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Tough Reality

<em>I started this story, but never finished it, so I decided that i'd bring it back.</em>
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All my life I wondered, how many people can I actually call my friends? How many of these people could I actually trust? In reality i've never found the answer, that is until my life took a turn for the worse. The man that raised me and my two older brothers and sister was now six feet under and the woman that gave birth to me was a stranger in our own home, and just when I though things couldn't get any worse they did. I didn't understand why God chose me to give this life to, but no matter how hard it got I needed to stay strong. This is my story, the story of <a href="http://29.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lxevd7cg4F1qfgpdmo1_500.jpg">Nevaeh Cruz</a>

Comments

good thing she found at least
a few friends and auuugh lol
tyga skinny ngga big dck lizard
lookin ass!
oh wow Jaysen needs to learn some
manners real quick working at the
same place as nevaeh smh.

Run It

So far my day was going pretty good, besides the fact that people continuously kept looking at me, it was alright. Somalia was pretty cool too. She wasn't in all my classes, but she was in most and by most I meant all the honors classes. We were just walking out of third period headed to lunch. "So this right here is where we grub the fxck out." She said pointing to the cafeteria. I chuckled. We walked in and stood in line. I grabbed a slice of pizza with cheetos and a powerade. She got a turkey sandwich and milk. I followed her as she made her way over to a table. Here sat a group of kids talking and giggling. "Vaeh, I would like to introduce you to the crew." I nodded. "That right there is <a href="http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_luz6azdHOL1qkt7jro1_500.jpg">Leeyah</a>, beside her is <a href="http://data.whicdn.com/images/8231281/18461_la_thumb.jpg">Milagros aka Mili</a>. Ladies, this is Nevaeh." I smiled and waved. Mali and I took a seat as everyone carried on with their conversation. "Ooo, Lee there go your boo." Mili said, they all turned their heads. I took a bite of my pizza before looking up as <a href="http://fromagirlspointofview.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/tyga-yrb2.jpg">he</a> walked through the doors. "Man Lee, I don't understand why you have a crush on my lizard looking brother." Mali said. "That's your brother?" I asked. She nodded, "And Lee's crush!" Mili said putting in her two cents. I sat there and listened as they talked, until the lunch bell rang.

I was in my last period of the day which was drawing and painting. There was three minutes left in the period and I was totally ready to get the hell out of here. I had my first day of work today too, so I was excited about that as well. The bell rang as I grabbed my things and made my way out of the classroom. I made my way through the halls and the parking lot of the school to where to city bus stopped. I took a seat on the bench and waited until it pulled up. I shot a quick text message to my siblings that i'd be at work. The bus finally came up to my stop. It stopped right across the street from the mall, so all I had to do was cross the street. I looked at the time, so far I was twenty minutes early. I walked through the mall until I reached footlocker. I walked in and greeted the employees who were working. I walked into the backroom and opened my locker sticking my backpack in it. I pulled my footlocker shirt out and slipped out of the shirt I was wearing to wear the other one. As I was putting on my nametag Alex walked in.

I smiled at him. "Hey Alex." He smiled back and put his stuff in his locker as well as putting on his shirt. "Hey Vaeh, I like your shoes." I spun around. "Thanks." He looked at the time. "Maybe we should clock in, we have ten minutes anyway." I nodded and followed him as he showed me how to clock in. He was laughing because I was struggling. "Stop laughing at me." I chuckled. He flashed that gorgeous smile of his. "Yo Alex, what time is it nigga? Am I late?" I turned around to face that <a href="http://i.ytimg.com/vi/wWRaK_fzRWA/0.jpg">dumbass</a> from the park. He gave me a mug face, "What the hell are you doing here?" I rolled my eyes. "Jay, this is Nevaeb. She's our new employee." He looked at me and rolled his eyes as he opened his locker and took off his hoodie revealing his shirt. "Alex, clock me in nigga." He turned around and did it. "If you two would excuse me, i'm going to start work." I said making my way out the door.

<a href="http://www.straightfromthea.com/gallery/d/33604-1/Chris+Brown+-+Valentines+Day+2012.PNG">Jaysen</a>

I closed my locker and trailed behind Alex. As we walked out the other employees went into the back, I walked out to see that girl fixing the shoes on the shelves. Why in the hell was she working here? She obviously thinks she's better than everyone else. I stood behind the counter with Alex as I continued to stare her down. "Damn nigga, grillin' her already? What'd she do to you?" "She and I met the other day at the park and to make a long story short, we had some altercations." He nodded. "So she played you out." I shrugged, "I guess you could say it like that." "Well, she isn't that bad. She's actually real cool. She's pretty cute too!" He said looking at me and smirking. I shook my head, "I already got a main bxtch, and a sideline. I don't need a hoe." I said. He shook his head. "When are you gon' start respecting woman." I chuckled, "The same day that they start respecting themselves."

damn she was bout to
miss the first day
...i dont like jasmine
she just too damn girly
for me lol
yeh she made a friend
now lets see if they
get back to class tho

