sick. Not only that, she almost made him break his word just to sleep with her. She almost ruined it for him. Never again. Right then she made a silent promise to Chris that she would never take him there again, would never let her feelings get in the way of his dreams, and promises to his family. She stood up, grabbed the blanket, and hurried behind him back down to the beach to his car. On the car ride to the hospital, Chris tried to apologize for what happened back at the beach but Tori wouldn’t let him.

“It’s okay, Chris. It’s not your fault. Nothing happened, okay? Let’s just not ever let it go there or speak on it again. Not to Chey and not to Shad. We will take this to the grave, agreed?” She stared at Chris intently until he finally responded.

“To the grave.” Chris agreed.

They never spoke on that incident again, nor repeated it. And just as Chris had vowed then, he took it to the grave. When her time came, she would too. Her mind’s eye took her through several other memories including one when they were hanging outside in the schoolyard at Westchester High. They were trading funny insults with one another.

“Don’t my broham look like a cross-between Trey Songz and Tyler Perry?” Chey laughed as she slapped Chris on the back. Chris shifted his eyes at her and rolled them.

“More like cross-between Urkel and Critter.” Shad laughed, noting the nerdy way Chris was dressing and the dreads he sported. He prided himself in being a trendsetter and claimed he was bring nerdy back in style.

“And what your midget self look like a cross-between?” Chris laughed at Shad who didn’t answer right back. “Don’t worry, I’ll wait.”

Tori rolled over with laughter. “Oh, man. Ya’ll stop.” They were killing her with the insults. Plus, they all knew that Shad used to hate the teasing about his height but knew it was all in good fun with they brought it up.

“Ay, you ain’t cute, nigga. You just tall.” Shad retorted.

“Whatever, I look damn good.” Chris struck the most exaggerated pose possible. “Ladies love cool Chris.”

Chey rolled her eyes. “ Boy whatever, I recall a time when ‘cool Chris’ was scared of the ladies. I couldn’t even get you to ask Tori to the dance back in elementary school.”

“Oh my God,” Tori laughed. “Don’t bring that up, please. I beg you.” She grabbed Chey’s arms and shook her head.

“No, tell me. I wanna know.” Shad urged Chey on.

“They had this fall festival back when me and Tori were in the fifth grade. You know Chris had a little crush on her so I told him to ask her to the dance. He refused.” Chey laughed. “He was intimidated by that little badonkadonk Tori started growing around that time. HILARIOUS!”

Shad burst out laughing. “Oh man, for real?” He turned toward Chris. “Man, I would have never thought you were scared of booty.”

“Whatever. I wasn’t intimidated. I didn’t want to go to the dance with my sister that’s all. I was like ‘ew, Tori’s my sister.’ But Tori did have a little booty on her back then though. Everyone was like where’d that come from? Including me.”

“Oh man, why ya’ll gotta talk about my butt like that? I can’t help that I developed early. I’m just blessed with all this that’s all.” Tori turned to the side and patted her rear. Chris stole a quick glance before she turned back around. Shad caught him.

“Well, if you want my honest opinion, I don’t think Chris is intimidated by that ass anymore, Chey.” Shad chuckled. Chris cut him a look and he stopped laughing. “What? I’m just saying…”

“Ya’ll ain’t right.” Tori laughed as the bell rang to announce the end of break. “I’ll see ya’ll after school. I’m going to class.” She walked off unaware that Chris’s eyes followed her backside until she disappeared around the corner.

She didn’t know it then, but this was around the time Chris’s feelings toward her started to change from more than friendship. She wished she would have seen the signs then, their future might have been a little different. Nonetheless, she smiled at that memory. Another good time from their past. Her mind took her through many more of those times, and by the time she finally fell asleep, she was smiling.

TBC…