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Permanent regrets

I regret, I really regret, I shouldn't leave thousand shouldn't million mother, world whatever reputation, what
Position, what happiness, what honor, than stay in mother's side, even though she doesn't know a word, even
Eat all day "red". HK] I have to nine years, peered <a href="">links</a> over the past eight years, from the country -- prevert to cities
From domestic to overseas, from elementary school, high school, college to the institute, from "volunteers from learning" to exceed "from the heart
Desire not more than from ", after KanKanKeKe, already passed, Yang avenue, also walked one bridge is passing by
"No way" suspected water replies, and see the "milk", joy and righteousness villages and sorrow and driving, disappointment and hope
Fly together, my experience was much yi, must say <a href="">links london</a> the most deeply, the most true, the most unforgettable regrets, namely "permanent
The man "namely: dont leave hometown, leave her mother.

I was born in LuXiBei an extreme poverty <a href="">cheap links of london</a> of the villages, our house is the poorest of the poor. True to be poor, without

Home day how, I was too young, said it was not <a href="">links of london jewelry</a> clear, anyway eat very bad, this I know is
. According to the standard, then eat white (i.e. wheat surface) was the highest, eat XiaoMiMian or BangZiMian cake,
Most times is eating red sorghum cake, color is red, like liver of pig -- samples. "White" and our family denied "yellow
"(XiaoMiMian or BangZiMian cake color is yellow) and our family predestination is not large also, the only day siding
"Red", the "red" and a bitter and astringent, it is <a href="">london of links</a> really hard to swallow, but don't eat again against hungry, I'm getting a little about the "red"
Color changed.

But, kids will have small children way. My <a href="">sale</a> randfather's cousin is an a juren, his wife I shout to her
Grandma, they have to this one is rich, although a juren died, but family still very good, I this a big milk
Milk are still alive, her close grandson in the morning, so all the endearment of all pour upon me, she is the whole officer
Zhuang can eat "white" one of only a few people.

She not only eat oneself, and every day for my set aside half an or quarter -- a white flour MoMo meters, I each
Morning the eyes, immediately jumped down from the kang to run, we live in the village outside. I ran to the front, crispy. People grandma
Sweet cried on 1: "grandma!" she immediately <a href="">links bracelets</a> laughs match not on hand to mouth, mast sleeves, shrinkage from the pocket
Take out in a small piece of MoMo and handed it to me, this is my day happiest moments.

In addition, I occasionally could eat "white" - points. It is my own with Labour request. To a summer
Harvest season, our house have no the wheat, opposite lives ShenZi and elder sister-in-law big ning -- they home
Also poor neighborhood - just took me to this village or outside the village rich family ground "pick up wheat". The so-called "pick up wheat,"
The attractions of is another cut wheat, always will be left little grain, these are not worth a curse,
We these poor people will come "picked up", because <a href="">links of london sweetie</a> the rest of the time, and we never picked up, is but half a basket
; But for us, it is already unsanitary environment, -- is surely to my aunt and elder sister-in-law, with special care
A four or five years old, five or six years old children, kemuel, last summer, also can be found on BaJin ten catties of wheat, these are female
Kiss the hand rub out for factory, for me to reward, over the summer, the mother gave wheat grinding surface, steamed into MoMo,
Or stick into flour cake, let me solution chan, then I cheek.

Remember one year, I picked up the wheat grades maybe a little "excess", to the Mid-Autumn festival - farmers mouth
Called "August 15," mother from nowhere get some cakes, give me a break, I'll squat down in a stone
Beside, big eat up, at the time, for me, moon cake but magical good thing, dragon liver chicken bile must also than with
On, I seldom eat the last time, I was open with no attention, mother does eat, in retrospect,
She doesn bite, not only have nothing to eat moon cakes, even other "white", mother never tasted, all stay
Give me eat, she is probably life with red sorghum cake, over to waste years, even this also eat,
That will only eat potherb.