Run It

"Nevaeh! Wake up!" I stirred in my bed as Jasmine shook me. "Vaeh, you're going to be late for your first day at school." I waved her off, I heard her sigh and she pulled the covers from my body. "You have fifteen minutes!" She warned before walking out of my room. I sighed and slowly got up, sluggishly making my way down the hall to the bathroom. I handled my business and then came back to my room, I quickly made my bed and rummaged through my closet pulling out my clothes and slipping them on. I took a look in the <a href="http://www.polyvore.com/adventure_days/set?id=46383848">mirror</a> before grabbing my bag and cell and walking out the room. I walked into the kitchen and grabbed an apple and juice. I made my way out to the car where Jasmine waited. "You know, it's not as bad as you think." She said trying to change my mood. "If only you guys would of let me go homeschooling." I said looking out the window. "Vaeh, you need to socialize with others, go to prom and homecoming, and football games." I rolled my eyes at my sister. No later, where we pulling into Dominguez High School.

I opened the door and got off, as Jasmine waved at me. I ignored her and continued on my way. I could feel the eyes of the students on me. Their atmoshpere was much different from University High, kids stood in their own cliques. I entered the double doors and once again eyes were on me. I inhaled deeply and continued down the hall. I could hear the whispers and comments of some people, for now I was going to just bite my tongue. I finally found what I assumed was the office. I walked up to the counter and waited patiently until the woman finished what she was doing, finally she acknowledged my presence. "Can I help you dear?" I nodded, "Yeah, i'm Nevaeh Cruz. I just transfered here from University High School, I came to get my scheduale. She nodded, "Yes, I remember talking to a sibling of yours. I also remember the transcript UHS sent, it was presentable." She continued searching around her desk until she found a folder. She opened it and I could see my whole file. She looked through the computer and typed in a few things and then she grabbed the papers that came out of the printer. "Here's your scheduale and locker number and a map of the school. If you need assistance, don't hesistate to ask." I smiled a friendly smile and walked out. I heard the bell ring, no one moved, so I assumed they just liked being tardy. I decided to find my locker. "Number 502." I sighed and made my way through the crowd. I walked around the corner and noticed a water fountain. I read the numbers until I saw '502'. I walked up and unlocked it, it was decent. Now that I knew where it was I decided to get to class since another bell had rang and by now most kids had dispersed from the halls. "Honors English 3, Room 102." I sighed and looked at the door infront of me, so far I was far from that room. I continued down the hall and finally found the room, I opened the door and the teacher stopped her lecture as all thirty pairs of eyes fell upon me. I handed her my sheet and she smiled. "Class, i'd like to welcome Nevaeh" She said introducing me to the class. "Go ahead and take a seat by <a href="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m0z5mpUDs91rrjoj5o2_500.jpg">Somalia</a>. Somalia raise your hand." I looked and walked over and sat next to her. She smiled at me, "I'm Somalia, but you can call me Mali." I shook it, "Nevaeh, but Vaeh is fine. So what exactly are we doing?" I asked. "Reading stupid ass Shakespeare, but you need a book so this gives us time to get out of here." I gave her a puzzled look as she raised her hand. "Yes Somalia?" "Nevaeh, needs a language arts book. Can we go to the library to check her out one?" She nodded. Both Mali and I stood up making our way out of the class. "Finally, I can breathe." She said spinning. I chuckled, "English isn't that bad." She shook her head, "It is when Maloney is teaching." We continued talking and made our way to the library, she was a cool chick.

damn...d'angelo fine af
everybody got a partner.
where vaeh boyfriend at?
she need one fa real

Run It

I sat on the bus smiling the whole way home. For once, my life was actually turning around. I looked at the time and realized that tonight Malachi had a basketball game. Unlike Anthony, he didn't get a scholarship because he tore his ALC in his knee but he still played for a neighborhood team. They played teams from around the neigborhood and different cities. Instead of taking my normal route home, I took the route to the rec center. I got off the bus and walked a few blocks where cars were parked in the parking lot and people started to enter the gymnasium. I walked in with the line and looked around for Jasmine and Ant. I saw Jasmine's arm waving in the air motioning me over.

I made my way up the bleachers and through the crowd. I took a seat inbetween Anthony and Jasmine. "You remember <a href="http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lxv0heceW21qehlsmo4_500.jpg">De'Angelo</a>, right?" Jasmine asked refering to her boyfriend of two weeks. I nodded and waved over at him. She had been talking to him for a while and they finally decided to make it official. I had only seen him twice, and he was different than the boys she usually dated, but he was cool. I turned to Anthony. "Did you see Chi before the game?" He shook his head. I turned my attention back to the court where Malachi and his team warmed up. A few minutes later the announcer called out the starters. "Now for number 10. Give it up for Malachi Cruz!" We all cheered for him and the game begun.

About two hours into the game Chi's team was up by 30 points. Two minutes left in the fourth quarter, they had no chance of catching up. The crowd watched with stern eyes as he ran across the court and headed for a three pointer. The ball moved through the air as the clock read 5 seconds, I shook my leg impatiently as the ball hit the rim of the hoop and circled before falling in and scoring as the buzzard rang. The crowd jumped in excitement. Malachi stood there with a smile on his face, I smiled as well. My big brother still had it. He was the one that made me a better point guard, I mean Ant had some badass basketball skills, but dunking was more of his thing. Chi had the talent of shooting three pointers.

