WHY?(PART 2; THE ANSWERS): [I go heavy on this one, so really listen, it was just me tryna let out some pain]

Day 2, yes it is, finally kids. I'm pissed, and I'mma show it out with this.
For one, my grandma died, Rest In Peice, she shall be missed.And my momma got arrested, I cant beleive this kind of ish.
I mean first of all my ass hole of a sibling, done smoked his mind off with weed, and naw I aint kidding.
Must've been sippin on that vodka laying round, cuz before you know it, nigga gon hit the ground.
Either wind up in jail or dead, cuz all that marajauna dun gone to his head.
He say he tryna change? Please. Aint nothing but words to my momma and me, you cant change someone if thats what the dont want to be.
And it still aint helpful for my mom, she stress, about bills, her kids, and this dumbass mess. What she dont realize, crackhead puttin her to the test, I tell her not to say something she might regret, but no one listens and things start to fret.
But its too much for my mind, I aint got the time, I dont need this in my teen life, all the world's passin by, but i cant help it that i hurt...I start to cry, and thats why theres no emotion, its killin me inside. All the pain and drama that deep i hide, but this supposed to be answers, so you wanna know why?
Why the hell i'm in pain but aint cuttin my veins?Why someone got it worse and I still feel fine?...Why adolescence comes with insecurity, maturity,obscurity...need to find an outlet for purity? Why?
I'm already pure, but they cant find a cure...for low self-esteem that chicks like me endure?
Not that image type of s***...more looking like a place to fit, feeling left out is a disease, like you dyin a little bit?
Why cant I take a needle in my arm, smoke a faddy and still feel no harm?
Tell me why I cant lash out and hit a b****, why cant I bust a cap in an igga for bein a snitch?
Why in the world am I whining and complaining, like my life is draining, when there is those that got it harder crying when it raining?
So why dont I cut myself and lie, be a hoe, slide down a pole, then kill myself and die?
Naw, its too easy, life's a challenge, it aint breezy, and you gotta keep ya head up, i aint just bein cheesy.
If only woulda told Phylis(mom) to put the blunt down, if only someone stopped my brother from letting his friends puff and pass it around.
If only my father wasnt unstable, my gray hair in my young age wouldnt have showed and i wouldnt wear this label.
The sign of "just too good", a goddie goodie i aint hood, I got a tatto, doing what i am allowed to and could.
So are these the answers? More like hints, becuase they're covered up with a dark caramelled complexion tint.
So in the end I gotta smile, enough strength to walk to my future even longer, Its true that that that dont kill me can only make me stronger.
(Written 6/3/08)