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This was the one question I hadn’t asked her,

the one that I’d been thinking about. I hadn’t slept that night, and my eyes were still swollen. I’d gone from shock to denial to sadness to anger and back again, all night long, wishing it weren’t so and praying that the whole thing had been some terrible nightmare. We were in her living room the following <a href="">links</a> day, the day that Herbert had made the announcement to the congregation. It was January 10, 1959. Jamie didn’t look as depressed as I thought she would. But then again, she’d been living with this for seven months already. She and Herbert had been the only ones to know, and neither of them had trusted even me. I was hurt by that and frightened at the same time.
“I’d made a decision,” she explained to <a href="">london links</a> me, “that it would be better if I told no one, and I asked my father to do the same. You saw how people were after the services today. No one would even look me in the eye. If you had only a few months left to live, is that what you would want?” I knew she was right, but it didn’t make it any easier. I was, for the first time in my life, completely and utterly at a loss. I’d never had anyone <a href="">links of london charm</a> close to me die before, at least not anyone that I could remember. My grandmother had died when I was three, and I don’t remember a single thing about her or the services that had followed or even the next few years after her <a href="">links london</a> passing. I’d heard stories, of course, from both my father and my grandfather, but to me that’s exactly what they were. It was the same as hearing stories I might otherwise read in a newspaper about some <a href="">links of london sweetie bracelets</a> woman I never really knew. Though my father would take me with him when he put flowers on her grave, I never had any feelings associated with her. I felt only for the people she’d left behind.
No one in my family or my circle of friends had ever had to confront something like this. Jamie was seventeen, a child on the verge of womanhood, dying and still very much alive at the same time. I was afraid, more afraid <a href="">Links London Watches</a> than I’d ever been, not only for her, but for me as well. I lived in fear of doing something wrong, of doing something that would offend her. Was it okay to ever get angry in her presence? Was it okay to talk about the future anymore? My fear made talking to her difficult, though she was patient with me. My fear, however, made me realize something else, something that made it all worse. I realized I’d never even known her when she’d been healthy. I had started to spend time with her only a few months earlier, and I’d been in <a href="">cheap links of london</a> love with her for only eighteen days. Those eighteen days <a href="">Links London Charm</a> seemed like my entire life, but now, when I looked at her, all I could do was wonder how many more days there would be.
On Monday she didn’t show up for school, and I somehow knew that she’d never walk the hallways again. I’d never see her reading the Bible off by herself at lunch; I’d never see her brown cardigan moving through the crowd as she made her way to her next class. She was finished with school forever; she <a href="">Discount links london</a> would never receive her diploma. I couldn’t concentrate on anything while I sat in class that first day back, listening as teacher after teacher told us what most of us had already heard.