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{Without Him} - Chap 19 & 20 is up... STORY IS FINISHED NOW!!!

First and foremost, I would like to thank Bre'Na Wells for the title to this story. I was stuck and she gave me the best idea yet.

Now unto the story.

<Strong> Intro </Strong>

I remember it as though it was yesterday. The summer’s heat was seeping into our bones through our open pores and he was still here with me. Continuously told me that he was so in love with me, but he was sorry for what was to come. If only I knew then what I know now, I would have left him, left them, left there as soon as possible. I would have looked around for the emergency exit before having considered pressing the panic button. But unfortunately, I wasn’t as aware as I should have been. Within 24 hours of telling me what he wanted from me, he left without warning. I could blame God for taking him away so soon, but it wouldn’t be fair on God for he obviously knew that his time was limited and failed to tell me. Now I’m lost with nowhere to go, no one to turn to and a life of hell ahead of me.

My friends try to console me each day, but even a year later I still feel that it was my fault he died. If only I cared more I would have been able to tell that something wasn’t right with him. If only I hadn’t been so caught up in my own world, I would have been able to spend more time. But now he is gone and all that I’m left with is memories of him and a child. His child.


Awwwww that was cute :)...Ni is an older sister...RUN IT!!!!

<strong> Chapter 12 </strong>

“Ni-Yah what have you done with mommy’s bags?” I heard Chris asked as he walked out of the room. I can’t believe it. Today I was to be giving birth to a son. His son. We got married 2 months after Ni-Yah turned 4 and she was over the moon. Now my baby was turning 6 in 2 months and I was going to give birth today. Each year on Darius’ anniversary, we read a letter that he wrote for Ni-Yah and Chris was always there to support me. The year we got married, Darius’ mother gave us a package which Darius gave to her a week before he died. It was his wedding present to myself and Chris. It’s like he knew that we would get married.

“Dad I can’t find it.” Ni-Yah said as she walked into the room with me. “Baby come here.” I said to her as I stretched my hand out. She had been looking forward to this day more than I had been and she was such a star. Always helping me. Making my breakfast for me. She was just a little angel. Chris came back in the room with my bags in his hand. I looked at his face and saw worry written all over it. “Chris, everything is going to be just fine.” I reassured him. Though Ni-Yah was theoretically his first child, she wasn’t really his and he had never been through the whole birth process. I wanted to get to the hospital before my water broke because I just wanted everything to run smooth with this pregnancy.

My mom flew over to LA so that she would be able to support me once I gave birth, but also to look after Ni-Yah whilst Chris was at the hospital with me. Mom gave me a huge hug before I left and told Chris to take his time on the road as she didn’t want to lose her only child and second grand-child. He gave her his word and we left out.

On our way to the hospital Chris was unbelievably quiet. I had never seen him so nervous before. We have had to make decisions on big deals at the company and he was always as cool as a cucumber. But now he was on his way to being a father to his first birth child, he was sweating. “Why you worried?” I said as I looked over at him. “Because you’re giving birth to my child.” He smiled softly. He was going to be doing the whole diapers thing and waking up at night. But I knew he would do just fine. “How is Niy gonna deal with it?” He asked as we pulled up to the hospital. “She loves you Chris. You have been her father for over 3 years now. She chose you to be her father. She will be just fine.” I said as I pecked his lips.

I was in labour for 10 hours. This lil boy was too stubborn. I pushed. I heaved. I screamed. Chris slept! It took 10 whole hours. Not a second longer. Not a second less. But he was beautiful. I couldn’t even be mad at Chris for sleeping. He had been working like a donkey for the past few weeks and has been looking after me and taking Niy to school day in day out. He was amazing. Chris decided to name him Darius David Brown. His reason was that Darius was a very good friend of his, and he had always promised him that his first son would be named after him. I must admit, I do remember when Darius told me that his friend already knew the name for his first son and it would be…

No way.

Why had I never thought of it?

All these years and I have just realised that Darius’ godson’s name was to be Darius David Brown. Well, I guess the most important thing was that Chris was happy to use my late husband’s name for his own son’s name. For this, I loved him more.