As for meat, eat recollection seems to is blank, my old home next door is a selling cooked beef workshop,
To farmers work a lifetime of Labour LaoHuangNiu, in age, no-till motionless, several peasants begin with extremely low
Price bought to brutal way to kill, boil the flesh rotten, and sell the old beef, cook, was not difficult
Methods, farmers meat pot urinate 1, so meat is good rotten, farmers heart is good, have the situation,
Just tell 60km: "today's meat you don't buy!" Poor old home, although extremely dote on me this WaiSunZi, too
Only with the jar, spend a few ZhiQian, install a jar beef soup, little is better than none. Remember once, the jar
A cow belly, which became my patent, I won't eat, use breathes bore the rust is small iron dao, piece
A cruelly to eat, eat slowly, this piece of tripe true comparable with moon cakes.

"White", moon cakes and tripe rare, "yellow" how? "Yellow" also rare. However,
Although I have only a few years, but I also devised a way, to spring, summer, autumn three seasons, zhuang outside the grass and crops
Long up, I went outside to cut grass zhuang, or to the somebody else sorghum ground to split sorghum leaf, split sorghum leaves, field
The Lord will not banned, but also welcome. Because leaves a split, and ventilated circumstance can improve sorghum grow can more
Good, grain played can more, grass and sorghum leaves are fed cattle to use, our family is poor, never have a cow,
I have two big ye home is land, often keeps two Daniel, I this grass and leaves is to give them to prepare sorghum. every
When I this less than three bean curd doing high children carrying a large bundle of grass or with all the walk alone high of the gate from heart
Without fear, which relies on the grass in cattle circles, lai with it, always can ceng meal "yellow on the" eat, not be largest
Niang "roll" (we there patois, meaning "scold") out. To Chinese New Year, my heart sleep
May, in the past year, oneself feed NiuLi meritorious, also to have the courage to two big ye home to eat yellow rice noodles cake,
Yellow noodles with yellow rice cakes are a steamed rice noodle plus jujubes, color is yellow, but ranked "white" above, because a year only in
On Chinese New Year eat once, content with rare for expensive, so yellow noodles cake is expensive up.

I speak above is all eat, why a mother would speak up about something to eat? Cause is not
Complex. First, I am a child easily concerned about eating. Second, in all my mentioned above
Eat, almost all with her mother for, in addition to "red" outside, the rest she didn't ZhanBianEr, I in her body
Edge only stay to 6 years, after turn, stay home twice the time also is very short, now I recalled, even of the mother
MianYing are blurred fuzzy, without a clear outline, especially a bit, let me difficult solution and not easy solution, and I
No matter how also not recall mother's smile, she looks like a lifetime all didn't have laughed, poverty-stricken family, son far
She suffered from the suffering, smile come from? Once I go home listening to opposite of peaceful big ShenZi told me:
"Your niang often say such as early know send out back not to come, I whether also won't let him go!"

Brief words contained how many poignant, how much sorrow! Mother don't know how many days and nights, eye
A distant view square, expect his son return! However this son but always not return until mother leave
This world.

For this situation, I first MengMengDongDong, understands not deep, arrived at high, self
Big age, began to understand the, but oneself sponsor, economy can't independence, empty have ambition, ZenNai
Unable to realize, I secretly underground set a determination that the collapse of affirmation, once the university graduates, and made out of work
Namely, to meet the mother, however did not raise until I graduated from university, and mother left me, never walked.
The ancients says "ShuYuJingErFengBuZhi, son to raise and close not to stay." This should be upon me and I can't bear to imagine the mother
Visit miss terminating time beloved son; The thought of, I will tear your eyes all crack, darling. When I left beiping back
Jinan, also from jinan qingping turn back and saw the mother's coffin, see the makeshift house, I
Really want to a bump dead on the coffin, with his mother in underground. I regret, I really regret, I shouldn't million dont leave thousands
The mother, the world whatever reputation, what position, what happiness, what honor, than stay at mother
Personal side, even though she doesn't know a word, even if all day to eat "red".

This is my "permanent regrets."