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{Without Him} - Chap 19 & 20 is up... STORY IS FINISHED NOW!!!

First and foremost, I would like to thank Bre'Na Wells for the title to this story. I was stuck and she gave me the best idea yet.

Now unto the story.

<Strong> Intro </Strong>

I remember it as though it was yesterday. The summer’s heat was seeping into our bones through our open pores and he was still here with me. Continuously told me that he was so in love with me, but he was sorry for what was to come. If only I knew then what I know now, I would have left him, left them, left there as soon as possible. I would have looked around for the emergency exit before having considered pressing the panic button. But unfortunately, I wasn’t as aware as I should have been. Within 24 hours of telling me what he wanted from me, he left without warning. I could blame God for taking him away so soon, but it wouldn’t be fair on God for he obviously knew that his time was limited and failed to tell me. Now I’m lost with nowhere to go, no one to turn to and a life of hell ahead of me.

My friends try to console me each day, but even a year later I still feel that it was my fault he died. If only I cared more I would have been able to tell that something wasn’t right with him. If only I hadn’t been so caught up in my own world, I would have been able to spend more time. But now he is gone and all that I’m left with is memories of him and a child. His child.




Now for the add.

~le sigh~

Ugh. I love these adds. They're good adds, but I'm kinda pissed with Dalia. I'm glad she forgave Chris, but then I'm not happy. Bringing her to such a beautiful place like st. Lucia and having all her friends and family come, was so romantic and truly caring. Must have been difficult to have all them folks rearrange their schedules. Ugggghhh. Okay, I changed my mind. I forgive Chris. He appears to be remorseful. His contrition seems genuine. Cralia 4 life! lmao

Darius though? He can suck my left titty, go play in traffic, shoot himself, Idc. I just want him to stay the f*** away from Ni-Yah, Lil-D, Dalia, Chris. Hell! I want him to stay away from everyone! Back that thang up! lol

Awesome Awesome Awesome story Toya. I can already tell the sequel is gonna be awesome! :D

Girl forget praying before reading the sequel

you need to pray before you see Trey... and pray moms don't read
his song lyrics
I'm gonna be praying!
and your dad... YIKES!

and there you go,
Chapter 19 & 20 to end this story :-)

<strong> Chapter 20 </strong>

It was lil D’s first birthday and we took the children to Chuk-E-Cheese. Niy had grown to look after her younger brother so well it was amazing. Chris and I had gone through a lot these past 6 months. Jameson was still around and we were trying to work things out. I still hadn’t told Niy the truth and we figured it was best that she did not know.

With the company, Chris and I decided that we would sell and start something over from scratch. Our vision was to open up our own music school. He would teach vocal lessons. I would teach piano. It was the perfect idea and we had the money to work with it. We managed to buy a building where we had 3 floors and 4 rooms on each floor. This was about to be the treat for us. We had also decided to hire more teachers for the school and get everything up and running from next August. During the day we would teach adults and after school we would teach children up to the age of 18.

I looked at Niy and lil D as they ran around with Chris playing the games. They were such a bundle of joy. There was no way I could live without them. They were my life and my heart beat. “Ok, you have been sitting around like an old woman, do you mind telling me why?” Niy said as she came over to me. “You know you are something else lil girl.” I laughed at her putting my hand on my hip. “No way. You did not catch an attitude with me young lady.” She folded her hands and started tapping her feet. “Yeah I did. What you gon do lil mama?” I said as I rolled my eyes and popped my gum. Chris came over and sat back watching us whilst laughing. “oo Niy trouble” lil D said as he watched us. My children were too grown for me. I just wondered what life would be like when they got older.

A month later Chris booked us a holiday to St. Lucia. Away from the children. I guess it was something that we both needed. The past year had been a lot for us and I honestly missed having a good time with him. When we got to the island we looked around in awe. This was the first time since our honeymoon that we had even gone on a holiday where it only involved us. It was one of those him and her type of holiday. No children. No friends. No family. Just Chris and Dalia.

With the time we spent at the hotel we spent so much time together, we made up for as much time that we had lost. We went swimming together. We rode jet skis together. We danced together every night. We were wrapped in each other’s arms every night. No technology to interfere. It was us against the world.