Jasmine, De'Angelo, Anthony and I stood outside of the gym waiting for him to walk out. He made his way out and over to us being congratulated by everyone he passed. I hugged him, "Good job Chi!" He thanked me and kissed my forehead before pulling away and dapping De'Angelo and Anthony and giving Jasmine a hug. We stood there talking before we heard a voice in the distance calling his name. We all turned around and saw this <a href="http://cloudfront.dailybooth.com/14/pictures/medium/7d0bd1bfacb178953bb5b142d549230f_20224330.jpg">girl</a> walking towards us in the distance. I looked over at Malachi who had the biggest smile plastered on his face and began walking over towards her. They embraced in a hug and she gave him a kiss on the lips. They would have continued making out if Jasmine didn't clear her throat.

They pulled away and turned to us, his arm around her waist. She was really pretty. He wiped her lipgloss from his mouth. "Y'all, I want you to meet my girlfriend Kyra." She smiled and waved. "Kyra, this are my two sisters Nevaeh and Jasmine and her boyfriend De'Angelo and my brother Anthony." "It's so nice to finally meet the faces of the persoanlities i've heard." "I'm inviting all you to dinner, my treat." We nodded, as Jasmine and Malachi walked with their couples to their car. "You can ride with me, i'm going to pick up <a href="http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m0y7l4sqfF1r1uu1ko1_500.jpg">Rhylie</a
> from work before we go to dinner." I nodded, he wrapped his arm around my shoulder and we made way to his car.

<em>She said she wanna be dentist really badly
She's in school paying for tuition doing porn in the valley
At least ya working
But girl i can't feel my face
What are we smoking anyway
She said don't let the high go to waste</em>

Novacane by Frank Ocean was the last sound I heard before making my way out from the Vans Store. I sighed deeply and took a seat on the nearest bench. I looked down at all the applications in my hand, I scrunched up my face at the thought that I didn't even want to work there. I decided to seperate them, putting the applications for the stores I would like to work at on my right and the ones I didn't want to work at on my left. I looked to my right and my smile faded, the only application was the one for Champs. I grabbed the sheet, grabbing the other ones, throwing them away. Since I was already at the mall, I decided i'd go buy a new pair of shoes.

I walked into Footlocker and looked around when I was approached by this <a href="http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lwda8eFONC1qhy093o1_500.jpg">guy</a>. "Is there anything I can get for you?" He asked. I looked into his eyes and smiled, "I'm just looking. Thank you." He nodded and made his way behind the cash register. I focused my eyes back on the shelf and grabbing hold of these Jordan VII's, I smiled and picked them up. I examined them before turning to the boy, "Can I get these in size 5 1/2?" He nodded and made his way to the back. I looked around, there wasn't many customers in here. A few seconds later he came out with my box, I took it from him and opened it, grabbing the shoe that would go on my right foot. I slipped it on and looked at myself in the mirror. "Those look real good on you." I turned over and looked at the boy once more. He was staring at me from behind the counter. "You're just saying that, so I can buy them." I said with a smirk. He chuckled, "I'm serious, they look good." I smiled back and slipped it off, putting it back in the box.

I grabbed my shoe box and walked up to the counter setting my things down. "Will this be all?" I nodded. "We have a deal today. With every purchase of $80 dollars or more you get a pair of Nike socks free." I smiled and grabbed my socks, he scanned them along with the shoes. "Your total is $95.54." I set my bag down on the counter and pulled out my wallet. Out of the corner of my eye I watched his hand grab my paper, he looked it over. I finally found my wallet and opened it pulling out my money. "I see you don't know what personal space is?" I said sarcastically. I handed him my money and he set the application down. "So you looking for a job?" I nodded. "We'll be hiring soon." He said giving me back my change. "How do you know?" I asked. He shrugged, "Well, right now one of our employees is in the back talking to the manager. He's been showing up late these past two weeks and Jason, the manager, finally caught him." I looked at him with wide eyes. "Do you guys have an application?" He shook his head, "Not now, but if you stick around you can meet Jason." I smiled as he handed me my bag. "Thanks..." "Alexander." He said pointing at his name tag. I smiled, "Thanks Alex." He smiled back. "I'm Neveah." He shook my hand, "Nice to meet you."

I was walking around organizing shoes and talking with Alex. "So how many people usually work at once?" I asked. "Three." He said organizing the t-shirts. I looked around, "Then why are you the only one here?" He sighed, "Because one called in sick, which means i'm working double-shift and the other is getting fired." I nodded as a group of people walked in. In a matter of minutes this place was full. I noticed Alex running back and forth, so I decided to assist him. I walked up to a group of <a href="http://s3.favim.com/orig/41/boys-chicago-bulls-colorful-fresh-swag-Favim.com-341113.jpg">boys</a>. "Can I help you fella's with anything." One <a href="http://a2.twimg.com/profile_images/1742086172/AinVZIRCEAAy7Zp.jpg-large.jpeg">boy</a> nodded and held up some yellow and black Nike Dunks, "Lemme' get these in a size 13." I nodded and made my way to the back and grabbed the box, but I also grabbed another pair of Nike's he'd possibly like.