I wonder if Darius wrote a note about my first child in a new relationship?

*drum roll*


Thanks chica =]

I'm bout to write chapter 12 now...

Satisfy y'all folks who want Chris and Dalia together.

I missed more than I thought...

Chapter 4
I like that motto: I was the boss. I called the shots. I was in charge. Nicccce.

she a BOSS lady, own her own business. Respect.

N.Y.S.M is real creative. Too bad the purpose wasn't really happening, which would've been nice for her to interact with kids since she has her own.

I still find Darius dying suspicious, having friends call him with wills and shid. ...hmmm

Chapter 5
ok so the friend who called was his lawyer? well that makes sense. why he just didn't say so.

Damn, Darius' sis is a porn star :0 I refuse to believe that card Janane played about love and daddy bs. Btch your father was a man of high standards, she should have enough respect for herself, her parents, and family to know that there are places for therapy if she felt that way and not 'putting' all her feelings of hate or whatever into sex and porn. shame.

Darius was smart leaving the money for Janane under Mrs. Mitchel's control. Ain't no telling what Janane would do with that being a porn star and lord knows what else.

THE FCKSS! He left her a got damn mystery book?! lmao some damn notes and sht with his Clue having ass. oh, i'd be pissed. He could've at least left a damn video, but hey to each his own. But hell, now she can find out what happened to him.

MMMM! smh. Heart issues? wooooo! That's some serious sht. For a year though? Fa real, Darius? Couldn't tell the woman you loved that things would get so bad that he'd eventually have to pass away. ...okay now that sounds bad to tell someone you'll eventually die, but aye it's the truth! tsk, tsk, it'd been better if she'd known instead of having to read all these damn notes. i wish somebody would leave me some got damn notes...


Aw that's so cute how Ni-Ya reacts to how Dalia reacts, but then sad too. I kinda find that funny tho; however, on a serious note, no wonder he didn't say sht. BUT, why he didn't Dalia was strong enough to be strong for their daughter and take the news like an adult? man... Oh so this ngga had plans, huh? Well then, now i'm putting Chris in on my 'suspect' list ... what the fck else his ass got in these notes! lmao


at least there's some light on the truth. hopefully ni-yah didn't inherit any heart problems.

Chapter 6

that's a nice way to do it, darius. leave letters for your daughter for her birthday. smart. would've never thunk it!

ni-yah is going to be very well taken care of. her ass can't complain about not being able to go to college or not ever having anything when she grows up with such caring and loving and successful parents.

this lil girl is so goddamn cute! makes me wanna cry, she's so innocent and young. i hope she appreciates it all when she's oldest enough to realize it. daddy really cared enough for her to even think to make arrangements for her before he died. that's one hell of a businessman. i like darius :) taking a break, but i probably won't start back up reading until later so that's all for now

Awww sowwi Amby I'm sure you will like the outcomes in future :-)

mhhhhhmmmm Jazzzyyyy I got my eyes on u... *heads back to Lost Souls*

*walks in* Just keep reading lol *runs out*

*peeks back inside* chris about to make a move lol run it

f*** you Toya. You got me all conflicted now! lol

Chris is playing the role of 'Daddy' so well to Ni-Yah....I'm not sure if I want Darius to come back. :/ Well, he can come back, but I don't want him messing with C & N relationship. Then again, Darius is Ni-Yah's birth father....Chris is just the shoe-in.




I'm reading and making notes.... I won't post to this till I finished that...

Just read it ! Lol

lol soso your comments always long girl
I will just prepare myself to read your essay lol :-)

haven't forgotten! I'm catching up on 6-11
right now so my comment might be reallllly
long lol

*clears throat* nuh uh missy... get back here...
why is Jaz gon make me upset?

*slowly walks away* you heard nothing

hold up

why Jazzy gon make me upset?

