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{Without Him} - Chap 19 & 20 is up... STORY IS FINISHED NOW!!!

First and foremost, I would like to thank Bre'Na Wells for the title to this story. I was stuck and she gave me the best idea yet.

Now unto the story.

<Strong> Intro </Strong>

I remember it as though it was yesterday. The summer’s heat was seeping into our bones through our open pores and he was still here with me. Continuously told me that he was so in love with me, but he was sorry for what was to come. If only I knew then what I know now, I would have left him, left them, left there as soon as possible. I would have looked around for the emergency exit before having considered pressing the panic button. But unfortunately, I wasn’t as aware as I should have been. Within 24 hours of telling me what he wanted from me, he left without warning. I could blame God for taking him away so soon, but it wouldn’t be fair on God for he obviously knew that his time was limited and failed to tell me. Now I’m lost with nowhere to go, no one to turn to and a life of hell ahead of me.

My friends try to console me each day, but even a year later I still feel that it was my fault he died. If only I cared more I would have been able to tell that something wasn’t right with him. If only I hadn’t been so caught up in my own world, I would have been able to spend more time. But now he is gone and all that I’m left with is memories of him and a child. His child.


I'm taking a break from adding to this story for the rest of the night. I have to catch up on some other stories right about now.

woop woop Jazzy thanks for your persuasion

and girl thanks for listening to Jazzy. Much much much appreciated :-)

What's ur name though? I don't think I feel to keep calling u BoomPowwTaDoww... or I will end up calling u boombox!

but on a real thank u mucho for the thumbs up and the five stars and everything else :-)

Correction : *dabs eye*

*daps eye*Jazzy convinced me to read this and I give you two thumbs up , five stars, and anything else. This is an amazing.

This man is absolutely perfect. He made sure that he never failed his babygirl and that he left his wife protected without him there. *Round of applause* He is just everything.

I completely understand why she is still grieving his death.

I am in love. Runnn It

<strong> Still to come... </strong>

I went upstairs and started packing some of our clothes when my phone rang. I looked at the caller I.D and saw that it was Chris. A smile came across my face as I answered brightly. However, his voice was less than bright. It sounded as though he wanted to cry. It was Ni-Yah. When he went to collect her from nursery school, she collapsed. I tried to stay strong, but I broke down on the phone.

Could my life get any worse? Why my baby girl? Why? Chris told me to stay put and he would come and get me as the ambulance took her to the hospital.

My baby collapsed.

Well done baby girl. =]

The more I write this story, the more I love Ni-Yah. She is an amazing lil girl and all y'all will see that in some chapters from now.

I have a feeling that this story will be coming to an end soon at the rate I'm writing.

I only just started this story this week and I have already written 8 chapters...

Might start on chapter 9 soon.

Each and everyone of you who take time out to read this story also helps me to keep it going.

I didn't cry lol I'm proud of myself

Darius was amazing. There are no words to describe how amazing he was/is he is supporting his family while not even being there. Ni-yah is precious her father truly lives through her.

Run it

<strong> Chapter 6 </strong>

I decided that I would stay in NY for 2 weeks seeing as Ni-Yah wasn’t to start nursery school just as yet. All the meetings that I should have attended, I ensured that Chris had set up a live cam so I would be able to do a conference with the team. Everything had been working out exceptionally well. But I stayed in NY for the family support. Not only that, but I was able to get my family included Mrs Mitchel to explain to Ni-Yah that her father died when she was only 1 yr old. “So why mommy say he in heaven?” She asked as she looked at us all questioningly. Her innocence was just innocent. “Because that’s where the good people go when they die baby.” My mum said to her as she picked her up and sat her on her lap. “Oh. So I won’t see daddy?” “Nah baby, but daddy is watching over you.” Her eyes beamed at the mention of that. I was really amazed that this little girl though she had no memory of her father, loved him so much that just knowing he was watching over her could make her eyes shine so brightly and her smile brighten up the room.

I went up to my old room which was where Ni-Yah and I had been sleeping since we got back. She didn’t feel comfortable sleeping on her own as for her, this was still a strange house. I rummaged around in my handbag I took with me to meet Mr Stevenson to find the letter Darius wrote for Ni-Yah in my care. Well, one of the letters he wrote to her. He had left several letters to her in my care which was for her up to the age of 6, the letters from the age of 7 were addressed directly to her. The plan was that I would open each of them on that birthday as birthday presents from him.
How can a man still care from beyond his grave?