When I walked back out, half of the crowd was gone. I walked back over to their group. "Here's the ones you wanted, but I also brought these black and red Dunks. They look like your style." I handed him the boxes and he tried on both, one of his boys were like 'Yo, those red ones are dope.' He smiled and turned to me, "I'll take them both." I smiled and grabbed his boxes. "I'll ring you up over here." He nodded and followed me. I did just as Alex had done. "We have a deal today. You get a free pair of Nike socks of your liking with any purchase over $80 dollars." He nodded and grabbed his socks. "Your total is $ 135.96." He pulled out his wallet and handed me his money. I gave him back his exact change. "Thank you for coming in, have a nice day." He turned and winked at me, "No, thank you."

"Who are you? and why are you behing the register?" I turned around startled by the voice that came booming from behind me. I turned around and faced this guy. "I uh..uh..um." For once in my life I didn't have anything to say, I shocked myself. "Jason," He turned to me, "This is Neveah. She's here to apply for the job." He said smiling. Jason looked at me, and his blank face formed into a smile. "I saw how you handled that group. You even got them to buy another pair." I smiled. "How would you like the job." A smile formed on my face. "Sure, I mean yes!" He nodded, "If you come back with me to my office, we'll have you sign the contact and look over some things and get you the shirt." I smiled and grabbed my things following him to his office. This bad day, just turned into a good one.

Moms don't look good at all.
She just needs a little cheering up
That's all. Damns I like the fit it's
Nice!
And jas every girl don't wanna look
Girly-girl all the got damn time
Job hunting...can be a muthafkn pain
Lol

Run It...

<em>I came to win to win,to fight, to conquer, to thrive
I came to win, to survive, to prosper, to rise
To flyyyyyy
To flyyyyyy</em>

I opened one eye to see the sun shining through my blinds. I exhaled and closed them again, trying to regain my conscience before waking up. I pulled the covers to the side and slipped out of bed, opening my door and trotting my way to the bathroom. On my way there I ran into my mother. She looked hopeless and distraught. Her hair was a mess and she had dark bags under her eyes. She was wearing my dad's t-shirt with her pajama bottoms. This was the first time in weeks I had seen my mother. "Hey ma." I said smiling, still rubbing the sleep from my eyes. "Nevaeh." She said he voice hoarse and not once looking at me. She spoke with no emotion. "You want breakfast ma?" I asked before she entered her cave again. She turned and looked at me shaking her head 'no' closing the door. I sighed and looked up towards to the sky. "Atleast you got her out, even if it was for a few seconds." I started my way back towards the bathroom again.

I stood before the mirror checking my <a href="http://www.polyvore.com/11_12/set?id=47024213">ensemble</a> once more. Once I was fully satisfied I sprayed myself and let my curls fall. I grabbed my bag and walked into the kitchen, where once again, I found my siblings. It was like a morning routine for all of us to meet up in here. As I walked in all eyes were on me. "I thought you weren't going to school today?" Malachi asked taking a bite into his apple. "I'm not. I found today a perfect opportunity to go job hunting." I said smiling. "Seriously Vaeh, you don't have to get a job." Ant stated taking a sip of his juice. "Anthony, I want too. I mean what am I going to do when I graduate and need a job, i'll have no experience." He nodded, "I guess you're right." I smiled. "I'm always right." Jasmine looked over at me head to toe. "Say what you gotta say Jas, I know you do." I said rolling my eyes. "You read my mind, first thing's first. You need to look presentable. You should have worn a dress or something and second I actually like that bag, where'd you get it?" "Your closet and plus i'm not going to try to hard, if they wanna hire me based on how I dress than so be it, in my mind I look presentable enough." I said reaching over to get a poptart. She nodded, "That looks really cute on you." "Thanks. Did y'all see ma. I saw her this morning." I said opening the pack and sitting on the counter top. Anthony nodded. "I saw her last night when I came out to get some water before bed." He said. I sighed. "I'm happy that atleast she's coming out of the room." Jasmine said. I nodded, "I'd just wish she'd come out to hang with us." "We gott take baby steps Vaeh. She'll come around when she's ready." We all nodded and continued talking.

mmmm hm lol I kinda figured
mc was chi. and damn saf room
is cute but I like neveah room better
Id rather do with blue
I hope god and her dad answer
that prayer cause they momma is fckn
pushin it to the edge

Run It

I was chilling in my room, cutting out pictures from magazines to put on my wall, I enjoyed making collages it added my thoughts from my mind on to the walls of my <a href="http://www.bedroominteriordesign.org/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/Solid-Teen-Bedroom-Design-with-Wardrobe-Set-600x359.jpg">room</a>. I put my scissors down and sighed looking around my room. It wasn't anything like Safiyah's <a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_ZMdhaMF_UzU/TIqgCB3CWXI/AAAAAAAAAJ0/CAqubVDzQTE/s1600/Amazing-girls-room-from-AltaModa-2.jpg">room</a>, but that didn't matter to me. I mean c'mon she's a single child born into a wealthy family where her father is a lawyer and her mother a stay at home mom. If it wasn't for my dad i'd still be sharing a room with Jasmine. Our house was originally a three bedroom house, but as we started growing older my dad figured we needed our own space. So he turned the garage into two seperate bedrooms giving them to Ant and Chi so they each had their own room and Jasmine got her own room which used to be the boys'.