Darius David Mitchel was out of my life once and for all. We planned that we would always read letters with Niy each birthday only for her sake. We planned that we would tell her the truth when she was old enough to understand. My life without Darius went from bad to worse to amazing.

“This is our last night here and I want to do something extra special for you.” Chris said as he walked into our room. I sat up on the bed and looked at him urging him to go on. He came over and laid his head on my lap and looked into my eyes with love, passion and warmth. “I want you to be ready for 4pm. We have a date.” I caressed his face and smiled. “By the way, I have already chosen your outfit. You have an hour to get ready.” He sat up facing me. He was just the man I needed in my life. I kissed him deeply as his hands roamed my body. I was in love with him all over again. He left me to get myself together and left my outfit on the bed.

I put on the dress he left for me. I sprayed on some perfume. Fixed my hair. Put a touch of make up on my face. Admired myself in the mirror and smiled. I looked at the time and heard Chris walk through the door of our hotel room. He picked me up and spun me around as though we had been separated for an eternity. He wore a black tux with a white shirt and red tie. We left the hotel room and went to the balcony were they had been playing smooth jazz. Chris placed his hands over my eyes and I heard people coming up and taking their seats. The music changed to a jazz version of happy birthday and Chris removed his hands from my eyes. I looked around to see Ni-Yah, lil D, mama J, my parents, Mrs Mitchel, Kay and several of my friends from NY and LA. Chris set me up and I had no clue that he was doing this. Everyone else had been in St. Lucia for the past week but had stayed at a different hotel. They all did this for me knowing how crazy my life had turned out to be in the past 5 years.

I have endured a lot and I must say that this birthday was the beginning of a new story for myself and my family.

God you knew what was going on and kept me strong through it all. Thank you.


That my darlings, is the end of that. Now time for the sequel *dances*
Hope y'all enjoyed.
Thanks for reading
Now time for Without Him: The Truth

<strong> Chapter 19 </strong>

I went home with Chris and held my children close. I was always caught trying to find a way to tell Niy things. This was another one of those moments where I had to try and figure out a way to tell her the truth. But was she not too young to know this truth? “Mommy, I missed you. Please don’t leave us again.” I looked at her and kissed her promising that I would never leave her again. We all sat in the TV room waiting for Chris to come in with the ice cream. I must admit, I did miss him and I was happy to be home.

He walked in singing:

If you had a choice
Then what would you chose to do
I could live without money
I could live without the fame
And if everyday was sunny
I could live without the rain
And if I ever went up to heaven
I would fall right back down
That life wouldn't be worth living
Because you're the one I couldn't live without

It was so beautiful. Niy was bouncing when she heard him sing. She always loved it when Chris sung. Lil D was singing in his baby language too. It felt so good to be home with my family. I think I could understand why Chris didn’t tell me about Darius’ come back from the dead and returning as Jameson. I looked at my children and saw how happy they made me. If Chris had told me the truth, I would have possibly gone insane and I am sure he didn’t want to see that happening. He honestly loved me and didn’t want for me to be hurt.

He told me about the days when he was growing up without Jameson. When they were 10 years old they both got email addresses so they could keep in contact with each other, but Jameson was so mad at their mom that he took that out on Chris as well. Chris wanted to be there for his twin. He too hated the fact that they were separated, but he was sure it was for a good reason. When they got to the age of 15 Jameson told Chris about this girl he really liked and wanted to be with, but she was 2 years younger and he wasn’t sure how that would have worked out. However, some years later they did get together and he was happy with her. This young lady that Jameson was talking about was Dalia, but he had never told Chris this. When Jameson hit the age of 18 and started going to Miami, he started dating a girl who was his age. He told this to Chris and Chris was not entirely happy about what he heard. Chris was the type of guy who saw it pointless to guys being with more than one girl, but Jameson just didn’t care.

As I listened to what Chris had to say, I guess all forms of anger left me. It made me realise how much of a genuine guy Chris was in comparison to Jameson. I don’t know if Jameson was trying to get back at women for what his mom did. But I guess that when he was a child, with no-one to explain why his mom had to give him up, his bitterness and rage managed to devour him. It’s not nice that I fell into his trap, but I guess, he did care for me somewhere in his heart. I mean, I know it’s real twisted, but he did go through the trouble to get me to meet Chris for him to be the one who cared for me more than anything. He honestly loved Ni-Yah to have gone through the trouble of leaving her money to put into her account. I know some men would have just upped and left without giving their child a penny.