I looked up and mouthed “God you sent me the perfect husband and took him from me too soon, but I won’t complain for his perfection was filled with care which he left behind for myself and his daughter.” Thank you God.

Here it was.

<em> To my wonderful daughter Ni-Yah, c/o Dalia my beautiful wife. </em>

<em> I have decided that I would write this letter to cover your first and second birthday. I’m sure your mother has already opened a bank account for you, which means, that I would like for her to put this £3000 in to that account. £1000 for your first birthday and £2000 for your second birthday. When you get older you will possibly start questioning where I got so much money from, but you must understand, I would say from now, but whenever you mother explains that I was a successful business man. I was a real estate owner, a guitar teacher and I owned the studio where your mother now works.

<em> Dalia, I have addressed that issue in a separate letter for you my love.

<em> But as I was saying to you Ni-Yah, these businesses that I was involved in meant that I was able to get a lot of money, all which I took out and put aside. I made sure that I had enough money to cover you for all you 18 birthdays. I know this won’t mean much to you right now, but it just means that when you are 18 once you put that birthday money in your account, you will have $171000. That will be costs to help cover you for college.

<em> Take care of yourself and look after your mommy for me.

<em> I loved you from the moment your mother gave birth to you.

As I read the letter, I felt yet more tears taking their time to roll down my cheeks. I decided I would take it downstairs and ask someone to read it to Niy for me.

Darius I love you and I will never forget you.

I took the letter downstairs with me and asked his mom to read it to Niy for me. When Niy saw the tears on my face she ran over to me and gave me the tightest squeeze her little hands could possibly give. Mom and Mrs Mitchel tore up when they read the letter for Niy. It’s amazing that someone could care for their child so much that they would put aside so much money for this child even after they died. I know that Ni-Yah was the luckiest 2 year old on the face of the Earth right now and I thank God. Some 2 year olds aint even getting anything from their dads as their moms have to be fighting to get a cent from them.

God really was looking out for us and for that I was happy.

aww really? Thank u! That means a lot to me right now! I'm currently writing chap 6 which is almost done, just few more words then im gonna be starting chap 7

This is like one of my fave stories though!
I'll suck it up!
Im ready for the rest of the chapters!

:-( mayn I knew you weren't ready.
That's why I didn't wanna post it because I knew that this was possibly the saddest post that had been written.

I can't even promise that the chapter 6 is any happier and I aint sure bout chapter 7 yet.

I don't know what possessed me to start such a sad story.

I wasn't ready for that!
Im crying while im writing this!
He was so sweet to her!
He didn't want to be all sad so he didn't tell her!
Run it Toya!

<strong> Chapter 5 </strong>

I flew back to NY the following weekend so I could meet with Mr Stevenson. It was interesting to learn that he had been Darius’ lawyer over the past number of years before he died. I just never managed to meet him because I was always too busy to go with Darius. Come to think of it, I don’t even think Darius knew who my lawyer was. When I got back to NY, myself and Ni-Yah stayed at my parents place and even enjoyed some family picnics whilst we were there. Maybe being away from NY would be a good thing for me when I returned home. Food!

I met with Mr Stevenson, Mrs Mitchel and Janane who was Darius’ sister. It was so good to see Mrs Mitchel, she looked well and also looked as though she was not interested in taking no garbage from anyone today, not even the trash collector. Janane on the other hand was the long lost sister Darius had, whom Mrs Mitchel chose to not contact. She was a wild child in her younger days and made her decision to become a porn star. She decided to play the, I’m-trying-to-find-love card because daddy-died-when-I-was-young. Honestly, I hated that. Yes their dad died at a young age, but I know that he was a man of high standards, he showed his daughter love whilst he was alive, he sat her down and spoke wisdom to her. He even sat Darius and myself down and spoke to us about the actions we would be taking together. Mr Mitchel did not play when it came to his children learning about the ways in which they should conduct themselves.

Well, Mr Stevenson mentioned to us that Darius left some things in his will for each individual that was in the room. For his sister, he left a sum of $20,000 for her to start up a business, on the grounds of her leaving her current life. However, she would need to prove this to their mother as she would be controlling the funds. For his mother, he left $30,000. For me, he left notes and notes and more pages of notes. The truth about his death. What to tell Ni-Yah had she ever asked about him. Moving on with my life and allowing Chris to help me. This was the point I stopped.