I changed the song on my iPod and continued cutting out pictures and pasting them to a sheet. I heard a light knock on the door, I looked up to see Malacho walking in, he smiled. "Hey baby sis." "Hey." I said. He took a seat in my desk chair. "So what brings you into my room?" He gave me that look that my dad always gave me when I did something bad. Swear, when it came to Anthony and Malachi looked just like my him

"You know exactly why I came in here. Why didn't you call one of us to pick you up from where you were? Dom told me about what happened earlier, if...if he wouldn't have showed up you could have been seriously hurt." I put my scissors down and looked over at him. "I know I could have called you guys and i'm sorry for scaring you guys like that." "Vaeh, you gotta understand that you're our baby sister and if anything ever happened to you, we would never forgive ourselves. We promised dad that we'd always look out for you." I nodded, "I know. Chi?" He looked over at me. "What?" "Who's 'MC'?" I asked putting air quotes around the name.

"He's no one." He said. I chuckled, "I'm not dumb. You might as well tell me since i'm already finding out about other things today." He sighed, "MC is me okay." "What do you do exactly?" He gave me that look that said 'Really Vaeh?' I shrugged, "I'm just curious." He sighed again, "I've been selling a little dough on the side to make a little extra cash, but as soon as I finish school and get a full time job i'll stop." I nodded, "One last thing, everyone but mama knows right?" He nodded. "Okay, goodnight Chi." He got up and kissed my forehead. "Goodnight baby sis."

He made his way out of my room closing the door behind him. I felt my eyes getting heavy, I decided to put all my stuff away and head to bed. Today was alot of stuff to handle. I pulled the covers down and sat on my knees on the edge of my bed. "Papi, I know you're up there with God. I just wanna let you know that I appreciate you trying your hardest to keep me safe and protected. I've learned alot today and I realize that God is doing all this for a reason. I just want to ask for one thing. Can you help mama find her way out of that room. She's just hurting herself even more. Amen." I blessed myself and hopped in bed turning off the light. I stared up at the cieling as the light from the moon shined through the window.

lmaoooo um dude got mad af!
like boo don't getcha ass beat!
lol dom saved dude from a good
ass whoopin too! lol.
fck they all knew about the school
situation. man...ugh but as
long as she WANTS to get a job and
transfer so they won't have to
stress, then it'll be all good.
and fck...they momma hasn't still
gone back to work. damnz. somebody
need to tell her ass to get tf up!
but by all means...lay around all
day and not give af and let your house
run into the ground and kids have to work
because yo ass won't do the job. smh.
i understand and all, but she's the
adult and her name is on the bills -
not theirs. they shouldn't have to do
a damn thing but go to school and do
their fckn homework and play.
...but anyway, i like their siblingship.
it's strong and inseparable. thas whassup.

Run It

I hopped off the bus and began making my way to where I usually went to clear my mind. I walked down the sidewalk as Thursday by The Weeknd blasted through my headphones. I watched as afternoon drug dealers stood on the corners, teenage mothers awaiting the bus, and cars beaming past me. I walked into the liquor store ignoring the comments from the guys hanging on the outside. I grabbed some peanut m&m's, a bag of hot cheetos, and a mango arizona. I took it all up to the front counter pulling out my wallet from my rucksack to pay for all my stuff. I handed the cashier my five dollar bill and grabbed my stuff making my way out ignoring the same guys and continuing my way.

As I continued walking I put all my things into my sack. I looked straight ahead to see the park in the distance, I walked across the crosswalk and into the park where I passed this group of <a href="http://img560.imageshack.us/img560/6666/rth945jhg.jpg">boys</a> chilling on a table. They were joking around as the darker one did his dougie and the other three laughed. The light skinned one stopped him and stood up on the table as the others watched, he did his dougie aswell. I walked past them as they stopped and just stared. "Look what we got here?" Said the one who was just dancing on the table. I ignored them and proceeded. "What you doing on this side of town lil' mama? Did you find out that your richass daddy has another family out here?" I stopped and turned around pulling my headphones from my ears. "You don't know anything about me." I said full of attitude. He chuckled and so did his friends. "Please babygirl, I don't need to know. The logo on your blazer says it all." I knew he was judging me based off the name of my school. I shook my head and scoffed, "You don't know shxt about me. But as for you, you have nothing going for you. Sitting out here with your friends when you should be at school. Probably smoked some weed before this, and now you're probably waiting for the sun to go down so you can go and sell your drugs to poor hopeless crackheads just so you can live that good life. For all I know you probably have a baby momma, but i'm not gon' judge because that isn't me." "Damn, nigga you just got owned." The one with dreads said. "Nigga shut the fxck up!" The tall light skinned one said shoving him. "You don't know anything about me." He said sizing me up. I looked up a him since he was a good foot taller, "Well than I guess you shouldn't judge." I popped my headphones back in my ears and started on my way again.