I would have preferred it if he had told me the truth about his double life. But I guess, it’s not what I would have wanted which was to happen. I would have possibly gone to jail for him if he told me the truth. Which would have left Ni-Yah parentless.

Oh Lord.

Imma need to be prayed up before I read the sequel.

And my like Crystal in the religious aspect. She doesn't let me listen to secular music, even though I do it anyway. lo. So she doesn't see why I want to go see him, especially since I 'don't like his music'. God forbid, she actually looks up what he sings..... lol She doesn't know how....vulgar...and sexual his music is.

Girl you know he is! My dad's in the military and he gon be in his uniform so his eyes gon stay on me the WHOLE damn time. He gonna try to act all intimidating and s***. lol And YESSSSS, Trey is too handsome for words. :p

@Tee, I'm gonna do a diff story after the sequel and have u up in there chica.

Lool well girl, I'm not sure how you gon deal with the sequel lol

OOOOOO what u done wrong to make moms wanna stop u going?

Haha dad's gonna be watching you with hawk eyes lol. Trey is a gorgeous man.

Girl, that's like telling Chris to stop being so damn sexy. -_-

Fictional characters always get under my skin.

And I will. Let's pray it actually happens. My mama trying to stop it. (Long story)

Girl it's a meet and greet/album signing. Ain't no way for me to do no funny business with a whole bunch of other heifers around. Plus, my dad's gonna be there too. But best believe Imma be real....friendly. ;)

lloool u can't make characters from a story get u mad.
meet trey and tell him i love him and he gots to look after u
no nasty behaviour

Girl you know I'm crazy. *Nicki Voice* Motherf***ers know I'm f***ing crazy. Tehe.

I scare lots of people. I'm used to it. lol

And who said I wasn't? -_- These b****es got my blood pressure all high and s*** and got me in a bad mood now. Ruining my (potential) big day.

I'm supposed to be meeting Trey Songz tonight. :)

And yay! The sooner you post the sooner I can come up with more ideal for my ultimate a act of retribution! *insert evil laugh*


Amby girl I'm sure you scare me more and more.

Thanks but girl you make me feel like you will hot-wire Chris' car and Jameson's car, cut their breaks and let em drive to their death lol

I will post chap 19 & 20 soon.

Kiddies.....cover your ears (eyes)...cause Imma about to use some words.

*cue rant*



*end rant*

*clears throat*

Now that <em>that's</em> out the way. Great job always. Looking forward to the sequel. :D

Just a lil something to let you know what to expect in the next story. Ni-Yah is gonna be the star :-)

<strong> Introduction (Without Him: The Truth) </strong>

When you cover truths with lies, the truth erupts like a volcano leaving many heartbroken. I guess that was my case. All my life I was told that my father was dead and he had died of a heart problem. Somehow he knew just the way to solve this pain it had left my mother. That was, to leave her letters and leave letters for me also, just so his memory would live on. I grew up thinking that he was the best father any one could ever have. I went to high school meeting so many folks who didn’t know their dads because he upped and left them. But I was fortunate to have a step-father who loved me as his own.

The letters my dad left for me each year made me happy. I looked forward to the letters more than I looked forward to the money. His letters were always light-hearted and I always rushed home to get to read it with my mom and Chris. I remember for my 6th birthday, Chris wasn’t there with us. I wasn’t mad. I was more upset because I thought I made him mad. I was never given a good reason as to why he was never around, but he’s been around ever since so I dare not dwell on the past.

Things did change however. My 16th birthday came and his letter ripped my heart to shreds. The truth finally came out. Now I wanted to get a gun and hold it to his head.

I don’t care if they come after me. My whole life they lied to me. My whole life they led me to believe that this scumbag was 6ft under.

My world was officially over.


Love your comments.
Always making me smile.

I hope I don't lose you girls when the next story comes about.

Muthafck.Darius and.that.other btch he love!
and.shame on Chris for.trying to keep it from
Her...aughhh btch ass nggas too scared to man
Up and be responsible. smh...