Was this to mean that Darius was the instigator of my move to LA? Did Chris know about me all this time? Was Darius auctioning me off to Chris for marriage?

Once the meeting was finished, we all, excluding Mr Stevenson, headed back to Mrs Mitchel’s house. Janane had promised to quit the streets and Mrs Mitchel agreed that she would help her daughter out of that situation. “Well ladies, we now know what it was that killed him huh?” I sat in silence as my mind raced back to one of the letters he wrote:

<em> Dear Dalia, </em>

<em> My beautiful wife. </em>

<em> I am so sorry I had not been able to pluck up the courage to tell you what it was that took me away from you. But you see, I was afraid that it would have torn you apart then, which I know it is doing at this current moment that you are taking to read this letter. I had been seeing the doctor for a year now and he told me that I had heart issues. </em>

<em> As you know, I had a hole in my heart which wasn’t always the best thing for us, but I was coping with that quite well. However, the doctor found a growth on my heart which meant that I was going to have more problems later on in life. He informed me that the growth couldn’t be removed and that it would grow to the point that it would force my arteries and veins to close. This was then to lead to blood clots. I just didn’t know how to tell you. I loved to see you happy and didn’t want to worry you. </em>

<em> You know your body language and emotions always had an impact on Ni-Yah? If you were mad at me, she too would sulk and stay away from me. If you were out of the world happy, she would have a natural sugar high. This was another reason I couldn’t tell you. </em>

<em> My other letters will inform you of the plans I had in mind to help you move forward. I promise you that LA will be just what you need to take your mind off me and look after yourself and Niy. </em>

<em> You were both the pulse to my heart beat and I loved you both with each breathe I took. </em>

I allowed the tears to escape from my eyes as I read that letter over and over again. His life was taken because his heart had failed him. Now I felt my heart was taken and that my life should be taken. But then I remembered that my heart now beat for Ni-Yah more than anything else and Darius if he was alive would not forgive me if I gave up on life and she was still here. I read the letter to Mrs Mitchel and Janane. Both of them with nothing to say held each other as they both crumbled together. The one thing that made me happy was that God took him to a better place and away from the pain he could have suffered had he lived any longer.

lol Trop, patience dear child.

If you promise me that neither of you will cry over this chapter then I will post. If the intro brought tears to your eyes then I think this chapter will do the same...

So are you both sure that you are ready?

Ok im not gone leave a big comment this time cause
Im really just ready for this chap
Run it Toya!

This is some mysterious stuff Toya.

Man, I wanna know how this man died.

Damn, it`s taking forever lol.

I can`t wait though.

Run this.

<strong> Chapter 5 Teaser </strong>

<em> You know your body language and emotions always had an impact on Ni-Yah? If you were mad at me, she too would sulk and stay away from me. If you were out of the world happy, she would have a natural sugar high. This was another reason I couldn’t tell you. </em>

<em> My other letters will inform you of the plans I had in mind to help you move forward. I promise you that LA will be just what you need to take your mind off me and look after yourself and Niy. </em>

<em> You were both the pulse to my heart beat and I loved you both with each breathe I took. </em>

:-) And im bout to start on chap 6

Catching up :)

Darius' death will be explained soon.
I honestly don't think anyone is ready for Chap 5, it's a lot in 1 chapter.

Loving this Toya!!

How did Darius die exactly??
And no add asap we're probably gonna cry either way lol
Run it

Love it!
I wonder what he left her!
Run it Toya!

Just a warning that chapter 5 is quite heavy and I'm not sure how y'all will manage with it, so, I'm going to give y'all a days break or even 2 days.

I have a feelin Im gon get yall saying you cried, so, I'm just gonna give yall time to make these prev chapters sink in.

What questions would u guys want answered in future chapters?
I'm somehow thinking about this Casper idea Amby & Bre'Na....

<strong> Chapter 4 </strong>

“Nice to meet you Ms Dalia Mitchel.” Was the greeting I received from Chris. “Same to you Mr. Brown, but Dalia is fine. No need for the Ms.” I smiled at him. “Well then no need for the Mr. Brown. Chris is fine as it stands.” We both laughed and walked through reception, passing many studio rooms to the left and right of us. We had even passed a piano room and I had to stop and look in. Then I saw an image of Darius appear playing it. I asked Chris if we had some spare time before we went into the meeting and he looked at his watch then turned to me saying that the shots are called when I said so. I had completely forgotten that Kay had given me full control of this part of the company.