*looks around*

*giggles like a little school girl* I can't wait !! *sits back on chair and swings feet*

Jaz going to make you upset llls

lol girl I will never go crazy hehe
But I will let you in on something...
Yup Dalia and Chris will have a lil thing going on

Chapter 12 (Once I'm done reading Lost Souls... yeah Jazzyyy I'm reading it ^_^ ) will reveal several things :-)

Whoa ! Don't go crazy now lol It's all love

Lol well I can always abandon the story and y'all with have to write it by yourselves! Ha! lol

Lol ! This fame comes with a price :)

That's just cruelty to authors :-) lol

Lol pretty much

Why have I got a feeling that if Dalia and Chris don't get together you guys will crucify me?!

Chap 12 soon come...

I love that she is moving on and not dwelling on the past. It's a good look for her.

Ni is a silly little somebody !!! She brings me joy :)

They need to get together already, Sheessh !!

Runnn It !

Omg lmao gotta love Ni she is so adorable...i hope dalia starts seeing chris as more than a friend and co-worker :) it!!!!!

Oo please say that Chris and Dalia gonna start dating soon... that would be niceee. :) lol run it!

<strong> Chapter 11 </strong>

>>Note: Ni-Yah is now 2yrs and 8 months at this point {this is to help me keep track of dates and times so we can all be on the same page}<< *This was inspired by Bree’s craziness recently…*

It had been about 6 months ago or so since I had moved to LA and I have to admit that I was loving every bit of it here. Ever since Niy came home from the hospital I had not read anymore letters from Darius. I decided that I would not open anymore until it was Ni-Yah’s 3rd birthday. The company was going well, Chris was spending more and more time with us, Ni-Yah was doing well and the best thing was, we had a letter from the hospital saying that she was to have a check-up to determine how much longer she would be needing her pacemaker.

One day Chris was over and we had been talking about business and how we could make the company grow and also how to put N.Y.S.M on the performing arts map over here in LA. Last time I checked it was going well in NY. Whilst we were discussing it, Niy came in the room and said she wanted to act for us. We looked at each other and back at her and told her to go on. I had not laughed that much in a very long time.

Her monologue was:

<em> Mhm Miss Daylaquanda was all up in my bidness and tryna get me to jump out of the aeroplane with her. But girl, I’m telling you, I was not bout to kill myself for the likes of her. Oh no. my momma would tell you that I loves me my life. Mhm. And if I killed myself. I wouldn’t be getting no mo chicken. And a girl like me loves her some finger lickin chicken. Then you got that Pocahontas pinnochio looking chick who been tryna mess with me. Ooo I’m gon beat her up so bad she gon need so many operations to revive her!
When Ni-Yah finished, myself and Chris were in tears. I still cannot believe how much this lil girl could talk. I did have to admit that her monologue was amazing. Where it all came from, I got no clue, but she did well. She was the spark that we needed for what had then happened with N.Y.S.M in LA. Over the next 4 months, my team and I got together planning and organising events to spread the word about N.Y.S.M for the underprivileged yet talented children in LA. The work was hard, but it was worth it in the end.

On occasion we visited NY to see our family and Chris would come along with us. He was a part of my life even though we weren’t dating. He was Ni-Yah’s father through her choice and he played the part very well. But now the present issue was knocking on my door a lot and I guess it’s now time for me to introduce you to my current life.

Thanks much girls.

<strong> CHAPTER SUMMARIES </strong>

I aint meant to be on my laptop right now because of the headache I am having, so to make this quick, no chapter post atm.

I want to give y'all the chance to pitch an idea for one of the future chapters.

Write a short summary of what you would want to be included in the chapter and I will choose the summary which I feel is best. Or you can all vote for your fave chapter summary.

Then when I write the chapter I will shout out whoever it is that had inspired it.

Y'all up for that? I think you guys deserve to have some input into this because you have been amazing readers.

That was soooo sweet/cute :/

I hope you feel better though.

Aww that was so cute chris is amazing with them.....RUN IT!!!!!....hope u feel better :)

Ohh I'm Leeya! Or you cn call me Lacey either way its coo. Chris will make a great dad to Ni'yah ..only thing next is for Chris and Dalia ta hook up!! Lol it'll happen sooner or later..:) run it!!