I sighed at the fact that my iPod battery had officially died out. I pulled out my cellphone to look at the time since by now the sun had already gone down and I knew I had been out all day long. I dragged my finger across the screen unlocking it to reveal a bunch of text messages and missed phone calls. I scrolled through them noticing texts and calls from Saf, my brothers and sister, my coach, and some girls from the team. I shook my head and cleared them, damn right I wasn't showing up looking at the time it read 8:34 pm, the game had already started about half an hour ago. I locked my screen and gathered all my things.

I crossed through the park that was now filled with late night teenagers smoking weed. The scent of marijuana filled the air, I walked by them and continued my way back home. For the second time today I walked down the same streets that now lit up with the flourescent lights of signs. Late night drug dealers and drug addicts clung at every corner. I tried to walk as quickly as possible, ignoring eye contact with all the men that stood around. They whistled and I just continued walking until some guy pulled me back by my wrist.

"How you doin' ma?" I looked at him with a blank face, "I'd be doing great if you'd let me go." He chuckled, "Why you playin' hard to get?" Again, I looked at him with a blank face. "You got three seconds to let me go." I said giving him a fair warning. His smirk fell from his face and his nostrils began to flare. "Who the hell you think you talkin' to like that?" I raised my eyebrows this nigga had a quick as temper, "I believe you!" I said poking him in the forehead. That had just sent him over the roof because next thing I know he was gripping my arm tighter as I struggled to loosen myself from his grip.

I felt the pressure loosen up as someone came in between us. "Yo nigga, what the fxck you think you doin'?!" I looked to see none other than <a href="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m15s7lGAuD1rs2yruo1_500.png">Dominic</a> himself. "I'm puttin' this bxtch in her place." He said refering to me, I was about to respond back to his comment when Dom answered him. "Nigga you better watch yo mouth. This here is MC's blood." His eyes got wide, and looked at me. "Yo, I didn't know. I'm so sorry, please don't tell MC, please." I just looked at him, fear in his eyes. "Yo, get on outta' here." Dom said shooing him away. He turned to me and grabbed me by my forearm pulling me along with him until I saw his car parked around the corner.

"Get in." He said unlocking the door. I opened it and hopped in buckling up my seatbelt. He started the car and began driving, it was silent for a few minutes before looking over at me. "What were you doing in the street around this time? Hasn't Ant and Chi told you not to be walking out around this time by yourself. I nodded, "They did, but I was coming from somewhere. Who's MC and how does he know who that guy was?" "Don't worry about it. Didn't you have a basketball game tonight." I nodded, "Yeah, but I decided not to go." "Why? Isn't this that rivalry game?" "Mhmm, but it's not my school anymore so I really don't care." He looked over at me. "Whatcha' mean?" I told him about earlier. "Damn." We sat there in silence until he pulled up to my house, everyone's cars were in the drive-way meaning my siblings were home. We both got off. He walked beside me as I pulled out my keys, I slipped my key into the hole and opened the door to see Anthony pacing back and forth.

Jasmine and Anthony looked my way. "Nevaeh!" He exclaimed walking over to me and embracing me in a hug. "Ant, I can't breathe." I muffled into his chest, he pulled back. "Where the hell were you? We've been calling you all day and you weren't at the game. They called your name and you didn't come out!" I watched as Dominic talked to Malachi, they dapped and Dom left. I looked over at Malachi who looked pissed. I bet Chi was this so called 'MC' they were talking about. "Nevaeh! Are you listening?" I heard Jasmine exclaim. "Here, maybe this will explan it all." I said digging through my bag and handing her the envelope that had the notice on it.

I pushed pass them and sat down on the couch. She opened it and read it as Anthony stood by her side reading aswell. Her facial expressions said it all. "What does it say?" Malachi asked. Anthony handed him the letter, he silently read it to himself. Anthony sat down in the recliner across from me and sighed. "We didn't want you to find out like this." He said. I folded my arms across my chest. "Why didn't you guys tell me?" "We tried to keep paying in the same payments that daddy did, but we just couldn't keep up. Especially since mom hasn't been back to work and we're all going to school and working part-time jobs, we just couldn't." Jasmine said. "Look, we're going to find a way to come up with this money." Malachi said, I shook my head. "It's fine. I don't need you guys stressing over me. I'll transfer to another school and get a job to help out around the house."

Ant looked over at me. "Vaeh, you don't have to, we promised dad that we'd give you the best education possible." I smiled. "Anthony, I promise papi will be fine with my decision." "You don't need to get a job though, you know that right? You're our baby sister and you don't need too." "But I want too, plus i've had my eye on working at Champs." He smiled and stood up pulling me up and embracing me in a big hug. Jasmine and Malachi joined in aswell. "No matter what the Cruz siblings will stick together. Para siempre." He said. "Para siempre (forever)." We repeated. "You know your not off the hook for leaving the way you did." Malachi said in a serious tone as we all pulled away. I looked at him and smiled. "Neither are you big bro." He looked at me funny and I walked down the hall to my room to shower.

damn that's total bullsht.