I was the boss.

I called the shots.

I was in charge.

With that said, we went into the piano room and I asked Chris if he had any random lyrics in his head as I wanted to put my skills to the test. With that he said yes, started singing and believe it or not, the chords I played to compliment his voice and the lyrics were out of this world amazing. I was upset that I didn’t think to record it though because I was really feeling that. He asked me how I learnt to play like that and I told him that my late husband was a bass player and we had always practised together. Working on chords and fusions. My favourite fusion was classical and RnB, sounds a little strange, but works absolutely well in theory.

The meeting was a success. I met passionate individuals who wanted to achieve beyond their targets that were on paper. We managed to put some ideas down on paper with goals, aims, intensions, target areas and deadlines. Kay was also present at the meeting, via a conference call and she loved all the ideas she heard. She was also happy to hear the direction that we wanted to move in. The label was on its way to being at the top of its game. I think it might even be bigger than what we currently have going on in NY.

When everyone left the office I started scribbling down some thoughts on a piece of paper. I remember when Darius and I came out to LA on tour. It was amazing. We killed it that night. After the gig we went out for Italian and sat down talking about our lives as musicians. He wanted to pursue the life of a music teacher and I wanted to branch out and teach the piano and the clarinet. We both wanted to make ourselves marketable, but we wanted to be our own managers.

Darius, why did you have to go? I wish you were here to see what I have managed to do now. I wish you were here to see Ni-Yah. Do you remember the day you gave her the name? I know I do. We argued for at least 3 hours trying to pick the perfect name for her. You were in love with Nia Long, but I refused to name my daughter after a celeb. I wanted her to be unique. So we settled on Ni-Yah Sabreena Mitchel. Then we started our business, N.Y.S.M using her initials but in turn meaning Now You See Me. I have to admit, I haven’t been doing much with it since you died, but I have some ideas to pick it up once more. All because of you baby.

N.Y.S.M was meant to be an organisation that reached out to kids in NY who were underprivileged and wanted to get their talents seen. Though I haven’t done much to develop the company beyond what was being done, I did have workers who were continuing the work which was already started.

“Hello.” I said as I snapped out of my thoughts. I answered my phone to an unrecognised number and heard someone shuffling on the other end of the phone. “Hello, how may I help?” I asked this time as patiently as I could. “Hello, is this Mrs Mitchel please?” The male on the other side of the phone asked. “Yes it is, who may I say is calling?” I placed my pen down and made my way over to the window. I hadn’t even noticed Chris had walked into the room. “I am calling to say that your late husband had left a will which he had left a specific date for it to be read and there are some things he wrote which would be of great interest to you.” I stopped for a little while to take in what I just heard. Were my ears playing tricks on me? I walked back to my laptop to see Chris sitting on the other end of the table. I signalled to him that I would be with him shortly and he nodded his head in recognition. “What did you say your name was please and what is the name of the firm you are representing?” He didn’t hesitate to answer nor did he sigh, he just went straight into it and I searched him up on google in that same breath. I had also sent out an email to some friends of mine who were in Law to ask them if they had ever heard of him.

I listened to what he had to say and asked as many questions I deemed important. He managed to answer them all without fumbling, and then said something to me which caught me off guard. He was the friend Darius told me about. The friend that was helping him out with some stuff. The friend who he was having business meetings with. That’s the thing I loved about Darius, he would never lie to me even though he would beat around the bush at times. Though this was important, I’m sure he had a reason to hide this from me.

phew take a deep breath now soso
its like u wrote that in 1 breath lol

now.... 1 word and 1 letter


awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww @ 'my sweet caramel biscuit'
that's so cute and sweet. how coincidental...he
would bring up what she would do without him and
then die. i'd be suspicious as fck. hopefully she
can really move on and find happiness with someone
else because living in the past isn't good for the
health. and even though darius is her first love,
he'd probably want her to be happy and find love
again with someone else so she won't be miserable
in her bed at night crying and missing him.

Run It

and again... Casper? loool yallnot right in the head im telling u! hehe

chap 4 might b soon thats all ima say, nothing more =]


Yay! Chapter 3 *Does Dougie*
Aww! She keep asking for her daddy *Tears*
Amby right her should turn into Casper or something!
Lol! Love the add though!
Mmm and Mr.Brown *Rubs hands like Birdman*
Lets hope he can be a father figure Ni-Yah
Run it!