Welcome :)

Run it

I knew I had no reason to be mad at chris !! Smh

That niggaa Darius wanted nothing but to destroy her life . He fixin to make her go crazy !!! I say kick his monkey ass

Runnnnn It

<strong> after this has ended </strong>

Two more chapters left. Then I'm gonna start writing the sequel.
I'm so excited!
You guys have been amazing readers.
Can pretty much say this story took a week from start to finish.
I managed to write 20 chapters in this time mainly because I have been bed bound since Tuesday when I got home.
This will be the case for another 3 weeks.
So... I might be able to hopefully write another 20 chapters
for 2 more stories?

Thanks for your support though ladies.
Hope you are all able to support me through the next story.

Chapter 19 and 20 to come later.

Ok f*** Darius!
I take everything I said about chris back!
Darius is a f***ing hoe ass nigga!
Plain and simple!
Dalia don't need his bulls***! He left her for another f***ing famliy!
In florida!
f*** him!
Ima keep saying that until he die forreal this time!
Run it Boo!

<strong> Chapter 18 </strong>

When I arrived at LAX I jumped in a cab and headed towards mama J’s place. I called her when I was on my way to ensure that she was actually home. The ride from the airport felt as though the cab driver wanted to take me back to NY. A couple of times the driver would look through the mirror and I would catch him staring. I had to remind him that his eyes ought to be on the road and not on me. It didn’t deter him from quickly glancing through his mirror at me though.

We finally arrived mama J’s place and as I was about to pay him he told me that I need not worry about life, instead I should let life worry about me. I paid him, smiled and left. As I walked up the steps, my mind kept pondering over what he actually meant. I rang the doorbell and waited for mama to answer the door.

She came to the door looking as good as ever. I hugged her and walked in behind her. It was so good to see her. I wasn’t even mad at her about any of this. It was boys who made my blood boil. We went into the kitchen and I sat down around the island as she gave me a glass of lemonade. “I am sorry about all of that Dalia.” She spoke through the silence as she sat across from me. I didn’t really know what to say to her. I just allowed the tears to escape once again. “I feel foolish mama.” She held my hand and told me “it’s not your fault they are messed up.” I smiled at her and continued to drink my lemonade. Once I was done that, she got up and asked if I wanted a glass of red or white wine as we spoke about what was really going on. I asked for a glass of red and we moved into the sitting room.

“Did you know he was still alive mama?” I asked and looked up at her from my glass of wine. “I knew that Jameson was alive, but I had no clue that he was your Darius.” I looked at her and I could see the shame that was in her eyes. “I had to give him up to my sister when he was 6 as my husband was in the hospital for some time and I was not sure that he would have been able to look after both my sons off what I was earning alone. So I flew to NY with Jameson and left him with my sister.

“I tried to contact him every week so that we could talk to him, but I never managed to get through to him. My sister in the end told me she gave him up to someone else and that they would give him better care than I was able to offer him.” She took a sip of her wine before she continued. I could see that it was hard on her as she told me the story. “I met Darius through Chris on one of his visits to LA. Though he kept in contact with Chris as Jameson, he had never once sent a picture of himself to us so we didn’t really know what he looked like as a young man.”

I failed to believe what I was hearing. This man whom I loved with my whole heart. This man whom I cried about day and night after his death. Was a liar.

We continued to talk and mama told me that it was not until the day I left LA that Chris had told her what happened. She told me that Chris found out on Ni-Yah’s birthday that Darius was still alive. She informed me that if she had known Jameson was Darius, she would not have invited him along to the birthday celebration.
Now I have heard from mama J, I know it was time for me to hear from him. I just wanted to understand why he did what he did. Mama called him and asked if he could come over as she needed to talk to him. She then called Chris, told him to get a last minute babysitter and get his butt over to her house ASAP as she needed to talk to him also. They both arrived within 10 minutes of receiving their calls from mama. I looked up at both of them in disgust and confusion. Was I to run over and hug Chris or Jameson? Who was I to say that I missed?