Run It

The city bus dropped me off at my normal stop which was a few blocks away from the school. I walked a little bobbing my head to the music as I waved at the people in the neighborhood who came out to grab their morning papers or were leaving for work. I finally saw the sign that read 'University High School'. I made my way threw the parking lot, looking at the arrange of colors of cars. They ranged from BMW's to Mercedes and so on. I nodded at some people I knew making my way through the halls down to my locker. I grabbed the books I needed and stuck them into my bag and made my way to first period. My day was going by so slow, I had already went though my first three periods. Now I was just waiting for lunch. I was sitting in Honors U.S History taking notes from the powerpoint when someone walked in and handed Mr. Harris a slip. "Nevaeh Cruz, Mr. Richards would like to see you in his office." He said holding the paper before him. I walked up and grabbed my slip as I walked back to my desk and began to gather all my things. "Hey, what does the slip say?" Asked one of my friends, Safiyah. I shrugged, "I guess i'll find out. I'll see you at lunch." She nodded and I made my way out down the hall and down the stairs to the office.

I walked into the office and handed the secretary my slip. She stared at it and nodded leading me into his office. He turned around. "Ms. Cruz, i'm glad to see you." He waved off the secretary and she made her way out. "Please have a seat." He said. I took a seat, "Is there something wrong?" I asked. "Uhh, first off Ms. Cruz i'd like to congratulate you on leading our Lady Mustangs to victory and hopefully tonight you can take us up to our fifth win on our rode to the championships." I smiled. "But, I have something to tell you." "What is it?" He sighed, "This has to do with the payments that haven't been recieved." I scrunched up my face. "I'm here on scholarship." I said. He shook his head, "Ms. Cruz, I understand that you're not a resident of this school district and your father came here to better your education and chances in sports, but to attend school here...it's five thousand dollars per semester and your family was paying it in payments from when you first started here." "What?" I asked totally confused. "I understand the death of your father was an isssue but we've held it off long enough and now i'm here to tell you that unless you can pay the amount of money due, you need to find a school in your district." I was shocked, "I'm sorry Ms. Cruz. I have this for you." He handed me two different envelopes. "I hope to see you at the game tonight." I nodded and made my way out of the office.

I slowly made my way down the hallway into the cafeteria where I saw Saf sitting at our table texting on her phone. I walked up and sat down, she looked up from her phone and smiled. "So what did Mr. Richards want? To congratulate you on a great season?" I looked at the two envelopes I held in my hand. "Did you know that you pay five thousand dollars per semester to attend this school?" She nodded, "Duh. Who doesn't know?" I looked up at her, "Apparently I didn't. My father told me I was here on scholarship. Turns out my parents have been paying in payments." She gave me a suprised look. "What does that mean?" She asked. "It means that if I don't come up with the money in a week, i'll have to find another school." I looked up at her, "Are you still playing in the game?" She asked. Did she really just ask that question? I shook my head and removed myself. "Nevaeh, where are you going? Nevaeh!" She called behind me. I continued my way down the hall and through the double doors in which I entered. I continued walking until I came across the bus stop in where I got here. The bus pulled up and hopped on slipping my head phones in my ear, forgetting everything and everyone.

I hope the mom doesnt take it
so hard as to where she loses
her job and becomes anti social

run it

<strong>2 Months Later</strong>

<em>I tell her, now go and pop that pussy for me,
Haters can't see me but them bxtches still looking for me.
And you can take that to the bank and deposit that,
Put your 2 cents in, and get a dolla' back.
Some people hang you out to dry like a towel rack,
I'm all about I, give the rest of the vowels back.
I like my girl thick, not just kinda fine.</em>

Lil Wayne and Drake played throughout my iPod home waking me up. I slipped my hand from underneath my comforter to turn it off. Once I turned off, I sat up removing my hair from my face. I inhaled and exhaled slowly removing myself. I slung my feet over the bed and slowly made my way out my door and down the hall to the bathroom. I knocked, while I stood against the wall blinking a couple times. "Give me a minute." Jasmine responded. I rolled my eyes and soon enough she came out. I walked in and handled my business, I finished washing the sleep from my eyes and headed back to my room bumping into Malachi in the process. "Yo, you just wake up?" He asked rubbing the sleep from his eyes as well. I nodded and continued my way down the hall.

I pushed play on my iPod as Headlines by Drake played. I cleaned up my room, singing along to the chorus, while finding something to wear. I decided to lotion up first, then again I stood before my closet. I found my tan jeans and slipped them on. I pulled out my white tank top and did the same, slipping on my red Toms at the same time. I pulled my navy blue blazer from the hanger and slipped it on rolling up the sleeves. I scrunched my face up at the thought of how I was going to do my hair. I decided to braid my bangs all the way and make a ponytail. I found my diamond studs that my dad gave me and put them in my ears along with a leather bracelet. I walked up to my mirror and looked at <a href="http://www.polyvore.com/classified/set?id=39581456">myself</a>. I smiled and sprayed some perfume and grabbed my i.d card and backpack throwing it over my shoulder.

I walked into the kitchen to see Jasmine and Anthony conversating with each a bowl of cereal in their hands. "Morning." I said walking past them and reaching into the counter to grab a granola bar and juice. "Have ya'll seen mom come out of her room?" I asked, they shook their head. I sighed in disappointment. My mother has been continuously mourning my fathers death since his funeral. It's like she was here in person, but she was far away in soul. "Vaeh, why don't you wear something more feminine. I know you have a casual uniform, but c'mon it's not like they don't sell cute clothes in those colors." "Leave her alone, damn. I'd rather have her dressed like that then wearing what you're <a href="http://www.polyvore.com/spring_days/set?id=27764341&lid=1385734">wearing</a>." I smiled and Jas rolled her eyes. Just then Malachi walked through the kitchen door frame fully awake from when I had saw him earlier. "Morning y'all. Yo, Vaeh I like the fit." He said making his way past me and opening the fridge. I looked over at Jasmine and smirked, "Whatever, i'm leaving though before i'm late for class." We all nodded and she grabbed her purse and keys making her way out. "I'm leaving too. I'm tryna hit the gym before class. I'll see ya'll later tonight at the game." Malachi said leaving his cup in the sink before grabbing his keys and dapping Anthony and kissing me on the top of my head. Ant looked over at me, "Do you want me to drop you off at the bus stop?" "Can you drop me off at school?" I asked. He sighed, "I wish I could but I'm already late for work, if not you know I would." I nodded, "Okay then." He finished drinking up the milk in his bowl before putting it in the sink. "Let's go." He said grabbing his keys. I locked up the house following behind him. Wale's Ambition flared through the speakers as he dropped me off at the bus stop. "Be careful, alright?" I nodded. "We'll all meet you up the game." I nodded and shut the door. I took a seat on the bench and popped in my headphones as I waited for the bus to pull up. As I saw it pull up I grabbed my things and hopped on.

Awe man that's horrible
Their father died but he's
In a better place so they can
Only celebrate the good times
And memories of him as hard as
It is for them to take it all in
Anthony is sexy af and Malachi is cute
lol #teamBoricua representin!!

Run It

<em> Father, listen
Tell him that he's got a home and he don't have to go
Father, save him. I would do anything in return?</em>

<em>I'll clean my room, try hard in school
I'll be good, I promise you
Father, Father
I pray to you.</em>

<em>She was daddy's little girl. -Frankie J</em>

I cried silently as I watched them put my father's casket underground. If there was one thing I learned from my father, it was that you always had to stay strong, you could never show them a sign of weakness. Relatives of my father had came from Puerto Rico, New York, and Miami to show their appreciation and respect for him. My mother fell to her knees, sobbing as my sister <a href="http://data.whicdn.com/images/9764482/tumblr_ll1vamWKCt1qhj39do1_500_large.jpg">Jasmine</a> consoled her, once he was finally underground, everyone said their final goodbye's. I slowly watched everyone move out the cementary from behind my black ray-bans. My eldest brother <a href="http://distilleryimage10.instagram.com/bb2eebea7b7711e18cf91231380fd29b_6.jpg">Anthony</a>, assisted Jasmine in leading my mother to the parked Tahoe. As soon as everyone exited, I stepped foward to say my last 'good-bye' to my dad. "Bye papi, te amo. I promise i'll see you soon." A tear escaped my eye and hit his casket, I looked up as the grey clouds let out small droplets of water. God was shedding tears. "Vaeh, let's get going." I was pulled from my thoughts as I turned to walk with my second eldest brother, <a href="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m0wfnp6HAi1qm1uwfo1_500.jpg">Malachi</a>. I hopped in the truck and shut the door taking one last look at the area that held my father.

We pulled up to our home, where many cars stayed parked. Everyone entered the house as I slowly trailed behind, closing the door behind me. I looked around the room to see my relatives all conversating. Some mourning my fathers death and others consoling my mother. "Attention everyone!" My grandmother's thick Puerto Rican accent rang throughout the room. Everyone turned and looked. "We would like to thank each and every one of you for coming and supporting us in a time of need. Help yourselves to some warm hot chocolate, tea, coffee, and bread." I slowly escaped the atmosphere that was building with sadness in the living-room, making my way out the front door. I sat on the front porch swing as I stared out to the street. The rain began to fall harder, I smiled at all the good memories my father and I had. He had taught me how to ride a bike on that street. We also played a game of one on one every Saturday. I was lost in thought until I felt someone sitting next to me. I looked out the corner of my eye to see my grandmother. "I brought you some chocolate." She said handing me the cup. I took it as I continued to watch the rain fall. "You know, you're the mirror image of your father. When your abuelo passed away, he kept his pain bottled up." Not once did I stare at my grandmother. "Nevaeh, just know it's okay to cry. You're not going through this alone. Your hermana and hermanos are too, and not to mention your mother." I nodded. She patted my thigh before heading inside. "You're not alone." She said once more before walking back inside. I sat there a while longer sipping my chocolate and thinking to myself.