“Hey Dalia, you’re looking well.” Jameson said as he came over to sit next to me. I looked at him with as much hate I could muster up and I guess he got the hint as he instead sat across from me. “Why?” I asked him. “Why did you lie to us all? Your daughter would always ask for you. Day in day out, she would ask for daddy.” I said beginning to get angry. I felt Chris’ arm slip around me waist. “You made me love you. But now I don’t even know who you are.” I felt the tears welling up in my eyes. “Chris.” I turned to him, removed his arm from my waist and held his hands in mine. “Why didn’t you tell me?” I looked at both of them as they sat in silence. “It was Ni-Yah’s birthday. I didn’t want to ruin it by telling you that he was still alive.” He said as he held my hands to his chest. “I hated lying to you, but I thought if I pushed it all aside and not tell you, then you wouldn’t hurt anymore.” He pursed his lips as he studied my eyes and body language. My eyes darted across the room as Jameson spoke up, “you deserved better than me Dalia. I was living a double life. I had another family in Florida. I wanted to be free from our life before it got messy.”

“Oh hell nah!” I said standing up. “You wanted to be free from our life? Really?”

“I’m sorry. But I loved her more.”

“DARIUS! JAMESON! Whatever your name is!? You have the nerve to tell me that you wanted to be free from our life and you loved her more? Yet you left letters for us to read each year as though you were dead. You shouldn’t have done none of that if your aim was to come back and ruin my life!”

Run it

lool nah I'm good, u will put me out a job if u do it lol

Aww man !

I can do the sequel :)

To be honest,

I think this story will be finished too soon.
Sorry lovelys
The end seems so close
I promise I will try to write a happy ending
There will be a sequel.
So it's not all that bad :-)

THE f***!

*c**ks head to the side and rereads lasts 2 adds*

fck darius & fck chris dirty ass grimy ass
nggas. fcking with peoples feelings and emotions
that son of a btch deserves to die for real
the way he made niy and dali suffer and mrs. mitchell.
wow, i wish dalia would've popped a cap off in
both they asses! ugh, lmao i can't deal with this shid

*walks out*

Run it

Yeah Bre Bre
Chapter 16 was real hun
Twisted story I know

Toya boo!
Im lost and I refuse
To think that chapter 16 was a real chapter*sits and pouts like a 5 year old*
Run it boo!

Gonna try post tomorrow.
Last 2 adds were from my phone
And I hate adding from my phone

Im gonna try and make it all get better
I had to spice up the story
Sorry for gettin y'all mad

what the hell!? so Mrs.brown gave him up to her sister but she couldn't handle him either and started living with Mrs.Mitchell??

run it

*paces post*

I am still mindf***ed !! Grrrrrrrr Toya !
this better start making sense .

*whispers* Run it

<strong> Chapter 17 </strong>

<em> Baby I'm sorry. I really need to talk to you. I did not lie to you.

<em> You did not lie to me? Chris you made me believe he was dead! You made me love you! His brother! And you did not lie to me?

I laid back on the bed at my mother's house. I left LA the day after Chris' birthday. I asked mama J to look after Niy and lil D. I didn't want either of them to be left with Chris. If that really was his name. How could he do this to me? I thought he loved me. I just didn't understand what was going on. I planned to go and speak with Mrs Mitchel in the morning to see if I could get some insight into what was going on. None of this made sense. They were twins, with different parents.

<em> We were separated when we were young. Mom couldn't handle both of us. She left him in NY with her sister, my aunt, but she gave him up after a year because of his behaviour. We were always in constant communication, but his name was always Jameson. I know him as Darius through the business. As brothers we were enemies. As business partners, we were the best of friends. I had never thought anything of him looking like me because I know it was possible that folks could look alike and not be related. Baby I need you to come home so we can talk through this. Texting just isn't my prefered method of communication. I love you baby.

I read that text over and over until I fell asleep. It wasn't making any sense whatsoever.

The next morning I contacted Mrs Mitchel and she apologised for me finding out Darius' real name. She herself was in a deep state of shock finding out that he had lied to her also. What kind of sick, twisted and demented person would do something like this? Lie to the woman who raised him. Lie to the woman who loved him. Lie to the woman who gave birth to his child. Lie to his friend whom he trusted with his family. His name had been changed before he went to live with Mrs Mitchel and her family. She wasn't to know that his actual name was Jameson Micah Brown.

I comforted Mrs Mitchel before I left her to return to my parents' home. I called mama J to see if she would have been able to help me make any sense of this situation.

Trust me to live a life of confusion. I guess no matter what, I am better off without him.

Was this the reason Chris had not been home to read the letter with Niy? Did Darius, or Jameson turn up and make himself known to Chris? Did that make Chris mad?

What the hell was I in for?